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buffalo
Guest
Perhaps, we really don’t know the extent of the actual violence.
I knew a kid who claimed his father punched and kicked him and when he cooled down the truth came out. In fact I know of several stories like that.
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I knew a kid who claimed his father punched and kicked him and when he cooled down the truth came out. In fact I know of several stories like that.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
My husband works in an emergency department. A man who is throwing his children and kicking them, who leaves marks that can be documented, needs to be removed from his victims before they are dead, crippled, or brain-damaged. Period.
He may very well be a good candidate for some sort of treatment, but the children should not be left to his whims in the meantime.
Waiting until he does more serious damage won’t keep him out of jail, by the way. It will ensure that he gets a more severe sentence when he finally goes even farther.
This is not about whether the father loves his family, or whether they love him! It is not about whether he is at fault for being the way he is. It is about whether he has control of himself, whether he poses an imminent threat. If nothing is done, he may one day find himself at his child’s gravesite, as too many have, wondering out loud, “Why didn’t someone stop me?”
The time to mend this family is now, starting today. Refusing to let a single more instance of abuse happen is the first step.
L
LSK
Guest
Perhaps you are not getting the point…safety is paramount…if a child is lying the truth will come out. However, the number of children and women who are hurt and/or permanently maimed far outnumber those who lie about these types of situations. If the OP is lying, the chances that he will follow ANY of the advice given on this board is slim…if he is telling the truth, then the advice given is good, solid, excellent advice.
I also know many men and women who lied about the violence they perpetrated against their children. “they fell down” and “they ran into the door” are lies that are told far more often than then lies told against parents or guardians by children. Statistically, the two types of cases are not even close.
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buffalo
Guest
I do agree with most of this. However it is very difficult on a forum like this to judge what is really happening.
L
LSK
Guest
Again, if the OP is lying then chances are he is playing around and he will not follow any of this advice. He won’t have the pictures he claims he has…however, the ADVICE given was not knee jerk advice…it was good, solid advice.
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buffalo
Guest
I would not be very happy being taken out of my house because my child called child protective services and claimed I was beating them because he/she was trying to get even with me for not letting them go to the school dance.
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buffalo
Guest
Perhaps we should have the father post his side.
L
LSK
Guest
And I would bet you would be even more unhappy if you ended up in jail because you had beaten your child because he had had the audacity to ask for a drink of water while you were watching the football game.
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buffalo
Guest
Looking back at the OP the sisters and mum were there also. I wonder what the mum saw. Is she being abused too?
These have bearing on the advice I would give.
Bottom line - I needed more info to give the advice. Maybe you don’t. But if he sends his father to jail on your advice and the father was not guilty how owuld you feel?
These have bearing on the advice I would give.
Bottom line - I needed more info to give the advice. Maybe you don’t. But if he sends his father to jail on your advice and the father was not guilty how owuld you feel?
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Della
Guest
And where did you get this preposterous scenario from? Are you living in the real world? Give it up. There is no way this young person is lying, as you imply. You are only clouding the issue with such nonsense. Just where are your priorities? These children are in danger of being seriously hurt or even killed by their own father. Doesn’t that register with you?
J
John-the-Seeker
Guest
Why in a Catholic Forum are we placing secular solutions ahead of Religious soulutions? Have we no faith? I post a web link that compares Jesus to Santa Claus. Perhaps if we replaced Santa with another secular person we might see why we might want to try God solutions first, last and always. I am not saying, by the way, that people including secular agencies are not part of the God solution.
[eakles.com/50better.html](http://www.eakles.com/50better.html)
E
Eireann
Guest
This was on the news in the UK 2 days ago, social workers, teachers, police, all let them down, poor things locked up in their rooms worse than animals. Guardian
Yes no-one wants the family seperated, I didn’t, but then again I’d rather that than someone die, or be left brain damaged.
I feel for you Christus Rex. how long has this been going on ?
Yes no-one wants the family seperated, I didn’t, but then again I’d rather that than someone die, or be left brain damaged.
I feel for you Christus Rex. how long has this been going on ?
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Della
Guest
You obviously know nothing about the dynamics of an abused wife or what she can do to protect her children. I suggest you do a little research instead of arguing with professionals, like LSK, who deal with this sort of thing day in and day out.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
Three kids telling the same story make a compelling picture. If you’re leaving bruises and your children have pictures, it ain’t about a dance.
In this state, by state law, if those kids showed up in an emergency department, even with an unrelated problem, and they had bruises consistent with abuse by a parent or caretaker, a social worker would be interviewing the kids before the parents or guardians could take them home.
Children and even grown spouses and elderly parents die and suffer permanent injury because of the “wait and see” attitude. Young, old, gay, straight, the statistics say the same: do not wait to get someone qualified in to investigate. An adult who cannot control their urges to respond to anger violently is a loose cannon, a loaded gun. You don’t fool around with a danger like that.
M
movingmom
Guest
How about a happy medium? Does the OP have a family member that can take them in temporarily while the father gets mental help? I am assuming that there is something very wrong with him, depression, alcoholism? However, if he sees nothing wrong and won’t get help, the children and mom must get out immediately. I pray there is someone to take this family in so they can devise a plan.
