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onmywayagain
Guest
Just make sure that light never goes out.
Needing help understanding why my marriage is not considered valid
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Atemi
Guest
I know the folks here would like us to believe that Romans 13 teaches that all Christians must obey Roman Catholic priests, but that is not so.
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blessedtoo
Guest
Your attempts to derail this thread are becoming tiresome. If you wish to debate the authority of the Church, please start another thread. Thank you!
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onmywayagain
Guest
Romans 13 tells to follow the authority God has appointed. Guess who Jesus appointed as head of His Church? Guess who Catholics follow and have been following? I’ll give you some time to think this one over. Take as much time as you need.
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blessedtoo
Guest
That’s awesome! Good for you for keeping an open mind and heart! Don’t fret too much about not listening in Sunday School - most of us didn’t learn these details there. Enrolling in RCIA is a good start, but I would suggest you thoroughly investigate the program and Parish in which you decide to join. Some RCIA programs can be, well, slightly “confused” as well.
You can always come to CAF when you find a program and the good folks here will give you the facts. God bless!
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kangnamdragon
Guest
I really don’t understand why so many anti-Catholic people post on this forum to tell why we are wrong. How many Catholics go harass Protestants on their forums?
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onmywayagain
Guest
Most protestant forums don’t even let Catholics join.
If they do, Catholics will be banned even faster than any protestant will on this forum. So much for they love they say they preach.:tsktsk:
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puzzleannie
Guest
as CAtholics you are bound to obey Church laws on marriage. Canon law requires that marriage between two Catholics must be witnessed by a priest, bishop or deacon. You deliberately chose to ignore this law, therefore freely and willfully chose to separate yourself from union with the Church. The holiness or worthiness of the person who witnessed your marriage is not the issue–their authority to do so is at question.
The remedy is very simple, confess the sin of disobedience and any other sinful situation that may have arisen from this action, such as sex outside valid marriage, together will all other grave sins, ask to have your marriage convalidated (exchange of vows witnessed properly), return to communion and the sacraments. If you are like most of us married adults, you will benefit greatly from reading a book or taking a course covering the teachings of the late Pope John Paul of the holy and sacred nature of married sexuality, called Theology of the Body.
If you are CAtholic you submit to the authority of the Church over the sacraments and teachings, authority granted by Jesus Christ and protected by the Holy Spirit. To rebel against this authority is to formally or informally rebel against the Church and against Christ himself. It is a grave situation, puts one’s immortal soul in grave danger, but is resolved through understanding, learning, forming one’s conscience properly and taking the steps provided by the Church to heal the problem.
When we don’t understand, doubt, or disagree with Catholic teaching we owe it to ourselves to examine our inner life and find out why, and to educated ourselves. It may be that the issue of authority itself is the problem, so we study the foundation of the Church in the NT and Early Fathers, papacy, sacraficial priesthood and so forth. If the issue lies in understanding the person of Jesus Christ, his humanity and divinity, his salvific action, we begin our study there. If the problem lies with the nature of the sacraments as actions of Christ continually present in and with the Church, we direct our study in that direction.
krissy if you are moved to begin this research and study, it will be a source of great joy, grace and blessings for you and your family.
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Riley259
Guest
I must concur. It seems like our original poster needs a great deal of catechesis to help her understand the tenets of our Catholic faith. Her statement that she doesn’t believe that confession is necessary (but still does it anyway) is very telling and points to her woeful lack of understanding of why the Church teaches as She does. I would recommend the book Catholic Christianity by Peter Kreeft, Catholicism for Dummies (NOTE: that title is not meant to be in reference to our poster) and of course, The Catechism of the Catholic Church…the poster will find all of her questions answered in a very satisfactory way. I’ll pray for her as well.
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
You just have not been catechized very well. Many young people do not understand what the Church teaches about the Sacraments, especially Marriage. There are more canons (rules) on Marriage then any other Sacrament in Canon Law. Catholics are required to follow the Canon Law of the Church when celebrating the Sacraments. They must also complete the necessary Sacramental preparation requirements set by the Bishop. Did the vows contain the necessary words for a valid Sacrament? Did you have the witnesses necessary and the Bishops permissions? Your pastor is also responsible for the celebration of all Sacraments celebrated by his parish members. Did you have his permission?
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Eileen_T
Guest
My daughter is talking marriage with her young man, who is divorced. I talked to her about getting it sorted out and she found it hard to understand why an annullment would be necessary since neither partner was a Catholic.
I also told her that I would be unable to attend if she married outside the Church because it would not be a valid marriage.
I also told her that I would be unable to attend if she married outside the Church because it would not be a valid marriage.
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Seatuck
Guest
Krissy343, I’m confident that if you do some studying and reviewing you will understand and embrace the churches teachings which are scriptural and authoritative. You may not understand everything 100% but you can follow them anyway because Christ left his authority to only one church. He gave his Apostles the power to bind and loose and they have passed that power down within the church .
Believe it or not the Catholicism for Dummies book is one I give as a gift and a lot of people have found it helpful. It is not an insult. Keep asking your questions on this board as well.
Believe it or not the Catholicism for Dummies book is one I give as a gift and a lot of people have found it helpful. It is not an insult. Keep asking your questions on this board as well.
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JimR-OCDS
Guest
Krissy,
God bless you and your husband!
First off, you must talk to a priest.
Second, take the info given to you in this forum with a grain of salt. It may not necessairly be accurate in your situation. Again, talk to a priest.
Third, for you to have committed a mortal sin, you would’ve had to do it with full knowledge and consent. From what you have posted, when you and your husband were married you did not have this. Again, talk to a priest.
