My sister....how could she do this

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shannyk

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I can’t believe this.

I called my sister yesterday to talk to my nephew and wish him happy birthday, he turned 4 yesterday.

After I talked briefly with him I talked to my sister. We are not very close, but we enjoy talking when we do, so we talked for awhile. During this conversation I said to her I noticed she sounded tired and asked if she was sick.

Her response was something I was unprepared for. She said,

“No, I’m not sick, I had an abortion on Friday and I’m still recovering.”

Silence on the phone.

Me, “what? you’re kidding I hope. I know you’re kidding”.

Her “no, I’m not kidding. There was no way we could afford another child right now” ( we is her and her long time BF with whom she has a son).

Silence.

More silence.

Me, “I don’t know what to say. I can’t wrap my head around why you would do this.”

Her, “well I told you why.”

Me, “ok, I don’t think I can talk to you right now.”

Her, “ok, well, ttyl then”

Click.

I was up all night thinking and praying about this. I don’t understand.

This is the second abortion she’s had that I know of. The other was when she was a teenager, and living with my dad who is very very very pro-choice. I’m quite sure he convinced her to have it. That gets me wondering if my dad knows about this…I’d bet he does. How pathetic.

What makes me even more angry is her ‘reason’. Can’t afford? She and her BF have both for some odd reason chosen not to get jobs (her BF has NEVER held a job since they have been together) and just resell things on ebay and live in my dad’s house rent free, and get food stamps. They are both able bodied young people, 30 yrs old. My sister was the breadwinner until my nephew turned 2 and she wanted to stay home with him. She made a very good living and could easily go back to what she was doing. Her deadbeat fiance doesn’t seem to think earning a living is his responsibility at all and is content to live off of my sisters credit cards, my dad’s ‘generosity’ and public assistance. THERE IS NO REASON that one of them can’t get a JOB. But they didn’t even attempt to, to afford this child. I’m just sickened.

I don’t know what else to say or think right now…please pray for my sister and her baby, her now sibling-less son , and our whole family especially for me, that I deal with this as appropriately as possible. I don’t know how to do that right now.
 
I’m so sorry.

Yes, praying for her is the right thing to do. She probably isn’t open to post abortion counseling, but you might get some literature from the Elliott Institute or Heritage House and have it around just in case.
 
I’m so sorry. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom for you, but I don’t. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Your family will be in my prayers!
 
you are not a complainer, so when I saw your post, I had to read.

There is nothing you can do, but pray. Fighting with your sister won’t change things. She knows how you feel and what you believe.

I too have a family that I could do without, but these are our crosses to bear. Just pray for your sister and for the baby in Heaven. I will pray for you too that you come to terms with all of this.
 
Oh, my heart is breaking for you, for your sister, for your nephew…what a horrible thing. I have no idea what to say. Prayers for you.
 
I’m so sorry to hear this, shanny. Prayers for your family.
 
I am so terribly sorry. 😦
Prayers for your sister and her little baby… and your whole family…
(((HUGS)))
 
This is so sad.
She was so casual about it…and without shame. Maybe someday the severity of what she has done will hit her, and you can be there for her. For now, it doesn’t sound like she grasps it. Praying for everyone involved.
 
I think that you can only treat your sister with love. think! What would Jesus do?And then do exactly that.

Another beautiful little soul in heaven.

Your sister and what she has done to her body, that very sad.

Prayers for you and your family. Don’t get too down.:blessyou:
 
I’m sorry to hear this. I’m praying for your sister. I can’t imagine how that child is going to feel knowing his mother aborted he two would be siblings. I honestly hope that child does not become raised to take a pro-choice stance.
 
Sorry. 😦 I can’t imagine how sad that is for you.

Perhaps the child is better off in God’s loving embrace than the life it would have with parents like that. (I know that sounds horrible even as I type it. But what else can you say?)

She has a hole in her conscience big enough to drive a truck through. How responsible she is for that only God knows. He hung on the cross forgiving those who don’t know what they are doing. Maybe someday she’ll be like Shelley Winters, crying on tv for the children she killed, realizing too late her mistake.

Stay close to her so you can stay close to your nephew. He needs you more than you know. Someday, as Eagleswings said, he will realize his siblings were killed by his own mother. The hole in HIS family will be horrible. He will need you and your kids to fill the void.

