My in-laws are trying to convince my finance to become a baptist...

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Nicci:
I know, I should have just told her that… I just didn’t want to cause any more tension between us and I figured maybe if I just ignore her she would eventually stop. Why do baptists have such a big problem with catholics praying to Mother Mary or other saints? I know baptists say that only GOD should be honored but is there more to it as to why they are soooo against it?
Yes, their entire existence depends upon Catholicism being completely wrong. If we are right at all, they are completely in the wrong. Anything Catholic threatens their very existence. After hundreds of years of ingrained anti-Catholicism being the crux of their religion, there are plenty of modern Baptists who do not even see this. It nonetheless directly affects them through what their hear preached from the pulpit and talked about in social circles.

It could be worse; they could be SDA. :hmmm:
 
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HappyCatholic01:
You HAVE to let the person know what is acceptable and what isn’t. There is NOTHING wrong with letting someone know what you require in a marriage. if they take that as an ultimatum, there is NOTHING you can do about it, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it either.
True… I really didn’t feel that by me letting him know “our relationship MIGHT not work if we have different religions” that I was giving him an ultimadum… I said it in calm and soft way to him, in a sad but “I would still love you if you choose being a baptist but it would be hard” kinda way… I’ve made my point clear to him, “That I prefer us to be a family of the same religion…” Just cause I feel that’s the way it should be and I feel that we would have a more successful marriage. One minute he’ll agree that he wants to become a catholic and then the next minute his Mom will have a talk with him, then he feels so confused all over again!!! I know, I just know he REALLY wants become a catholic along with his family but his Mom puts things in his head and gets him thinking and comparing, like it’s competition of something…
 
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Nicci:
w…while I was pregnant I made the decision to renew my catholic faith and understanding.
It is admirable that you are both raising the child and you have decided to come back to the Church!
… so we can eventually get married in a catholic church and be a family of the same religion.
Best way to do it!
my fiance’s Mom …sometimes even tries to blackmale him (example: Since I did this for you then can you go church with us?),
She’s trying to assert power over him, and trying to show you who’s got “the power”. If you let her win…life’s will be rough…
I honestly don’t know if it’s jokingly or if she’s serious.
She’s not joking…she’s more than serious… She launched a personal war against you. You are a dire threat to her authority over her son.
The last straw was when one evening she invited us over for dinner, come to find that she set us up to meet with their pastor.
Its called “guerilla warfare”…
Out of respect I of course went along with it,
Better you suddenly get a migraine and left for home. Respect has nothing to do with it…they showed zero respect for you.
He told me that the baptist bible is the actual bible. He told me that everything catholics do and believe is wrong…
Same old nonsense they’ve been pandering for ages…yawn. Its their “only” justification for existing.
But I did know one thing for a fact, that it was wrong of him to do that, it was disrepectful of him to say those things to me when I was born and raised into the catholic religion. I just felt so offended, even if I tried so hard to not take it personal, I couldn’t help it… He didn’t have to talk about my religion so specificly…
It was wrong, the preacher man(?) knew it was wrong, and everyone else there knew it was wrong. Your “fiance” knew it was wrong, and should have stopped it before it even started.
Another incident happened just two nights ago… My fiance’s mom was about the leave our place and she said “We better go cause we have CHURCH (she said it in a hinting way to my finance, hinting him to go with them) tomorrow…” My fiance replied, “Oh, we have church tomorrow too…” then she said “OKAY! GO PRAY TO MOTHER MARY THEN!” in a loud and rude way…
Can they say it any other way? You said in another post that your MIL 2 B had been a Catholic. I kind of doubt that… Because unless she is a complete and insensitive boor, she knows better.
Once again I felt so offended, I didn’t wanto correct her because I felt if I did she might take it disrepectful of me to answer her back…
It is not “disrespectful” fo answer back…its called having a spine and standing up for yourself. If you fail to do it now, and your fiance fails to back you up… and you stay with that crew, get used to being a doormat, and abused. Because they’ll own you and they will know it.
My fiance feels so confused, he feels like he’s choosing sides.
HE IS SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE SIDES!!! He’s marrying you and making a lifetime commitment to YOU…not his mother. Besides, doesn’t a man or woman who marries “cleave” to the other and leaves his/her parents??? Thats how it is…and thats how its supposed to be.
He sometimes even says, “I just won’t have a religion so I can keep both of you happy…”
COP OUT!!! COP OUT!!! He needs to get a spine as well.
I just wish my fiance’s Mom could just leave him alone and make him decide on his own religion. I told him that it’s his choice but I also told him that our relationship might not work if we have different religions.
Good for you!! Your spine is maturing. But don’t you DARE convert and become a “baptist”!! You’ll never be happy and your life will be miserable.
Is it really true that a baptist bible is the actual bible?
No it isn’t the actual or original Bible. Please correct me here if I am wrong…but the “Latin Vulgate” was the original “Bible” as the translations of the latin, greek and aramic/hebrew books and letter were compiled. Were it not for the Catholic Church…there would not be a “Bible”
Is it wrong of me to feel so offended by my finance’s mom’s words and actions?
If you weren’t offended there would be something wrong with you. I would be more than be offended if I were in your shoes…

