No sense of community

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joshrp

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Hi,

I feel like I have no sense of community in the Catholic Church. I believe everything that the magisterium teaches, but it just seems like we are all a bunch of loners who believe the same things. I just don’t feel a sense of community in the parishes I go to, the one I go to for adoration and my college parish. This was the most difficult thing for me when I was trying to join the Catholic Church. I just feel like there is no depth between people in the Church. I don’t know what it is, and maybe this isn’t the case everywhere, but it seems to be a general trend with modern culture as a whole, and it just seems to rub off on the church, that there is just a loss of the sense of a common community. Catholic doctrine and teaching are all true, but there seems to be a gap between what we believe and the results. Not that it is necessarily anyone’s fault or that we aren’t trying, but something is missing from the dynamic within Catholic culture and what should be a strong sense of community. There is some serious social fragmentation going on in the world, and we are all effected by it, and it is probably the biggest hindrance to evangelization. Jesus said that all will know that we are His followers because we love one another. I am having trouble knowing how to love others because there just seems to be a great dearth of heroic love today. I want to help lead the way in this heroic love, and we all need to help each other. Maybe I am just rambling. It just seems that whenever someone tries to go out of their way, it fizzles out, and doesn’t multiply throughout the whole community. When I hear stories of past generations and how everyone helped each other out, and it was like a large family, I wonder if we have lost something that we once had.

How can I help restore the sense of a loving community in my parishes and college campus?

Joshua
 
Have you been on an ACTS retreat?

It’s parish-based and strengthens the community.

Look into it and if you don’t have one, maybe this is your calling!

If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.
 
I don’t think you’re describing the Catholic Church as much as society itself. When I was a child, it seemed that the parish was really part of the neighborhood. You were born in that parish, met a girl in that parish, married in that parish and died in that parish.

Nowadays people are so mobile they move miles away from their home parish. Then, once a month they return for a Mass, which might be the only time they go to Church.

It’s not just church. When I look at the people I work with, they’re scattered as well. It’s not uncommon for people to drive 30 miles one way to get to work. It used to be that people would go for a beer after work, but now no one has the time because they always have a two hour commute to get home.
 
I wish there was a greater sense of community. I’m thankful for the Wednesday night suppers my Anglican church has weekly. That makes a big difference. 🙂
 
Try getting involved in your parish (if you are not already). Instead of just attending mass every Sunday, volunteer to be a Lector, Eucharistic minister, go to Bible study, etc. Get involved with the Parish Council, help makes some changes in your parish if they are needed.👍
 
You need to join in on whatever group activities are available in your area (Scripture Study, RCIA sponsorship, Eucharist ministry, Liturgy Committee, Young Group ministry, etc.)

Additionally, look for committees in our community that answer the call of the Beattitudes (ProLife volunteer, Hospice volunteer, Hospital volunteer, Area on Aging volunteer, etc.)

In the community committees you’ll find a gathering of Catholics and non-Catholics who share your passion.
 
What about finding creative ways to share the richness of the Catholic faith through word and deed with others on campus who don’t know or agree with it? Outreach really binds people together, a common goal of loving others to the faith. It’s what we should really be about. It’s great that you see this need, perhaps God is leading you to help your community in this.
 
I’ve been lurking on the Catholic Answers Forum for quite a white, and this post made me decide to actually register and post, because I agree completely and I have an issue with this, and it frustrates me!

I’m trying to grow in my faith, but it’s hard to do that alone. When most of your friends don’t have catholic values it makes you the loner, and you don’t really have anyone to talk to about your faith. I believe that one thing that will really help me be a better catholic would be to be around fellow Catholics, and be friends with them. I’m 22, and at most of the time there’s hardly anyone around my age at mass, and if there is what am I supposed to do? Run up to them after mass and say “Hey let’s be catholic friends!” that would be weird. This would be extra weird if if she were a cute girl (Hey, If I’m going to date someone I’d rather her be catholic. with no sense of community this seems impossible.)

