My Period. Your Period. Our Period

[purelovemmc]

Hi,

Me and my bf had a mini-argument. We got offended from each others’ comments. Now, at the middle of the argument he said that this (the mini-arguments) happens once a month.

I told him he cannot just blame that for whenever we are having arguments because maybe he did something to upset me.

But does it really do something to us, women?

Do we really get more cranky?

Thanks.

 

[sanctamaria17]

While I think that we can get more cranky, he shouldn’t be blaming it all on your period. You’re a couple, you’re going to fight some of the time.

 

[Guitar]

Doesn’t happen to me, but I speak for myself only.

Were I a man, I would be very careful never to throw that one around because it is such an obvious shot and very cheap one.

If he really truly means to say he’s noticed life definitely gets more difficult at “that time”, which would be quite fair enough if it’s true, the middle of an argument is not the most effective time to bring it up.

 

[Just_wondering]

Speaking for myself, I am more likely to lose my cool when I am close to getting my period - but about issues that have been building up that have nothing to do with the hormones. I suspect that’s true for a lot of women - the timing of the argument is due to your hormones, but the subject of the argument is completely valid. It’s just that the hormones made you lose your temper and bring it up.

I have never had a hormonal argument that was about an issue that didn’t bother me the rest of the time. So there ya go.

 

[Guitar]

I have never had a hormonal argument that was about an issue that didn’t bother me the rest of the time. So there ya go.

This reminds me of my mother telling me, “you’re overtired and just picking a fight” as a neat method of dismissing any issue she didn’t want to discuss.

 

[Willsfirecracke]

When my DH and I were first dating we were fighting regularly every month. He actually used that line once. It made me stop and think about what I was doing and why we were actually fighting.

 

[ecp007]

Speaking for myself, I am more likely to lose my cool when I am close to getting my period - but about issues that have been building up that have nothing to do with the hormones. I suspect that’s true for a lot of women - the timing of the argument is due to your hormones, but the subject of the argument is completely valid. It’s just that the hormones made you lose your temper and bring it up.

I have never had a hormonal argument that was about an issue that didn’t bother me the rest of the time. So there ya go.

I totally agree with this…there are things that are real issues that on non-hormonal days I will be polite, or above the fray, or just patient about. Then during that time of the month, I just feel like I’ve had enough…I’ve overlooked the same issue 10 times, and I am finally going to bring it up. It is a real issue, and deserves discussing, but would have probably been more effectively discussed prior to building up the frustration + the hormones.

 

[gettingthere]

At the beginning of our relationship my husband would ask me if it was “that time of the month” if I seemed extra sensitive or cranky. That always irritated me. He knows now not to say anything like that, though I’ve promised to warn him when I am PMSing, because I get really bad mood swings (though I’ve talked to my doctor and he gave me some advice and I’m now taking an extra vitamin supplement to help with the PMS symptoms, it’s helped SO MUCH).

If there is something that has been bothering me for a while, it will most likely come out as an argument when I’m on my period. I try SO HARD not to be cranky or nit-picky during that week, but sometimes I feel like my brain is saying one thing and my emotions are making me do something else. I hate it.

I should mention that during that time of the month I speak/act more out of emotion than anything. I’m not very rational, most days, but I lose all ability to think rationally during my period.

Anyway, it helped my marriage greatly for us to instill the “warning” rule, so my husband knows when I’m going to be more emotional than usual, and he also knows not to blame any outbursts or arguments or whatever on my period. It’s not fair because it’s something I have little control over.

 

[Julianna]

Goes with the territory. My face would break out…I would crave chocolate. All I wanted to do was not “deal” with people because I knew I would bite someone’s head off eventually. The cramping oh yeah, I remember it well. Lying in bed feeling like a beached whale. Ugh

I am glad it’s over. Haven’t had to deal with it since I was 31. It is like total freedom and I love it.

 

[strngrnrth]

Three things to think about: When you get your period you actually have a hormone balance much like a man’s most of the time.
Do you blow up at women that time of the month or just at him? I know very few women who push my buttons as bfs can. They look for your signs of irritability and jump on them to make you blow up. I’d avoid him when that happens.
Every adult has hormone cycles – daily, monthly and yearly. men and women have about equal yearly cycles, women have a sronger monthly one, men a stronger daily one. Don’t you respect his daily cycles and stay away from him when he’s low? Why would it be unreasonable for him to respect your monthly cycle as well?

 

[gardenswithkids]

One of the blessings when we used NFP was that I began charting my emotions too. I discovered that what seemed like random emotions followed a very specific pattern. My emotions swing strongest a day or two before my period, which made discovering the link difficult until I charted.

As many already said, the issues that bother me are things that always bother me, but that I put up with them and say very little (if anything.) I have less tolerance during a certain part of my cycle. Due to pregnanancy and nursing for the past several years, I didn’t have to deal with pre-menstrual mood swings much. When my cycle returned after my last baby, I had to re-learn how to deal with it.

It helps me to write about what bothers me rather than speak at that moment. I can re-read what I wrote when I’m at a less emotional part of my cycle. I can delete or edit written words, and fine tune what I want to say. If I still feel it must be said, I can express it without the same emotional intensity. (I have read the intensity of my emotions, and it’s not healthy for my marriage to bombard my husband with that.)

