What I am understanding from what you have written, does not sound like an answer, but criticism. You recognize a lack of practice, and experience, and regard the interpretation of The Church, to be askew from what is meant by Jesus’ words. Nonetheless, you give nothing to say, what would correct such matters.
What is the secret: what is the key; what work do you prescribe?
As I have repeatedly said, elsewhere if not here, is that each and every one is made in the image and likeness of God. So, what does that mean? Ask as often as you remember: “Who am I” or better,“What am I.” You will find that your identification with things and eventually your false ideas of yourself will fade out until only what is True about you is left.
Experiences tend to be personal.
Yes. But what is it about you that is impersonally true?
Jesus taught, that … It is through these, and other, experiences that Jesus’ words are lived through what he as a member of The Godhead, gave to us through scripture.
And your evidence that I do not do these things is?
The whole of the mass, it is an experience. It is a living out of what Jesus taught. The scriptures make this evident. Jesus provided The Apostles after his Ressurrection, with the authority to begin his church: when he breathed upon them, as his Father breathed life into Adam. After Jesus’ Ascension, The Holy Ghost descended upon The Blessed Virgin Mary, and The Apostles, Pentecost, and therefore, what is recognized as the origin of The Church.
This is a very wonderful beleif and practice untill you see further, and you may even then continue it. Why not? It is serving youperfectly well. So don’t take what I am saying as applying to you right now. Maybe later, ll!
You speak about seeing a “medium”, and listening.
The only medium I ever witnessed was my sister. Scared the bejeebees out of me! She quite though, thank goodness. No good lies in that realm, as far as I’m concerned!
This sounded contrary to loving God,
You have, because of your particular predeliction due to your training, a very limited range of hearing and interpreting. That is why I continually advocate the art of critical thinking. Where and how did you learn what you know, about anything? Was the source reliable, or did you simply deem it so through peer approval or habit or ignorance of other ways? There is much to be considered in this area, but you nor anyone will do it till you are ready to see something else. and more. I was perfectly happy in my Catholicism until it started to not match my experience in terms of “spiritual” insight.
The First Commandment. Your view of the mass, and what is taught from God’s word, to me is sounding incredibly shallow, arrogant, and judgemental and still, you provide nothing in the way of an answer.
I was very well versed in Catholic theology. There is nothing shallow or judgmental I have to say about those things. In fact, my Mentor composed perhaps one of the most beautiful Latin/English masses I have ever heard. I loved listening to it. I am only saying that due to the heavily symbolic nature of all that, the ordinary parishioner may not be prepared, as I was not, for a deeply transformative experience and will have to go elsewhere for information and guidance, as I did. That was a great disappointment and sadness for me.
There is no secret to be kept concerning Jesus.
Not if you look beyond the veils of symbolism. As Maurice Nicoll pointed out, the parables, as do many teaching modalities, have three levels at least. So does all the teaching of the Church, but it has become obscured for some reason, as far as I can tell.
The work involved to understand: what Jesus teaches, it is more than provided through a book. It is provided through the mass. It is provided by The Holy Ghost, whom cuts effectively through “the mind”, and our own colored glasses, our own psychology if you will. It is provided, experientially, through communion with the angels, and the saints, and through The Eucharist, Jesus as The Bread of Life. Your apparent rejection of this, it is recognized as a severe penalty to be cut away from Jesus’ life, and the life he gives us through the sacrament of The Eucharist.
As I maintain, that stance is absolutely wonderful and necessary for you and merits your practice and devotion. That is just fine. I just see it differently now, in a more wonderful and encompassing way. But that is from my standpoint.
You sound like you have been deeply deceived, and given your pearls to swine. It is a very great sadness, and a deep wound to the body of Christ.
It is very strange that yousay that, because a common outcry from many who have seen what I have is "
I have not been decieved! 
We have to remember that timing is different for everyone. I am only telling my story for those who might resonate with it. I have no agenda for convincing you or changing your mind. And I do not wish for you to question your Faith. This is only about how I found a way away from belief into something much more solid. It is inevitable, and yet it is not something that can be “switched on,” though work may be done to become receptive. Think of all the work the Saints did! They are remarkably wonderful examples.