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jlc2k2
Guest
I had a family name that I wanted to use. It probably wouldn’t gave truly been a dealbreaker for me if there was good reason not to use it but it was important to me.
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jlc2k2
Guest
We’ve definitely learned more and do better now. I’m sure we’ll continue to learn more and do better in the future. NFP - Catholic style - was just never an issue for us. Hard as it may be to believe, not every non-Catholic feels that artificial birth control is a necessary thing in their lives.
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rcwitness
Guest
No, not destined to have problems. But more potential to have obstacles.
I think a respecting and loving non-Catholic is much better than a non-practicing Catholic, as my own Marriage can testify to.
I think a respecting and loving non-Catholic is much better than a non-practicing Catholic, as my own Marriage can testify to.
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TC3033
Guest
Maybe…depends on the couple.
There are definitely individuals on the board that disagree with you.
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rcwitness
Guest
No way! Lol
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Hoosier-Daddy
Guest
To be fair. Everyone is destined.to have problems. Everyone. Even two Catholics who agree on everything so much they say the rosary in union before bed. It is just generally easier to solve these life issues if you are on the same page theologically
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Zzyzx_Road
Guest
I’ll just leave this fine site here:
http://whyimcatholic.com
Many excellent conversion stories there.
http://whyimcatholic.com
Many excellent conversion stories there.
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TC3033
Guest
No disagreement here.
IDK, maybe for some people…hasn’t been much of an issue in our n=1 experience.
I just find it strange when some posters say this…this…and this will happen and we haven’t really experienced any of it.
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SunshineGrandma
Guest
I married a non-Catholic who promised many things while dating and during our engagement.
Twenty-six years later and it’s been very, very difficult. I don’t recommend it and neither does my husband.
Twenty-six years later and it’s been very, very difficult. I don’t recommend it and neither does my husband.
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TC3033
Guest
That’s tough to hear.
That’s one thing we can’t do when it comes to “mixed” marriages, that’s make promises before getting married.
Neither my wife or I made promises to each other about our changing our faith prior to marriage. She respects mine, and I respect hers. I can’t say that anything in our marriage that has been difficult has really been attributed to Catholic vs non-Catholic. When we hear stories about how “mixed” couples say if they had to do it over again they would, or don’t recommend it we’re just really taken back as that hasn’t been the case with us at all.
That’s one thing we can’t do when it comes to “mixed” marriages, that’s make promises before getting married.
Neither my wife or I made promises to each other about our changing our faith prior to marriage. She respects mine, and I respect hers. I can’t say that anything in our marriage that has been difficult has really been attributed to Catholic vs non-Catholic. When we hear stories about how “mixed” couples say if they had to do it over again they would, or don’t recommend it we’re just really taken back as that hasn’t been the case with us at all.
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QwertyGirl
Guest
I can’t imagine allowing religious differences with my spouse to interfere with the well-being of my marriage. My husband feels the same way. Something tells me these marriages have unpleasant issues which would have surfaced, regardless of religious mix.
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SunshineGrandma
Guest
If the children are being raised as practicing Catholics and the non-Catholic spouse does not interfere in any way, that is a very good situation.
The Catholics I know married to non-Catholics (and I know quite a few) have chosen to raise their children as nominal Catholics for a variety of reasons. I know of at least two families that didn’t want to stress one religion over the other because they didn’t want to upset the non-Catholic grandparents.
There are more than just two people in a marriage.
The Catholics I know married to non-Catholics (and I know quite a few) have chosen to raise their children as nominal Catholics for a variety of reasons. I know of at least two families that didn’t want to stress one religion over the other because they didn’t want to upset the non-Catholic grandparents.
There are more than just two people in a marriage.
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Legend
Guest
This crossed my mind, too! It sounded, from the beginning, that he didn’t like to ‘have’ to do things. That might have been what attracted him to RCIA, and the catholic church in general, at first…doing something that his parents didn’t want him to do!
Of course, there is a lot more to Catholicism, and, for that matter, with Methodism. He needs to learn to love and respect God, and go to church for His sake…not parents, a fiancée,…anyone! He’s far from there, now, and probably not marriage material.
Off hand, I’d say he’s simply not ready to get married to anyone, for any reason, in any church! The sooner you break up with him, the sooner you-and he-will heal. God Bless!
