Never went to confession... need help

  • Thread starter Thread starter StPatrick123
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

StPatrick123

Guest
I am a Catholic who has never been to confession. Ever.

I never went because… well… I thought it was unnecessary.

I have a strong feeling that I need to go. I think God is telling me to go.

I was an awful person when I was young… awful.

I guess I thought that was so long ago… I didn’t need to rehash it all in confession.

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Ugh.
 
That’s understandable that you can’t really talk face to face with a priest about things in your past. So, my suggestion is that you do make an appointment. However, you can try to see if you can get an anonymous appointment in the confessional, behind the screen. Honestly, it may be your best bet.

Whatever the situation, remember, the priest has “heard it all.” You’ll be fine, and I’ll pray for you.l
 
Look in your church bulletin. Most likely there are posted times for confession on Saturday that don’t require an appointment. Show up at those times, wait your turn and go to confession. If you are worried about the procedure, you can find instructions on “how to make a good confession” from a variety of sources with the act of contrition typed out. Also, the priest is an expert, the only thing he doesn’t know are your sins (you supply that part), he can help you with the rest. Go for it!👍
 
Best bet, I think, would be to make an appointment with your priest and ask him to help you make a “general confession.” This will entail going through all the sins of your life, and doing a very detailed cleanup of your whole soul. Like having Merry Maids come into your house and do a deluxe cleaning. 🙂

To prepare ahead of time, I suggest a good Examination of Conscience. Here’s a couple:

catholic-pages.com/penance/examine.asp

ncregister.com/info/confession_guide_for_adults/

Also, here’s a good talk on the Sacrament of Confession by Fr. Larry Richards (audio .mp3 file, free download):

alabamacatholicresources.com/Downloads/Confession.mp3

God bless!
 
StPatrick123 said:
but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth. Ugh.
Click to expand...
First: Welcome to the forums! God, through His Holy Spirit, is truly calling you back - and perhaps just in time, for He is merciful and kind. As to your thoughts about this, consider: you had no fear of living out your youth before God’s eyes, so renouncing all of that error before Him, through His Priest, will help undo what you did. We need no shepherd to stray, but we certainly do need one to rejoin and remain in the fold.

Often our memory fails and we go into a type of “vapor lock” when we confess our sins. Writing down what those sins were, and for how long they persisted, or how many times you committed them is a great help. Bear in mind that the Priest has heard much worse many times over. For a first confession, best to ring the Priest up and make a scheduled meeting with him.

May Christ’s peace be restored within you.
 
“you had no fear of living out your youth before God’s eyes, so renouncing all of that error before Him, through His Priest, will help undo what you did. We need no shepherd to stray, but we certainly do need one to rejoin and remain in the fold.”

God bless you… I like that.

There is a confession time at a church near me tonight.

I have the little book of confessions and I have the long list of the ugliness written down.

Its like another person existed… its not me and hasnt been for such a long time. I hate the thought of telling a Priest all this and him think its my life now. Ick.

God came after me with full force… His love overwhelmed me and I changed. I believe I am forgiven.

Being a lurker here, I read God doesnt hear the prayers of sinners who have not confessed and since I have never been to confession, that bothers me that my prayers for my child, for my family, for my country and even for Chilean trapped miners go unheard.

Thank you all… this has had me in tears for months. I appreciate your words.
 
StPatrick123 said:
“you had no fear of living out your youth before God’s eyes, so renouncing all of that error before Him, through His Priest, will help undo what you did. We need no shepherd to stray, but we certainly do need one to rejoin and remain in the fold.”

God bless you… I like that.

There is a confession time at a church near me tonight.

I have the little book of confessions and I have the long list of the ugliness written down.

Its like another person existed… its not me and hasnt been for such a long time. I hate the thought of telling a Priest all this and him think its my life now. Ick.

God came after me with full force… His love overwhelmed me and I changed. I believe I am forgiven.

Being a lurker here, I read God doesnt hear the prayers of sinners who have not confessed and since I have never been to confession, that bothers me that my prayers for my child, for my family, for my country and even for Chilean trapped miners go unheard.