It seems that protestants have all kinds of bible studies and fun little community things in which they are all a family of friends in which together they can grow in their faith. there seems to be none of this for us Catholics. Just like you said joshrp, it’s like we’re all loners in our faith. I see what my “non denominational” friends (or whatever they call themselves) have with their community of religious friends, and it’s beautiful! I want that! but there’s nothing for us. It’s a little disheartening.

I even had a conversation about this with a non catholic friend, and his main gripe with the church is that he feels that it’s not very welcoming (IE no sense of community)
 
Barbkw said:
You need to join in on whatever group activities are available in your area (Scripture Study, RCIA sponsorship, Eucharist ministry, Liturgy Committee, Young Group ministry, etc.)

Additionally, look for committees in our community that answer the call of the Beattitudes (ProLife volunteer, Hospice volunteer, Hospital volunteer, Area on Aging volunteer, etc.)

In the community committees you’ll find a gathering of Catholics and non-Catholics who share your passion.
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At my parish at the university, I lector a lot. I also am involved in the music ministry. But it seems like once everyone leaves the Church, its like everyone goes their own separate ways.

The volunteer suggestions you made I will take up. I have been thinking about getting involved in prolife activities for a while. I have been wanting to volunteer a lot, but it just seems like no one is making it easy for people to get involved. It feels like hunting for a job in a bad economy when I am trying to just volunteer. I have to dig for leads.

I’ve talked to my pastors and campus ministers about starting Scripture studies, but we have like only one this semester. I’ve asked about starting prayer groups and they said students are usually too busy. Too busy for PRAYER!!!??? Should be like too busy NOT TO PRAY together!!!

Plus, I need to pray with someone regularly. My mind is so disorganized.
 
Bryan77 said:
I’m 22, and at most of the time there’s hardly anyone around my age at mass, and if there is what am I supposed to do? Run up to them after mass and say “Hey let’s be catholic friends!” that would be weird.
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😃 I’ve thought the “catholic friends” line a few times and I even go to a young adults’ Mass. I’d so like to be friends, but everyone clears out 5 minutes after dismissal. Getting involved in the groups and ministries has helped a little, in that I can at least nod to people I recognize. People just don’t mingle outside their groups/SO at the socials, though. How fun. :rolleyes:
 
Also, I just feel like an outsider when I am in Church. I lector, I sing in the choir, but it just feels like I don’t belong. I believe in everything the Church teaches, and I love to understand the faith more, and I am trying to apply it. I feel like the members of the Church have become “atomized”. Where is our holy communion. I don’t feel a sense of communio, and I don’t think anyone else does either. I don’t feel like we are all one Body with Christ as the Head. It seems much worse torture has been done to Christ’s Body, after His passion and death than was done during it.

Please everyone continue to pray for a true Holy Communion amongst all the Catholic faithful. I don’t think we are going to bring non Catholics into the fold if we are not in Communion with each other in Christ the Head.

I’ve got the theology and doctrine worked out, but somehow I’ve got to apply it to practice. I can’t do this alone. This is not about me getting involved in a parish like being a Catholic is some kind of career choice.
 
Also, I am kind of weary of this “get involved in the parish activities” sort of approach to being Catholic. Why should we have to form committees and all these formal programs to live our Catholic faith with each other. How many people study the Church’s teachings and documents just casually. Why aren’t people saying to each other “Hey, the Pope wrote a new encyclical. Do you want to go read it after dinner?” We don’t do stuff like that. Why don’t people ever say to each other “Hey, do you want to read the Bible together sometime?” How many Catholics casually read the Bible together today? Do we have better things to do with each other than sit and study God’s revelation to His Church together? Do we find the Bible boring or something? Do we have to form a committee and schedule a special event to read the Bible together? If you make Bible reading a regular part of your casual activities with others, than I congratulate you for it.

