My friend's GF (Wiccan) (also annoying) needs a place to stay for a month

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tuscany said:
Just a thought…

Why can’t SHE stay at her boyfriend’s house,
and HE move in with YOU for the month ?
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Now THERE’S a good idea!

To the OP: Have they asked you if she can stay with you? I wasn’t sure from your post, if you are just thinking ahead or if they have already asked if she can stay with you.

The problem is not just the witchcraft but the opposite-gender stuff. What if she tells your friend that you made a pass at her? This could get messy, very messy. Just say “No.”
 
It’s far from an ideal situation, but were I the OP, I’d take her in if she truly has nowhere else to go.

But I’d be explicit about laying down rules about not bringing her Wicca practices into your home, and I would be particularly careful about maintaining space in terms of sleeping, bathing and changing.
 
nurseryworker said:
There is a reason she is being kicked out of her dorm room. What makes you think your home will be not be subject to the behaviour that got her kicked out of her room?
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He said that she is being kicked out for the Christmas break, IE the school closes the dorms during Christmas. This has nothing to do with her personally.
 
Would Jesus turn down an idol worshiping Roman? Even more so because people back then understood that idol worship is actually worshiping demons.

Just lay down some ground rules. Just don’t invite her if you feel that you will lust.
 
You could offer to store her stuff and help her get a bus ticket home (or even a plane ticket… depending on when she flies, sometimes airfare is cheaper). Or, like another poster said, offer to let her boyfriend stay with you and she stay at her boyfriend’s place. I don’t think letting a person of the opposite gender stay on your couch is a good idea–there are too many potential problems and complications beyond lust and the near occasion of sin (some of which could be bad news for either of you). Put it this way (affordability of going home aside), if you were her father, what would you want done?

Good luck!
 
Well, since August she knew she would need a place to stay after exams end in December. I can’t see how its your responsibility to let her stay with you. How come her boyfriend can’t let her stay with him? She is an adult, she should go talk to her RA and maybe they can help. International students usually can’t go home either but campuses have places for them to stay during break. She needs to act more responsibily, how could she not know the dorms close in December? 🤷
 
datritle said:
what kind of catholic ARE you?!?!?!?!?!

i say Christ would let her stay. so should you
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Christ would have the spiritual resources to deal with the repercussions of this kind of invitation. Not everyone has the spiritual stability and maturity of Christ, in fact, no one else does.

This could be an invitation to problems that anyone, but Christ, would be unable to deal with. We are called to show prudential judgement, not “rush in where even angels fear to tread.”

Christ fulfilled a mission on earth that only he could, anyone else would have failed miserably.

Your advice is rash and potentially very problematic. The fact that you are using a “dare” tactic, i.e., “what kind of Catholic are you,” shows irresponsibility on your part.

In short, the poster is not Christ and must make choices based upon good judgement, not bravado or pretense.
 
Carina20 said:
Well, since August she knew she would need a place to stay after exams end in December. I can’t see how its your responsibility to let her stay with you. How come her boyfriend can’t let her stay with him? She is an adult, she should go talk to her RA and maybe they can help. International students usually can’t go home either but campuses have places for them to stay during break. She needs to act more responsibily, how could she not know the dorms close in December? 🤷
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Every college I’ve known doesn’t close ALL the dorms. They leave one or more open for students who can’t go home (e.g. international students).

They certainly don’t make every student move all their stuff out, and then back in January.

Sounds fishy.

God Bless
 
Bryan77 said:
Forgive me if this is the wrong place to ask this.

Anyways, I’m in a strange predicament. I got put on the spot just now, where my friend’s girlfriend who is a witch (My friend is a practicing Catholic) is going to be kicked out of her dorms for the Christmas break. I live on my own, and I have a comfy couch, and normally I wouldn’t mind letting a friend stay over. But I just feel weird about this. Mostly because she is annoying, and I don’t think I can take a whole month living with her. but also because she is wiccan. I will not allow any witchcraft to be practiced in my home (for obvious reasons) I don’t know how practical it would be to forbid someone from practicing their religion for a month. (especially without angering the other person, and doing it anyways out of spite, or simply in secret) If I was in her situation, and I was forbidden to pray, or practice my religion in any way, I would find somewhere else (or live on the street if I have to).

So I don’t know what to do. She has no money to go back home for the break, and she already asked all her other friends, and she can’t find a place to stay. I know the Christian thing to do would be to help someone out in a situation like that. I just don’t know if I can do it. She is so annoying. And I will not allow any witchraft in my home. Yet I feel like I’m being put on the spot. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t talked to my friend yet.