Thank you all… this has had me in tears for months. I appreciate your words.
Click to expand...
Of all the suffering endured in life, nothing provides a greater sense of relief than the forgiveness of our sins.

Jim
 
How did this situation come about? I don’t understand. You never received reconciliation? Does that mean you never received communion either? Am I reading this wrong? :confused:

O yeah. Remember also that if you forget to mention a sin through no fault of your own it is also forgiven. Just do your best.
 
Kontrak said:
How did this situation come about? I don’t understand. You never received reconciliation? Does that mean you never received communion either? Am I reading this wrong? :confused:

O yeah. Remember also that if you forget to mention a sin through no fault of your own it is also forgiven. Just do your best.
Click to expand...
Baptised Catholic… went through RCIA a long time ago… never went to confession.
 
StPatrick123 said:
Baptised Catholic… went through RCIA a long time ago… never went to confession.
Click to expand...
Maybe you should tell a priest about this. You should be Confirmed too. I’m assuming you haven’t because you have to go to confession before you receive this sacrament as well.
 
Kontrak said:
Maybe you should tell a priest about this. You should be Confirmed too. I’m assuming you haven’t because you have to go to confession before you receive this sacrament as well.
Click to expand...
I was confirmed. The weekend the class was suppose to go… I did not.

We weren’t all going together… just told get it done at any parish over the weekend.
 
I went (at least) 30 years without going to confession and faced this same situation when I came back to the faith. Like you, I did it all and had a lot to confess. It is hard to do, especially if you are worried about getting the format right, etc. I memorized and practiced the act of contrition so that I woudl not have to worry about it and could focus on the actual confession. Maybe that will help you. My advice is tell the priest right up front what your situation is, and even ask for help if you need it. I did not ask for it, but my priest walked me through what we would be doing and then went through each fo the ten commandments and covered the various sins that related to each of the commandments. It took a while but it was worth it. I think most priests would be the same way and would be glad you are coming back and would try to help you.

Someone already linked to one, but find a good guide to confession. At the time I googled “guide to confession” and got some good ones. One of them is done by the Knights of Columbus. The Busted Halo website (which I don’t always recommend for everything but is good for this) used to have a video with a demonstration of confession. That would probably hep you too if you are worried about the mechanics of confession.

Let me tell you, few things in life have left me feeling as wonderful as I felt when I walked out of that booth (and not just because it was over). The feeling of being “clean” was awesome.

Good luck and God Bless…
 
That point should be cleared up, there are Catholics who were Baptised, but then never received 1st Communion / Reconciliation or Confirmation (C.R.&C).

If so, RCIA will clear up those areas. I’d suggest that if you’ve been away from the Church for a long time (and already have had 1st Communion/Reconciliation and Confirmation that you ask to sit in on the classes.

I’m a revert and the RCIA classes have been very helpful.

If you’ve received first C.R.&C I’d suggest using an adult examination guide for Catholics. for your first confession.

One is available online in various places:

ncregister.com/info/confession_guide_for_adults/

There is also a guide to the confessionial process on that website. And the Act of Contrition prayer is there as well and the priest will probably ask that you recite it.

I’d suggest calling the Church office and setting up a separate time with a priest for this confession.
 
My parish use to follow the abusive practice of having First Communion before First Penance. Children in the 2nd grade could receive First Communion, but wouldn’t receive
First Penance until 4th grade. The result was, I had high-school Confirmation students who never went to Confession, yet they had been receiving the Eucharist all those years.

Thankfully, our new Bishop prohibits this abuse and First Penance must be received before First Communion.

Jim
 
StPatrick123 said:
There is a confession time at a church near me tonight.

I have the little book of confessions and I have the long list of the ugliness written down.

Its like another person existed… its not me and hasnt been for such a long time. I hate the thought of telling a Priest all this and him think its my life now. Ick.

God came after me with full force… His love overwhelmed me and I changed. I believe I am forgiven.