Meanwhile, I’ll pray for you and your husband!
God Bless
Jim
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alekzander
Guest
My parents were married in Vegas and because of that I guess they were told they cannot receive communion…now does the church recognize if you were married in a Lutheran church? And if your marriage is not valid in the churches eyes are you then living in sin? Can u go to hell for it? Basically the church does not recognize marriage outside of the catholic church…what about people in the jungles who get married in the customs of their culture…with an elder of the tribe seeing over the marriage…does that count?
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Corki
Guest
If the parties getting married are Catholic, then yes, it is the same as if you are living in sin. That is why you can’t receive Communion. But if the couple do not have any other impediment (such as prior marriages) they can get their marriage convalidated and return to the Sacraments. If the parties are Catholic and living in the jungle, they wouldn’t be getting married by a tribal elder anyway. The Church, however has some provisions for people to get married when they do not have access to clergy for a really long period of time but “custom” doesn’t have anything to do with it. The couple themselves is the minister of the Sacrament.
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alekzander
Guest
So basically anyone who was not married in a Catholic church…there marriage is invalid? Even if it was done by a minister who professes Christ as the savior.If the church recognizes baptism’s from other faiths why not marriage if it is done in the name of the GOD.
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dulcissima
Guest
The Church does, provided neither party to the marriage is Catholic. It is only when a Catholic gets married that it must be by a priest and in a Catholic Church.
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LilyM
Guest
Hold your horses. Only Catholics are obliged to get married in a Catholic church. And it’s not the Church that’s so important - they can sometimes get dispensations to marry elsewhere. But they need the marriage to be in front of a Catholic priest or deacon.
That applies to a Catholic who marries a non-Catholic as well as two Catholics who marry each other. Two non-Catholics can do whatever they like, the Church has no authority over non-Catholics in this matter.
If husband or wife or both later become Catholic, however, they sometimes(though not always) need to take steps to have the marriage recognised by the Church.
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rayne89
Guest
Krissy, I was in a very similar position that you are. I was not taught very well about the faith growing up and married my husband in a wedding chapel by a minister (of what denomination I have no idea). When I learned that the church considered my marriage which I felt was very real was considered invalid it hurt. The thing is incrediably my husband and I weren’t even told when he went through the RCIA program that our marriage was invalid. It wasn’t until I did some reading on my own that I realized that is was invalid. My wedding day was very special to me, it was filled with beautiful memories. God knows our hearts, he judges us by what we know. If you didn’t know, he will not condem you for that. But you do know now.
We had our marriage convalidated in 2004 and I have to tell you it was a beautiful. Our daughter was our flower girl. I had a rosary woven in my bouquet (it wasn’t a full on wedding ceremony meaning I didn’t have a fancy dress and 6 bridesmaids), it was simple and beautiful. We had a pic-nic style reception at the local park where my husband and I met in highschool. I treasure both my wedding days and we celebrate both anniversaries. Both are special but different.
It’s wonderful to see you are open to learning more about your faith. Continue searching and learning. God Bless!
We had our marriage convalidated in 2004 and I have to tell you it was a beautiful. Our daughter was our flower girl. I had a rosary woven in my bouquet (it wasn’t a full on wedding ceremony meaning I didn’t have a fancy dress and 6 bridesmaids), it was simple and beautiful. We had a pic-nic style reception at the local park where my husband and I met in highschool. I treasure both my wedding days and we celebrate both anniversaries. Both are special but different.
It’s wonderful to see you are open to learning more about your faith. Continue searching and learning. God Bless!
S
StevenFrancis
Guest
I thought you were both Catholic? Didn’t you discuss getting married with your Priest before hand? It sure would have saved you a lot of paperwork! Anyway, just put your documents together, and go to your Parish Priest. He’ll get the ball rolling on your convalidation. There were some couples in RCIA that did this. As I saw stated in another post, it can be really beautiful, and you’ll have yet another cherished memory. If you’re Catholics, then you already share in the Catholic traditions and beliefs on marriage, so I guess I’m a little lost on your motives, and how this all came to be in the first place, but it’s really none of my business. I know our parish has couples intending to marry go through classes before they get married, so that this sort of thing doesn’t occur. But even when it does occur, the tribunal just needs to make sure that all of the ncessary elements were present. That is why a representative of the Church is usually witness to a marriage. It is a sacrament, and as such must meet canonical form. I’m pretty new to the Church, and my wife and I, prior to becoming Catholic together were Buddhist, but baptized Four Square Baptist (me), and my wife was an unbaptized Atheist. We were married in her living room by a Southern Baptist Preacher before either of us had even THOUGHT about the Catholic Church. I also had a previous marriage to a Baptized Catholic woman by a Justice of the Peace, in a private home which had to be anulled before I could even be confirmed and accept my first Eucharist in the Catholic Church, and my wife couldn’t even be baptised!!. I know a little bit about paperwork and tribunals. Bottom line is, even this mess all got straightened out, and it was done with compassion, and care by the Church. We both wanted to become Catholic because we were called to do so by God. It was explained to us step by step by our Priest as we were going through all this, and it all made sense when you understand the Sacrament of Matrimony in the context of the Church. It was not just our marriage to each other, but both of us to Christ and his Church as well. It’s worth every minute of work it takes to set things right. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that hard either. You wouldn’t be allowed to participate in any other sacrament without the witness and validation of the Church and/or Her representative. The Sacrament of Matrimony is no different. Please see your Priest about this, and I will pray for you and your husband in the mean time, as many others here will, I’m sure.
Peace be with you,
Steven
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