My stepmom probably has Alzheimers/Dementia

[TheRealJuliane]

A geriatric nurse once told me that Alzheimer’s patients do not get that their logic is out of whack. In the early stages, they can get that they have Alzheimer’s, they can get that something must be behind all the weird stuff happening, but they don’t see the error in their own thinking. My mom had vascular dementia, not Alzheimer’s, but if she had told me a story like your mom’s, my mom would never in a million years have believed that her experience wasn’t real. She was always convinced that the rest of us were nuts, and it made her very angry when we argued with her. If there was physical evidence in our favor, that made her even more angry. As I’ve often said, there was a stretch (when she could still attempt cooking and could still remember that nobody believed her all day) when her life seemed like every day was a Monday, and not in a good way.

I think you’re totally right about this being something else, and so I think that your mom’s symptoms probably won’t have a typical Alzheimer’s progression. I’m not trying to be a Pollyanna, but these may even be delusions that could go away, if whatever is wrong is fixed. That does happen with geriatric psych problems; they aren’t all chronic and progressive.

**Wow, give yourself lots of room to rest. There was nothing more exhausting to me than being with my mom when she had started getting unpredictable, and that was even when she had a pretty good day. The combination of being on the look-out for what she might unexpectedly do and the grief of missing what she had been and seeing what she had lost was a huge piece of work. I was always exhausted afterwards. My siblings and I would call each other to “de-brief” after we had been with Mom, just to talk to someone who knew Mom and knew what we had experienced while with her. That was very helpful.
**
It’s especially hard that she’s so far from specialists, although even with specialists, there is a lot of trial and error to figuring these things out. I hope your mom’s doctors can find something to help her out, so she can stay at home for as long as possible.

This was something I was completely unprepared for. I have no skills in this area, and few coping mechanisms, except for my love of my stepmom. When I got back home on Friday I was absolutely SHATTERED. I’ve never felt so drained. Granted, I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before, but still. There is a heavy element of grief to this, that cannot be expressed while the loved one is there. I would cry most nights after she had gone to bed. Last night the exhaustion returned. And my husband has no clue as to what I am going through - both of his parents are still living although his grandparents are gone. I pray he never has to go through this, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

:bighanky:

 

[EasterJoy]

This was something I was completely unprepared for. I have no skills in this area, and few coping mechanisms, except for my love of my stepmom. When I got back home on Friday I was absolutely SHATTERED. I’ve never felt so drained. Granted, I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before, but still. There is a heavy element of grief to this, that cannot be expressed while the loved one is there. I would cry most nights after she had gone to bed. Last night the exhaustion returned. And my husband has no clue as to what I am going through - both of his parents are still living although his grandparents are gone. I pray he never has to go through this, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
:bighanky:

Isn’t that the truth. And yes, I’d say it was the experience of being the primary caregiver, and not only the lack of sleep, because you can feel the difference when you go through it.