I think this is what I am going to do from now on. I am just going to ask people if they would like to read the Bible with me, instead of asking about going to eat or watching a movie or whatnot. I’ll ask people, “Would you like to go to get dinner and read and discuss something from the Bible later?” If we are not reading the Bible together as something we love to do together whenever we get the chance, are we really serious about living our faith with each other? Are we then really serious about converting the world to Christ and His Church if we are not making the revelation that was passed to us by the Church from God our main focus of discussion and learning with each other?
 
This is my experience too. I know my Priest at least because he is instructing me in the faith, but no one else has spoken to me at the Parish, and there is not any kind of gathering after.

I guess we need to get involved in groups outside the Mass. It is lonely when you have no friends or family that are Catholic.
 
We consume every other medium of literature, music, film, sports, etc. together but how many people make reading God’s Word out loud TOGETHER their main source of FUN. God forbid that reading and discussing the Bible is fun. We will watch LOST reruns for 24 hours straight together. It’s not even just Bible illiteracy. It’s Church illiteracy and Communion illiteracy. We don’t make regular reading of the Bible part of our Communion with each other as Catholics. To the early Christians the revelation of God through our Savior Jesus Christ was THEIR WHOLE LIFE! Early Christianity was a dialogue and can you imagine how excited the early Christian communities must have been when they received a letter from St. Paul or one of the apostles. They read it in groups, probably discussed it a lot. Can you imagine what getting the first printed copy of the Gospels was like for them. Did they preserve and reproduce all those copies to pass down to all future generations these documents BY HAND BY HAND BY HAND (no printing presses folks!) for us to only read a few paragraphs together on Sunday, (well some people go during the week, but that is very few). Why is the only time we hear the Word of God together (and it is meant to be spoken and heard by the way) is at daily or Sunday Mass and we have to do all kinds of administration and organizing to schedule a Bible study class or whatnot? Something is wrong with our Catholic culture when it never even occurs to us to ask each other to read the inspired Word of God together just as a casual common thing. Do you think we can start doing this now? Does anyone do this with each other, outside of Mass or a formal Bible study?
 
What makes you say that Catholics have to privately get together to read and discuss the Bible or Papal Encyclicals? Do you think we get closer to the truth that way, as if Truth is arrived at by study and consensus rather than revealed?

It’s like saying that people who are serious about politics (especially young people) need to get together to do a line-by-line parsing of the latest bills being discussed on Capitol Hill. Of course they don’t.

Remember St Paul’s saying about feeding people on milk at first and only then getting to the meat when they’re good and ready for it? Private study of scripture and the like is the meatiest meat, and not everyone is nearly ready for it.

Besides which, what do you think CAF is, chopped liver? THIS is as good a place as any to discuss your favorite bits of scripture or the latest encyclical.
 
When you get together at ministries, etc. start collecting cell phone numbers and names. Call folks and just say hello and ask if they’d have time for a Coke or coffee at a local shop. Coffee shops around colleges are connected to internet for laptop studies. It’d be fun to connect to Catholic Answers and discuss questions that people ask here.

In my opinion, being an RCIA sponsor has been the most supportive way to form and develop community. You attach to the group and to your catechumen - it’s a beautiful spiritual relationship.

Or, start your own Scripture study group and ask to host it at the Church in a small social hall. The group I belong to, we each buy the workbook and then we donate a $1 a visit, the session is 60 to 75 minutes long and we use a workbook and we recite the Scripture passages and the Catechism passages and then we discuss each question. We have coffee and fruit or some dessert there for food. It’s really low key, we have over 50 people at that study. All of our names, addresses and phone numbers are on a call sheet and that is really helpful to learn names and personalities.
 
Bryan77 said:
It seems that protestants have all kinds of bible studies and fun little community things in which they are all a family of friends in which together they can grow in their faith. there seems to be none of this for us Catholics.
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So do Catholics!

1.) I’m doing a study of St. James, and I & II Corinthians now, St. John last year, and The Great Bible Timeline the year before last. St. James ends Dec. 6th, and Psalms starts after the new year. We advertise in various parish bulletins, and get a few people from other parishes taking bible studies.

