My wife just left me

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I guess I’m going through the stages of grief.

I’m starting to get feelings of resentment. I’m trying hard not to let myself be overcome by that feeling, and I’ve been praying for me not to have those feelings. I would appreciate some prayers to help me get passed the feeling of resentment.

While I’m having fun going out and doing things, I can’t help but think that I was happy in my old life. I was content with what we had for our lives. I can’t help but compare and contrast how things are different now. Often times, I’ll be out or coming home and I think to myself, ‘This is my life now’.

For the most part, I have started to adapt and I’m getting used to my new life, and I feel optimistic and not down more times than not, but yeah there are times where I do get down, feel a bit angry, and feel some resentment. Maybe it’s just part of the grieving process.
 
It’s pretty normal to feel negative about what seems like a change for the worse and I know what it’s like to need prayers against resentment so I will pray for you.
 
ChrisGriffin said:
I do sympathize with your plight but may I address your quotes above.

First, your willingness to fight for your dog is puzzling when you are in shock about your pending divorce. You seem to be fighting for your dog like most people would fight for a child.

Second, I suggested you might join a pro-life group in my post #122. You have evidently joined a co-ed kickball league instead and are going out to have fun instead. I find that disappointing.
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Chris, the pro-life group is a nice suggestion but not for everyone. There are a bunch of service ministries that might fit better.

Also, I’m sure OP wanted children. Sadly, his dog is a positive influence and giving him unconditional love, even if in limited ways.
 
ChrisGriffin said:
I do sympathize with your plight but may I address your quotes above.

First, your willingness to fight for your dog is puzzling when you are in shock about your pending divorce. You seem to be fighting for your dog like most people would fight for a child.

Second, I suggested you might join a pro-life group in my post #122. You have evidently joined a co-ed kickball league instead and are going out to have fun instead. I find that disappointing.
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Is it really a terrible thing for someone in such a difficult situation to want to try and fit in some fun activities?
 
ConfusedLucy said:
Is it really a terrible thing for someone in such a difficult situation to want to try and fit in some fun activities?
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It’s important to be around people as much as possible when you’ve had this kind of a shock. It may seem frivolous but it’s actually essential for mental health.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
Is it really a terrible thing for someone in such a difficult situation to want to try and fit in some fun activities?
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Sometimes you just have to have fun. Even Jesus went to weddings, drank and had fun. Life is difficult enough to get through.
 
Been a bit since I last updated.

I was served divorce papers yesterday. They seem to be pretty standard. I haven’t signed them yet. I’ll probably talk to my soon-to-be-ex and ask her one last if this is really what she wants. (I already know the answer, but I want to just get it confirmed)

Also, we have a real estate agent and the house will be going up for sale soon. Sucks, because we had worked hard and saved for this place, and I thought we were going to be here for years.

I think it’s odd ‘advice’ that someone in this thread that thought kickball was bad, or just getting out of the house. Really doesn’t make any sense to just sit and wallow at home. I’ve made some friends and we hang out pretty often now. I’m involved in a ton of activities, and I’m pretty happy with life.

I don’t know what’s in store for me in the future, but I trust God, and that he will lead and guide me. Truthfully, I’m pretty excited for what’s ahead.
 
I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for your plight. It’s like knives in the heart watching someone you love walk away.
I never had a girlfriend, so I don’t know what pain is. But make no mistake. Eve is from Adam’s side and the bone of his bone. No amount of pep talk and extracurricular activity is going to mend that.
 
Caprotodox said:
Been a bit since I last updated.

I was served divorce papers yesterday. They seem to be pretty standard. I haven’t signed them yet. I’ll probably talk to my soon-to-be-ex and ask her one last if this is really what she wants. (I already know the answer, but I want to just get it confirmed)

Also, we have a real estate agent and the house will be going up for sale soon. Sucks, because we had worked hard and saved for this place, and I thought we were going to be here for years.

I think it’s odd ‘advice’ that someone in this thread that thought kickball was bad, or just getting out of the house. Really doesn’t make any sense to just sit and wallow at home. I’ve made some friends and we hang out pretty often now. I’m involved in a ton of activities, and I’m pretty happy with life.

I don’t know what’s in store for me in the future, but I trust God, and that he will lead and guide me. Truthfully, I’m pretty excited for what’s ahead.
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WOW, that was quick! My parents took three years to get their divorce. They had to be officially separated for a whole year before they even started the divorce proceedings.
 
Caprotodox said:
Been a bit since I last updated.

I was served divorce papers yesterday. They seem to be pretty standard. I haven’t signed them yet. I’ll probably talk to my soon-to-be-ex and ask her one last if this is really what she wants. (I already know the answer, but I want to just get it confirmed)

Also, we have a real estate agent and the house will be going up for sale soon. Sucks, because we had worked hard and saved for this place, and I thought we were going to be here for years.

I think it’s odd ‘advice’ that someone in this thread that thought kickball was bad, or just getting out of the house. Really doesn’t make any sense to just sit and wallow at home. I’ve made some friends and we hang out pretty often now. I’m involved in a ton of activities, and I’m pretty happy with life.

