No Congratulations for us!

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Congratulations on your strong faith & your beautiful family! I would ask you to continue being patient with those around you. So many of us have fallen asleep & slowly allowed evil to seep into our lives. The popular culture & our education systems indoctrinates us. Less than 10 years ago I was thrilled with my 2 kids & comfortable that that number of children would not add to the “population problem”. Thanks to the grace of God I now think differently. Not everyone has accepted God’s graces yet. We need to be patient with them.

A friend of mine has 5 children & took terrible heat from her family. Now that the youngest are a little older & their family is thriving, she says her family is starting to come around. You can be a beautiful example to others & evangelize by your actions.
 
With #1 we heard “congratulations”; #2 was “oh, a girl! Are you having any more or going to stop since you have a boy and girl?”; #3 not too many comments (he came about 3 yrs after #2, but still most everyone I knew had only 2, and I was “odd-man out”!; #4 we heard "congratulations, but with reservations in the voices (even from family), and “Boy are you brave!” “Wow, 4 children…what does your husband do for a living?”
Now with #5, (now 13 mos) “Well, now you have one more mouth to feed!” Or, “Are all these YOUR children?” “You are just crazy!” “You’re Insane!” Or, “I can tell you how to fix that!” Most are from strangers. And often, just stares, yes, HARD stares (the kind you can feel) in the grocery store, the mall, or wherever, as if we are rare zoo animals. People have compared having large families to how animals behave and I even heard a radio show equate large families to “white trash”, and proceeded to make fun. (heard in CA) Its just sickening! A real mockery of the family.

Its interesting how in our society, we sanction the killing of unborn children and promote population control in all forms and call it “reproductive rights”, but when a woman wants to exercise her God given “fertility rights” she is chastised and she is seen as ignorant and people feel they need to comment or correct! How deceived we are!

We are delighted to have 5 and can’t wait for more. #5 was a real surprise but a blessing, (he came 26 mos after my 4th) especially to my older children who get the opportunity to love and sacrifice even more.

Congratulations to you and thank you for saying yes to life. Having babies is not easy, and it is a sacrifice. But it is one that God asks you to make, and is a part of your marriage vocation. You will hear many comments and you will probably be stared at by many. Just remember who your judge is. (and theirs). Thank you for being faithful and best wishes.
 
Congratulations and God bless you!!! All babies are gifts from God. 🙂
 
Well you sure came to the right place!

*:dancing: Congratulations! :clapping: *

Drop by more often & you’ll find lots of support that might (hopefully) take away a little of the sting of your disappointing “real-life” community.

God bless!
 
Congrats! We’re also expecting our third. Both my husband and I come from families where 2 children are the limit for the past three generations (!!) add that to the fact that we’re converts from families either very anti-Catholic or very anti-religion of any sort, and you can imagine the type of comments we’ve been getting (“brainwashed by the patriarchy” and “responsible for urban sprawl and worldwide famine” are my favorites). Since we have a girl and a boy, people expected we were “done”, since we had our matched set. Anything else must be an “accident”, right? grin

Since we’re not “done” yet, but are open to God’s will for us, I shudder to think what the reaction will be to baby no. four, should God see fit to bless us with more children.

So congratulations to you on your third, congrats to those of you with the generosity to have large(r) families, congrats to those of you with “only” one or two who have remained open to life, and congrats to those of you who are bearing the cross of infertility while staying firm in your faith.

As Tiny Tim would say, “God Bless us, every one!”

Cheers,
Cari
 
If you really want to freak people out, tell them you’re expecting your THIRD child who you hope will be your “middle child.” 😛
 
carol_marie said:
If you really want to freak people out, tell them you’re expecting your THIRD child who you hope will be your “middle child.” 😛
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:rotfl:One of my co-workers said that recently when his wife had their 6th (3 boys and 3 girls) :eek:
 
CONGRATULATIONS!!! recently at a family function, i asked my sister-in-law who is in her early 30’s if they were considering to have more children. their first is 16 months. her comment was that she thought it would be selfish of her to consider even having another with her career and all!! my heart sank. imho i think that it’s a cop out to not have anymore. it is said they day and age that we live in to see this attitude. my grandmother had 22!!! not all lived at birth but even still… can you even begin to imagine??
 
Congratulations!! 🙂

I am told that after the sixth child, people stop commenting.

Meanwhile, just tell people that you’re preparing for your retirement the old-fashioned way. 😉
 
CONGRATULATIONS!

