My stepmom probably has Alzheimers/Dementia

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EasterJoy said:
If this is true mania, and not just wild swings in her energy level, she might also have a brain disease:
“Mania in the elderly occurs in three forms: (1) Bipolar patients who get older (2) elderly patients with pre-existing depression who develop manic symptoms and (3) elderly patients who first present with mania. Late life onset mania is relatively uncommon and may signal underlying neurological diseases, e.g., stroke, brain tumor etc…”

From the handout “Comprehensive Management of the Elderly Patient with Mania”
alzbrain.org/pdf/handouts/9001.%20COMPREHENSIVE%20MANAGEMENT%20OF%20MANIA%20IN%20THE%20ELDERLY.pdf

Yeah, it looks more and more as if she needs to get a real work-up for this. I think you’re doing her a huge favor by keeping her at home for as long as possible, though, even though there are alternatives that would be easier on you. Bless your heart for looking out for her, and God bless you as you go through figuring this out and addressing her issues. I hope it is something that will ultimately result in a “treat and release”!
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Well, since I am 2 states away, I’m not really keeping her at home. Her long-time friend is the one doing all the work to keep her in her home or at least part-time in her home. Mom goes home at night with her friend but it’s not easy for her friend even then, because Mom will get up during the night, leave the house, etc.

I wish I were there, we’d have gotten more specialists on this long before now, but there you are - you can only do what you can do now, today, not yesterday or the year before. It may be that she is too far along in her disease process now to really ever be back to normal, and the fact that she’s very sensitive to medications will make it harder to treat her with anti-psychotics. In fact she may have already been tried on one, and had a really bad reaction to it.

It’s hard to sort out what’s what from such a distance. I’m thinking I need to get up there as soon as possible to get her worked up from the ground up.
 
So an update - Now 2 of Mom’s people in her head have died. The “girl” who could be as young as 6 or as old as 18, died a few days ago, not sure exactly how. Now her friend has told me that “Ray,” the man who might have been the girl’s father, has also died, from taking too many aspirin. He died in her friend’s well house. 🤷

Geez Louise. What complex delusions these are! I wonder what will happen next, now that 2 of the 3 characters have died? :confused::confused:

I did get her an appointment with an M.D. in her town. She will see him next Thursday. Maybe just getting a fresh pair of eyes on her and her medical situation will help. I’m praying for that, at least that we can get a real diagnosis and go forward. The best situation would be that he can either adjust her meds and her nutrition to help relieve her mind, or that he can add something to keep her calm and reduce the hallucinations/delusions.

It still amazes me that she can carry on a normal conversation with me over the phone and yet still believe that all of these people in her mind are real.
 
Good to hear that she will be getting looked over.
I’m thinking that it might not be a bad idea to do up a brief summary or outline/timeline of these behaviors to take with you when she goes in. That way it can be given directly to the doctor and you can be sure that nothing important has been forgotten.

I do this each time that my lady goes into the hospice IPU so that the staff has all of her current data and i don’t forget anything important…

(I’m saying “you” above though I assume it will likely be her friend who takes her…)

Hope all goes well.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Good to hear that she will be getting looked over.
I’m thinking that it might not be a bad idea to do up a brief summary or outline/timeline of these behaviors to take with you when she goes in. That way it can be given directly to the doctor and you can be sure that nothing important has been forgotten.

I do this each time that my lady goes into the hospice IPU so that the staff has all of her current data and i don’t forget anything important…

(I’m saying “you” above though I assume it will likely be her friend who takes her…)

Hope all goes well.

Peace
James
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Yes, it will be her friend who takes her this time. I can’t get up there yet because my 2 sons are going to need help moving back home after their college semesters end. Well, the younger one, at least - his dorm lease is up in the middle of the month so we have to drive down and move the mini-fridge and other large things back home. After that, I’m flying up to see her, with very low expectations. 😦

I will get her friend to write out a timeline and what she has seen over the years. They kept it mostly to themselves for quite a long time, I’m sure her friend didn’t mean any harm by it, she’s a dear person and loves Mom like a family member. Thank God for her, otherwise I don’t know what we’d have done.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Yes, it will be her friend who takes her this time. I can’t get up there yet because my 2 sons are going to need help moving back home after their college semesters end. Well, the younger one, at least - his dorm lease is up in the middle of the month so we have to drive down and move the mini-fridge and other large things back home. After that, I’m flying up to see her, with very low expectations. 😦

I will get her friend to write out a timeline and what she has seen over the years. They kept it mostly to themselves for quite a long time, I’m sure her friend didn’t mean any harm by it, she’s a dear person and loves Mom like a family member. Thank God for her, otherwise I don’t know what we’d have done.
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Yes - Thank God indeed for this wonderful friend of your step mom’s.