One thing I might add, she may be annoying, but (from what I’ve seen) she seems to be a good person. We also have similar political beliefs (strongly pro life and stuff) so its not like we can’t be civil or anything. I just can’t stand how much she talks about dumb stuff. I feel like a bad person for saying that, but I’m just being honest.
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Practicing magic is just one small aspect of Wiccan spiritual practices. If you’re so inclined to offer her a place to stay…just ask she not perform ‘magic’ while staying with you.
 
nurseryworker said:
I’ve told my own mother she couldn’t stay with me. I would have no problems telling my friend I had no room for his witch girlfriend. There is a reason she is being kicked out of her dorm room. What makes you think your home will be not be subject to the behaviour that got her kicked out of her room? Whoever asked you (witch gf or your friend), simply tell them no, you can’t put her up. You aren’t obligated to explain further. You might feel guilty for a while (I certainly have) but feelings are transitory.
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Colleges kick out all students over long breaks.
 
Peter_Plato said:
In short, the poster is not Christ and must make choices based upon good judgement, not bravado or pretense.
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I don’t want to put words into your mouth, but for clarity’s sake - are you suggesting that we imitate Christ only when it is convenient for us to do so? Because it is hardly ever convenient! 🙂
 
If you were to say she can stay there as long as she doesn’t practice magic or witchcraft she might be offended and think that you misunderstand her and her beliefs. Of course she is going to say she would not practice witchcraft since a wicca doesn’t term what she practices to be out and out witchcraft. The fact that she has a boyfriend who is Catholic makes me think she is very good at convincing a Catholic that being a wicca is not much different than being a Christian and that she is “spiritual” and believes in basically the same things (peace, love, etc.)

I actually wonder why your friend would choose her for a girlfriend given that you have described him as a practicing Catholic. They are “unevenly yoked”.

There is no way that you can tell someone who is coming to live in your home not to be who that are. What a Catholic may see as witchcraft or pagan practices in his home, a wicca will see as just being spiritual. Since she is described as annoying, it is likely to add strive to the environment.

This is Advent and the time for* you* to prepare for the coming of Christmas. This and the Christmas season is your holy season. Your home should be Christ centered at this time even more than others.

To your friend’s girlfriend, this is Christmas already and it is a season that she more than likely believes to have been stolen from those of her beliefs *by *Christians. This is going to be an issue in the home if she was to stay there. (I think you are wise enough not to allow her to, though.) She’s going to see you practicing your religion or enjoying the Christian aspects of these seasons as you demanding she not practice her religion while you flaunt yours, even though it’s your home and your right. At the very least she will start conversations with you about the meaning of Christmas that might be upsetting to you.

I’ve already stated what I think. It’s a bad idea - for many reasons. I just wanted to comment that I don’t see the fact that she is a wicca as something that you can make any easier on you by asking her to basically forgo her spiritual practices for a month. If you needed a place to stay for a month and the person you thought might put you up said, “Just don’t pray,” how would you feel and what would you do? It’s kinder to just say, “I’m sorry, it’s not possible for her to stay her.” The kindest thing to do, of course, is let them know ASAP so that they can work out other alternatives.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I don’t want to put words into your mouth, but for clarity’s sake - are you suggesting that we imitate Christ only when it is convenient for us to do so? Because it is hardly ever convenient! 🙂
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Our responsibility is not to “imitate” Christ as in do our best to put forth “our” rendition of Christ. In reality, it is to be moved and transformed by Christ, through the Holy Spirit. To the extent that we fully participate with him in that endeavor, then we have no business putting ourselves at risk, needlessly. If it is Christ in us, then all things are possible, but without Him, none are.

The question for the OP is not what Christ would do, it is what Christ is capable of doing in and through him. If it is not actually Christ moving him, then he could be setting himself up for difficulty. It is a question of spiritual formation and readiness, not setting oneself up in a situation they have no business being in.

I think the appropriate parable, here, is the one about the king going out to battle.

Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? (Luke 14:31)

If an individual does not see the difference between trying to “imitate” Christ with their own resources and actually having been called, sanctified and moved by Christ to act, then perhaps there is a lack of spiritual maturity that should serve as a precaution about getting in over one’s head. Truly “imitating” Christ does not mean we are called to the reckless abandon of wisdom and prudential judgement. To counsel someone to take risks beyond their potential is unwise.
 
Make a donation to a homeless shelter and give her a map on how to get there.
 
How good of a friend is he? I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does. If he’s just a casual video game or drinking buddy that’s one thing. But if you were getting married tomorrow and he would be a contender for best man…that’s another. There are some friends in my life that I would do anything for, because they are like family to me, and you put yourself out for family. If he’s the brother you never had then yeah, you might want to let her stay. You don’t have to and you certainly aren’t obligated, but it still. Take a deep breath and sit down with your friend and the girlfriend to lay down some ground rules and all get on the same page.

If he’s just a casual buddy then just be unavailable. Its a good thing to bend over backwards for the people who are there for us the most. If we all can’t rely on each other than life is going to be long, lonely, and scary.

I guess I have a lot of sympathy for her. I ended up staying on someone’s couch my freshman year of college when the dorms closed because I didn’t want to spend a month at home with my abusive stepfather.
 
If you have the means to do so, you could offer to loan your friend the money it would take for her to travel home. Bus tickets are often quite reasonable.
 
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