I know that some will disagree with me, but in matters such as this…the best defense is an offense, or its best to fight fire with fire… Several of the other posters had great suggestions as to readings of books and articles…

I’d like to make another suggestion: Put this thread up on your computer and have your fiance’ read each and every one of the responses… Maybe it will help.
 
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RobHom:
I’d like to make another suggestion: Put this thread up on your computer and have your fiance’ read each and every one of the responses… Maybe it will help.
Thanks Rob, I was actually debating if I should let him see this thread or not but he doesn’t even know that I’m a member of a catholic forum… I’m afraid if I let him see, he will be upset and wonder why I’m sharing our problem… But I definitely am considering showing him this thread…
 
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Nicci:
Thanks Rob, I was actually debating if I should let him see this thread or not but he doesn’t even know that I’m a member of a catholic forum… I’m afraid if I let him see, he will be upset and wonder why I’m sharing our problem… But I definitely am considering showing him this thread…
Nicci, I am truly happy that you accepted my post in the manner it was intended! I hoped that I did not come across mean or heavy handed. I am a “senior-citizen” now :bigyikes: and have a good bit of experience under my belt, unfortunately.

I spent “years” trying to appease family members on both sides, and frankly, though both my wife and I are Catholics…we found that you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time… so we decided that we would worry about us first. Its been far better since then.

As to letting him read this forum…only you can decide that. I think you need to ponder the issue then decide. But I think that if he truly loves you…he will not be offended. All you did was ask perfect strangers in an anonymous forum for their opinions. You divulged no personal information…so none of us knows either of you… But all the same, its up to you, and I wish you all the best in your life!!
 
Nicci said:
(From post 10) I also failed to mention that I think the main reason my MIL thinks so badly of the catholic religion is because she use to be a catholic herself and I guess it did her no good. She’s always like “You know, when I was a catholic, I didn’t know anything…”

(From post 20) Why do baptists have such a big problem with catholics praying to Mother Mary or other saints? I know baptists say that only GOD should be honored but is there more to it as to why they are soooo against it?

Nicci,

The problem here is that your MIL-intended is not an ordinary born-and-raised Baptist. You’re dealing with an ex-Catholic-and-now-saved-from-damnation Baptist. That’s often the hardest kind to reason with.

Full of self-assurance for abandoning what she now believes to be a heretical cult, she is now on a mission to save the rest of her family from the clutches of Satan. She’s already made up her mind against the Catholic Church, and she’s not about to let you try to confuse her with facts.

In my experience, this is a situation when the best defense is a good offense. For starters, have your had a chance to read what I wrote in post #10 on this thread?

I’m going to presume you’re still on speaking terms, so it’s time to start asking her exactly what she believes and why. When she explains, your stock answer should be “Hmmm. That’s interesting. I’ll have to think about that.” Then come over here and ask us about her issues. We’ll be glad to clarify things.

Because if you look carefully enough you’ll probably find holes in her beliefs that are big enough to drive a truck through. When you point them out (in a loving way) you’ll put her off balance and make her a lot less hostile to you.

