Nominees for worst hymn

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twosweetgirls said:
OMGosh, this post has me laughing! I agree with the clapping “Gloria” (In ex-chel-sees DAY-O!) {daylight come and me wanna go home} and “Gather Us In”. In fact, it’s been going nonstop in my head–“Gather us in, the rich and the haugh-ty–Gather us in, the proud and the strong”. . .

Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!
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Gather Us In (to the IHOP)

Gather us in, the eggs and the pancakes.
Gather us in, the bacon and ham.
Make us to be a well balanced breakfast
Nourished with orange juice that came from a can.

mgilleland.com/music/moratorium.htm#GatherParody
 
My most hated song is “We Are Many Parts”. As a friend of mine said, it’s a chuckwagon song. I imagine Roy Rogers riding through the prairie on Trigger while he sings this song.

I agree with whoever said “On Eagles Wings” was a song more suited for Broadway. Ironically, Michael Crawford (Phantom of the Opera) sang it on an album of the same name.

Another one that gets to me is “We Praise You (O Lord)”. This tune is ridiculous “poppy” and I feel like a lounge room singer every time I have to cantor it.
 
Wolseley said:
*“Gather Us In”, the choir is droning;
“Gather Us In” is our entrance song.
“Gather Us In” sounds just like groaning;
I notice no one is singing along.

“Gather Us In” is sung every Sunday;
“Gather Us In” is sung every Mass.
Give us a break and sing something different,
“Gather Us In” gets old really fast.*
Click to expand...
That’s pretty good. It’s definitely a poor song for Mass. I feel like we should pass out pirate hats and eye patches for it.
 
pnewton said:
I always thought “In the Garden” mentions very little about God, period, even though I like that old gospel song. It could just as easily apply to someone going to meditate in the garden about her boyfriend, especially if his name was “Andy.”
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It does say “HE” a lot. I think the HE it’s referring to is Jesus…
 
Wolseley said:
*“Gather Us In”, the choir is droning;
“Gather Us In” is our entrance song.
“Gather Us In” sounds just like groaning;
I notice no one is singing along.

“Gather Us In” is sung every Sunday;
“Gather Us In” is sung every Mass.
Give us a break and sing something different,
“Gather Us In” gets old really fast.*
Click to expand...
No. WAY! OMG, thank you, Wolsley, so so much for making me cover my screen with oatmeal. :rotfl: :rotfl:

Dang, that was funny.
 
daeve said:
It does say “HE” a lot. I think the HE it’s referring to is Jesus…
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And just look at the first verse again:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses

So I assume it’s about Jesus too:D

I always assumed the song was about Jesus’ agony in the garden in some way, though I’ve never heard it at church. There’s an Andy Griffith movie where he plays a pastor of some sort, and the choir is rehearsing this song in one scene.
 
daeve said:
It does say “HE” a lot. I think the HE it’s referring to is Jesus…
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Yup, the “He” is supposed to be understood as the Lord.
It’s a nice, kind of sentimental gospel song. I don’t think the message that God’s close to us at all times & we belong to Him is such a bad one. Should this be included in the Mass? I don’t know. It sure beats most of what we have to listen to each Sunday anyway.
At the early Mass we still have the hand clapping during the Gloria. My teenaged kids thought it was pretty silly the first time they heard it: “What in the world is that?”
The folks in charge of music at church must think kids like it but my guess is they’re drawing from experiences they had back in the '70’s @ “Folk Masses” or something. My kids at least, think it’s lame & “uncool.”
 
Rabbititus said:
And just look at the first verse again:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses

So I assume it’s about Jesus too:D

I
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Your right, of course. I was going for the Andy joke, but I guess I was off.

“Andy walks with me
Andy talks with me
Andy tells me I am his own”
 
Wolseley said:
“Gather Us In”, the choir is droning;
“Gather Us In” is our entrance song.
“Gather Us In” sounds just like groaning;
I notice no one is singing along.

“Gather Us In” is sung every Sunday;
“Gather Us In” is sung every Mass.
Give us a break and sing something different,
“Gather Us In” gets old really fast.
Click to expand...
OK. Here’s a better tune (Aurelia [The Church’s One Foundation])but words we used to sing in my Anglo-Catholic days, and relevant to this thread:

Our church is mighty spikey with smells and bells and chants,
And Palestrina masses that vex the Protestants.
O happy ones and holy who fall upon their knees
For solemn Benediction and mid-week Rosaries.

Though with a scornful wonder men see our clergy dressed
In rich brocaded vestments as slowly they process;
Yet saints their watch are keeping lest souls be set alight
Not by the Holy Spirit, but incense taking flight.

