Needing help understanding why my marriage is not considered valid

[onmywayagain]

I was taught that when you are baptized into a religion, you are that religion for life. I had no choice in the religion I was baptized into and I can’t help what I believe in. I try my best to resist evil, love God and live my life for Him. Where is the wrong in that? What I believe is not my choice, I wish it was because it would make things a lot easier. Who are mere mortals to say that what I believe is wrong? That is up to God to decide and that’s the biggest problem I have with the Catholic Church I was baptized into. According to It, if you don’t or I should say can’t believe in everything that the Catholic Church teaches, you are a sinner. How am I to change what I believe in my heart to be ok and just in the eyes of God?

And what is that religion that you are baptized into? There is only one religion and that is Christianity, the Catholic Churchis Christianity in it’s purest form. I know people will refute it. I myself was baptized as a child in the Catholic Church and had no choice or say in it. But the thing is. I have the choice right now and I choose the Catholic way because I, myself, see it is the only way for me. That is what you have to do. You have to find out what is right for you. If it is not the Catholic Church then thats fine. There are a lot of people like yourself who don’t understand everything the Catholic Church says. I would recommend you enrolling in the RCIA program at your Parish and learn about the things that you have questions about. Then and only then will you get to fully understand the Catholic Church.

 

[dulcissima]

I want to believe so badly, I really do. I felt an emptiness being away from the Church. But after having those beliefs for so long, it’s hard to change them. That’s what I’m suffering through now. I just have a hard time believing that the Catholic church is THE church.

I’m not jumping ship just yet lol I really want to get everything straightened out in my head and I"m sure it will be a time consuming process but a process I am more than willing to go through.

Hi Krissy. Spend some time on these forums, and you will learn about the deepness of your Catholic faith. A lot of the questions that you are asking here in this thread can probably best be answered in the apologetics forum.

A lot of us here grew up with the belief that all we need is the Bible and that we can figure things out ourselves, go our own way. Fortunately for us though, Christ had a better plan. Notice that during his life Jesus did not leave us his own written instructions. What he did do is that he instituted a church and gave his church the authority to bind and loose. As Catholics we take Jesus at his word and we respect the authority that he gave to his apostles. We are obedient to Christ when we are obedient to the church he gave us.

 

[Atemi]

No, I truly believe that I didn’t commit a sin. I am trying to understand why the Catholic church thinks I did but that I am beginning to understand.

I need to get my Bible out and start reading…

You will find nowhere in your Bible that your marriage is not valid in God’s eyes unless married by a Roman Catholic priest…nevermind that you have committed a sin that could possibly damn you forever.

I truly feel for you because people of God don’t need these types of burdens.

 

[krissy343]

To commit a mortal sin one must have full knowledge of the grave nature of the offense and choose the action or behavior despite the understanding that it will separate one from God. So if you and your husband intentionally decided to defy the Church on this matter, knowing what the teaching is on marriage, you may be culpable. However, if you understood your wedding by a minister to be the same as or equal to a Catholic marriage in the eyes of God, your responsibility may be lessened.

At the time, we didn’t see it as committing a mortal sin but since being on here and reading other posts I have realized that in the eyes of the Catholic Church it is so therefore, not getting our marriage convalidated sooner, I see that in the eyes of the Church we are living in mortal sin until we do…

Catholic teaching tells us that God does not condemn us to hell. WE condemn ourselves. Christ left behind His Church and She continues His mission. The Catechism provides us with the structure by which we can fulfill our obligations to Christ to live as His disciples while here on this earth. When we choose to defy or reject the doctrines of our Church, we are essentially telling God that we don’t agree with Him, or we know better.
There is no “better than” in God’s eyes and that is not the issue in the case of priests and ministers. Christ left behind His Church and appointed His apostle Peter as it’s head. From Peter, we have apostolic succession which gives the Catholic Church it’s direct link to Christ Himself. In a sense, the priest is directly appointed by Christ. This is not the case with other Christian denominations. While their ministers may be very good and holy men who have been called to devote their lives to God, we, as Catholics, believe that they have yet to reach their true homes, which is the Church. It may be that God is moving them toward the Church in stages and that their ministries bring them closer. But the fact is they are men who minister without the benefit of a “See”, or unified governing body. They are working on interpreting God’s will and Word on their own…
Do you know if Catholics can go through RCIA since they are already Catholics as a “refresher course”?