I don’t know what’s in store for me in the future, but I trust God, and that he will lead and guide me. Truthfully, I’m pretty excited for what’s ahead.
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Thanks for the update. You sound more hopeful in this post than in others in the past and I’m so glad to hear you have trust in God to lead and guide you and are looking forward to the future.

I think it’s great you are involved in so many activities and made some friends you can spend time with. It sure beats staying home alone and getting depressed or as my friend did get involved with heavy drinking which was sad. Activity is also good exercise.

Hope you get the house sold and the divorce finalized without issues or problems and may God Bless you and keep you.

Mary.
 
I was served on Monday, and I just signed and turned in my response saying that I agree with her petition to divorce.

So now that I’ve signed those papers, does that mean that I can start taking communion or do I have to wait until the judge actually decrees the divorce?
 
Caprotodox said:
I was served on Monday, and I just signed and turned in my response saying that I agree with her petition to divorce.

So now that I’ve signed those papers, does that mean that I can start taking communion or do I have to wait until the judge actually decrees the divorce?
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Best advice would come from your parish priest. 🙂
 
Caprotodox said:
I was served on Monday, and I just signed and turned in my response saying that I agree with her petition to divorce.

So now that I’ve signed those papers, does that mean that I can start taking communion or do I have to wait until the judge actually decrees the divorce?
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When was your last confession? You will need to clear up a few things with that sacrament first, if you haven’t already. Call and make an appointment with the priest and he can easily help you out.
 
Met with my priest today, and was able to take communion for the first time in years. Felt really good!
 
Honestly, I don’t think what she’s saying are the problems is actually the problem. Not that she’s necessarily intentionally deceiving you: she simply might lack the self- awareness to know what actually is causing her “unhappiness” (which, btw, is a bad, bad reason to divorce over, especially for women).

From what I’m reading, you aren’t really responsible for this possible divorce. Sure, you have some impatience, but these are clearly not just reasons to divorce.

I would stop “chasing” her. Girls tend to become repulsed by the appearance of desperation in a man. Furthermore, she is the one that needs to approach you and apologize. Have a little bit of a backbone: she’s the one disrespecting you.

Here’s a little secret, one that especially applies to many women in our culture: words are very cheap, if you want to discern the real reasons and feelings behind someone, you should look at his/her actions: in the past to the present. To help you notice and understand these signs and to the reality in which they point to, I recommend looking into the blog of Mr. Dalrock. He’s not a Catholic, but he is a devout Christian, and honestly, I think he has a pretty strong grasp of the male and female nature and virtues, and a much more “Catholic” understanding of marriage than many Catholics. Start with this article: dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/the-secret-to-staying-married/

Oh, and be wary of many of the commenters on his blog: they (not Dalrock) are wakey, tending to view women as base animals.

Watch everything you say to her: one little angry outburst and the next thing you know, her lawyers crying “emotional abuse.” It’s hard to say this, but her actions indicate that she’s not trustworthy. Just be careful not to let your distrust of her rip you two apart further.

Christi pax.
 
Lucretius said:
Honestly, I don’t think what she’s saying are the problems is actually the problem. Not that she’s necessarily intentionally deceiving you: she simply might lack the self- awareness to know what actually is causing her “unhappiness” (which, btw, is a bad, bad reason to divorce over, especially for women).

From what I’m reading, you aren’t really responsible for this possible divorce. Sure, you have some impatience, but these are clearly not just reasons to divorce.

I would stop “chasing” her. Girls tend to become repulsed by the appearance of desperation in a man. Furthermore, she is the one that needs to approach you and apologize. Have a little bit of a backbone: she’s the one disrespecting you.

Here’s a little secret, one that especially applies to many women in our culture: words are very cheap, if you want to discern the real reasons and feelings behind someone, you should look at his/her actions: in the past to the present. To help you notice and understand these signs and to the reality in which they point to, I recommend looking into the blog of Mr. Dalrock. He’s not a Catholic, but he is a devout Christian, and honestly, I think he has a pretty strong grasp of the male and female nature and virtues, and a much more “Catholic” understanding of marriage than many Catholics. Start with this article: dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/the-secret-to-staying-married/

Oh, and be wary of many of the commenters on his blog: they (not Dalrock) are wakey, tending to view women as base animals.

Watch everything you say to her: one little angry outburst and the next thing you know, her lawyers crying “emotional abuse.” It’s hard to say this, but her actions indicate that she’s not trustworthy. Just be careful not to let your distrust of her rip you two apart further.

Christi pax.
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Thanks Lucretius. The marriage is over, I’ve already signed the papers and just waiting for the decree. I also spoke with my priest and I’m able to fully partake in the Eucharist now.

I’m perfectly happy, and don’t harbor any anger or resentment, or have any lingering sadness. I’ve been going out a lot doing different activities, and I’ve already gone a couple of dates and met some cool girls.

The hard part for me is just letting my life go and letting God steer the ship; I keep trying to take the wheel when I should just be going along for the ride. I’ll keep working hard, and doing the right thing, and jump on opportunity when it comes my way.

On the above, I would really like to find a Catholic girl. I’m hoping that when I do find one, she will be able to look past me being divorced.
 
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