I pray that God gives you wisdom and an extra supply of charity. Her complete cluelessness as to the gravity of her actions may be her actual salvation someday. If she was morally conflicted and did it anyway, that would be a sign she knew how horrible what she did is but did it anyway.

Sadly, I find these people are the kind who would be horrified if you took a bag full of kittens and threw it in a river. But they see no moral problem with abortion.
 
So sorry Shanny, you have my prayers.
Liberanosamalo said:
Perhaps the child is better off in God’s loving embrace than the life it would have with parents like that. (I know that sounds horrible even as I type it. But what else can you say?)

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Where there is life there is hope. Some one else could have adopted that baby and given him a good life. 😦
 
I know, Mary Gail, but the mother didn’t even want to allow that. I also find that kind of person doesn’t want a child but kills it because “I could never give it to a stranger.”

Go figure. 🤷
 
I’m sorry, Shanny 😦 That’s terrible:(

Prayers for you all. Just…wow…
 
Oh my gosh!! Shanny I am so sorry.

Pray!.. likely you will be the only one asking for your poor niece/nephew’s intercession:(. Your sister needs a wake-up call. Pray for her, and her husband, and for the little boy who looks to them for role models:eek: Definitely stay in his life… he needs somebody like you!

My prayers for you too… what a horrible, horrible thing… I am so sorry:bighanky:

Love, Ljubim
 
Shanny, I would call her and say that you’re sorry you had to cut the conversation short, but that you are truly concerned about her. Also, maybe suggest that if/when she ends up in that situation again, that you would be willing to adopt her child (or, if you’re not comfortable about that that you’ll help her find a loving home for her child). I guess that, reading your reaction, it kinda seems like it “proves” that pro-lifers only care about the babies (which I know is not true for you, but that may be playing in her head). Maybe it’s time to start working toward a closer relationship with her. But, prayers for you and she now has two souls in heaven praying for her. Sometimes, when you talk to her, mention that (like if she’s complaining about something going on in her life, etc.). I have a cousin who did the same and though she’s not interested in post-abortive counseling, when she became pregnant for the third time, she chose life for her son. I still occassionally mention her other children praying for her in Heaven. Now, she reacts to that and says that when I say that it makes her cry (much different than 5 years ago when she didn’t say anything about it).
 
Shanny, I am deeply sorry for the suffering you are going through – few realize that abortion isn’t just about the woman, but everyone in her life is affected by it as well. You are in my prayers, and I will add you and your sister to our Parish’s prayer intentions. Please, above all else, be loving and kind to your sister – your support will do more to win her over than angry words and sermonizing. There are numerous things wrong with your sister’s situation, but she is the only one who can change it. Pray for conversion, that the Holy Spirit will soften her heart, and the hearts of those who will be most influential in helping her change her circumstances. She is probably depressed and that makes her even more vulnerable to the evil that is working in her life, and affecting the poor choices she is making. There are a lot of people here who will pray for you and you can offer up your pain and suffering with that of our Lord, Jesus Christ to ask for her conversion.

And just a little side to Liberanosamalo – there is NEVER, EVER a reason to abort a child, assist in a suicide, commit euthanasia or execute a prisoner. ALL life is to be protected and respected from conception to natural death.
 
gmarie21 said:
Shanny, I would call her and say that you’re sorry you had to cut the conversation short, but that you are truly concerned about her. Also, maybe suggest that if/when she ends up in that situation again, that you would be willing to adopt her child (or, if you’re not comfortable about that that you’ll help her find a loving home for her child). I guess that, reading your reaction, it kinda seems like it “proves” that pro-lifers only care about the babies (which I know is not true for you, but that may be playing in her head). Maybe it’s time to start working toward a closer relationship with her. But, prayers for you and she now has two souls in heaven praying for her. Sometimes, when you talk to her, mention that (like if she’s complaining about something going on in her life, etc.). I have a cousin who did the same and though she’s not interested in post-abortive counseling, when she became pregnant for the third time, she chose life for her son. I** still occassionally mention her other children praying for her in Heaven. Now, she reacts to that and says that when I say that it makes her cry (much different than 5 years ago when she didn’t say anything about it**).
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That’s a really good idea! What a blessing that you got through to her!:love:
 
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