My relationship with my former parish priest

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I just want you to know I pray the Rosary daily. Tonight I included you and the priest as part of my intentions. I know you need it right now. Listen to God. He will show you the way. Sometimes if a temptation is weighing heavy on me, I try to force it out of my mind and say prayers. Sometimes traditional prayers and sometimes just, “Dear God help me.” Drive the thoughts out of your mind and replace them with God. Continue to pray. Don’t ever stop. Miracles happen through prayer. Strength that you never knew you had flows to the surface. In short, trust God. Cut off the communication with this priest, seek the help you need - ie confession, counceling, etc and trust God. Place yourself in His hands. Ok this turned into more than I wanted to say. I just wanted to tell you that a Rosary was said for you and the priest.
 
you both know this is problem. you must talk to another priest or bishop; not to report him but to seek help.
keeping it between the two of you only makes it inevitable that the situation will get worse.
stop communicating with him now.
 
always_catholic said:
Change my email and phone? Are you guys serious? So I am supposed to forget about his tears and pleading with me to not walk out of his life. I understand not pursuing an inappropriate relationship with him, but turn my back on him and report him to the Bishop? We didn’t do anything. I did not sleep with him.
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Yes. Do it and do it now. This is completely inappropriate for both parties. Change all your numbers etc. and don not look back keep running. You are in too deep already. Go to confession and start over, someplace else.
 
dcrowmik said:
The best way to end it – for you and he? Since you and he don’t seem to have the strength to do what you MUST DO NOW, send him an email with a link to this thread. That will stop him in his tracks so you won’t have to “worry” about letting him down and he won’t have to “worry” about losing you. If he’s a truly caring priest as you stated, he’ll get a quick realization of how he let Satan trap him and how he let Satan trap you, too. He will cut off all contact with you. Thus, the right thing which you can’t seem to do will be done for you.

If you need some “help”, copy and paste this link and send it to him now:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=381027

We are all praying for you and him. Hopefully the both of you are doing some mighty deep praying to your guardian angels, St. Michael (whose feast day is tomorrow), Mary, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

By the way, pray to St. Gemma Galgani. She’ll help you battle Satan because he’s truly sucking you in.
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Good Idea! 👍 send him the link.
 
Emotional affairs hurt. They hurt quite a bit. I know, because I’ve been there. Nothing physical happened at all (we didn’t even meet) , but words were said that shouldn’t have been said. (Nothing sexual.) He was my beta and editor online, lived in a completely different state even. When I went through some troubled, stressful times, he was there to listen; well, email. Oh, I had the excuses; hubby’s not paying attention to me, hubby’s not listening when I try to talk to him, blah blah blah.

Here’s the kicker: MY HUSBAND FOUND OUT.

I was lucky; my husband is a forgiving man. It took time, but trust has been renewed. I no longer work with that beta/editor. It was tough, deleting emails and not answering, but my husband deserves my full attention.

Cut the ties NOW. Don’t delay, don’t hesitate. Stop and think about your family. And like others have said, if your husband is suspicious, I guarantee that a few more are suspicious as well.

Stay away, at all costs.
 
always_catholic said:
I have tried to end this relationship. He stated that he needs me in his life because I am the only one who really knows him and he can talk to me. I told him this would not work and what is best for him is for us to not communicate. I told him that loving someone means caring about their soul and that means caring enough to let him go. He cried and begged me to not walk out of his life. That we would fix this relationship so that it would be healthy. What am I supposed to do just walk away?
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It sounds like he is controlling and manipulative. If you don’t walk away, this could turn disastrous. His bishop should know about this situation.
 
always_catholic said:
It is very easy for everyone to say just cut it off but very hard. I do care about him very much. I will confess but think we can remain friends. Or shall I say hope!
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I mean no offense, but you are very naive and perhaps have not had that much experience regarding human nature and the nature of sin.

I can see the writing on the wall. You think or hope you two can remain friends? Eventually, the relationship will revert to the sexual talk and separating will be even more difficult than the first time.