God bless,
Nan
 
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RobHom:
As to letting him read this forum…only you can decide that. I think you need to ponder the issue then decide. But I think that if he truly loves you…he will not be offended.
Rob,
Yes, I did decide to let him read this forum and unfortunately it didn’t really help… Maybe in his mind it gave him a better understanding of where I’m coming from but it didn’t help as far as his decision… He wasn’t mad about me posting this but he was upset about what some people had to say… He said “Of course they would say that! They’re all catholic… Try posting that on a Christian Forum and they wouldn’t give you that kind of advice…” He gets so stressed about this subject (RELIGION)… I didn’t give him an ultimadum but I explained what I wanted for “US” and why, he doesn’t understand the importance of religion and why we should have a religion… He doesn’t understand why only now am I making this a big issue, I told him “Now that we have a little one I want to set a good example for him… I want us to be a family forever, I want raise our children together, I want us to grow old together!” I want our son to understand his religion and know god, in the long run I want our son to be faithful to his wife and ALWAYS be there for her and their children (if they have any)…

See, I came from a broken family (so did my fiance), my parents got divorced when I was 12, they didn’t set a good example for me + my siblings and I don’t want this pattern to continue (for me and my fiance and then for my son and his wife)… My Dad (came from a broken family too) never received his confirmation and my parents weren’t even married in church, they were kinda pressured into marriage because my Dad joined the military and he needed to add my mom as a dependant to support her along with me… I want to break this pattern, I want to set good example for my son and other children we may have…

Anyways, I dropped the subject and told him “You can’t keep ignoring this…” I will continue to go to catholic church with my son and I will bring my fiance along with me (if he wants to join us)… I will just pray about this for now, that’s about all I can do…
 
Get your fiance the free books (with free shipping) from the Catholic Home Study Service offered by Fr. Oscar Lukefahr.

amm.org/chss.htm

Begin with “We Believe - A Survey of the Catholic Faith” and then get “Christ’s Mother and Ours”.

God bless!
 
Hi Nicci,

Great thread. Hope you don’t mind my weighing in a bit late coming as I am.

I think you’ve received both some good advice and some less than good advice. Here’s mine, for what it’s worth.

Personally, I think you’ll do a whole lot better if you try looking at your future MIL in an entirely different light. She is your fiance’s mom, someone he truly loves, someone he’d love to have you also love, someone who is sincerely worried about the state of her son’s and grandson’s souls, and by association, she’s concerned with the state of your soul even if she knows that to say it in such direct terms would be offensive. It is a good thing that she cares for your (all of you) eternity, as we will each spend a much larger portion of our lives in the afterlife than in this world. So, it’s of much greater importance than what we get in the here and now.

So, how can you begin to deal with this situation in light of this new way of looking at things? How can you keep from wanting to assist her with a left hook dental extraction the next time she “disrespects” you? Begin to realize that she says these things because she really doesn’t know anything better about the Catholic Church. As you said, she doesn’t know due to her own failing. But pointing that out to her isn’t likely to win you friends or help you to influence anyone. Rather, if you don’t have the answer to the objections she raises, thank her for her concern. Tell her that she is helping you to realize just how much you have to learn about the faith you have chosen to follow and that you would like the opportunity to learn how the church responds to such concerns and get back to her. Then, do it. Look here for answers and GET BACK TO HER.

Consider it a personal catechism class, designed for you by the Holy Spirit, and delivered in the person of your dear Mother-In-Law. Ask your fiance’ to join you in your search for the truth, whatever it may be and where ever it is found. Ask your mother-in-law to talk faith with you by some simple ground rules that I know she will be happy to agree to and that any Catholic can faithfully follow as well. That you begin each discussion of Christianity with a prayer and that you each seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit to the Truth as taught by Christ Himself, leaving aside any concern for which of you is right, rather letting Christ himself be the foundation of all truth.

As Catholics, we firmly believe that the Church is the Fullness of the Truth brought to us by Christ. We believe that Faith and Reason are always meant to work hand in hand, so you cannot be asked to believe something that is against all reason. There are some things that are beyond reason (e.g. How can God be both 3 persons and yet only 1 God? a mystery of the Faith) but these mysteries are not directly contrary to reason.

Tell your fiance’ that you are sorry for getting so upset with him and his mother about the issue of religion, but you know that there is much you don’t know about Catholicism and you’ve been feeling put on the spot with little preparation to give an answer for your hope in Christ and his Church. Ask him if he might be willing to join you in learning more about the Catholic Church so that the two of you can determine for certain if it is correct to continue to raise your son in the faith. Truly, if your learning leads you away from the Church, even the Catechism would suggest you should follow your conscience, rather than obey against your reason and conscience. But, I don’t believe that if you study with an open heart, that you risk leaving this beautiful gift of God.

