Never went to confession... need help

[Brooke449]

St. Patrick 123,
I PROMISE you that you will be fine. Confession will be the greatest experience of your life. Please don’t deny yourself this sacrament. It is so wonderful and you will be so glad that you did it. I promise!!!

 

[CEM5]

I am a Catholic who has never been to confession. Ever.

I never went because… well… I thought it was unnecessary.

I have a strong feeling that I need to go. I think God is telling me to go.

I was an awful person when I was young… awful.

I guess I thought that was so long ago… I didn’t need to rehash it all in confession.

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Ugh.

hello “patrick”

If you never went to Confession (now called the sacrament of Reconciliation), I am assuming that you never had that Sacrament? If you have not received this Sacrament, then you cannot go to confession. You must first receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. What you need to do is contact a Priest (the Priest where you go to Mass), and talk to him about your desire to be reconciled with God for the forgiveness of your sins. If you have any mortal sins, it is sacrilige to receive the Eucharist. But only by speaking with the Priest can one determine if you have any, for to commit a mortal sin you must first know it is mortal, then knowing this, you go ahead and commit that sin.

I would definitely urge you to go, and I believe your feelings are correct in that God is calling you. He calls everyone - He does not want any of us (His children) to be lost. Sadly, not everyone hears, but you are hearing His voice. So PLEASE go and speak to a Priest.

God bless you,:heaven:

 

[CEM5]

P.S.

It is just as Brooke449 – once you confess your sins, you will feel such a tremendous uplifting feeling and happiness. A BIG weight lifted off your shoulders. It is a great feeling, although I do confess that I always hate going, (no one likes that) but I know I must. I have hurt Jesus with my sins, and this saddens me alot (I always cry in the confessional) no matter how “small” my sin(s) may be. Not only have I hurt Jesus, but those sins are a barrier between us the sinner, and God, and it hurts us as well and our relationship with God.

blessings

 

[social]

If you never went to Confession (now called the sacrament of Reconciliation), I am assuming that you never had that Sacrament? If you have not received this Sacrament, then you cannot go to confession. You must first receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. :

This is confusing. Sacrament of Penance, Sacrament of Confession, Sacrament or Reconciliation, Sacrament of Conversion, Sacrament of Healing, Sacrament of Forgiveness-these are all different names for the same thing. See CCC1422-24. You seem to suggest that some prliminary step is required in order to be eligible for Confession/Reconciliation. This is not the case. Confession is for all baptised Catholics. CCC 1446. In an extreme case (i.e., imminent death) even a non-Catholic may receive this sacrament from a priest.

 

[Alexandra]

Back in May I went to my first confession in about 43 years. I had only gone to first confession before that. I had a boatload of sins to confess. I made an appointment to meet with father in his office. I thought I would die as I was getting out of the car to go inside. There were times I held up my “cheat sheet” in front of my face as the embarrassment was so bad. But I got through it, and felt wonderfully cleansed afterwards. It’s difficult, but you’ll get through it.

 

[lutherlic]

This is confusing. Sacrament of Penance, Sacrament of Confession, Sacrament or Reconciliation, Sacrament of Conversion, Sacrament of Healing, Sacrament of Forgiveness-these are all different names for the same thing. See CCC1422-24. You seem to suggest that some prliminary step is required in order to be eligible for Confession/Reconciliation. This is not the case. Confession is for all baptised Catholics. CCC 1446. In an extreme case (i.e., imminent death) even a non-Catholic may receive this sacrament from a priest.

You are right social, many names, all OK. Informally I suspect it will always be called “confession.” It’s more important that people receive it than what they call it.

On your final point - no extreme case is necessary to be received by a non-Catholic. Converts routinely receive the sacrament before their confirmation.

 

[crazzeto]

You are right social, many names, all OK. Informally I suspect it will always be called “confession.” It’s more important that people receive it than what they call it.

On your final point - no extreme case is necessary to be received by a non-Catholic. Converts routinely receive the sacrament before their confirmation.

Confession may be received before actual confirmation, indeed is necessary before first communion which will happen the same day as confirmation for converts. As such, yeah you make a good point. That said, someone who’s baptist, not converting to the faith etc can not receive this sacrament unless the pointed out circomstanses exist.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

My parish use to follow the abusive practice of having First Communion before First Penance. Children in the 2nd grade could receive First Communion, but wouldn’t receive
First Penance until 4th grade. The result was, I had high-school Confirmation students who never went to Confession, yet they had been receiving the Eucharist all those years.

Thankfully, our new Bishop prohibits this abuse and First Penance must be received before First Communion.

