Still working my way through the thread but here’s some of my nominees, if not the absolute worst, then at least the movies I can think of that I’ve seen and absolutely loathe. In order as I think of them:
Plan Nine From Outer Space (but a hoot to watch for it’s very cheap production values).
Valley of the Dolls (cheesy in all respects – read about it in Michael Medved’s 50 Worst Movies of All Time).
Somewhere in Time: Horribly wooden acting by Christopher Reeve. Stupid plot – he’s not going back in time at all, he’s hypnotizing himself. I’m from Michigan and I think every year they still have a Somewhere in Time festival on Mackinac Island where it was filmed: The scenery and costumes are about all the movie has going for it.
Chopping Mall: I kid you not – teenagers are trapped in a shopping mall guarded by robots with weaponry.
Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Both with Johnny Depp. Is there a reason to make two children’s classics so disturbing, including Depp as Michael-Jacksonesque child molester?
The Grinch: The feature film with Jim Carrey (sp?). Again, the animated Christmas TV show is a classic, why expand it into a feature (or include that inane “Where are you Christmas?” song)?
And finally (and this will get me exiled from my home, populated with diehard fans…
Star Wars Episodes 1-3 (aka: The Phantom Menance, The Attack of the Clones, and the Revenge of the Sith:
Where to begin with those?:
Stilted acting (my pity to Jake Lloyd who was a kid when he was in Phantom Menace and apparently has endured a lifetime of teasing because of it).
Horrible dialogue: The script feels so formulaic: “Line, Line, Line, (insert “witty” repartee here), line”
Stupid plot:
You mean the rise of the Empire is all the result of…a trade dispute?
And The Force is merely an overload of midi-chlorians, which sounds like a virus or a bad cold.
In 10 years, no one thought to rescue Annikin’s mother from slavery, after her permission to allow him to race and to become a Jedi is what saved their necks? (Also Annikin’s immaculate conception?
“No Annie, we mustn’t,” says Padme, in her best low-cut black biker leather seductress outfit sitting in fire light.
“I killed them, the women, the children!” says Annikin. Not 5 minutes later, “I love you Annie!” says Padme (who later dies, even though any mother I know wants to live on to save her children.)
Darth Maul: Hyped upon release as the worst villain of all time, then he gets killed after only one or two fights?
JarJar – anything to do with Jar Jar
I also feel bad for Luke: While twin sister got to become a princess, he got sent to some poor desert farmers in the middle of nowhere.
Ridiculous effects and production values:
Especially Yoda-the-muppet’s so-called battle with Dookoo. Throw a puppet in the air, it came to land, I know not where.
The battle with Darth Maul. Granted, he hoists a mean double-bladed light saber, but at one point during his final battle, he runs and does this almost balletic turning leap through the air for no other reason than the actor could do this almost balletic turning leap through the air. (He wasn’t dodging anything or hastening to any place, he just does it.)
Many, many green-screened shots that, at least for me, were painfully obvious.
There! Now I feel better!
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The Empire Strikes Back was Episode V, and is generally considered the best of all the Star Wars movies (many would consider it one of the best sci-fi movies ever made).
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