My girlfriend reads 50 Shades of Grey

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I can’t quote with my phone ,but if her standards arnt the same now before possible marriage then there’s a big chance they won’t be afterwards .
Escapism in the form of porn is just plain sad ,and detrimental to a good solid relationship in marriage .
God bless.
 
Can someone explain to me what all this discussion about age on this site is about?
Sorry if I offended someone by my question. I didn’t know it would lead to a discussion like this.
 
We get minors here seeking help with porn and masturbation on a regular basis, and a lot of us think it’s inappropriate for an adult to be discussing sexual topics with a minor. One poster said that he PM’ed with a minor about help for masturbation and most of us think that was really inappropriate and dangerous.

It’s not your fault that the thread took a bad turn. You and your gf are adults.
 
All right ladies and gents let’s get this thread back on track. Fifty Shades, utter garbage by literary standards. Writing is terrible and is tantamount to softcore pornography.

Sure it’s just fiction but it still opens up oneself to the occasion of sin.

@OP.
Encourage your woman to read something better. Preferably something with a better message then whatever the message is in 50 Shades. I’m not a romance literature fan, so it would be hard for me to suggest a substitute that is actually good, but I’m sure somebody else here on CAF can suggest a romance novel with a far better plot and greater message.
 
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IdaCatholic:
I’m not a fan. But here is the thing. I think CAF has the same content most days.
Seriously. For a Catholic site, this place has some very graphic discussions of all manner of sexual acts.
I took that as meaning the same questions asked and answered over and over–“same content.”
 
I took that as meaning the same questions asked and answered over and over–“same content.”
I can only imagine how many different threads about masturbation alone would pop up in a search
I would really like to see a ban on certain topics like porn and masturbation. Simply direct the user to a FAQ and lock the thread.

Or just an automatic reply" If your question is about masturbation, there are thousands of past threads to search from. Have a good day!"
 
Explicit, sadomasochistic pornography
This leads to a bigger question.
What actually constitutes pornography?. If I am watching a PG-13 or R rated movie and there is a riskay scene, maybe brief nudity, is it pornographic? If I’m in the Vatican and there is nude art or sculptures, is that pornographic? Where is the boundary where something is just maybe riskay in art, literature, film, to being all out pornography?
 
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From the Catechism:

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2354.htm

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.
 
I agree the Catechism definition is pretty vague and could encompass all kinds of works accepted as having significant artistic value. Sex is part of human life and it’s a bit unrealistic to expect humans to never depict it, suggest it or write about it at all.

The legal definition of obscenity/ pornography in USA is usually some work that is made for the primary purpose of sexually stimulating the viewer or reader of the work, and thus lacks significant artistic value. One might also make an exception if the work has historic, anthropological or other scholarly value and is being approached in a scholarly way. For example, someone who is researching Chinese culture might be interested to see examples of what was considered pornographic in China in the 1700s.

I think when it comes to individuals viewing or reading something, as always we need to look at the reason they’re doing it and how they’re affected by it. If someone is reading a book as source material for a scholarly paper, that’s way different from reading a book to get yourself sexually aroused. If a movie is actually focused on telling a story about medieval knights and there happens to be a 2 minute sex scene in the middle of the film, it’s probably easy enough for most viewers to ignore the scene or skip over it. If on the other hand the sex scenes were 80 percent of the film, then it’s probably not something you want to watch.

The reason why 50 Shades of Grey is considered pornography is largely because the writing is terrible and because it came out of the world of fanfic, which has a huge porn subculture of people writing, drawing and generally making art to excite themselves and other people in the fandom.
 
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Gosh, I hate those. Especially the “Did I Masturbate?” ones where the OP goes into great detail about their “accidental” sexual adventure. 🤢🤮
 
For example, someone who is researching Chinese culture might be interested to see examples of what was considered pornographic in China in the 1700s.
That’s interesting you bring that up.
When I was in college we had a class topic on Pompeii and some of the slides in the presentation were actually what is believed to have been a brothel in Pompeii and it had all of this obscene artwork. Depicting sex is by far nothing new. Sure with new technology it is different and unfortunately easier to obtain and much more explicit but you are right, it does have a historical context.
 
Are these books actually pornography?
If they’re arousing, then yes. I didn’t find it arousing at all. Like I stated upthread, it’s terrible, terrible writing.

The issue raises some deeper questions, however.

I do NOT recommend looking to CAF for Catholic advice on healthy marital sexuality, (don’t worry - I came to this thread in flame-proof suit 😉), but keep in mind that there’s been widespread criticism of both the books and movies for their glamorization of violence against women. Dirty Dozen List 2021 - NCOSE

If you think you have a future with this woman, now might be a good time to converse about male-female roles in a marriage.
 
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