Of course, there is a lot more to Catholicism, and, for that matter, with Methodism. He needs to learn to love and respect God, and go to church for His sake…not parents, a fiancée,…anyone! He’s far from there, now, and probably not marriage material.
Off hand, I’d say he’s simply not ready to get married to anyone, for any reason, in any church! The sooner you break up with him, the sooner you-and he-will heal. God Bless!
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jvickers
Guest
I finally was - at 39. People who are in college or early 20s probably are not. At least, probably not both of them. Compound that with the mitigating circumstances involved in this case, and I would say delaying marriage is a good idea until the couple susses out this enormous issue.
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oldgraymare2
Guest
Hi TC,
I know that you and I have posted together before, and we share the same view points.
I’m Catholic and my husband is Jewish.
We don’t have issues with matters of faith.
When it comes to our differences, it’s due to things that other couples deal with, as well–those kinds of annoyances that everyone deals with–habits that annoy each other, and so on.
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Gilly_flower
Guest
He loves you, you love him, and good men are hard to find. How will you feel years from now if you don’t marry him and don’t ever find another “perfect” spouse?
None of us knows the future, so if you love him enough to marry him, without expectations of his conversion, you should do so.
He has attended classes and decided that Catholicism isn’t for him and that is honest.
He may change his mind in coming years, he may not.
But only you can judge if he is a good enough man to share your life with, as he is, right now…or how much you might regret a life spent alone if you never meet anyone else.
Don’t let strangers on the internet influence you either way.
None of us knows the future, so if you love him enough to marry him, without expectations of his conversion, you should do so.
He has attended classes and decided that Catholicism isn’t for him and that is honest.
He may change his mind in coming years, he may not.
But only you can judge if he is a good enough man to share your life with, as he is, right now…or how much you might regret a life spent alone if you never meet anyone else.
Don’t let strangers on the internet influence you either way.
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Legend
Guest
It seems as if he changed his mind about being a Methodist because of his parents expectation, about being a Catholic because of the expectations of his fiancée and her family, and who knows what he wants right now. He should grow up, and decide what he wants for himself, before marrying anyone!
And, the OP shouldn’t tie herself down to any man, until he grows up and decides what he wants!
Yes, these are anonymous forums, and shouldn’t be the end-all or be-all for anything! Of course, we don’t know the whole story. But, until this boy grows up, it’s not time for marriage. Nor should his fiancée tie herself to the expectations of things that may never happen. What if, before the wedding, he decides that marriage isn’t for him? What if the same happens after the marriage???
From what I can understand, with the info that’s been given, this man isn’t ready for marriage…and may never be! True, we’re only on a forum, but the OP did turn to us. And, I can only share what I think is best.
OP, just think this over. You are the only one who knows all that has happened. You have our opinions. Decide, based on what you know about this man, this situation, and what we (and more qualified people)have said. If you haven’t questioned any qualified people, start doing so NOW, beginning with your priest. Best wishes and…
God Bless!
And, the OP shouldn’t tie herself down to any man, until he grows up and decides what he wants!
Yes, these are anonymous forums, and shouldn’t be the end-all or be-all for anything! Of course, we don’t know the whole story. But, until this boy grows up, it’s not time for marriage. Nor should his fiancée tie herself to the expectations of things that may never happen. What if, before the wedding, he decides that marriage isn’t for him? What if the same happens after the marriage???
From what I can understand, with the info that’s been given, this man isn’t ready for marriage…and may never be! True, we’re only on a forum, but the OP did turn to us. And, I can only share what I think is best.
OP, just think this over. You are the only one who knows all that has happened. You have our opinions. Decide, based on what you know about this man, this situation, and what we (and more qualified people)have said. If you haven’t questioned any qualified people, start doing so NOW, beginning with your priest. Best wishes and…
God Bless!
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Gilly_flower
Guest
What an extraordinary, and arrogant assumption to make about someone you have never met. And what potentially life-ruining advice…
And then that insouciant God Bless! at the end, as a sign off…
THIS is the perfect example of why you need to ignore strangers (except me, of course!), examine your heart and have a proper talk about your future with your fiancé.
Anything else is merely meddling (dare one even say troublemaking?) hot air…
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