Now we on earth have union with Lambeth, not with Rome,
Although the wags and cynics may question our true home;
**But folk masses and bingo can’t possibly depose
The works of Byrd and Tallis, or Cranmer’s stately prose.
**
So let the organ thunder, sound fanfares “en chamade”;
Rejoice, for we are treading where many saints have trod;
Let peals ring from the spire, sing descants to high C,
Just don’t let your elation disrupt the liturgy.
 
mercygate said:
OK. Here’s a better tune (Aurelia [The Church’s One Foundation])but words we used to sing in my Anglo-Catholic days, and relevant to this thread:

Our church is mighty spikey with smells and bells and chants,
And Palestrina masses that vex the Protestants.
O happy ones and holy who fall upon their knees
For solemn Benediction and mid-week Rosaries.

Though with a scornful wonder men see our clergy dressed
In rich brocaded vestments as slowly they process;
Yet saints their watch are keeping lest souls be set alight
Not by the Holy Spirit, but incense taking flight.

Now we on earth have union with Lambeth, not with Rome,
Although the wags and cynics may question our true home;
**But folk masses and bingo can’t possibly depose
The works of Byrd and Tallis, or Cranmer’s stately prose.
**
So let the organ thunder, sound fanfares “en chamade”;
Rejoice, for we are treading where many saints have trod;
Let peals ring from the spire, sing descants to high C,
Just don’t let your elation disrupt the liturgy.
Click to expand...
That’s funny!
 
Rabbititus said:
And just look at the first verse again:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses

So I assume it’s about Jesus too:D

I always assumed the song was about Jesus’ agony in the garden in some way, though I’ve never heard it at church. There’s an Andy Griffith movie where he plays a pastor of some sort, and the choir is rehearsing this song in one scene.
Click to expand...
I believe it is, too (having grown up Protestant and singing this song). It’s not so much the presence of first person pronouns that I believe is the issue, but how they’re used. I’m not particularly fond of that hymn though.

For example–a song that we sang when I was a Protestant that I still love, and I quite frankly can’t find any discord w/ Catholic theology:

Take My Life and Let It Be (written by a 19th century Anglican)
Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Yes, the first person is heavily present, but second person understood is also present, and the Person addressed is God, asking Him to take the singer and conform said singer to His Will in every possible respect. Make a really nice recessional, I’d think.

Or this one, sung every All Saints’ when I was Episcopalian:
(Again, written by an Anglican–interestingly enough, intended for her children, not a wider audience, but this is a ‘children’s hymn’ that wears well into an adult audience, unlike the munching caterpillars mentioned earlier in the thread.)

I sing a song of the saints of God,
Patient and brave and true,
Who toiled and fought and lived and died
For the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor,
And one was a queen,
And one was a shepherdess on the green:
They were all of them saints of God—and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.

They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
And his love made them strong;
And they followed the right, for Jesus’ sake,
The whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier,
And one was a priest,
And one was slain by a fierce wild beast:
And there’s not any reason—no, not the least,
Why I shouldn’t be one too.

They lived not only in ages past,
There are hundreds of thousands still,
The world is bright with the joyous saints
Who love to do Jesus’ will.
You can meet them in school, or
In lanes, or at sea,
In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea,
For the saints of God are just folk like me,
And I mean to be one too.

It’d be a nice recessional at the end of All Saints’ Day Mass, maybe? Certainly seems a good reminder of what we ought to be aspiring to.
 
Melissa said:
I believe it is, too (having grown up Protestant and singing this song). It’s not so much the presence of first person pronouns that I believe is the issue, but how they’re used. I’m not particularly fond of that hymn though.

For example–a song that we sang when I was a Protestant that I still love, and I quite frankly can’t find any discord w/ Catholic theology:

Take My Life and Let It Be (written by a 19th century Anglican)
Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Yes, the first person is heavily present, but second person understood is also present, and the Person addressed is God, asking Him to take the singer and conform said singer to His Will in every possible respect. Make a really nice recessional, I’d think.

Or this one, sung every All Saints’ when I was Episcopalian:
(Again, written by an Anglican–interestingly enough, intended for her children, not a wider audience, but this is a ‘children’s hymn’ that wears well into an adult audience, unlike the munching caterpillars mentioned earlier in the thread.)

I sing a song of the saints of God,
Patient and brave and true,
Who toiled and fought and lived and died
For the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor,
And one was a queen,
And one was a shepherdess on the green:
They were all of them saints of God—and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.

They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
And his love made them strong;
And they followed the right, for Jesus’ sake,
The whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier,
And one was a priest,
And one was slain by a fierce wild beast:
And there’s not any reason—no, not the least,
Why I shouldn’t be one too.

They lived not only in ages past,
There are hundreds of thousands still,
The world is bright with the joyous saints
Who love to do Jesus’ will.
You can meet them in school, or
In lanes, or at sea,
In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea,
For the saints of God are just folk like me,
And I mean to be one too.

