My husband won’t go to our sons wedding. I think this is the last straw for me

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eliana said:
it wasn’t a big deal
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it is, it means that your son’s attraction to woman has being turned towards men, as long as he feels atracted to men he will have to figth the urge to sin, the feelig itself is not his fault and is not a sin but actualy going towards a men in a romantic way its a mortal sin.
eliana said:
stayed with a friend for two nights
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That is very very bad, if you son is straight you should not worry but if he came out and he’s asking to stay with a friend for 2 nigths?! do you realise what migth have happened? you should not have allowed that as a parent.
eliana said:
My son has been dating a black man
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That is bad, you son cant do this, a gay relantionship goes against the reason why God gave us genitials in the first place.
eliana said:
wants to take us to a priest which I was happy to do, except my son is an atheist.
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GO to a priest as soon as possible, and the fact that your sons is an atheist is even worst, you had the chance to help him when he was 16 but now that he is 26 you dont have the authority to tell him to stop.
eliana said:
My son expressed his interest in adopting babies in the future!
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NO! a child NEEDS a father figure and a mother figure, 2 man and 1 child is going to result in the child growing up without a mother figure and that is NOT healthy at for the child or the gay couple at all.
eliana said:
e my son be happy even if that means he follows a homosexual lifestyle.
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You son’s soul is in great risk and you should NOT be happy with itm pray for your son every day, this type of problem can be solved.
eliana said:
Then she threatened to get my husband to separate from me
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DONT GO, you love you husband and the bound you have with him is 10x stronger then the mistake your son is making, even if your husband wanted to go you should NOT go, going would be showing support for an terrible decision that your son is making, your husband is rigth on not going, please dont destroy your relationship with him becuse of a simulation of a wedding, your love for your husband and his love for you is your son, he came becuse you both love each other and now he is threatening your marrige, dont stop loving your son but dont come either, the reason why you are not coming is becuse you love your son and you cant support that.
 
Irishmom2 said:
The OP also hasn’t responded to this thread in 14 hours. Posted, answered a couple of responses right away and hasn’t been back.
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As I see it, she already had her mind made up on the gay issue and was asking for advice on her relationship with her husband.
 
I have a question, how do you tell your child… I love you but not who you are, and have him/her still know you actually mean it when you say you love him/her?
 
eliana said:
My husband has begun sleeping on the couch. I miss him, but he’s not the man I knew.
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Are you so sure that your husband is the one who changed? I would feel utterly betrayed if I married in the Catholic Church only to have my wife throw me under the bus for not supporting a lifestyle of sin for our son.

Your husband wants the best for your son by not encouraging a lifestyle of hedonism, and he is shamed to the point where he feels unwelcome in your own bedroom. I think the only marriage you should focus on right now is your own.
 
annad347 said:
I have a question, how do you tell your child… I love you but not who you are, and have him/her still know you actually mean it when you say you love him/her?
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I think the question is a bit off. Rather than, I love you but don’t love who you are, I would say: I love you but some actions are wrong.
Kids hear this from parents all the time. When they are angry or defiant, the words may not immediately penetrate, but they have been spoken and when the child has calmed down and reviews the words, the truth becomes more easily accessible.
 
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jeannetherese said:
I would say: i love you but some actions are wrong.
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Actions? Action… like being able to love someone a another person is wrong, you are not even able to love a child? (Refering to someone who said it was wrong, sad or should discourage her son from adopting.)

So how do you say to your child I love you but how you love is wrong, who you love is wrong, your ability to love is wrong… and have him/her understand that you really love them?
 
annad347 said:
I have a question, how do you tell your child… I love you but not who you are, and have him/her still know you actually mean it when you say you love him/her?
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Being gay is not “who he is”. Same sex attraction may be a part of someone’s life but the idea that it’s “who we are” is an absurd lie that many people have taken in without much critical thought. Being a straight man isn’t who I am and I don’t define myself by that narrow metric. Who we are is out thought processes, our personality, our way of looking at and getting through life, our sense of humour, and our thoughts and memories. Yeah, who we are attracted to is a part of that, but it’s not the main part.

Saying that “you don’t love who I am” is just a cheap way to end an argument by making it seem like you hate the person rather than the fact that their behaviour is wrong.
 
AdamP88 said:
Being gay is not “who he is”.
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It’s actually other people who makes being gay part of who a person is… not the gay person.

How you live is a part of who you are inside.
 
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annad347 said:
Actions? Action… like being able to love someone a another person is wrong, you are not even able to love a child? (Refering to someone who said it was wrong, sad or should discourage her son from adopting.)
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Romantic love isn’t that exalted.
 
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Yeah, I wouldn’t go to the wedding either. I would love my son, but no, I cannot stand against God.
 
annad347 said:
Actions? Action… like being able to love someone a another person is wrong, you are not even able to love a child? (Refering to someone who said it was wrong, sad or should discourage her son from adopting.)

So how do you say to your child I love you but how you love is wrong, who you love is wrong, your ability to love is wrong… and have him/her understand that you really love them?
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Of course you are able to love another person; indeed, you should love everyone, (adults as well as children) as we are all children of God. The church distinguishes between loving others and engaging in acts which are contrary to the will of God.
It would be a misrepresentation of God’s teaching to say that we are forbidden to love. I think you might be confusing love and sex.
It would be an act of love to encourage children to engage in sex in a manner consistent with the teachings of the Church- the Church which was established by the second person of the Blessed Trinity. We can love anybody and everybody without having having sex with them.
 
I think a definition of love is “willing the good of another”.
So, you can love your gay child, but want what is best for them, not what is going to harm them.
A Gay person could love children, and want the best for them, which would mean being raised by a mom and dad.
 
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Somehow, people have no problem intervening if their child is destroying themselves with drugs or alcohol, but when it comes to risking their immortal soul, we just wish them the pleasure of their indulgence and “to be happy.” At what point did ANY of us ever derive actual happiness in doing something that is not our Lord’s will? Has that ever happened in recorded history?
 
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