No such thing as the perfect woman

[agapewolf]

I am 32 and female, and by your definition of “perfect”…I am.

Of course, I’m FAAARRR from perfect, but I am a practicing Catholic, single, chaste, and looking.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

My advice would be to ask your father about eligible kinswomen. Enlist the help of the archangel Raphael to survive the journey to your intended and drive off any demons that may be preventing consummation. As far as I know, that plan has a 100% success rate.

 

[Gertabelle]

I were looking for a relationship with a good, solid Catholic man, I know that he may not come my way b/c of my not-so-perfect past and the fact that I have a daughter.

Don’t close your eyes to the possibility that a Catholic woman may have fallen in order to become the solid Catholic that she is today.

Amen, sister! I am also a single mom, about to begin the process of annulment. I am a “revert” to the faith after 14 years away.

I have seen many solid Catholic men who wouldn’t give the time of day to a woman who had a child and an annulment. But I am also the sinner striving to be the saint that God created me to be. IMHO, any man who sees me as “not perfect enough” isn’t worthy of me anyway.

Gertie (not my real name, but I like it)

 

[bones_IV]

Bones, I don’t think he was suggesting going to DC, just going to a different location (even in Ohio). What about Columbus, Toledo, Cleveland, Steubenville (now there’s somewhere you’ll find a good, Catholic woman), Youngstown, Cincinatti, Dayton, Ohio has more bigger cities than PA or a lot of other states (like my state of IL)? The point is, sometimes if there is something you want, you may need to make a little bit of effort. If you like where you are, fine, but is the closest small city within an hour drive? If so, why not look for a woman there (an hour drive is no big deal). Also, how about the kind little old ladies at church? Tell them you’re looking for a good Catholic woman. You’d be amazed at the matchmaking they can do.

Just from reading your responses, it seems as if you’re the one making excuses on why you can’t find a good Catholic woman, as if you’re purposely setting yourself up for failure (or trying to prove a point). Do you really feel called to marriage? If you did, you’d do more than just complain.

Well here’s something else, my parents were not thrilled about me meeting a girl off Catholicmatch or avemariasingles you know. They told me, “Nick even on there, some of them are creeps and predators.” I’ve met some who are young and in their 20’s but had bad experiences w/ them. Apparently I was too orthodox for them. I told one that she should be watching South Park and that one ended very quickly. Another one was a gold digger. One even told me I was too “negetive” for constantly sending all the articles I get from TFP or lifesite news and that I was a “fundamentalist”. But that’s my experience.

 

[ElianaPiano]

There’s nothing for me in Washington D.C. Why do I want to leave Central Ohio for? Why are you glad you left Ohio for? I don’t get it. You don’t even know me. And it sure didn’t sound like you were ‘feeling my pain’ whatever that means.

If you were a little more understanding you might get a “perfect woman” interested in you.

 

[raggakitten]

On Earth NOBODY’s perfect.

But you can find someone perfect FOR YOU.

…At least I did…

 

[raggakitten]

Well here’s something else, my parents were not thrilled about me meeting a girl off Catholicmatch or avemariasingles you know. They told me, “Nick even on there, some of them are creeps and predators.” I’ve met some who are young and in their 20’s but had bad experiences w/ them. Apparently I was too orthodox for them. I told one that she should be watching South Park and that one ended very quickly. Another one was a gold digger. One even told me I was too “negetive” for constantly sending all the articles I get from TFP or lifesite news and that I was a “fundamentalist”. But that’s my experience.

I don’t know… But you DO seem to be negative (and too self-righteous), and you complain A LOT.
Some people here were trying to help you and how did you react? Being all defensive and even rude to some…
Now you know why you don’t “find” perfect women, they run away when they see how you are!

Maybe you can work out on the bitterness 1st before trying to look for that someone “perfect”, you already showed a huge imperfection… I mean, if you’re looking for the “perfect” woman with that attitude, you may AT LEAST try to be worthy of her…

 

[Frank_Fenn]

we are not perfect. not man or woman. we all have faults.
my wife is extraordinary. not perfect, but she is a strong woman never the less.

when iam not feeling well, despite her health problems, she cares for me, and vice versa.

when iam at work, she deals with our software customers.

when i come home tired from a 50 hour work week, she looks after me. she always cares about my feelings, asks me if i have a nice day, and is waiting by the door when i come home.

nothing nicer than a welcome home hug after a long hard day.
humans are not perfect by any means. we make the best we can every day.

we must accept each others short comings. my wife persevered in prayer for years with her family asking God for me to become Catholic, and look, here iam in Catechism!

we have disagreements, yes. what married couple doesn’t?
we do not argue, we discuss things.

i could not ask for a better wife. she is superbly strong ( not physically ) morally and ethically. when it comes to the faith, she is very devout, and that has set a very fine example for me.

where would i be? still an evolutionist who doesn’t know Christ.
when my wife lives by quiet example her faith, and i was an evolutionist, i questioned her sometimes for hours we would discuss God. I was very curious about the faith.

no marriage is perfect. to expect it is unreasonable. its how you both decide to get along and make things work, and allow God into your lives that matter. God in a marriage is far better than one without Him in it.

do not set your hopes on finding the exact perfect woman, or you might miss out on the one who has been waiting for you all along. pray to the heavenly Father that He finds you a good Catholic wife. they are there.