Glad to hear that you will be able to get up there soon - just for your own peace of mind if nothing else.

As for them keeping things to themselves…I agree…there was no ill intent. In truth, with older people these things can sort of creep in slowly and we can just laugh them off as somewhat “normal” for an older person. It’s only after some period of time…when things get worse…that we recognize that the symptoms began appearing much earlier.

Hoping all goes well.

Peace
James
 
Update:

Mom’s appointment was supposed to be today, but because the other clinic had not prepared her records in time, it had to be rescheduled to next Tuesday. Her friend told me that Mom has had some decent days over the past week. Her sleeping pills are working right now and she understands that the voices in her head are not necessarily real, so she should question where those thoughts come from.

I am going to make plane reservations soon.
 
Thanks for the update. You have been in my thoughts/prayers.

Peace
James
 
Update: I am here at Mom’s as of today. She’s mostly in reality, but with some “stories” that aren’t real. I heard a lot this evening about her imaginary little girl and “James,” the girl’s father, who had both died and been buried in her (Mom’s) burial plot. It’s quite an involved story and if you didn’t know better, you’d think it was real. She tells these things as though they’ve really happened, but she did say earlier that she understands sometimes she hears and sees things that aren’t real, like her house burning down (that’s a recurrent delusion, evidently). She said, “I even hear the fire engines!” She understands when she sees that the house has not burned down, that’s obviously not true, but the rest of her stories are not as obviously unreal.

Well, we’ll just take it a day at a time and see what happens. Prayers are always welcome. She’s such a dear person and it pains me to see her in distress or confusion.
 
Thanks for the update. I was just thinking of you and your step mom yesterday.
It has to be good for you to actually be there with her - and good for her to see you - to be able to give each other hugs.
And while you are hugging these days. Maybe give her one from us - who are thinking of you both and praying that God give you both joy, and courage, and hope, and all good things.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Thanks for the update. I was just thinking of you and your step mom yesterday.
It has to be good for you to actually be there with her - and good for her to see you - to be able to give each other hugs.
And while you are hugging these days. Maybe give her one from us - who are thinking of you both and praying that God give you both joy, and courage, and hope, and all good things.

Peace
James
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Thank you James, I really appreciate it.

:love:

I’m going to hug her a lot while I’m here.
 
Keeping her (and you) in prayer. I always read your posts, and am glad you gave the update.
 
Thanks as always for the prayers. She had a little spell tonight, when she “heard” someone tell her that her brother had died. When I told her it most assuredly was NOT true, she then cried, and asked me why these things come into her mind like they were real. I tried to reassure her and then told her it would be better if she’d have a thought that she had won the lottery or something positive. Her delusions have some violent quality to them, or people dying. No paranoia yet, that I am aware of. That’s when it gets very difficult to handle someone at home, when they fight you and accuse you of trying to kill them or steal their stuff. She’s pretty docile but her friend says she’s had a few wild spells. I hope not to see that while I’m here but you never know.

I have to go to confession tomorrow and I will see if this tiny church has a holy water container and I will bring it back and use it to bless her house. I don’t think she would allow me to use it on her. 🤷 I forgot to bring holy water from home. 😦
 
Dear one,
I know that this has to be so difficult for you right now - witnessing this first hand. I remember too the times when my lady was struggling with these things. It is heart wrenching - for everyone.
Not much else I can offer…But do keep us updated as often as you are able.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Dear one,
I know that this has to be so difficult for you right now - witnessing this first hand. I remember too the times when my lady was struggling with these things. It is heart wrenching - for everyone.
Not much else I can offer…But do keep us updated as often as you are able.

