My responsibility to tell another Catholic he should not receive Communion?

[floresco]

I am heading to Mass in about 25 minutes and I am bringing a friend who has fallen away from his faith as of late. I doubt he has been to confession. Is it my responsibility to tell him not to receive the Eucharist, or do I leave it up to him since he is Catholic and should probably already know. I don’t want him feeling like I am judging him of his actions?

Any advice?

It is not your responsibility to tell him not to receive. However, if you think it is likely that he is not aware of Catholic teaching, you could mention that people should not receive when they are in a state of mortal sin. You could offer to give him some examples of mortal sins, if he does not know what they are. You could offer to go early to give time for going to Confession. You can provide knowledge and opportunities for him to do the right thing but you can’t tell him what to do.

 

[TrueLight]

I think problem you are having is what is the definition of “friend” and the issue of boundaries.

Actually, I’m not having a problem.

If a friend came up and asked me if I wanted to go with them to confession, that is one thing. If that same person came up and asked me to go with them to confession because they felt I needed it, that is a whole other matter and a big boundary issue.

I was not responding to this sort of scenario at all. I would never come up to a person and say, “umm, don’t you think you should go to confession?”. I don’t know if anyone on this thread is saying that.-

If that “friend” came up and ask me if I wanted to go to confession with them and I said no as I had other things planned and they responded with “Well you shouldn’t receive the Eucharist until you do go to confession.” Then that is an even bigger issue.

I don’t think anyone is debating that either. The OP said that the person was a fallen away Catholic. Not a practicing Catholic who sins.

If you know for a fact that a friend is not practicing because they basically told you or are you aware of their activities, and you don’t let them know that they need to go to confession before receiving, that is a horrible injustice.

 

[ProVobis]

Insofar as a Catholic going to services with a Protestant spouse, there is absolutely no sin in that. That is what is called loving and being a part of your spouse’s life. Protestants are Christians. That is Church teaching! If a Protestant is going up to receive Holy Communion at Mass and your priest knows about it and does nothing to prevent it, you should relinquish your worry, know that the priest is the responsible party, assume the best, and treat the couple with love and respect.

Realizing that it might make the person uncomfortable sitting in the pews alone, if I were to invite a Protestant or a remarried Catholic to come to church with me, I’d skip communion myself. Or, at least wait until that person acknowledges that I should go. I know this is not a requirement but I feel it does show a certain amount of consideration for that person.

 

[TrueLight]

Realizing that it might make the person uncomfortable sitting in the pews alone, if I were to invite a Protestant or a remarried Catholic to come to church with me, I’d skip communion myself. Or, at least wait until that person acknowledges that I should go. I know this is not a requirement but I feel it does show a certain amount of consideration for that person.

That’s a very charitable approach.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Actually, I’m not having a problem.

I meant to say “we” as in “the problem we are having”.

Sorry about that.

 

[Rina_Badal]

Dear Peace2u2,
Concerning your post about the couple.
Here is a link to a very good article/tract from Catholic Answers on ‘Who can receive Communion?’
You would be interested in the part about non-Catholics receiving Communion.
Other Christians and Communion
The guidelines for receiving Communion, which are issued by the U.S. bishops and published in many missalettes, explain, "We welcome our fellow Christians to this celebration of the Eucharist as our brothers and sisters. We pray that our common baptism and the action of the Holy Spirit in this Eucharist will draw us closer to one another and begin to dispel the sad divisions which separate us. We pray that these will lessen and finally disappear, in keeping with Christ’s prayer for us ‘that they may all be one’ (John 17:21).
"Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law. . . . "
Scripture is clear that partaking of the Eucharist is among the highest signs of Christian unity: “Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread” (1 Cor. 10:17). For this reason, it is normally impossible for non-Catholic Christians to receive Holy Communion, for to do so would be to proclaim a unity to exist that, regrettably, does not.
Another reason that many non-Catholics may not ordinarily receive Communion is for their own protection, since many reject the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Scripture warns that it is very dangerous for one not believing in the Real Presence to receive Communion: “For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died” (1 Cor. 11:29–30).
** Possible exceptions
However, there are circumstances when non-Catholics may receive Communion from a Catholic priest. This is especially the case when it comes to Eastern Orthodox Christians, who share the same faith concerning the nature of the sacraments**:
“Catholic ministers may licitly administer the sacraments of penance, Eucharist and anointing of the sick to members of the oriental churches which do not have full Communion with the Catholic Church, if they ask on their own for the sacraments and are properly disposed. This holds also for members of other churches, which in the judgment of the Apostolic See are in the same condition as the oriental churches as far as these sacraments are concerned” (CIC 844 § 3).
Christians in these churches should, of course, respect their own church’s guidelines regarding when it would be permissible for them to receive Communion in a Catholic church.
The circumstances in which Protestants are permitted to receive Communion are more limited, though it is still possible for them to do so under certain specifically defined circumstances. Canon law explains the parameters: “If** the danger of death is present or other grave necessity, in the judgment of the diocesan bishop or the conference of bishops, **Catholic ministers may licitly administer these sacraments to other Christians who do not have full Communion with the Catholic Church, who cannot approach a minister of their own community and on their own ask for it, provided they manifest Catholic faith in these sacraments and are properly disposed” (CIC 844 § 4).
It is important to remember that, under the rubrics specified above, even in those rare circumstances when non-Catholics are able to receive Communion, the same requirements apply to them as to Catholics.
I don’t know how well you ***actually know ***this couple, but if you are still concerned, I suggest you go to the priest and talk to him, humbly expressing your worries. And of course, prayer is always suitable and charitable.
Peace,
Rina

 

[TrueLight]

I meant to say “we” as in “the problem we are having”.