Continue this “friendship” and risk destroying your marriage.
 
Please talk to another priest at your new Parish about it at least and get an unbiased view.
 
This is what we in the monastery used to call an ‘inappropriate friendship’, before either of you get hurt you need to BOTH confess this and then-I know this will be hard-break off all contact. You live 3 hours away, he is no longer your parish priest, so there is no reason you two should have to be in touch. Do it NOW before you will both fall into sin and get hurt. If you love him, you’ll let him go…no matter how much he pleads with you!
 
HOLY ****! I just read through all 8 pages and I can’t believe that a 50 year old man would manipulate a 20 something married woman with 2 kids like that!

I can tell you right now that if a man (priest or not) displayed those actions towards me (even if I had a crush on him too), I would avoid him like the Devil. This relationship is poison.

All respects to you, but I love my husband so much that I don’t even think I’m capable of having strong feelings for another man, let alone a priest! If I felt that I may become attracted to someone, I would purposely include my husband in the friendship and wouldn’t see the man alone or talk to him alone.

You’re in over your head and I’ll pray for you.

I agree with everyone that you need to run fast and furious. Confession is a must for you to allow the Holy Spirit to give you guidance. You are playing Russian roullette with Hell and I am going to pray for you that you and “Fr. Flirt” can overcome this adulterous affair.

Fr. Cutie comes to my mind right now. Look him up…he had an affair and they started out as friends too. He was a pastor in Miami Beach, Florida.

You’re in deep. You are running the risk of ruining your family and creating a scandal with the Catholic Church…how selfish of you! I’m sorry, but I’m having a hard time being kind b/c you are being a fool.

Maybe I’ll see your name in the paper too…🤷 You need a good SHAKE!!!

Seek help from a Bishop like others said. You don’t have to mention “Fr. Flirt’s” name, but get help NOW! You are in over your head and Satan is having his way with you!
 
This is a spiritual battle. This is as serious as they come. As St. Paul tells us, we must ‘put on the full armor of God’ in situations like this.

Cling to God in the Mass, the Eucharist (only if you are able) & the sacrament of confession. Meet Jesus there. Use sacramentals like the rosary, a blessed scapular & holy water. Seriously. If you told me 10 years ago I would talk like this, I would not have believed you. A friend gave me holy water blessed with special exorcism salts.

Use everything at your disposal. Talk to priests & holy people. Read the saints. Get yourself to Eucharistic Adoration instead of a 3 hour cruise to nowhere. Talk to Jesus who is the only one who can love you perfectly!

Fight for yourself & your family! Praying for you.
 
This is a deadly situation. Take it from me. I am in the exact position as your husband (fortunately the priest in question lives in another country but the internet brings him and my wife together for long “chats”). This has ruined my wife morally and spiritually, destroyed our marriage, damaged our children (two of them, like you). It has probably wrecked the ministry of the priest in question.

Run as fast as you can, for the sake of your soul, for your family and for the soul of this priest you are seeing. The best thing you can do for him is to cut off all contact forever and tell your pastor what has happened. You cannot imagine the suffering. This is absolutely the work of the devil. Run, run, run.

jb
 
I’ve been thinking of this thread on and off all day. The responses have been excellent. To the OP: when you have a physical and/or emotional attraction to someone, it can be difficult to see that person’s flaws. This priest definitely has some pych. issues that the OP needs to be aware of and continuing any form of communication is going to be harmful in the end.

I hope you are taking our advice and beginning to see things as they really are. God bless.
 
I thought that-
Is it permit to love a priest as a teacher and brother in Christ? I mean it is not the same love a woman feels.
May God guide you and the priest.
 
