My friend JTBT. Put aside your doubts and mistrust stemming from deeds done by PEOPLE within the Catholic Church. People are corrupt, will always be corrupt, will always cause problems, and have since the Catholic Church began. Then, come to understand that the Catholic Church is an entity onto itself. It is holy, as it was formed by Christ. It cannot err. It’s mission is pure, and it has accomplished this mission spectacularly over the centuries - for 2000 years - despite the myriad imperfections of the people who populate it, and despite the constant attacks from within and without. Search your heart and seek the truth, doing so without the stain of your understandable disdain for past atrocities committed by people in the name of the Catholic Church, and focus on the goodness of the Church as the entity which was founded and formed by Christ, which existed at the time of the Apostles. Christ promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against the Catholic Church, and they have not. They cannot. One cannot name another institution populated by mere humans that has existed for this amount of time. Not only existed, but thrived in the face of relentless attacks. Seek - without prejudice - and ye shall find the truth, goodness, and holiness of the Catholic Church.
God bless!