2.) Dr Edward Sri, Thomas Smith, and a few seminary professors have come to our parish for lectures on various Catholic topics. Father M is giving lectures on Monday nights about the new Mass translation.

3.) We have mini classes. One of our mini classes was “How to Pray”, it was excellent, a crash course in Lectio Divina.

4.) Last night, was our parish All Saints potluck and party. The kids of various ages dressed up as saints, gave us clues, and we had to guess who they were. I was serving the wine, and talking with lots of people.

5.) Father M asked me to lead the Rosary before 11 AM Mass. I will start Nov. 13th.

6.) I’m a member of our Right to Life committee. We put out 3300 crosses ( abortions in America every day) in a field next to the main road leading to our church, put up banners with phone numbers for help. It was a parish project, and quite a few people turned out to help. Once again, I met a lot of people.

7.) We have Cenacles of Life every Tuesday night. We pray the rosary for the end of abortion. We get quite a few people from other parishes joining us.

8.) Last year, I was a RCIA sponsor. I sponsored a wonderful young woman. I loved being a sponsor, helping someone come into our beloved Church, once again, met tons of people.

My points are: maybe, it’s your parish. It was in my case, I switched parishes, because the other parish wasn’t a good fit for me. They were perfectly happy where they were, but I needed more.

Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer! I meet lots of people, make a few friends, and enjoy myself immensely.
 
I know what the OP means. In my parish, there are a lot of old-timers and a lot of young professionals constantly on the move. A handful of people are disinterested, and some are just plain grumpy. There are some heavy crosses out there, though, and I make it a point not to read too much into someone’s coldness. Not everyone is as blessed with grace as the next person, even among the faithful.

Something to think about it getting to know the office receptionist or another staffer. He or she can introduce you to other active members of the parish. And, of course, getting to know your priest(s) inside and outside of the confessional helps.

Pray for unity and brotherhood!

“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
 
Josh, you are not the only convert who feels this way.

This is something I am praying about because I believe we lose a lot of souls because of what appears to be a lack of community.

The way I hope to help in my own way is to be as friendly as possible (not in an annoying way) with newcomers.

I don’t know if Catholics do this, but I want to be able to tell a Catholic friend that I’m going through something and for that friend to ask, “Would you like to pray?”.

A true sense of community and caring.
 
Hey Joshua,

I believe I just replied to another thread of yours. I’m sorry your campus ministry isn’t any better. I’m SO fortunate to be at a secular state university and to have an AMAZING campus church and ministry. I converted just this part Easter, so I’m only now really starting to make friendships, but right now my Catholic friends are starting to become my good friends.

I will be praying for your church! I think that’s really the best thing to do.

Another wonderful thing would be to have Adoration. Having the Blessed Sacrament on campus can do amazing things. We have Adoration daily for an hour each morning and all day Adoration one day of the week. Our church also has sisters who live across from the chapel, and they have Adoration in their house another day each week. We have Praise and Worship Adoration for an hour each week, which is amazing. If you can get some musicians together (all we have as a pianist, a few singers, and maybe a guitarist), they can put together some music when you have Adoration. You could then make events on facebook to invite your church friends to come.

Some other things my church does to create community…We have suppers after our 5pm Mass on Sundays. We have a game night once a week for social gathering. We have frisbee on Fridays, volleyball on Wednesdays, and basketball on Saturday mornings. I think there’s soccer once a week too. There is so much community at my campus church, it’s really amazing. I go to a Bible Study and lead one. Mostly it’s because we have FOCUS missionaries, and they’re awesome about Bible studies. I also teach Sunday school, and I know some others lead a youth group for middle school and high school kids who are permanent community members. One of the most powerful things we do is the Koinonia Retreat (it’s Greek for ‘community’). I think it’s a national thing so definitely look into it! It is AMAZING.

An easy thing you could do is create a facebook group for your campus church. We have one, and people will post events, prayer requests, and sometimes just funny comments. That way you can have all the students together and it would be easy to find those who are interested in community!

Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman is the patron of college ministries.
 
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