Peace
James
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Would you say that was the early stages of Alzheimer’s, James? I’ve had a hard time figuring out just where she is in the progression, because she is still mostly in reality, but she hears things and sometimes sees things, and definitely believes things that aren’t real. She knows us, she knows who she is, she remembers most of her past. That’s not like most Alzheimer’s patients, I don’t think.

Her friend feels that Mom may not be here with us for long. She’s known Mom over 50 years, I’ll go with what she senses. I’m just here to soak up as much of her as I can.

😦
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Would you say that was the early stages of Alzheimer’s, James? I’ve had a hard time figuring out just where she is in the progression, because she is still mostly in reality, but she hears things and sometimes sees things, and definitely believes things that aren’t real. She knows us, she knows who she is, she remembers most of her past. That’s not like most Alzheimer’s patients, I don’t think.

Her friend feels that Mom may not be here with us for long. She’s known Mom over 50 years, I’ll go with what she senses. I’m just here to soak up as much of her as I can.

😦
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Hard to say…There are any number of things that it could be. Can’t say that this really strikes me as an Alzheimer’s onset…at least from my limited experience. ALZ usually starts with forgetfulness rather than visual and auditory hallucinations.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Hard to say…There are any number of things that it could be. Can’t say that this really strikes me as an Alzheimer’s onset…at least from my limited experience. ALZ usually starts with forgetfulness rather than visual and auditory hallucinations.

Peace
James
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I’m going to talk to her new doctor on Tuesday if I can. I want to know what he’s thinking her progression might be. She was pretty wild last night, kept saying a man was coming to kill her and we had to keep the house locked. That the police were flying a plane over her house to try and catch the man. It turned out that due to a miscommunication, I had not given her her nighttime Ativan which helps her sleep and keeps the voices at least somewhat quiet in her head (she thinks they come from the heating vents or the baseboards). So I gave it to her as soon as we figured out that was the problem, and she slept all night. Her friend tells me that if we hadn’t gotten her on that pill, she would have had to put her in a nursing home because she would go days without sleeping and having all sorts of visions and delusions. The funny thing is that when she was having these wild spells, she “forgot” she was disabled and was outside running around without a cane or anything! 🙂

From what I can find on the net, it sounds more like Lewy Body Dementia, which is related to Parkinson’s, but she doesn’t seem to have any Parkinson’s symptoms that I can see. I guess the doctor may give me more information.

I got freaked out last night when I couldn’t convince her that there weren’t any men after her. I know better than to try and talk her out of her delusions, but it just really astounds me that she can not know better! She’s no intellectual but she used to have a good grounding in life. 😦 So sad.

I also left her alone this morning for about 20 minutes while I ran up to the church to get some holy water, and when I got back I found that she had locked up the house and had given the dog a half of a piece of pizza (which she doesn’t need!), and was talking crazy again. So there is no way she can be alone any more. She had been looking for her car keys (usually the car is out at her friend’s farm) but thankfully I had them with me, or who knows what she might have decided to do. This is all so crazy!

Please continue to pray for her, and for me to be patient and not forget her pill again!
 
Dear one…

How familiar all of this sounds.
When I read that you couldn’t convince her that no men were coming after her, I was reminded of something I read a long time ago on an ALZ website…
“Don’t try to reason with them…their reasoner is broke”

Ativan is a good med. We used in in small doses for anxiety for awhile. Still use it as a muscle relaxant - you are right they do sleep well when they are on it.

It does seem pretty clear that she can’t be living on her own anymore. That will mean some pretty tough decisions.

May God guide you and be near and grant you peace

Peace
James
 
PaulfromIowa said:
I have seen various people with age related dementia and Alzheimer’s disease but I don’t think that seeing imaginary people is an ordinary part of dementia. Can you get her to see a geriatric psychiatrist? Does anyone have a health care power of attorney, a financial power of attorney?

She should probably be looking into assisted living facilities, like an apartment but with staff nearby.
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all of this is accurate and good advice.
 
Fairwinds said:
all of this is accurate and good advice.
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She lives in a very rural area with few resources. We are doing the best that we can under the circumstances. It’s hard enough just to find an actual M.D. and not a D.O., let alone a specialist. She’s 92 and frail, and the closest larger town is 90 minutes by car.

Sometimes the best that we can do, is the best that we can do.

😦
 
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