.
You don’t have to believe that because that is not Church teaching. Referring back to my explanation of mortal sin, which is the only thing that separates us from God, most non-Catholic Christians who are married in their own churches by their own ministers believe completely that they are doing God’s will. The Catholic Church understands that such people have yet to understand the fullness of the truth and are earnestly seeking to do God’s will in the only way they know. More importantly, the Church NEVER presumes to tell anyone they are “going to hell”. The Lord is the only judge. The Church tells us how to avoid it

This is from the Catechism. Perhaps it will help you to understand why a Catholic must marry within the Catholic Church.
Thank you, that all made sense to me

 

[onmywayagain]

Rom 14:4 “Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”

…

And who am I judging? Please explain.

 

[onmywayagain]

No.

Because such an idea is alien to true Christian charity and doctrine.

I understand Charity. Please explain which Doctrine. Catholic or Protestant?

 

[krissy343]

Good points.

.

Do you, krissy, feel superior to men as a woman because only women can have babies? .
no, I don’t feel superior.

.Do you think I as an Australian feel superior to you as an American even though my country doesn’t recognise all the educational or professional qualifications that are offered by your country’s institutions? Do you as an American feel superior to me even though your country probably doesn’t recognise my educational qualifications in the legal profession?.
I would hope you don’t and no I don’t feel superior to you.

.And yet we each are obliged to accept the way our biology runs as women, even though it is different to men’s, and the laws and administrative procedures our respective countries have introduced, and accept that if we’re lawyers or teachers or what have you, we can for the most part only work in a limited range of places.

Same with the Church, you’re a ‘citizen’ of the Catholic Church if you will. And just as you agree to abide by the laws of your country, so you should by those of the Church. You know what the option is if you don’t want to, in both cases.

I try to agree to the laws of the church and that is why I am here trying to get a better understanding of the Church’s teachings.

 

[Tonks40]

You know, when I came back to the Church and learned that my own marriage was not valid, I realized that it wasn’t because I was intentionally sinning - it was just that I didn’t know. And I only have myself to blame for that for being away from the Church.

We all struggle with trying to find out what God’s will is for us. It’s a blessing to know that we don’t need to second-guess ourselves in relying our own resources - we have the teaching body of the Church to help us along.

 

[LilyM]

No, I truly believe that I didn’t commit a sin. I am trying to understand why the Catholic church thinks I did but that I am beginning to understand.

I need to get my Bible out and start reading…

Start with Luke 10:16, where Jesus said to the Apostles:
“He who hears you hears me, and he who rejects you rejects me, and he who rejects me rejects him who sent me.”

How can you be certain that this pastor who married you has been ‘sent by Christ’ and the Father, with authority to do so?

Catholic priests, on the other hand, do have a clear lineage of authority direct from the Popes who the whole world (or 98% of it) acknowledges have come in an unbroken line of authority from the Apostle Peter himself. So you CAN be certain with them.

 

[krissy343]

I’m glad to hear this. The Lord never abandons His children, and I’m sure He’s happy to know that you are willing to learn about your faith.

You may want to go to the home page of Catholic Answers at catholic.com. They have a ton of stuff regarding the teachings of our Faith and the Early Church Fathers and their beliefs. When I realized through my research that the faith that Christ handed down to us 2000 years ago was the same faith we practice today, I got really excited about it! I hope and pray that you may also be granted the gift of zeal for Christ’s Church and be able to live it out faithfully, fruitfully, and freely (without being forced to believe it).

God Bless!

thank you! I will definitely go and check it out… I really want to learn and believe and I know I have a long road ahead of me.

 

[krissy343]

And what is that religion that you are baptized into? There is only one religion and that is Christianity, the Catholic Churchis Christianity in it’s purest form. I know people will refute it. I myself was baptized as a child in the Catholic Church and had no choice or say in it. But the thing is. I have the choice right now and I choose the Catholic way because I, myself, see it is the only way for me. That is what you have to do. You have to find out what is right for you. If it is not the Catholic Church then thats fine. There are a lot of people like yourself who don’t understand everything the Catholic Church says. I would recommend you enrolling in the RCIA program at your Parish and learn about the things that you have questions about. Then and only then will you get to fully understand the Catholic Church.

