Never marrieds sign in here

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What I don’t understand is that there is 7 billion people in this world and we are all still single…
 
to anyone who is willing: try online dating! It is great for Catholics who are having trouble finding other devout Catholics. It worked for me

to anyone who isn’t: why not?
 
LadyJulian said:
Celibacy may be great for some people–for others (yeah, that would be me) it is pure misery. I am 56, never married, no children. My dad died 3 years ago after a horrendous 5-year battle with Alzheimer’s (Alzheimer’s always wins :mad: ), so now it’s just me, my 84-year-old mother, and my cat.

I know a lot of ppl find consolation in their brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews etc–but I am an “only child” so I have no one except some cousins who live 250 miles away and have families of their own.

Yes, I have dated, once even was engaged until I realized he was absolutely the worst man I could ever have chosen, so I broke off the engagement. That’s one of the few
decisions I’ve never regretted!! :rolleyes:

Also I am on disability, my family is not rich, and I don’t know what I will do when my beloved mother passes away. :bighanky: I love her dearly, she is my “rock” and always has been. My cat is only 2 years old but I know she won’t live forever either. :imsorry:

I have very very few friends–I once had lots of them but I don’t know what happened, I am now virtually a hermit–and I don’t know how I will manage once I’m all alone. I don’t think I could bear losing my mom and my kitty after the terrible loss of my dad. I always thought I would marry and have children and I so wish I had…but it just didn’t happen.

The mere thought of living alone is intolerable to me.

To be honest–I feel absolutely hopeless about my future. :sad_bye:
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LadyJulian…HUGS…

Yes some of us have been dealt a hand of cards (I’ve been a paraplegic most of my life) that is something of a “fatal flaw” when it comes to marriage prospects.

And it’s hard. It causes pain and deep grief. Birthdays can be torture, holidays even worse. Dont ever let anyone invalidate your feelings. They are real and they are valid.

First of all, you are not alone in carrying this kind of cross. Many of us have it too. 🙂 Knowing that doesn’t make it easier I know. But it is a reality. For many of us, it’s the poverty of our lives.

Second. I think what makes it worse sometimes is that in our culture, we have been fed the “Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Prince Charming” sort of fairy tales and our culture overly romantizes marriage. Heck, people make a great deal of $$$$$$ over romance and selling illusions over couplehood.

The fact is marriage is FREAKING hard. And holy marriage even more so.

When I look around me I think of how many marriages and even relationships that I honestly think are of good quality.

I dont see many. I see many people just jumping from one relationship to another. I see very discontent people. I see very frustrated couples. Angry couples etc.

There are a few relationships that I see that I think are holy marriages, but they are in the minority.

I’m not saying any of this to invalidate your feelings. I know exactly where you are coming from.

I’m see pointing out some of the harsh reality checks that do exist in our culture when it comes to healthy and holy relationships. Giving you the other side of the coin for perspective.

You know what I see happen too? I see a lot of people who, because they are feeling so lonely and desperate, making REALLY bad relationship choices because they are emotionally vulnerable and even fearful of being alone. They make choices out of desperation and not love. It’s sad to see.

Being single can be very lonely and painful.
Being married can also be very lonely and painful. Which to me, is worse

I would rather be single and alone than married and miserable.

Just another perspective to meditate on. Esp as we head off into the holiday season. The holiday season has been so romanticized that it robs of the joy of focusing on the Coming of Our Lord.

What is it that St Augustine said?

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee…”

I pray for a holy and restful Holiday season for you Julian, as you let your heart rest in the Lord.

God Bless.

HUGS to you, Lady Julian. :hug3:
 
Never been married and never considered getting married.

Didn’t think I had the qualities you need to have a successful marriage - too independent in thought and action. Think this was influenced by being an only child of older parents.

Like peace and quiet. Dislike arguments and fights.

Also have hobbies and interests that you tend to do on your own, come together to discuss and then do some more on your own etc etc

Further I never wanted to have children - this decision preceded my decision not to marry.

I once said in jest “I’m not married because I have never met a man who would give me more than he would take away” and realised it was the truth.

I see the value of good marriage where each partner is able to remain themselves, but I know I made the correct decision to stay single.

Age: baby boomer.
 
ChiRho said:
to anyone who is willing: try online dating! It is great for Catholics who are having trouble finding other devout Catholics. It worked for me

to anyone who isn’t: why not?
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You know, a friend of mine tried this. He went on sevral dates, and finally found one, and got married. I was his best man. He came over and set me up on catholic match, And I did’nt get one single responce. I finally got tierd, and cancled my account. So, for some it works great, not for me though.

God bless

jesus g

PS: I forgot to mention, the girl he found was not catholic. She’s JW.
 
ChiRho said:
to anyone who is willing: try online dating! It is great for Catholics who are having trouble finding other devout Catholics. It worked for me

to anyone who isn’t: why not?
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I purchased a subscription to Catholic Match recently, and set up a profile. I haven’t added any pictures yet, or sent any messages, because 1) I don’t have any recent pictures of myself, and 2) I’m not sure that I’m ‘ready’ (as in: losing those last 10 pounds :D). I have gotten a couple of pings from women asking me to post a profile photo.

It’s a bit daunting, especially when I see the profile of the super-amazing super-Catholic woman who lives in my town and is my age, has traveled the globe, has advanced theology degrees, has tons of friends, and…my life seems so small in comparison.

So, I’m trying to go into it hopeful, but without expectations, if that makes sense.
 
chipeto said:
So, I’m trying to go into it hopeful, but without expectations, if that makes sense.
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Then I think you’re going into it with the right attitude. One thing I found that was very important was 1. talk to lots of people and 2. give them a chance even if you don’t “click” at first.

