The problem being the difference of opinion. If she thinks it’s a valid reason it is; if he thinks it isn’t, it isn’t. Logically, this is inconsistent.
I am afraid I must have been unclear. Sure, it might be a valid reason for her to postpone, BUT she is not saying that she has a moral imperative to postpone. He is saying that he has a moral imperative NOT to postpone. That is the fundamental difference. She is saying that she can, without violence to her conscience, purposefully refrain from having children at this time. She is not, so far as I can tell, saying that her conscience says she MUST refrain. He IS saying that his conscience is speaking here. They are not in disagreement that having a child at this time would be moral. So far as I have seen, the OP has not posted that she thinks it would be
wrong to have a child now. Frightening, yes. Wrong, no.
This is why I stated that
his conscience was speaking here in a way that hers was not.
So a strong conscience trumps other people’s opinions? Perhaps his conscience in this matter is poorly formed. Perhaps they should talk with a preist together to discern whether the OPs motives are serious enough to use NFP. Why should his opinion simply trump hers?
I think that I have addressed this above. You see, he
is offering an alternative. He is suggesting postponing the wedding. That way his conscience is clear, and she does not have to face the fear of going to school with a child. I fail to see where his position is wrong.
“Comfort” is a misrepresentation of the OPs reasons. She has elaborated that further study is very necessary for a reasonable job prospect. She wants to be ready to provide for her family if needed. It’s hardly a frivolous or selfish motive.
As someone who completed her entire Master’s degree after marriage–and pregnant and with a child or two–I would say that her desire to complete her degree is fine. It is simply a matter of comfort when it comes to doing this before or after children.
To be fair, she said this difference of opinion has only arisen in the past couple of weeks. They are well progressed towards marriage already, so it’s a little unfair to call her demanding.
But perhaps they should postpone (as I suggested anyway). But not because she isn’t loving enough and is too demanding, but because she’s on the path to marrying a man who potentially doesn’t respect her opinion.
I’d also add…if her reason is serious enough that they should postpone their marriage, then why would it not be serious enough to use NFP?
What I am seeing here is that the fiance does not consider this motive sufficient for NFP. The OP does. Either he is required to do violence to his conscience (and practice NFP according to her desire), or they wait. He would like to be married
and be willing to accept children. She would like to be married and
not accept children … at least not yet. Postponing their wedding does not require that either of them go against their consciences or deal with the uncomfortable fear of pregnancy in school. Marrying and practicing NFP requires the fiance to go against his conscience. Marrying and not practicing NFP requires the OP to deal with the, for her, uncomfortable fear of pregnancy in school, but she is not required to do something she considers morally improper.