Being a lurker here, I read God doesnt hear the prayers of sinners who have not confessed and since I have never been to confession, that bothers me that my prayers for my child, for my family, for my country and even for Chilean trapped miners go unheard.

Thank you all… this has had me in tears for months. I appreciate your words.
Click to expand...
You are a living prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). First words out of his mouth to his father were that he had sinned against heaven and his father, and no longer deserved to be called a son. In a culture where it was undignified for adults to run, the father ran to embrace him, had a robe placed on him and a ring put onto his finger, making the forgiveness and acceptance of his son complete and unconditional. Jesus, Who knows the Father, told this parable for good reason.

You will feel several inches taller upon your exit from the confessional - if your feet touch the earth at all. Christ’s peace be with you.
 
Confession is necessary, but completely wonderful! I can only urge you to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, you should go!

This is a good (free) beginners guide for confession
catholic.org/prayers/confession.php

I can sympathise with your position, I was in a similar boat a few years ago. It just so happened that one of the first Masses I went to after coming to Raleigh was a penance mass, that started my long process of confessing out my past.

With each confession I feel stronger, healthier, happier, I have no doubt you will feel the same. Don’t worry if you can’t remember everything you did in a single confession, if you remember something down the road you missed initially just come back and your next earliest oppertunity.

God bless,
 
Go to confession. It is a wonderful, healing sacrament. Far, far, far too few Catholics take advantage of it regularly. This is something you have missed-out on.

Most important: make an appointment with your priest. This is no big deal, they see many people all the time by appointment. You will probably be asked the purpose when making it, but if not - briefly explain your situation.

Go. The priest will guide you as necessary. Do NOT worry about form (the priest will help). The only thing you need to do in advance is examine your conscience. That is, remember your sins as well as you can. If it helps, make a list. Do NOT worry if you forget any (if you honestly forget, they will still be absolved).

You might be wondering what the priest will think of you. Relax - you will “make his day”!
 
Until this year it had been 17yrs since my last confession. Don’t worry so much about the “ritual” part of it. Just go to your parish, or if you are more comfortable a neighboring parish where your are not “known” by the Priest. Tell him that you have never done this, and he will walk you through the process.

Bringing your troubles and the things that are weighing on you to the Lord is a blessed thing. Scarey…I am right there with you…but blessed, and trust me - I am speaking from 6mths of counseling with my Pastor - there is nothing that will shock them or that they have not heard before.

Confiding in anyone is hard, it involves making yourself vulnerable, but remember, you are not speaking to the Priest, you are speaking directly to the Lord and there is nothing you can hide from him.

Like you, I felt a deep need, a sense of being called to a sacrament I had neglected for far too long, and since I first went back to confession in April, I have been 3 times and I will go again soon.

The only thing I am not sure of, is if you have never studied and prepared for “1st Penance” if you are eligable to take part in the sacrament, but I would not let that stop you. Go and confess…you will undoubtedly feel better.

God Bless
 
StPatrick123 said:
I am a Catholic who has never been to confession. Ever.

I never went because… well… I thought it was unnecessary.

I have a strong feeling that I need to go. I think God is telling me to go.

I was an awful person when I was young… awful.

I guess I thought that was so long ago… I didn’t need to rehash it all in confession.

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Ugh.
Click to expand...
 
40.png
dmpb:
You can do it face to face, or behind a screen. I think that behind the screen would work for your first time. There are probably instructions for the logistics of confession somewhere on Catholic.com. Tell the priest it is your first time and he will help you through it. It is impossible to predict how you confession will affect you. In my personal experience, I felt a great sense of relief and of God’s love when I have gone to confession.
There are two other things I got from going to confession. Once I realized that I was NOT supposed to receive communion if I had unforgiven mortal sin, so I stopped receiving communion at Mass. After going to confession I had a greater respect and appreciation for the Eucharist. The second thing was after thinking about how important it was to be clean before receiving communion, it gave me a deeper understanding of the immaculate conception. In order for Mary to cary Christ for nine months, she had to be clean. I could go on about this because confession has really changed my life. I will include you in my prayers tomorrow and ask that you get the nerve to go ahead and do it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top