Check with your local parish and see if it’s too late to join the RCIA program, both of you attending together. I don’t know about your parish, but here at my parish, the first portion of the program isn’t necessarily billed as a conversion program, as much as an opportunity to learn about the faith. Many, perhaps most, do end up converting, but it is not a requirement that one intend to convert in order to attend, at least not in the early portion of the program.

This will give the two of you an opportunity to explore what the Catholic Church teaches. You’ve spent a lot of time not knowing the teachings and he’s going to be there while his mother brings you through a series of tests against the faith. It’s best that he also put some time into determining if his son is being led astray or towards a greater truth.

cont …
 
In the meantime, I concur with those who have suggested that you pray, most especially to Our Lady. She has a wonderful way of reintroducing us to Her Son in a quick and effective manner. If you can, I suggest trying to pray the Rosary as frequently as possible. To start, you may want to try on a weekly basis. Then try a portion of the Rosary each day (perhaps 1 decade / day), then work your way up to a Rosary each day while you’re working on learning your faith. If you can have him join you on Sunday’s, with your son present, this would be absolutely awesome.

They say that a family that prays together stays together. It’s true.

I wish you all the best as you face this challenge.

I’ve learned the best lessons about the Catholic Church in answer to questions put to me, so I know that the Holy Spirit is at work here. Just listen for the Good in where your future MIL is coming from.

God Bless and I’ll keep you in my prayers,

CARose
 
I forgot to mention the awesome website scripturecatholic.com and biblicalcatholic.com. Also, when you get hung up on something, don’t forget to check this website’s tracts. There is a lot of great material on the Internet and all you’d have to do is print some of it off. Don’t come off too strong though, or you may end up turning your fiance off… Don’t force him to read it, or he’ll think he won’t have any decision in the process and will probably resent it.

Good luck, and God bless.
 
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Nicci:
Rob,
" He gets so stressed about this subject (RELIGION)… I didn’t give him an ultimadum but I explained what I wanted for “US” and why, he doesn’t understand the importance of religion and why we should have a religion… He doesn’t understand why only now am I making this a big issue, I told him “Now that we have a little one I want to set a good example for him… I want us to be a family forever, I want raise our children together, I want us to grow old together!” I want our son to understand his religion and know god, in the long run I want our son to be faithful to his wife and ALWAYS be there for her and their children (if they have any)…

See, I came from a broken family (so did my fiance), my parents got divorced when I was 12, they didn’t set a good example for me + my siblings and I don’t want this pattern to continue (for me and my fiance and then for my son and his wife)… My Dad (came from a broken family too) never received his confirmation and my parents weren’t even married in church, they were kinda pressured into marriage because my Dad joined the military and he needed to add my mom as a dependant to support her along with me… I want to break this pattern, I want to set good example for my son and other children we may have…
Yes, it’s important for both parents to be the same religion, but it’s too late for that. That’s a decision you had to make before you had sex with this man and you can’t take that back now. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but these are the consequences of the decision that you made.

Let me tell you, it IS possible to raise your children in the Faith if you are the only Catholic parent, but it will take some agreements between the two parents. My Dad had no religion at all, but my parents had an agreement that me and my sister would be raised in the Faith and Dad wouldn’t interfere. My Dad NEVER has said a negative word about the Catholic Faith around me in my life, in fact he would take us back and forth to Sunday school classes and often drop us off at Mass if my mom couldn’t take us. We had a strong Catholic life in our extended family on my mom’s side which made all the difference in the world. My sister and I would never even think about walking away from the Church and my Dad’s lack of being Catholic did not harm our Catholic upbringing.

The same goes for my kids. DH was raised Baptist and we had an agreement when we got engaged that we would be married in the Church and the kids raised Catholic and he wouldn’t interfere with that. Our oldest is 8 years old and we have had no problems so far. (well, except for his mother who tries to convert them behind my back, but DH puts her in her place and keeps his end of the deal). Yes, it’s lonely because I take the kids to Mass alone, but it’s not an impossible situation.

Now things would be completely different if DH had a bad attitude towards religion in general. There’s no way that wouldn’t negatively affect my kids. And that is what will happen with your fiance if you keep pushing this issue on him. And the one who will pay the biggest price is your child who will grow up in a home with a parent that hates religion. The chances of your child picking up that same attiude in adulthood are pretty good.

