My 16 yr old friend and a 20 yr guy are becoming an item

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Actually, age of consent in the USA varies by state, but it’s 16 in a lot of states and many others have close in age exemptions (some of which would allow a 16 and 20 year old). CA is in the distinct minority in the USA of having 18 be the flat age of consent.
 
4 years really isn’t that big of a deal. As long as they aren’t doing anything illegal or immoral I don’t see anything wrong with it. I was 28 when I started dating my wife who was 17 at the time we’ve been marred for 12 years now.
 
The age of consent in most states is 16. Depending on where they live it’s most likely not illegal.
 
Tell your on line friend she has no way of knowing who this person is or how old he is, He could be someone much older, someone with bad intent.
 
As others have noted, this varies by state. Only a few states have 18 as the age of consent. In most states, the age of consent is 16, unless the other person is the 16-year-old’s teacher, coach, counselor, other authority figure, in which case the age of consent would be 18.
Here’s a chart:

https://aspe.hhs.gov/report/statuto...-current-state-laws/sexual-intercourse-minors

The state I grew up in had 16 as the minimum age of consent. Like I said it was fairly normal for girls age 16 to be dating a 19-year-old or even a 20-year-old if he was known to their parents.

Also, if the couple are not engaging in sexual activity, which Catholics shouldn’t be doing anyway, then it’s legal for them to talk to each other and even go out on a date, such as to dinner or a movie.

Of course, the parents of a 16-year-old may put limits on their behavior above and beyond the limits put in place by the law.
 
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It would be illegal if they became sexually active because she is not legally old enough to give consent.

In some states they could marry if the girl had parental consent.

Still creepy he met her that way. Sounds predatorial to be on a Catholic youth chat.
 
Yes that’s why I said in my other post as long as nothing illegal or immoral is happening it’s really not a big deal.
 
RhodesianSon said:
nothing illegal or immoral is happening it’s really not a big deal.
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In 2020, no sane man is interested in a relationship with a 16 year old. Hence why some of us are finding it creepy, because there’s a high chance this man has immoral motives (going after a girl, not a woman, because it’s easier to manipulate and lock her down).

I’m actually experiencing a similar situation. My 15 year old sister has a 19 year old guy who’s pursuing her for a while. Creepy creepy creepy! And she’s not the only one. Many of her classmates have been approached by similar aged men (18+) and many have been fooled into thinking that they’re more mature than they really are because he’s into her.

It doesn’t help that this girl apparently doesn’t have good, present and loving parents by her side. So much easier to manipulate a teenage girl with this background!
 
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DivineMercy01 said:
Still creepy he met her that way. Sounds predatorial to be on a Catholic youth chat
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There are red pill forums with men encouraging each other to go into these spaces to find a “suitable” wife to groom, even if they’re not practising Catholics/Christians as well.

Not even confined to those forums as well. Here’s an article (which is hope is satire) written by a creepy person who encourages men to go for women below 25 because it’s easier to groom…even advocates for spanking your wife.

www.google.com

7 Steps to Grooming Your Young Christian Wife

“I have read your site for some time, but this is my first time writing you. My wife and I have been married a year. She is 18 and I am 24. Now I am trying to get my wife to follow her …
www.google.com www.google.com

I don’t know anything about the man OP mentioned, but it’s not unreasonable to tell a minor to avoid adult men. (imo, I don’t think 16 year olds should be dating anyone but that’s not the point, lol)
 
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Lea101 said:
In 2020, no sane man is interested in a relationship with a 16 year old. Hence why some of us are finding it creepy, because there’s a high chance this man has immoral motives (going after a girl, not a woman, because it’s easier to manipulate and lock her down).
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Exactly. Even if nothing illegal or immoral is going on, the fact that he’s an adult who is interested in dating a high schooler makes him a creep in my book.

You’re an adult. Stop trying to “date” kids, weirdo. (Talking to the guy here, not anyone in this thread.)
 
Lea101 said:
Not even confined to those forums as well. Here’s an article (which is hope is satire) written by a creepy person who encourages men to go for women below 25 because it’s easier to groom…even advocates for spanking your wife
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If that was in the Onion it would be funny. But, it’s just sad.
 
Rather than focus on an age difference, I think it would be helpful if we instead focus on the behavior of the person.

As someone noted, there are men in their mid-20s who hit on 18-year-olds with a creepy or predatory intent. The woman in that case is an adult but it’s still bad.

I am sure there are 16-year-old girls out there who meet guys of 19 or 20 and have it work out. I knew some and I’m sure everyone else knows a couple too.
 
That and at 16 she really shouldn’t be going behind her parents’ backs to date. Although if they’re planning to wait until she’s in college that’s less of an issue.

I’d also suggest making sure she knows the safety rules for meeting up with someone you met online. Take separate transportation and meet in a public place. Tell someone where you’re going. The general rules for meeting up with someone, really. And don’t isolate yourself in a relationship, but seek feedback from people you trust.

I’m curious how much people’s feelings are being affected by the age difference, and how much by the online part? It’s definitely more normal for the millennial and younger generations (and this pair is younger than millennial) to have online relationships.
 
At 16, a girl should not be looking to date people online, they should be meeting them in real life. I understand some people have met their spouses with such an age difference. But I am pretty certain they met in real life first

The fact that she is 16 and he is 20 less important right now than the fact that it is online and she has no way of know if this guy is actually 30 or 40. He can say whatever he wants and she is young and impressionable, and yes, naive.

OP, would you rather let her guardians be mad (as they should) or potentially has something life threatening happen to your friend?

Again, have you spoken to your parents and asked their advice?
 
Irishmom2 said:
At 16, a girl should not be looking to date people online, they should be meeting them in real life.
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Keep in mind the OP also doesn’t know this girl irl, she’s just a “close Internet friend”. OP therefore has no way of knowing for sure if she’s who she says she is either.
 
That is disturbing and infuriating.

The “man” want to abuse his wife.

I hope it’s a fake story.
 
F_Marturana said:
The “man” want to abuse his wife.
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It’s funny how he states he can’t “groom” or spank his wife because she’s a moderate feminist who gasps respects herself. I’m fairly certain that many men like this tend to type out nonsense like that as a way to fulfill their perverted fantasies, tbh. But it’s just as gross because he’s encouraging other men to treat women the way he wants to.
 
A family friend is a police officer, and she told us that they get more than a few calls along the lines of “my 14 year old daughter/sister/whatever is dating this 25 year old”. According to her, there are no laws regarding whom one is or is not allowed to date. Simply hanging out with someone, a lot, even without a chaperone, is not itself an evidence of crime or even probable cause.
 
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