My husband won’t go to our sons wedding. I think this is the last straw for me

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VanitasVanitatum said:
I’m sorry to hear that. That sounds like the reaction of an incredibly bitter person. Hopefully the OP isn’t that bitter. But presuming your pessimistic stance that she is, what’s a better approach?
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Rebel isn’t the right word, but they will likely reject it.
VanitasVanitatum said:
It may or may not be helpful. Since we’re not mind-readers, we can’t ever know 100% what the best way to help is. But said that it actively reduced credibility. That’s an entirely different claim, and the one I was addressing. Given that this lady clearly already gives very little credibility to Church teaching, I’d find it unlikely that credibility is reduced further just by a little moral consistency.
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Just by looking at the personality and phrases used combined with past experience, you can kind of tell when something will not work. Credibility to the teachings is probably nonexistent, but I think being softer with the manner it is said can maybe make things more civil and might work more to a person softening in regards to the Church.
 
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Speaking as a non-believer who is comfortable with people believing and doing what they want as long as they are adult, able to choose freely and not harming others: why don’t you all just do what you want? Your husband can politely decline the invitation. You can joyfully accept it. Your son and his husband-to-be can be happy about you and sad about him.

When the children arrive you can decide what to do. You and your husband don’t have to do everything as a couple. Over time his views, or your views, may change. Not sure why you mentioned the ethnicity of your son-in-law to be.
 
But is it Church teaching that a same-sex couple may not adopt children? Ever?
 
Listen to your husband. Pray the rosary with him for your son. Your husband is right.
 
redbetta said:
Mam, don’t expect support for sin on a Catholic site.
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Anesti33 said:
Your husband is right.
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Anesti33 said:
A man pretending to marry another man is sacrilege–it is the simulation of a sacrament.
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Irishmom2 said:
But you obviously don’t accept the Church’s teaching. That is on you. But you can’t force your husband to believe something just because you believe it.
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My personal opinion is that the above posters are correct. Your husband is right in not approving of SS marriage which is a grave offense against God. AFAIK, homosexual activity has been listed as a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance and an abomination, and perhaps you should realize that this might be how your husband looks at it.
However, OTOH, I think that you are going to find a lot of Catholics even clergy who will tell you that it is OK to attend the wedding. The reason I say so, is because I receive an alumni magazine from a Catholic college every four months or so and they have a section in which they congratulate recently married alumni. There are pictures of the weddings and in most issues they have congratulations and photos of newly married SS couples. I often hear the phrase: Who are we to judge?
 
eliana said:
It was perfect because I’ve always wanted grandkids and to have my son be happy even if that means he follows a homosexual lifestyle.
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It’s perfect to see your son put his soul in danger?

Your son has the free will to decide what he will do with his life. But you shouldn’t be waltzing with joy to his sin.
 
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I agree with your message but would add we will pray for her and her family! 🙏 📿
 
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Ok, as a father of a daughter who claims to be trans, and had an elective double mastecomy at age 23 last year, I’ve some familiarity with such issues from a father’s perspective.

First off, when children reach the age of legal adulthood, we can’t control them, given. However, to in any way condone such a lifestyle, especially when your spouse will not, will ergo, cause marital discord.

I therefore must ask, as I would my wife, what your true priorities are, versus what God would expect them to be. Or, perhaps instead of “priorities,” we should say “allegiance.”

From my point of view with both my 29yo son, who is on the autistic spectrum and lives with us, but works in a warehouse dutifully and hard for his wages no less than 40 hours/week as he was raised to do, and with a so called “trans” daughter, I believe that once children reach legal age, our allegiances should return to our spouse from our children, if one should challenge the other.
I made it clear to my children what would happen if they ever hurt their mother before they reached legal age. I am as confident as I can be neither would ever. Nor would they ever be given just cause by her, I’ll readily admit.

But, there was a time before my ‘trans’ daughter was 18, those teen years in school, when I was hearing stuff that I totally opposed, harshly, while her mother was, IMO, too gentle in attempting correction. And now here that little girl that wore long hair, dresses, bows, etc., took naps on daddy’s (my) chest, has a beard, had her breasts removed, and has no clue. She has been forced to work and support herself because I demand that of my kids, no exceptions. Besides, if she’s such a man, it shouldn’t be a problem now should it? . . . .

Now, my daughter has indeed broken her father’s heart. My wife disagrees with what she is doing as much as I now, to an increasingly higher degree. Her heart is broken as well.

We won’t have grandchildren birthed naturally as it is supposed to be, almost guaranteed. Son we’re fairly sure is sterile, and daughter thinks she’s a son. . . .

I am not saying to not love your child. I am saying that sometimes we must simply take a stand. It appears your husband has. And what i hear in this post is, you’re ok with sacrificing that marriage to support your son’s disordered lifestyle.
 
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Maximian said:
This is a classic mistake. God does not need us to save Him from the world.
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If the goal is to help others using the virtue of prudence to figure which method is most agreeable whithin theconfines of the Church makes sense.
 
childinthefaith said:
I have news for her, if she sends a wedding invite to my home, and it is not her marrying a man as a “hetero” couple, I will box up the ashes after burning it, and send it back.
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It’s one thing to not condone your children’s actions and voice your objection, but this is just unnecessarily antagonistic. It’s more akin to how you’d treat your arch nemesis than your own flesh and blood. Geez.
 
childinthefaith said:
In the case of my son, had he ever uttered the words, “Dad I think, or I am, gay,” he’d have went to the hospital and I to jail for breaking his jaw. Me and my side of the family don’t put up with such. Wife can be as nice and polite as she wants, that’s her call. I state facts to my kids, not avoid issues.
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Break his jaw? You can’t state your displeasure without harming someone physically? That doesn’t sound like someone that is reacting with anything more than emotion.
 
I’m not too familiar with that fellow. Is there perhaps more than one troll on this thread? Because I have a hard time believing this is real.
 
I thought his post was an example of how not to follow the USCCB guidelines posted by @(name removed by moderator) :roll_eyes:
 
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