Sorry about that.

No problem Br. David!

 

[peace2u2]

Rina_Badal:
.
I don’t know how well you ***actually know ***this couple, but if you are still concerned, I suggest you go to the priest and talk to him, humbly expressing your worries. And of course, prayer is always suitable and charitable.
Peace,
Rina

Rina, Thank you for your post and the time you took to present it. It was helpful.

My friend actually came to me to tell me the conversation they had with the priest who knows of their situation and the priest told my friend that the spouse would need to have first “protestant” marriage annuled so their marriage could be blessed in the catholic church. My friend states that the protestant church does not do annulments so is confused.

My response to my friend was to question the priest again as what they are to to do, but states that the spouse would probably not go through another “marriage” in the church since they already did that in the civil union and the spouse is a little “anti-catholic” and both feel that they are married in God’s eyes anyway.

I did mention that the catholic church is not imposing “their own made up rules” about their marriage. What the priest is simply stating is what the church teaches on marriage and that they are just teaching what Jesus taught the Cathoic Church about marriage.

The only thing I can think of is that the priest allows it in the hope of Jesus’ Presence in The Holy Eucharist will heal and thus bring forth contrite and repentant hearts and that their marriage will finally be blessed in the Catholic Church. ?

Peace 2u2

 

[Rina_Badal]

You are welcome Peace2u2!
I see there are major additions; first ’protestant’ marriage, annulment issue, ‘anti-Catholic’ attitude …. It is rather complicated, but only because we are hearing one side of the story from you who is a third party – I mean you are not the Catholic lady herself nor the protestant husband, and definitely not the priest.
Well, the priest is supposed to be ‘the expert’. He knows very well who can receive Communion, how and when. I just hope he is fully aware of your friend’s real condition.
One thing I know, the body and blood, soul and divinity of Christ the Lord should not be compromised.
I mentioned my advice earlier but you can also talk to your friend and remind her of the teaching of the Catholic Church concerning receiving Communion.
(The Church sets out specific guidelines regarding how we should prepare ourselves to receive the Lord’s body and blood in Communion. To receive Communion worthily, you must be in a state of grace, have made a good confession since your last mortal sin, believe in transubstantiation, observe the Eucharistic fast, and, finally, not be under an ecclesiastical censure such as excommunication) CA Tract.
God bless you.
Peace,
Rina

 

[felsguy]

the priest told my friend that the spouse would need to have first “protestant” marriage annuled so their marriage could be blessed in the catholic church. My friend states that the protestant church does not do annulments so is confused.

It sounds like it might not do much good in this case, but you could inform your friend that the annulment that their priest spoke of would have to be sought from and hopefully granted by the Catholic Church.

.

 

[peace2u2]

"CARRY YOUR ROSARY EVERYDAY

When you carry a Rosary, Satan has a headache.
When you use it, he collapses.
When he sees you praying it, he faints.
Let us pray the rosary every time, so that he’ll keep fainting.

Maybe one day, he’ll have a stroke and never be able to work."

Rina, I posted your quote because it is just lovely! I’m thinking of starting a thread on the power of God’s healing through praying The Rosary and those whose lives have been changed as a result. Thanks and peace.

 

[peace2u2]

It sounds like it might not do much good in this case, but you could inform your friend that the annulment that their priest spoke of would have to be sought from and hopefully granted by the Catholic Church.

.

Yes, I think my friend didn’t understand that the process would be handled by the Catholic church. If it is brought up, I will say what you suggest.

Thanks.

 

[Lutgardis]

Realizing that it might make the person uncomfortable sitting in the pews alone, if I were to invite a Protestant or a remarried Catholic to come to church with me, I’d skip communion myself. Or, at least wait until that person acknowledges that I should go. I know this is not a requirement but I feel it does show a certain amount of consideration for that person.

Very sensitive and kind of you

 

[manny85]

I have a friend who is “trying” and I quote it because trying isn’t exactly what he is doing but nonetheless, he lives with a woman and they are not married and have told him that he cannot receive communion until he goes to confession and remedies the state his is living in. I never felt like I was judging him merely relaying the message since he is very ignorant to church teachings and the faith, if I don’t tell him no one else will. His mom lets him live with his girlfriend and sleep with her and its like nothing is going on and its not all his fault he was never taught these things by his parents so I do what the pope says. I would rather have someone correct me then me sin because someone wanted to be “nice” to me, forget that.