I speak from experience because I have been in the exact situation as you for almost 12 years now. I pray every day for DH’s conversion and I know it will happen in God’s own time. I try the best I can to be a good Catholic and set an example for him. But I have never even informed him of my desire for him to convert until about 2 months ago. I kept it to myself all these years because I don’t want him to convert for my sake or to please me. I want him to convert because that’s what HE wants and needs.

The best you can do now is set some ground rules with your fiance. Make sure he will agree to support your child’s Catholic upbringing without any interference, especially from his mother. Make sure he will step in when his mom starts running her mouth in front of the kids. He needs to put his foot down. In return, you agree to back down and let him figure things out in his own time. And keep praying for him! You never know, it could be the child that leads Daddy home to the Church someday down the road!
 
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masondoggy:
Yes, it’s important for both parents to be the same religion, but it’s too late for that. That’s a decision you had to make before you had sex with this man and you can’t take that back now. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but these are the consequences of the decision that you made.
Masondoggy,

Now choosing a person that has the same religion as me, isn’t that like being prejudice??? “Oh I can’t be with you because you are not catholic…” He didn’t really have a religion to begin with and his Mom didn’t start being so forceful about attending their church until I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant… I had no idea that this would ever be an issue!
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masondoggy:
Let me tell you, it IS possible to raise your children in the Faith if you are the only Catholic parent, but it will take some agreements between the two parents.
It is so nice to know that this is possible! I’m also trying to help myself to understand that my finance doesn’t need to be catholic to marry in a catholic church and that my fiance doesn’t have to be catholic to attend mass with us but it would be nice he could become a catholic so that he understands and is at the same level as us… I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to attend church with us though… Anyhow, this subject with me and my Fiance has dropped and I will just be patient with him and yes I don’t want to be forceful with him at all, yes I leave the decision up to him, it’s not that I want him to convert because of my sake or to please me but I want him to convert because of his FAMILY, his immediate family…
 
Masondoggy,
Now choosing a person that has the same religion as me, isn’t that like being prejudice??? “Oh I can’t be with you because you are not catholic…” He didn’t really have a religion to begin with and his Mom didn’t start being so forceful about attending their church until I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant… I had no idea that this would ever be an issue!
I don’t really think that’s “prejudice”. There’s nothing wrong with trying to seriously date only Catholics. But that’s hard to do these days, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it now. Things happen, I did the same thing. I was only 17 when I met DH and the last thing on my mind was making sure I married a Catholic. The thing is, it’s too late now for either one of us to go back and establish that requirement. We just have to rely on prayer to convert the men we fell in love with.
It is so nice to know that this is possible! I’m also trying to help myself to understand that my finance doesn’t need to be catholic to marry in a catholic church and that my fiance doesn’t have to be catholic to attend mass with us but it would be nice he could become a catholic so that he understands and is at the same level as us… I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to attend church with us though… Anyhow, this subject with me and my Fiance has dropped and I will just be patient with him and yes I don’t want to be forceful with him at all, yes I leave the decision up to him, it’s not that I want him to convert because of my sake or to please me but I want him to convert because of his FAMILY, his immediate
Hey, if you have him willing to attend Mass with you, your doing great!! I would love it if DH would do that, but can only get him to go for family weddings and Baptisms. I would be willing to bet that if your fiance is open to attending Mass every week with you, it won’t be long before he signs up for RCIA on his own. 👍
 
I too would be thrilled if my DH would attend Mass with my daughter and me. I had no specific interest in returning to my Catholic roots until it was time to baptise our daughter. I had a least stated that I wanted to raise our children Catholic when we were engaged, but to me, that was mostly a cultural identity, rather than a firm grip on a serious set of religious beliefs.

Now, I’m quite serious about my Catholicism and our 13 year old daughter is preparing for her upcoming Confirmation. My DH has as little as possible to do with our religion, but he has taken her to Mass if I’ve been unable to get her there, and he has frequently assisted in getting her either to or from CCD classes. So, he’s definitely not standing directly in the way of her being Catholic.

It would be wonderful if he too were to attend Mass with us. It’s my hope and prayer for some day in the future.

Good luck with your FMIL.

