No sense of community

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In our everyday lives it can become easy for us to forget we are one big family, that we are all Gods children together.We may forget to extend that ‘family’ spirit to others and be rushing off from Mass to tend to family needs.
Some people have the time to become involved in parish activities for others this may not be possible with work and family commitments.

When I was younger I was a member of the Legion of Mary and thoroughly enjoyed visiting and praying with elderly and ill members of our parish.I also was active in our choir for years.Just over a year ago we moved to a new parish.Prior to moving I belonged to the ‘Churches Together’ organisation as a representative for our praish.This was quite a bit of commitment with regular meetings and functions.

Our current praish has a Christmas meal at a local restaurant for all parishioner to go to and socialise…it seems a great idea but we will go next year.

We don’t often have time after Mass to stop for coffee etc as I have a family I have to get home to with needs! I used to but don’t often have the time sadly. I wonder how many people may be in this position of wanting to socialise after Mass or belong to parish activities but have other commitments?

Joining in to parish activities is a good way to make friends.
 
Bryan77 said:
. I’m 22, and at most of the time there’s hardly anyone around my age at mass, and if there is what am I supposed to do? Run up to them after mass and say “Hey let’s be catholic friends!” that would be weird.
(IE no sense of community)
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Here’s a radical idea!! How about the “little old ladies” at the bake sale? Or (usually the same group) of “little old ladies” who clean the Church. And their male counterparts often members of the knights of columbus or other organizations.That are always hoping for knew members. I was (at 39 yrs.) one of the youngest adults in my parish. It was kind of lonely not having more people I could relate to. By accident( cause they needed younger people to lift heavy baking pans and help haul baked goods) I ended up hanging out with a group whose average age was probably about 76. I had the time of my life and found what I needed. Friends who value and live their faith.They eagerly embraced me as part of the Community.

To often younger people in the Church are guilty of what we accuse others in society of- not valuing the treasure we have in our elderly. --And guess what! Often times older Catholics also have younger grandchildren who also share the faith.

In our Archdiocese we have ministries for "young adults- like “Theology on Tap” maybe such things aren’t available to you. SO STart one! But don’t discount the gift of friendship that awaits sitting in the first three pews with grey, silver and occasionally still blue hair.
 
I’m sorry you guys are having a hard time finding a sense of fellowship in your parishes. I’ve been fortunate to belong to parish where the complete opposite is true. I could write a list as long as TheRealJulianne or maybe eve longer if I include all the different music ministries.

There are around 6 parishes within 10 miles of me so I just chose the most active one lol! I did go to the others and they all had some ministries but they were just not as attractive to me. I also found some cliques in them which can sometimes make it difficult but I have found cliques everywhere i’ve gone including where i am now. I think its pretty much human nature.

Maybe some of you can explore parishes in the area if possible? I think once you find one ministry that you feel called to and start at the bottom you will be pleasantly surprised. I find that being humble when you are new and just doing whatever is most needed is very important in building trust with the leaders of the different ministries.

Don’t go too crazy though because you might find yourself in the other side of the spectrum. I recently had to leave a ministry because I was just so overwhelmed with all the different activities I was supposed to attend. I was literally in church 2 or 3 weekday evenings and most often all day Sunday doing different things. I barely even had time to go to Mass. I was burning out!

This is pretty common in my parish though, most people belong to two or 3 ministries some to more. I guess it’s a good problem to have considering the alternative
 
Hi! I’ve been reading this thread and tend to agree with the original statement to some extent. So, I’ve been building a great way to develop a much richer sense of community in our church. It’s called the Living Bulletin. I’d love to get some feedback and hear what you all think about it the concept!! Check out demo.livingbulletin.com

Thanks! Tim
 
I would personally love to see the Catholic Church embrace appropriate technology such as this but what I think could potentially happen would be some people engaging with this and others not because it is not what they are used to. You would still have that core of people who only communicate by ‘word of mouth’ where those who aren’t in the inner ring don’t get told things. Some people still don’t have computers or the internet in their homes.

I wish it would take off though, I am often away for weekends and cant go to mass at my own parish so get out of the loop, I am also never in the inner ring and I think this would break down a lot of the cliqueness you sometimes get at parishes.
 
When I was attending mass at the cathedral, I would see the same folk every time and then sometimes we would see each other in the shops and greet.

All have their own families and jobs etc after all. I would not join a specifically Church group anyways. Light and salt need spreading not hoarding?
 
😃 I absolutely love the line “let’s be Catholic friends!” I can totally identify with so much in this thread.