It’d be a nice recessional at the end of All Saints’ Day Mass, maybe? Certainly seems a good reminder of what we ought to be aspiring to.
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Blubber, blubber, sniff, sob. OK, OK. Let’s not turn this into an “I-miss-my-Anglican-hymnody” thread. It’s not fair.
 
twosweetgirls said:
No. WAY! OMG, thank you, Wolsley, so so much for making me cover my screen with oatmeal. :rotfl: :rotfl:

Dang, that was funny.
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You like that, do you? 🙂

Well, here’s a couple more (although I can’t take any credit):

*Though the mountains may fall, and the hills turn to dust,
We will never get rid of this song.
Like a big ball of wax, it will stick in our ears,
Drowning out other tunes that belong.
Long beloved by Pastorals,
In the 60s they are trapped.
Though a mother forsakes her child,
Who will dare disown this cr*p?
Could you please play some silence?
Give the microphones away?
Won’t you stop moving to and fro,
What if someone wants to pray?
Let’s all clap with the Father,
For he’s just like you and me.
Once he lived for the Roman rite,
Now he lives for Community.

ANTHEM
We write hymns, we’re composers,
We are fans of one another.
We make hymn books for tomorrow
While we rake in cash today.
We’re the best, we’re the greatest,
So our hymns are all you need.
And our songs are all you hear in church,
The only ones indeed.*

And finally…

*You need not fear that terror of the night,
Indigestion, intestinal pain,
Though thousands writhe in anguish,
Pepto will steer you clear!

And we will feed you all, on chicken wings,
Greasy fries with stringy cheese,
Salad that isn’t all that green,
And ice cream, out of a machine,
At the end!*

(more at mgilleland.com/music/moratorium.htm)
 
pnewton said:
Your right, of course. I was going for the Andy joke, but I guess I was off.

“Andy walks with me
Andy talks with me
Andy tells me I am his own”
Click to expand...
I thought that was a pretty funny joke too. I just thought it was odd that someone looked to the use of “He” when pointing out that the song refers to Jesus, rather than pointing to the “Son of God” lyric.
Melissa said:
For example–a song that we sang when I was a Protestant that I still love, and I quite frankly can’t find any discord w/ Catholic theology:

Take My Life and Let It Be (written by a 19th century Anglican)
Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Yes, the first person is heavily present, but second person understood is also present, and the Person addressed is God, asking Him to take the singer and conform said singer to His Will in every possible respect. Make a really nice recessional, I’d think.
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That sounds like a lovely hymn - what tune would it be sung with? I have a bad habit of attaching bouncy tunes to any musical texts I read, making it hard to really imagine the tone of a song. Imagine people with top hats and canes singing Vaudeville-style, and that’s what goes through my head when imagining even the most serious of songs.😛
 
Wolseley said:
*“Gather Us In”, the choir is droning;
“Gather Us In” is our entrance song.
“Gather Us In” sounds just like groaning;
I notice no one is singing along.

“Gather Us In” is sung every Sunday;
“Gather Us In” is sung every Mass.
Give us a break and sing something different,
“Gather Us In” gets old really fast.*
Click to expand...
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :extrahappy: :extrahappy: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thank you. I really needed that. There is also a pardoy of other Marty Haugen/David Haas “hits” at the Society for the Eradication of Haugen and Haas website. I can’t remember it, but if you type those words, you’ll find it.
 
Rabbititus said:
That sounds like a lovely hymn - what tune would it be sung with? I have a bad habit of attaching bouncy tunes to any musical texts I read, making it hard to really imagine the tone of a song. Imagine people with top hats and canes singing Vaudeville-style, and that’s what goes through my head when imagining even the most serious of songs.😛
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Take My Life and Let It Be midis. We used the Hendon where I grew up. But lots of options, and none put me in the mind of vaudeville.
 
mercygate said:
OK. Here’s a better tune (Aurelia [The Church’s One Foundation])but words we used to sing in my Anglo-Catholic days, and relevant to this thread:

Our church is mighty spikey with smells and bells and chants,
And Palestrina masses that vex the Protestants.
O happy ones and holy who fall upon their knees
For solemn Benediction and mid-week Rosaries.

Though with a scornful wonder men see our clergy dressed
In rich brocaded vestments as slowly they process;
Yet saints their watch are keeping lest souls be set alight
Not by the Holy Spirit, but incense taking flight.

Now we on earth have union with Lambeth, not with Rome,
Although the wags and cynics may question our true home;
**But folk masses and bingo can’t possibly depose
The works of Byrd and Tallis, or Cranmer’s stately prose.
**
So let the organ thunder, sound fanfares “en chamade”;
Rejoice, for we are treading where many saints have trod;
Let peals ring from the spire, sing descants to high C,
Just don’t let your elation disrupt the liturgy.
Click to expand...
I don’t know if I don’t know original song, or just don’t recognize it (I have to say, “Which one is that?” a lot), so I used O Sacrament Most Holy. The last line of the verse is a stretch, but by the bottom I got it worked out.

By the way, I knew the HE was Jesus. I was being facetious.
 
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