 

[Marilena]

i must add my :twocents: worth here. first off, thank you honey for the nice compliments. truly wonderful of you.

yes, iam far from perfect. i get cranky alot due to my health. but frank lovingly supports me because he knows how much
pain i suffer as a result of my health, but by no means do i ever
yell, or take it out on him. never. i don’t do that to anyone.

we as frank says, discuss things. i have my good and bad days, same as he does. when it comes to the faith bones, if you marry someone who is as what you say, a “lukewarn” Catholic, you can set the example for her by your faith and how you live it.

there are strong Catholic women out there. not all are lukewarm, and it does not mean you have to settle for a lukewarm Cathiolic woman. do as frank suggests, and pray about it. All things are possible with God.

if you wait and wait for the perfect wife she may never come.
perhaps she will, perhaps not. what if you fall in love with someone who is “lukewarm”? are you going to miss out on a life with her because she might not be 100% perfect in your eyes? again, no one says you have the settle for second best because you don’t.

when i met frank, i was just out of the jw belief. had alot of pent up anger towards the society. kept it all in. i told him everything before we even met personally. he had the choice to walk away from me. he didn’t have to marry me when i asked him to. but he loved me and he wanted a future with me, and likewise i with him.

i was no where near coming back to the faith at all. i was less than lukewarm believe me. i thought God hated me after i left the falsetower. i couldn’t even bring myself to pray to Him.

i thought He was angry at me and didn’t want me to worship Him. why? because i had been in false religion. i never thought in my wildest dreams that i’d ever come back to the Catholic Church, but, here iam. took me awhile, but here iam.

i also never thought frank would ever embrace the truth, but he did. we were far from lukewarm trust me. again, all things with God are possible.persevere in prayer to Him. He will answer your prayers. be patient. trust in Jesus.

God bless you bones.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

The mold for perfect people was broken after Jesus and Mary.

So, none of us is perfect. We all have flaws. Some flaws are worse than others. Unfortunately, for a woman in our society, “physically unattractive” is a fatal flaw. When you’re stuck with that one, you never get a chance to show off any of your nice qualities. Oh well, c’est la vie.

 

[Marilena]

oh and one other thing. i noticed you mentioned a “gold digger”
when i met frank, he was fairly well off. very comfortable. i was not out to latch on to him just because he had money and nice things.which he did. he had a nice sum in his account, and savings. did that matter to me? no. i don’t care about material possessions or money for that matter.

doesn’t mean iam irresponsible with it either because iam not.
when frank lost the job that made him alot of money, he was sad because we lost the dream house we had, and the jeep and everything we had. he was sad yes, but we went through it together. i never left him even in his darkest hour. i stood by him and he stands by me through all my health crises.

if i was a “gold digger” i would’ve left him the moment he lost his job and his car and house. i never left him, and never will.
i think men and women spend to much time worrying about what if? what if they only want my wallet? what if they only want my house and car? what if what if?

don’t spend your time on the what ifs. they don’t matter. what if you never get married because you hold all these thoughts?
what if you miss out on the lovely wife because of your feelings? why not trust in Jesus and let Him handle it?

you obviously want a relationship with someone, and you want a meaningful relationship and a devout wife. those are things worth striving for, but you also add to many what ifs in there.
and you have high stipulations as well. let go of some of your
negativity and trust in Jesus to provide you with the one whom you will love for a lifetime.

 

[rayne89]

Marilena what a good man you have there.

 

[Rach620]

On Earth NOBODY’s perfect.

But you can find someone perfect FOR YOU.

…At least I did…

I second this completely!

Look past first impressions, and get to know someone as a friend. Talk about your faith and whatever else is important to you in life. Put a little bit of yourself out there without expecting anything in return. Be positive and express optimism. When you find the right person, doing all of these things will come naturally!

 

[childofmary1143]

So? You’re not my mother or father so pretend to be.

With sarcasm like that I wonder why you are still single

 

[dwc]

What makes you worthy of a perfect woman?

Seriously, as was pointed out earlier, you need to focus on being the right kind of person before you attract the kind of person you say you want. Self-righteousness, bitterness, superiority, … none of these are attractive qualities.