D
Della
Guest
While I understand your concern for this man, he has already committed crimes against his own children, and will keep on doing it until he is stopped. The best people to do that are the police who are trained to handle such situations and have the names of shelters and counselors for the family. When professional help is needed, as it is here, it has to be called upon to keep the situation from spinning out of control with someone, most likely a 10 or 11 year old child badly injured or dead.
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Mom_of_one
Guest
What this man did is a crime. If it weren’t against his own children, people wouldn’t be advising to “wait and see”. 
But because it is and family is paramount to many(as is should be), the advice is to not call the police, etc. Why is that?
Many times God will give the abusers the kick in the pants they need to change when they suffer consequences. Prayer is always good, but why should someone NOT take action? One doesn’t exclude the other. There is no reason that these children have to suffer at the hands of the one who is supposed to protect them!
But because it is and family is paramount to many(as is should be), the advice is to not call the police, etc. Why is that?Many times God will give the abusers the kick in the pants they need to change when they suffer consequences. Prayer is always good, but why should someone NOT take action? One doesn’t exclude the other. There is no reason that these children have to suffer at the hands of the one who is supposed to protect them!
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Mom_of_one
Guest
Christus Rex:
Christus Rex, why wait? And, yes, you are.
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Bruised_Reed
Guest
Chrisus Rex,
From here:
**Refuge’s 24-hour National Crisis Line **
**0990 995 443 **
National crisis line, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year which provides advice and support to those experiencing domestic violence and refers women and children on to the 250 refuges nationwide.
I wanted to find one that was staffed 24/7.
Please consider calling this number and/or having your mum do so. It can be very frightening and difficult to make this first step. At least call and get information and resources so if you need to get help in a hurry you know what they are.
I imagine there is a UK equivalant of the US 911 emergency number. Don’t hesitate to use that if any of you are attacked like that again. If you want to just report the prior abuse you should be able to just call the local number for the police.
I will be praying also. Prayer is important, whatever support system you have (family, friends, teachers, etc) is important, and taking action is important.
Abuse is never right, there is no excuse. You, your mum and your siblings deserve to live in peace and safety.
Lastly, you ARE doing the right thing.
P.S. Can you call the teacher you were going to talk to after the holidays? Or someone else you trust? It can be schoolmate; just someone who will believe you and have your back if you start to lose courage.
From here:
**Refuge’s 24-hour National Crisis Line **
**0990 995 443 **
National crisis line, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year which provides advice and support to those experiencing domestic violence and refers women and children on to the 250 refuges nationwide.
I wanted to find one that was staffed 24/7.
Please consider calling this number and/or having your mum do so. It can be very frightening and difficult to make this first step. At least call and get information and resources so if you need to get help in a hurry you know what they are.
I imagine there is a UK equivalant of the US 911 emergency number. Don’t hesitate to use that if any of you are attacked like that again. If you want to just report the prior abuse you should be able to just call the local number for the police.
I will be praying also. Prayer is important, whatever support system you have (family, friends, teachers, etc) is important, and taking action is important.
Abuse is never right, there is no excuse. You, your mum and your siblings deserve to live in peace and safety.
Lastly, you ARE doing the right thing.
P.S. Can you call the teacher you were going to talk to after the holidays? Or someone else you trust? It can be schoolmate; just someone who will believe you and have your back if you start to lose courage.
M
Malachi4U
Guest
Do you have 9-1-1 emergency phone numbers in England?
Next is your dad Catholic? Does he know Jesus?
If he is Christian I suggest you go to your priest. If he is Protestant I suggest you go to your preacher. Talk with the clergy and provide the pictures. Then have the clergy meet with your father and the entire family together. Make your father publically vow that if he does not change then the clergy will turn him into the police. Make your father commit to counselling for the problem too.
As a father myself of 14 years I can say I have sinned too. But when I found Jesus in the Catholic Church I have tried to change my ways. Through God all things are possible. Give God a try first. He founded the Catholic Church to be His visible body on earth to help with this kind of problem.
The police do not solve family problems. They just arrest and stop the abuse TEMPORARALY. Call them only if you do not think the Priest or Protestant clergy can help.
Pray!
I will pray for you too.
Next is your dad Catholic? Does he know Jesus?
If he is Christian I suggest you go to your priest. If he is Protestant I suggest you go to your preacher. Talk with the clergy and provide the pictures. Then have the clergy meet with your father and the entire family together. Make your father publically vow that if he does not change then the clergy will turn him into the police. Make your father commit to counselling for the problem too.
As a father myself of 14 years I can say I have sinned too. But when I found Jesus in the Catholic Church I have tried to change my ways. Through God all things are possible. Give God a try first. He founded the Catholic Church to be His visible body on earth to help with this kind of problem.
The police do not solve family problems. They just arrest and stop the abuse TEMPORARALY. Call them only if you do not think the Priest or Protestant clergy can help.
Pray!
I will pray for you too.
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