CARose
 
Thanks Ryan,

I knew about St. Monica, but not about St. Margaret. I also include St. Rita as a prayer partner. When I had the pleasure of going to Rome for the beatification of the Blessed Theresa of Calcutta, the pilgrimage went to Cascia, where Rita lived and we visited her monestary.

CARose
 
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RyanL:
CARose,

You should elicit the help of St. Monica and St. Margaret the Barefooted as prayer partners! They had tough marriages, and St. Monica’s husband converted after decades of prayer (albiet, on his death bed…but it’s better than not at all…).

God Bless,
RyanL
I have to remember to do this! It’s so easy to forget.

I “suspect” that the Holy Spirit is slowly doing work on DH over the years. But he’s a tough one to crack! The one thing going in his favor is he believes the Catholic interpretation Communion, that it is the real Body and Blood of Christ. (even though he was raised Baptist), but unfortunately DH doesn’t understand that he can only get it in a Catholic Church. He thinks he’s been getting the real thing in his Baptist Church as a child.

prayer, prayer, prayer…
 
I don’t know how you would accept the words of an atheist, but this hacks me off, mainly cause people twist what I believe (or have no belief) in.
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Nicci:
… Out of respect I of course went along with it, we went through some verses from the bible. He asked my opinion on some of the verses. He told me that the baptist bible is the actual bible and that the bible catholic’s use had things added on to it through the years.
Ask him for proof of his assertion. If it’s true (which it is not), he should be able to produce proof. When he doesn’t calmly explain the truth, but make sure you have done your research before hand.
He told me that everything catholics do and believe is wrong… That “you have to be saved” to go to heaven… I almost cried, I had no feedback because of my poor understanding of my religion.
calmly ask him for examples, and then logicaly deconstruct them one by one. After you know your stuff, obviously. Research, research, RESEARCH!!!
But I did know one thing for a fact, that it was wrong of him to do that, it was disrepectful of him to say those things to me when I was born and raised into the catholic religion. I just felt so offended, even if I tried so hard to not take it personal, I couldn’t help it… He didn’t have to talk about my religion so specificly…
Yes it was wrong of him, and your fiance should of said something (at least in my eyes) along the lines of “If your just here to bash her religion we have nothing to talk about” and then you two should have left. BTW What your mother-in-law did was extremly underhanded.
Another incident happened just two nights ago… My fiance’s mom was about the leave our place and she said “We better go cause we have CHURCH (she said it in a hinting way to my finance, hinting him to go with them) tomorrow…” My fiance replied, “Oh, we have church tomorrow too…” then she said “OKAY! GO PRAY TO MOTHER MARY THEN!” in a loud and rude way…
Kill her with kindness and say (very sweetly) “Oh I will!”. Some times the best way to deal with rudeness is to be sweet. It can highlight how much of a jerk the person is being. You might also as what her problem with the Hail Mary is (assuming she has one, I am guessing she does).
Once again I felt so offended, I didn’t want to correct her because I felt if I did she might take it disrepectful of me to answer her back…
CORRECT HER. She probably feels impowered to keep doing this because you are not saying anything. Along the lines of “she soesn’t say anything because she knows I am right” People need to be reminded of boundries every once an a while
My fiance feels so confused, he feels like he’s choosing sides. He sometimes even says, “I just won’t have a religion so I can keep both of you happy…” It hurts when he says things like this, I want us to be a family of the same religion… I just wish my fiance’s Mom could just leave him alone and make him decide on his own religion. I told him that it’s his choice but I also told him that our relationship might not work if we have different religions.
Both of you should research catholisism. Check the pasrish, it may have a library you can check the stuff out if your on a tight budget. Know your stuff, knowledge is power!
Please help, how can I resolve this? Is it really true that a baptist bible is the actual bible?
I may have some points wrong (which I know will be corrected) but I believe the books removed were done so by the jews after the time of christ (they are all OT books, I believe). So the OT that Jesus would have used would be the one in the catholic bible.
Is it wrong of me to feel so offended by my finance’s mom’s words and actions?
No, you MIL is being childish and underhanded.
 
Nicci said:
“OKAY! GO PRAY TO MOTHER MARY THEN!”

Gee, I guess in all of her research on Catholic worship she didn’t notice that God is referenced over 100 times during the Mass while Mary is referenced about 4 times.
 
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