Jim

Ya or students who received First Communion and then left in their teens before going to confirmation…I had my First Prenance at 40…

 

[tommee]

Hi: God bless you you’ve taken the first and hardest step.
I just went the same route last fall and believe me I had some of the same fears I’m sure.
Here’s what I did I made and appointment. Than I started praying to the Holy Spirit and Blessed Mother for the ability to do what needed to be done. I went in sat down and sort of laid out my fears and told Father exactly how afraid I was and we kind of broke the ice that way.
No matter what you’ve done you have keep in mind that God already knows All of your sins and he is the one you need to center on. As someone else said Father has heard probably evreything there is to say and if not you get to add to his list of firsts.
Seriously, as hard as it seems the weight off of your heart and mind is going to be SO awesome you can’t imagine, PLUS, and this is the best part you get to receive JESUS with a clean heart free from mortal sin and a brand new start in your life with him.
Continue to ask Mary to intercede for your situation, I’ll pray for you too…Tom

 

[puzzleannie]

I am a Catholic who has never been to confession. Ever.

I never went because… well… I thought it was unnecessary.

I have a strong feeling that I need to go. I think God is telling me to go.

I was an awful person when I was young… awful.

I guess I thought that was so long ago… I didn’t need to rehash it all in confession.

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Ugh.

confession would be unneccessary for someone who has never committed a mortal sin. While Mary, and possibly a couple of saints, might fit this description it does not apply to the average Catholic, which means we all need confession, because we all have been awful, as youths, as adults, and even as old ladies. The comulsion you feel is the grace of the Holy Spirit. Go to confession. Just show up and the scheduled time and tell your story the way you started out here. If the priest needs more time he will suggest an appointment time for you. Just go at the earliest opportunity. Immense grace and peace are waiting for you there.

 

[Bookcat]

If you have mortal sins since your baptism…these must be confessed in number and kind (and circumstances that change the nature of the sin…like the person you murdered is your brother)…and if they are honestly forgotten…one must confess them in the next confession after you remember (but since one must confess mortal sins once a year etc…do not wait too long…)

Call up a good Priest …make an appointment and sit down with him…tell him first that this is your first confession…and how such came about…

 

[Maureen1125]

Alexandra - I have been in spiritual counseling with my Pastor for 5months and every month as I get closer and closer to the church/rectory - we meet in his office - my stomach starts to cramp and I get a bad case of the shakes and I feel like I want to vomit. BUT…regardless, I go. We start every meeting with prayer and once we have prayed, I usually feel better, unless I know that what I have to say/confess is going to disappoint him…then I usually don’t feel better until after I get it all out.

I must give Fr. Jim credit, he has been there for me every step of the way. Nothing I have told him seems to shock him, except for my revelation that I discovered porn at the age of 6, but we won’t get into that here. I am not an easy person to deal with, but Fr. Jim has accepted the challenge, and I must say, he is wonderful and I thank God for bringing him into my life.

 

[crazzeto]

Alexandra - I have been in spiritual counseling with my Pastor for 5months and every month as I get closer and closer to the church/rectory - we meet in his office - my stomach starts to cramp and I get a bad case of the shakes and I feel like I want to vomit. BUT…regardless, I go. We start every meeting with prayer and once we have prayed, I usually feel better, unless I know that what I have to say/confess is going to disappoint him…then I usually don’t feel better until after I get it all out.

I must give Fr. Jim credit, he has been there for me every step of the way. Nothing I have told him seems to shock him, except for my revelation that I discovered porn at the age of 6, but we won’t get into that here. I am not an easy person to deal with, but Fr. Jim has accepted the challenge, and I must say, he is wonderful and I thank God for bringing him into my life.

Sadly I think that this is giong to be very common place moving foward, there’s a huge push to make sex “accessable to children”, teach them that sex is pleasurable and fun =(

Anyway, hang in there. Keep getting past those shakes and anxioties and soldier on bravely, Christ is calling you to the wedding feast of the lamb!

 

[Maureen1125]

Let me just share…I am proud of myself today. I turned down propositions for meaningless sex that will only make me feel worse about myself then I already do, from not just 1 guy, but 3.

This is HUGE for me…lol.

I know it really is not funny, but trust me when I say, this is a HUGE deal. I have counselling Monday with a “real” counserlor and not just Fr. Jim, so I am kinda looking forward to sharing my “success”

 

[lutherlic]

Let me just share…I am proud of myself today. I turned down propositions for meaningless sex that will only make me feel worse about myself then I already do, from not just 1 guy, but 3.

This is HUGE for me…lol.

I know it really is not funny, but trust me when I say, this is a HUGE deal. I have counselling Monday with a “real” counserlor and not just Fr. Jim, so I am kinda looking forward to sharing my “success”

Maureen, it is really hard in today’s world to put sex into proper perspective - but is absolutely worth the effort. There are some really good videos by Jason Evert and his (now) wife Crystalina here on the Theology of the Body. I suggest that you start with this video, then this one.