#1 is important because inevitably, there will be plenty of people who won’t be interested, lots of messages that don’t get returned, etc. You have to take this in stride: there’s no reason to get beat up about it.

#2 is important because lots of people write potential mates off because they didn’t feel “magic” the first time they talked or met each other. This is unfortunate because sometimes you have to have several conversations with someone to realize that you have tons in common. This is how it was for me
 
LotusCarsLtd said:
24, single, not liking it as much as I hoped I would. Want to get married someday but meeting Catholic women is difficult for me.

I hope it improves, but sometimes it’s hard, especially when huge numbers of my peers are married and engaged…really makes you feel really left behind.
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Lotus!! You’ve been in my prayers for many months now - I do hope you find the right woman.

:gopray2:

(I, and my soon-to-be fiancé, still thank you very much for starting a thread here last year, about being single…since that’s how we met.)

:blessyou:
 
I’m 49 (serious) and never married, no children either. I was wondering when a person devoted to the faith is too old to marry for the first time. It seems to be suggested that marriage is something to stop pursuing at some point in your life if you are seriously seeking God, as we all must. Where is that line? Can a good Catholic marry for the first time when he is even older than myself, say when retired, could that be God’s call for him or is that most likely being sensual and just a distraction from God because you already know your time is short?
 
chipeto said:
I purchased a subscription to Catholic Match recently, and set up a profile. I haven’t added any pictures yet, or sent any messages, because 1) I don’t have any recent pictures of myself, and 2) I’m not sure that I’m ‘ready’ (as in: losing those last 10 pounds :D). I have gotten a couple of pings from women asking me to post a profile photo.

It’s a bit daunting, especially when I see the profile of the super-amazing super-Catholic woman who lives in my town and is my age, has traveled the globe, has advanced theology degrees, has tons of friends, and…my life seems so small in comparison.

So, I’m trying to go into it hopeful, but without expectations, if that makes sense.
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I met my fiance on Catholic Match. I also really enjoyed the forums.
 
Count me in – single and never married. Gen Xer. Loves Star Wars and has toy lightsaber.

Why single and never married? I am married to my career and the men in my field are freaking crazy! Lovable but crazy. I can take it or leave it, regarding children. It would be nice to adopt. I was engaged a few years ago but thank the Lord that I broke it off! Dodged a bullet there.

I have my preference of what type of man I like and God knows what that is. Could be why God is preventing my marrying, hahaha.

I am not lonely; I have lots of friends but I have perfected alone-time.

So for now, I am spending my time learning how to make my current bf, Our Lord, happy!
 
Mike_tn said:
I’m 49 (serious) and never married, no children either. I was wondering when a person devoted to the faith is too old to marry for the first time. It seems to be suggested that marriage is something to stop pursuing at some point in your life if you are seriously seeking God, as we all must. Where is that line? Can a good Catholic marry for the first time when he is even older than myself, say when retired, could that be God’s call for him or is that most likely being sensual and just a distraction from God because you already know your time is short?
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Hi Mike

Think this depends on the person and the person they meet and want to marry.

I have seen good relationships and bad relationships (as much as you can see inside another’s relationship) where both of those marrying are older and either one or both have not been married before. In my view, a successful later marriage depends on the people involved and they handle things.

My parents married in their late 30’s (younger than you) but both were very set in their ways and during the first years of their marriage had a great very difficulty being part of a couple. Think that part of the reason was that neither fully realised they were in a new situation and expected most things to stay the same.

On the other hand I have met couples who married late in life - sometimes neither being married before, there was certainly a spark there between them and it seemed to continue and/or grow.

Retirement will offer you opportunities to get involved in new activities and so meet a wider range of people. You may find a prospective wife where you don’t expect.

Given your strong faith, it would be important for any prospective wife to either share your faith or to understand it and to be completely supportive of your involvement. If she was not Catholic you would need to check this out while you were “courting” so she would know what was involved both in theology and practice.

Maybe keep your eyes and ears open for couples who married late, some I’ve found are happy to talk about their “late” marriage, sometimes without prompting. Over a period of time this could lead to a deeper discussion about adjusting to later marriage, if this was appropriate.

Kind regards

Salonika
 
Salonika said:
Hi Mike

Think this depends on the person and the person they meet and want to marry.
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Thank You for your considerate reply Salonika. And I agree, she would be a practicing Catholic in my case, among other things. The spiritual compatibility has so much weight in courting going well.
 
30 year old and never married here but deeply desire to do so and have children 😊
 
ChiRho said:
to anyone who is willing: try online dating! It is great for Catholics who are having trouble finding other devout Catholics. It worked for me

to anyone who isn’t: why not?
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On second thought, don’t go further than this thread. Y’all need me to do some Match-making? I’m quite good at it! 🙂

But really, there are a couple of CAF couples from what I gather, so why not give it a shot? You can tell a lot by what people post on here…
 
Hello,

29 yrs old never been married but I am currently in a relationship and I think she is the

one :D.

My family and I just bought a house and now I don’t have money for a wedding :(, I

might post a new topic regarding that 👍.

Since I was 15 I prayed for a girl that I could one day call my wife after being in the

dating game for a while, and being threw my 2nd heart surgery I take it as a blessing

that God has given me the chance to find my other half.

Lady’s and Gents don’t give up on love I think church groups can be a great way to find

someone that has the same passion for Christ and his Church.

God Bless

Praying for the souls in Purgatory :gopray2:
 
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