I agree, at least as far as the church I go to goes, the sense of community has gone. This is partly because we don’t get many families and although there are plenty of over-70s, there are probably about 1 or 2 people in each lower decade max!

I’ve got to the stage of passing smalltalk with the few ‘youngsters’ (I’m 45) my age, but it never gets beyond that. We used to have a whole calendar of church-related events, from the May Procession, the Summer Garden Party, Autumn Fair, Harvest Festival, Christmas Shopping Trip etc. so the Church was also the place to go to be part of the community.

We’ve got a couple of very influential and powerful parish members who mean well, but they are causing the whole parish to stagnate because they are involved in every group and deflect any attempts to change or improve if it means letting go of the reins a tiny bit.
 
To be fair my current parish has great community for other people. We have had a good number of first communion children and the older generation have a lot of activities. There just isn’t much for people like me but I am very glad that the parish is sustainable and doing good work.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
To be fair my current parish has great community for other people. We have had a good number of first communion children and the older generation have a lot of activities. There just isn’t much for people like me but I am very glad that the parish is sustainable and doing good work.
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Maybe for YOU to create this? Just with one or two is how it starts, informally…
 
Rosebud77 said:
Maybe for YOU to create this? Just with one or two is how it starts, informally…
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I don’t even have one or two yet. I am trying to chat to people at tea and coffee to maybe build rapport but it’s a very slow process. There aren’t a lot non-family people (couldn’t think of a better expression) to begin with anyway. I reckon my vocation in life is probably outside of my parish but I’m open minded.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I don’t even have one or two yet. I am trying to chat to people at tea and coffee to maybe build rapport but it’s a very slow process. There aren’t a lot non-family people (couldn’t think of a better expression) to begin with anyway. I reckon my vocation in life is probably outside of my parish but I’m open minded.
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Maybe stop trying? Accept what is and pray and live on. Love all and smile and greet all.
 
My expectations are definitely more realistic now. I was lucky to be part of an amazing Christian community at Uni and spent time with some wonderful people including fellow students and also some much older. It probably spoiled me a bit as I found the ordinary parish after graduation very underwhelming.

I keep an open heart and if my parish appeals for help with something I can do then I will respond. I am not a pushy person and I won’t grovel or try to force a friendship.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
My expectations are definitely more realistic now. I was lucky to be part of an amazing Christian community at Uni and spent time with some wonderful people including fellow students and also some much older. It probably spoiled me a bit as I found the ordinary parish after graduation very underwhelming.

I keep an open heart and if my parish appeals for help with something I can do then I will respond. I am not a pushy person and I won’t grovel or try to force a friendship.
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I understand, It is like leaving a very caring and active Church and then being on your own in a different place.

At one such church, the vicar used to tell those who had moved away to go to their own parish church. Not keep going back to his

Spread the life? In whatever ways you are shown.

These days I meet folk in so many different places on my rare times out and here on the internet too. Community for me is that giving and sharing whatever form it takes.
 
I have the same issue sometimes. Like a deacon keeps on saying hi to me every time, and he’s a lector and a living saint but I just want to grab him and tell him to sit down and talk to me for more than a minute.
 
CalCatholic said:
Try getting involved in your parish (if you are not already). Instead of just attending mass every Sunday, volunteer to be a Lector, Eucharistic minister, go to Bible study, etc. Get involved with the Parish Council, help makes some changes in your parish if they are needed.👍
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Wash dishes after every social you can attend. Washing dishes, cleaning off tables, sweeping floors with joy and laughter is a great way to make friends. The friendships may still remain in the Church because the lives of people are very busy and scattered but you will become known and appreciated.
 
The Maronite Catholic church here in Orlando is completely different. They have a very close tight knit community and they meet after the Mass every single Sunday with food and drink.
 
HelenRose said:
Wash dishes after every social you can attend. Washing dishes, cleaning off tables, sweeping floors with joy and laughter is a great way to make friends. The friendships may still remain in the Church because the lives of people are very busy and scattered but you will become known and appreciated.
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Love that as it focusses on GIVING rather than … not taking, but you know what I mean.

I always ended up at the kitchen sink wherever I was like that.
 
Rosebud77 said:
Love that as it focusses on GIVING rather than … not taking, but you know what I mean.

I always ended up at the kitchen sink wherever I was like that.
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Besides that. It is fun to be with and part of the kitchen crew.
 
Rosebud77 said:
Maybe stop trying? Accept what is and pray and live on. Love all and smile and greet all.
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This. I tried the same thing as Confused Lucy for years, did nothing but fail.

“Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.” Psalm 126 [127]:1
 
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