 

[mark_a]

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Luckily for you, the dread of going to confession is at least 10 times worse than actually being there.

Since you feel God is calling you to go to confession, stop torturing yourself and go asap. You won’t be satified until you do.

Best wishes. Make a list.

 

[Maureen1125]

Lutherlic - I have the CD set of TofB…with Christopher West. I LOVE it, and also in the “answers forum” here under “Chastity” there is some great advice. I have printed out “I want to start over, but I can’t give up sex. What should I do to get back on track?”

I read it once a week to help reinforce my efforts to behave.

 

[Monica4316]

I am a Catholic who has never been to confession. Ever.

I never went because… well… I thought it was unnecessary.

I have a strong feeling that I need to go. I think God is telling me to go.

I was an awful person when I was young… awful.

I guess I thought that was so long ago… I didn’t need to rehash it all in confession.

What do I do? Do I just show up and do it? I know I will receive replys telling me to make an appointment but I seriously cant sit across from a priest and talk about my youth.

Ugh.

Confession is very important as it returns our souls to the purity they had after Baptism and remember we should not receive Communion if we have mortal sin and haven’t been to Confession… if you have, that is something you should confess.

I became Catholic in 2009 and for my first Confession, had many sins to confess. It was really scary at first, but honestly the priests have heard it all…and they are there to give absolution and aren’t judgemental at all. All the priests I’ve talked to in Confession have been gentle and patient. It felt great after Confession, I felt so clean inside, it’s the best feeling.

Don’t be afraid to tell the priest everything and be open with him… like I said, they’ve heard everything, and you can’t shock a priest with your sin. You have a choice of either confessing face to face, or anonymously. If you want more time, it might be a good idea to make an appointment with the priest… there are also scheduled Confession times usually on Saturday, but there might be many people there so the priest might not have enough time. My first Confession was scheduled, the priest knew who I was, but I confessed behind the screen. You don’t have to do a face to face Confession if you make an appointment, you still have a choice.

Most importantly, be open with the priest, don’t hide anything, and trust in God’s mercy. Then the Confession will be effective for your soul. And - don’t be afraid priests have heard hundreds of Confessions, and they are there to give God’s forgiveness, not to comment on your sins or judge you.

There are many ‘examinations of conscience’ that are available online… it’s a good idea to look one up, write down all the sins you can remember… the sins you forget will be forgiven too, but not anything that you intentionally leave out (so be open. It’s not as scary as it seems). When you come to Confession, say “Bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been (this much time) since my first Confession”. If you’ve never been to Confession, say “this is my first Confession”. Then say your sins. Try to approximate the number of times you did each sin, but if you don’t remember, it’s alright to say something like “several times”, or “many times”. In the end, the priest might give you some advice, give you a penance (usually prayers), and then the absolution. Then you make the sign of the Cross, and you can say something like “thank you father”, and you’re done!

God bless!

 

[Monica4316]

“you had no fear of living out your youth before God’s eyes, so renouncing all of that error before Him, through His Priest, will help undo what you did. We need no shepherd to stray, but we certainly do need one to rejoin and remain in the fold.”

God bless you… I like that.

There is a confession time at a church near me tonight.

I have the little book of confessions and I have the long list of the ugliness written down.

Its like another person existed… its not me and hasnt been for such a long time. I hate the thought of telling a Priest all this and him think its my life now. Ick.

God came after me with full force… His love overwhelmed me and I changed. I believe I am forgiven.

Being a lurker here,** I read God doesnt hear the prayers of sinners who have not confessed** and since I have never been to confession, that bothers me that my prayers for my child, for my family, for my country and even for Chilean trapped miners go unheard.

Thank you all… this has had me in tears for months. I appreciate your words.

I don’t know if God hears or doesn’t hear prayers when we’re in mortal sin… I’ve always thought that He does. He certainly hears prayers of repentance. God knows everything. but what Confession does, it is makes us free from sin… it makes our souls completely pure, and we’re able to love God like we haven’t previously. I’ve only been Catholic for around a year, but in my experience, it’s done a lot.

God bless you

 

[lutherlic]

Lutherlic - I have the CD set of TofB…with Christopher West. I LOVE it, and also in the “answers forum” here under “Chastity” there is some great advice. I have printed out “I want to start over, but I can’t give up sex. What should I do to get back on track?”

I read it once a week to help reinforce my efforts to behave.

Those are wonderful materials.

You have to really want to move away from sin more than wanting the false “benefits” it offers. Prayer, confession and the counsel of your priest are all important. I am a big fan of Eucharistic Adoration too. Go there (instead of a party that may lead to sex) and ask Our Lord for help.