Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an arguement a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”. I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
Dear OP, I had a very similar situation with my son last year, when he was 17 and was seeing/spending time with/in a sexual relationship with a girl who was, as far as I can tell, completely unchurched (although my son tried to cover for her and say her family is Catholic, I don’t believe him). He stopped going to church with us after they had sex (he didn’t know that I knew this, I had been monitoring his computer because he was acting like he was on drugs), and one day he up and tells me that he’s not Catholic any more, he’s agnostic.
In my case, he said this on a day when I was feeling centered and confident, or it might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. As it was, I merely laughed a little, and told him, “No, you are a Catholic, you were baptized Catholic and that’s it, you can’t undo a sacrament. You can be an unfaithful Catholic, you can even be a heretical Catholic, but you were baptized a Catholic and will be one your entire life.” He never said another word about being an agnostic. He still didn’t go to church with us though. Not until his girlfriend broke up with him and he was emotionally destroyed and needed to confess did he return to God. All the while, I had been praying and praying, but knowing that he was in mortal sin, I did not force him to attend Mass, for then I would have been knowingly encouraging him to receive Christ in a state of mortal sin. It was VERY difficult to just leave him at home and go to church. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Anyway, after the break-up, he gradually returned and accepted his faith again. It wasn’t overnight, and he still doesn’t go to Mass regularly, but he has been working most weekends so he has some amount of excuse. He does attend a Catholic high school so goes to Mass occasionally on campus and can go to confession any time he feels the need. I go to confession almost every week and I always offer to bring him along but he never takes me up on it. I keep trying. I keep praying.
Your son is not an atheist. Atheists do not believe in God, so they would not bother to burn the Bible, because to them, it is meaningless. Actually, your son is rebelling against God, but the rebellion proves that he DOES believe. Burning the Bible in front of you is certainly dramatic! Does he run to the dramatic gesture in general? How did you come to allow him to go that far in his anger/rebellion/argumentation? Probably it would be better not to allow him to act out like that, kick him out before he started a fire with the Holy Word of God.
Never cease praying for your son. Never cease showing your son how much you love and care for him. Do not push him away, he may need you when he and his girlfriend break up (and they will break up).
), and we got divorced within about a year of our marriage.