I also give my husband warning of where I am on my cycle. Not so he dismisses my concerns–but so he can adjust for my lower tolerance to annoying behaviors. He knows by now that I don’t like certain things. I let him know when I won’t put up with junk, so that he can adjust his behavior and help the kids be on their best behavior too. When everyone else is less annoying, I can be angelic throughout the entire month. :angel1:

 

[pumpkinbeast]

When I am getting close to my period, I KNOW I get more cranky. But I do my best to control myself, and I am getting better at it. Once, when I was in the midst of my crankiness, I complained to my fiance, Does it even matter what is upsetting me? I’ll just get over it tomorrow anyway. He said, and I thank him so much for this, that even though I am cranky, he still listens to what I have to say, because the issues could very well be real ones that have to be dealt with, rather than simple annoyances that won’t bug me ever again(until next month ).

 

[Cat]

A wise man studies women’s cycles (mother, wife, daughters, bosses, work associates, etc.) and respects them!!!

There is a definite, medically-provable scientific link to a woman’s cycle and her moods. Some women aren’t as affected by it. Others are actually capable of committing crimes during PMS. (Pre-menstrual syndrome).

I learned at a young age to really be careful right before my period. That’s when I tend to shoot off my mouth and say something totally nasty to somebody–it doesn’t matter who!–I could tell the Pope off right before my period!

I also get wildly creative right before my period, which is great if I am trying to write novels or plan a production, but it’s really really BAD if I’m trying to save money and I walk into a home decor store!

I also crave sweets like a pig during PMS. After the period is over, I am repulsed by some of the junk that I eat before my period!

And then there’s the sexual craving! For years, my husband and I have actually kept a list of our times together. If you chart the list, you will discover that during the ovulation times of my cycle, we’re quite frisky! But right before the period, my husband is lucky to be allowed in the same bed with me, let alone get any lovemaking! (When we were Protestants, we were using birth control–condoms, no hormones, so we were able to really whoop it up during ovulation without having three dozen babies).

So my wise husband studied all this and made use of it.
He knows that he can always count on ovulation as a time to get some lovin’.

And he avoids any conflicts right before the period because he knew I will end up in hysterical tears and go out and eat an entire ice cream shoppe and then blame him for it.

He knows that right before my period is a good time to take me to shows and movies because I’ll feed off of them and get ideas for my own novels and stories. And he is willing to listen to me talk on and on about all my ideas.

I would never say that a woman should be allowed to act uncivilized or commit sins because of PMS (although PMS has been cited in courts of law as the cause for various women’s crimes).

But I do think that a man who wants to live a peaceful life will study and understand a woman’s cycle and “go with the flow.” (pun intended)

And now I’m 51 and still having cycles. They’re changing though, and it’s been interesting for my poor husband to try to figure me out!

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi,

Me and my bf had a mini-argument. We got offended from each others’ comments. Now, at the middle of the argument he said that this (the mini-arguments) happens once a month.

I told him he cannot just blame that for whenever we are having arguments because maybe he did something to upset me.

But does it really do something to us, women?

Do we really get more cranky?

Thanks.

Truly, our bodies go through a bit of a morphing state, hormonally speaking. It’s not to be taken lightly, at all.:tsktsk: While I try to steer clear of serious topics a week just before, I loathed when my dh would ‘blame’ it on that. I said…so what’s your excuse? lol

He did a little research on the female anatomy one day a while back, and ever since, has a newfound humility for what we women can sometimes go through. I don’t have it as bad as when I was younger, but sometimes, I can really be…witchy.

The shift in hormones can really do a number on our minds, and emotions…it’s not a made up thing. There was a doc on the radio recently talking about this, saying that our hormones play a big part in how level headed we are or aren’t…thus, men going through mid life crisis and so forth.

I used to say I can’t wait for my period to be OVER! But, then now my sister is in menopause she found out, and she said…that’s a whole other set of issues! lol Blah!

 

[DJgang]

Really, this time of the month should be a teaching experience…

keep your mouth shut, write down your concerns and approach them later…

Trust me, after 11 years of marriage and total 14 years together, THAT is the best way to handle it…

OFFER IT UP!

Dana

 

[wisdom_3_5]

If he’s AWARE of a change in you at this time of month then WHY doesn’t HE make things easier for you? If he KNOWS you are sensitive (or caustic) at this time WHY doesn’t he back down?

Yeah, I can have a shorter temper during mine so my husband won’t get into anything like that with me. He just takes it in stride. And really, both of us have learned to be more gentle with each other at certain times (he suffers terribly from sinus problems). That’s not an excuse to be able to act like a jerk though. Jesus while dying on the cross loved and forgave those who were causing Him pain.

You both have to be willing to understand and accept that neither of you will be “top form” all the time and the other will have to be more gentle.

 

[jaaraf]

I’m not married but I work mostly with male staff and colleagues and a whole week before my period is when I usually have arguments or want to have everything go my way exactly… One time I told a colleague outright to avoid me since he happened to be my object of resentment at this time of the month. He did just that. (Anyway, I can do this and he perfectly understands cause we are both medical doctors). I also already warn the male staff I work with at the hospital and they usually laugh about it… Yup, hormones can get in the way, but at times you have to be above and beyond… I guess writing things down, taking a deep breath and praying to one’s guardian angel helps.

 

[BeluvdLily]

I don’t really think he should have said that BUT I can get really horrible around that time some months and I know that I do. I have even told my husband to please just take some of it with a grain of salt when I know I’m like that. I have a hard time convincing him it is PMS and that there is nothing seriously wrong. Then when I’m fine the next week he finally had to believe me. Even being aware of it, I find it hard to control sometimes but I do try to realize and not behave too badly. It just seems like at that time, everything sets me off.

Amie

 

[BamaRider]

I wouldn’t get in this thread on a bet.

 

[Just_wondering]

I wouldn’t get in this thread on a bet.

But you just did, Bama! You’re lucky most of the women here like you - we’re just glad we’re not married to you and on the receiving end of your pranks!