I was, as I said before, baptized Catholic. I will definitely enroll in RCIA, thank you

 

[krissy343]

Hi Krissy. Spend some time on these forums, and you will learn about the deepness of your Catholic faith. A lot of the questions that you are asking here in this thread can probably best be answered in the apologetics forum.

A lot of us here grew up with the belief that all we need is the Bible and that we can figure things out ourselves, go our own way. Fortunately for us though, Christ had a better plan. Notice that during his life Jesus did not leave us his own written instructions. What he did do is that he instituted a church and gave his church the authority to bind and loose. As Catholics we take Jesus at his word and we respect the authority that he gave to his apostles. We are obedient to Christ when we are obedient to the church he gave us.

I will be spending much time here!

 

[krissy343]

You will find nowhere in your Bible that your marriage is not valid in God’s eyes unless married by a Roman Catholic priest…nevermind that you have committed a sin that could possibly damn you forever.

I truly feel for you because people of God don’t need these types of burdens.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I would like someone to show me a bible passage that goes against what Atemi said if it is possible. Not to go against you in any way but just out of curiosity

 

[dulcissima]

If you are a Catholic, then you come to your church to receive the sacraments. The sacraments afterall are an outward and visible symbol of an inward grace. Interestingly, in the sacrament of marriage, it is the couple who confers the sacrament upon each other. The priest is the witness. You come to the church for this sacrament because you are putting yourself in the hands of God and making a covenant with him.

 

[krissy343]

You know, when I came back to the Church and learned that my own marriage was not valid, I realized that it wasn’t because I was intentionally sinning - it was just that I didn’t know. And I only have myself to blame for that for being away from the Church.

We all struggle with trying to find out what God’s will is for us. It’s a blessing to know that we don’t need to second-guess ourselves in relying our own resources - we have the teaching body of the Church to help us along.

exactly my stance. I’m just trying to believe in it before I have it convalidated because I don’t think it would really be worth it to do it if I didn’t believe in it. But I’m getting there.

 

[krissy343]

Start with Luke 10:16, where Jesus said to the Apostles:
“He who hears you hears me, and he who rejects you rejects me, and he who rejects me rejects him who sent me.”

How can you be certain that this pastor who married you has been ‘sent by Christ’ and the Father, with authority to do so?

Catholic priests, on the other hand, do have a clear lineage of authority direct from the Popes who the whole world (or 98% of it) acknowledges have come in an unbroken line of authority from the Apostle Peter himself. So you CAN be certain with them.

I can’t be certain. I guess I should’ve really done my research before I came here to vent.

 

[onmywayagain]

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I would like someone to show me a bible passage that goes against what Atemi said if it is possible. Not to go against you in any way but just out of curiosity

How about reading chapter 13 of Romans. It speaks of Obedience to Authority. Like a couple of us stated about Apostolic Succession. Read it and we would like to know what you think. I know I would.

 

[krissy343]

Thank you to everyone here who has taken the time to help me understand, I really appreciate it! I’m getting there! I have a lot of studying to do! God bless!!!

 

[krissy343]

How about reading chapter 13 of Romans. It speaks of Obedience to Authority. Like a couple of us stated about Apostolic Succession. Read it and we would like to know what you think. I know I would.

I read it and it’s as if a light turned on in me! I’m finally getting it and I feel much better. I guess I should’ve spent more time listening in Sunday School and Theology class in high school.

 

[dulcissima]

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I would like someone to show me a bible passage that goes against what Atemi said if it is possible. Not to go against you in any way but just out of curiosity

The Bible does not go into detail about what must happen during a wedding ceremony in order for it to be valid, but I would consider what it does say about submitting to authority.

From Romans 13:
1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

If you are a Catholic, you have submitted yourself to the authority of the Catholic Church. If you do not follow Canon law with regards to getting married in a Catholic Church by a Catholic priest, you are not submitting to the authority of the church, and your marriage is therefore not valid due to lack of form. Those who are not Catholic need only submit to civil authorities for the Catholic Church to recognize their marriage as valid.