As other said, Thank you for being open to life and a wonderful example for all of us.
 
kolchak said:
no one with whom I work (I’m a teacher) has congratulated us, no one! .
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:eek:

Teachers, of all people, should appreciate the gift of children. That’s my personal and professional opinion, as a teacher myself. I mean, if nothing else, you are enhancing the job security of those in our profession! 😃

So…

Congratulations!!!👍

Edit: I note you live in CA. I used to live there too. I think people there (especially teachers, I’m sad to say) tend to be more prejudiced against large families.
 
Congratulations to you and your wife, kolchak! Three is a good opening volley! I hope these first three and the next seven are all holy, happy and healthy! 😃

I remember back in my more desolate days, talking with a friend of mine, a good Catholic mother of four with plans to have more, and asking why so many? She looked at me as you would at a slow child and said, “Someone must repopulate this world with good people.”

:amen:
 
TheHem said:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! recently at a family function, i asked my sister-in-law who is in her early 30’s if they were considering to have more children. their first is 16 months. her comment was that she thought it would be selfish of her to consider even having another with her career and all!! my heart sank. imho i think that it’s a cop out to not have anymore. it is said they day and age that we live in to see this attitude. my grandmother had 22!!! not all lived at birth but even still… can you even begin to imagine??
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I second the poster who advises against pointedly asking this kind of a question. It is the kind of thing that can send a young mother who cannot have more children running from the room in tears. When there are barriers to conception, whether personal or physical, people very often don’t share that. You are walking into a mine field. Let me tell you, when we were trying to get pregnant, there were times I really had to bite my tongue to keep myself down to, “Well, blessings come when God sees fit to send them.”

I would not go so far as to avoid the topic altogether, but just wouldn’t ask personal questions. For instance, asking a mom how she’s feeling and commenting that perhaps she’ll be lucky enough to have more lets her know you are supportive, but also lets her pass over the subject without discussing her hopes and fears with you, if she doesn’t want to.

I would also not be too hard on someone who expresses a fear that they won’t have enough time or energy for more children, but rather encourage them and let them know that judging by what a good parent he or she is at present, they are quite capable of doing it. Also point out that a second child does not take away family from the first child, but adds to the family the child will have to support her through life. Without siblings, you have no aunts or uncles for your own children. Besides, that 30+ year-old mom isn’t going to live forever. When she is gone or even when she is old and needs care, her son or daughter won’t think she was selfish to have left him or her with siblings…and will be most likely to thank their parents for their generosity!

There are many only children out there who do not feel cursed by having been only children, but I don’t know of any kids who think their parents were “selfish” for not having stopped at one.
 
BLB_Oregon said:
I second the poster who advises against pointedly asking this kind of a question. It is the kind of thing that can send a young mother who cannot have more children running from the room in tears. When there are barriers to conception, whether personal or physical, people very often don’t share that. You are walking into a mine field. Let me tell you, when we were trying to get pregnant, there were times I really had to bite my tongue to keep myself down to, “Well, blessings come when God sees fit to send them.”
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And I third that poster. As half of an infertile couple (at 2.5 years of unexplained infertility), it’s bad enough knowing that everyone wrongly assumes we are contracepting. It’s even worse when people ask us “So when are you going to have a kid?” Because of course when we explain that it just doesn’t happen for us, everyone has well-meaning but unwelcome advice on what we must be doing wrong, “just relax and it will happen”, “try this, it works every time”, etc. Yeah, if it’s moral, licit, and within our means, we’ve probably tried it. We’re both biologists, know NFP, and are reasonably intelligent. We’ve accepted that God doesn’t permit everyone to bear children, or to bear as many children as they would like to have. It bothers me when others can’t accept that fact.

Sorry to go off topic, but this is a big issue for me.
 
Congrats!

I am pg with our second and have heard a bunch of rude comments so I can understand. We got rude comments from family before anything else. Thankfully we had told church friends first since they were all happy for us.
 
I don’t have any first-hand parenting advice to give, but

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I’m one of five kids, and I know my parents have gotten all kinds of looks and comments (I’m 15 years older than my youngest brother). The world doesn’t know or understand God’s plan! Know that your children are all blessings, and that you, as Catholic parents open to life, are an inspiration!
 
Congratulations and God Bless!!

My mother had four, came from a family of 9 children, my father was one of seven. They were not Catholic (I am, by the grace of God!). To the best of my knowledge, they were not criticized.

Not by choice, I married late and have no biological children.

But I am a substitute Grandfather of a half-dozen, and despite being considered “wierd” by some, am happy to be the harried legal guardian of three of them.

Children are a blessing that may not always be recognized.
 
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