Hi, always_catholic. I just wanted to let you know that many of us are still thinking about you & praying for you. My kids belong to a prayer group in which they pray for priests. I love this prayer & think it is important. I ask all of you guys to say it for this priest. I ask you to join us in praying it too, always_catholic. Not to antagonize you or anything. I just honestly feel it would help him in a serious situation…Prayers for you in this difficult time!:gopray2:

Lord Jesus, You have chosen Your priests from among us & sent them out to proclaim Your word & to act in Your name. For so great a gift to Your Church, we give You praise & thanksgiving. We ask You to fill them with the fire of Your love, that their ministry may reveal Your presence in the Church. Since they are earthen vessels, we pray that Your power shine out through their weakness. In their afflictions let them never be crushed; in their doubts never despair; in temptation never be destroyed; in persecution never be abandoned. Inspire them them through prayer to live each day the mystery of your dieing & rising. In times of weakness send them your Spirit, & help them to praise Your heavenly Father & pray for poor sinners. By the same Holy Spirit put Your word on their lips & Your love in their hearts, to bring good news to the poor & healing to the brokenhearted, & may the gift of Mary Your mother, to the disciple whom You loved, be Your gift to every priest. Grant that she who formed You in her human image, may form them in Your divine image, by the power of Your Spirit, to the glory of God the Father. Amen.
 
I have read all the posts here. I agree with one poster who said that usually the people here cannot agree on the color of grass…and yet, I did not read one, single post that stated any position other than THIS IS WRONG. STOP - and STOP NOW.

All I can think is how pained Jesus is over this. Every time the two of you engage in this improper relationship, Jesus cries out as another lash is laid across his back. Don’t you see how sinful this is? The LORD cries out in pain for BOTH of you. And His Mother stands beside Him, watching, in pain Herself…
 
mmm1 said:
Lord Jesus, You have chosen Your priests from among us & sent them out to proclaim Your word & to act in Your name. For so great a gift to Your Church, we give You praise & thanksgiving. We ask You to fill them with the fire of Your love, that their ministry may reveal Your presence in the Church. Since they are earthen vessels, we pray that Your power shine out through their weakness. In their afflictions let them never be crushed; in their doubts never despair; in temptation never be destroyed; in persecution never be abandoned. Inspire them them through prayer to live each day the mystery of your dieing & rising. In times of weakness send them your Spirit, & help them to praise Your heavenly Father & pray for poor sinners. By the same Holy Spirit put Your word on their lips & Your love in their hearts, to bring good news to the poor & healing to the brokenhearted, & may the gift of Mary Your mother, to the disciple whom You loved, be Your gift to every priest. Grant that she who formed You in her human image, may form them in Your divine image, by the power of Your Spirit, to the glory of God the Father. Amen.
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What an excellent prayer for priests. I, too, have had this situation on my heart in the last few days. I’m going to have my family use this prayer.
 
RosaMystica said:
What an excellent prayer for priests. I, too, have had this situation on my heart in the last few days. I’m going to have my family use this prayer.
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Thanks, RosaMystica, 👍 I do think it’s such a hard vocation to live out & such a difficult time to be a priest. Sometimes I think of all the different things they have to do & can’t imagine a more difficult vocation. Thank God they have all of heaven & prayer warriors like yourself behind them!
 
I have read a lot of the posts, not all, and although there have been some inappropriate and down right nasty responses. Here is my 2cents.
  1. Stop the relationship. Yes, change your email and phone number if you have to.
  2. Notify the Bishop, in the letter tell him that nothing has happened physically but this situation has become inappropriate and you have tried to explain to this priest it has to end and he won’t let it and mention all you have done to get out of the situation including quitting your job because you recognized your feelings were inappropriate. It doesn’t have to be mean or nasty, just informative. The reason I say you need to tell your bishop is he needs to know that one if his priests is in crisis and you need protection. And what happens if he turns his sights on someone else who is vulnerable and can’t get out? he needs help.
  3. Get some counseling personal and marriage.
  4. go to confession, even if you are unsure about the level of sin confess it. It will help.
You are in my prayers.
 
Women, beware. Men lie. Any priest who would be willing to commit adultery or tempt such a serious sin would have no problem commiting the sin of dishonesty. I would not even be surprised if this priest is a predator and deliberately deceived and manipulated this woman from the start. After all, when one really cares for another person, they will not put them in jeopardy of eternal damnation and Hell’s fire.
 
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