Also I would never miss communion just to make someone else feel more comfortable. I dunno sometimes I think I don’t show as much compassion and love towards others and I’m very old fashioned even though I’m not that old I will continue to pray to get better

 

[Lutgardis]

. . . Also I would never miss communion just to make someone else feel more comfortable. I dunno sometimes I think I don’t show as much compassion and love towards others and I’m very old fashioned even though I’m not that old I will continue to pray to get better

You don’t have to feel exactly like someone else to be living in love. When the poster said he/she would abstain in order to make his/her friend feel comfortable, it was said in love to his neighbor and to God. When you say you would not abstain, it is in love to God, also. Some of these things we are discussing are a matter of conscience, and not a matter of do or don’t. Our state of mind, our heart is the arbitrating factor in such cases. I think the poster who said he would abstain in love finds favor with God, and You, who say, in essence, if I may interpret what I sense, is that in love to God, you would not deny yourself union with him. Both, because they are done in love, are acceptable to God. This concept of conscience toward God is found in Rom 14:6-12:

*He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord . He who eats meat, eats to the Lord , for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord ; and if we die, we die to the Lord . So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord . For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.’"
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
*

 

[Rina_Badal]

Also I would never miss communion just to make someone else feel more comfortable.

Personally, I try to make sure I am in a position to receive the Communion every time I go to mass. I feel so sad when I cannot/do not receive Christ.
***‘Behold the Lamb of God, behold him who takes away the sins of the world.
Blessed are those called to the supper of the Lamb’ ***- New translation.
Blessed are we to be called and blessed are we indeed when we answer the call!
I often said the reply, in a lower voice, in Arabic before the introduction of the NRM (it has a better translation than the old English version).
And I start getting excited at the thought that *the moment *is coming.
What a beautiful experience! I definitely would not miss it, if I can help it.
God bless you.
Peace,
Rina

 

[DavidJoseph]

As a lay person you have no right to tell anyone they can or cannot receive the Eucharist. That’s way above your pay grade so to speak. That responsibility rests on the shoulders of the good and holy priests. Your only responsibility is to educate, gently, as in “If you were too busy in Vegas to make it to Mass and you want to take Communion today, we should get to Church early so we can go to Confession, Okay?”

Wrong! If you know someone has committed a mortal sin and not confessed it, then it’s not only your right, but also your DUTY to tell them they shouldn’t receive the Eucharist. And that actually IS educating.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Wrong! If you know someone has committed a mortal sin and not confessed it, then it’s not only your right, but also your DUTY to tell them they shouldn’t receive the Eucharist. And that actually IS educating.

Can you show where the Church states that a lay person has a “DUTY” to judge the suitability of another person for reception of the Eucharist.

We can never tell when someone else commits a mortal sin as we can never know their inner dispositions. We can only know if they have committed a sin that is of grave matter, the other two conditions, full knowledge and full consent of the will, we can never know.

We also can not know if someone has gone to confession after committing a sin that we know of. Unless they commit that sin in our presence and we are with them 100% of the time from that time until they go to receive the Eucharist.

But again, as we can not know if it is a mortal sin, we have no right nor any duty to tell them they can not receive the Eucharist.

 

[TrueLight]

Can you show where the Church states that a lay person has a “DUTY” to judge the suitability of another person for reception of the Eucharist.

We can never tell when someone else commits a mortal sin as we can never know their inner dispositions. We can only know if they have committed a sin that is of grave matter, the other two conditions, full knowledge and full consent of the will, we can never know.

We can know their inner dispositions if they confide them to us.

I hate to keep up bringing sexual sin but it is one of the more visible sins.

If I have a friend who tells me that she knows she shouldn’t have sex with her boyfriend, but she is afraid he will leave if she stops, then I will pray for her and counsel her.

If that same friend says I’m going to go to communion today, you better believe I’m going to tell her, “You know you have to go to confession first right?”. If she says, she is too embarrassed to confess fornication to a priest but she longs to receive, should I just say okay?

If I love my friend, I am going to tell her in a straightforward and loving way that she will be committing sacrilege.

Now, there may not be a Canon or CCC reference that says “If you know your friend is having sex, it is your responsibility to advise her that she should go to confession before receiving the Eucharist”, but it seems obvious to me.

 

[ProVobis]

We can know their inner dispositions if they confide them to us.

I hate to keep up bringing sexual sin but it is one of the more visible sins.

If I have a friend who tells me that she knows she shouldn’t have sex with her boyfriend, but she is afraid he will leave if she stops, then I will pray for her and counsel her.

If that same friend says I’m going to go to communion today, you better believe I’m going to tell her, “You know you have to go to confession first right?”. If she says, she is too embarrassed to confess fornication to a priest but she longs to receive, should I just say okay?

If I love my friend, I am going to tell her in a straightforward and loving way that she will be committing sacrilege.

Now, there may not be a Canon or CCC reference that says “If you know your friend is having sex, it is your responsibility to advise her that she should go to confession before receiving the Eucharist”, but it seems obvious to me.

Indeed. I had a “buddy” who bragged about his Saturday nights on Sunday mornings in front of others. Now even if he doesn’t think they were mortal sins, then certainly it is scandalous to approach communion in his state. There are others who openly gossip on their way to communion. I cannot assent to this behavior in any way.