V
VonDerTann
Guest
Apryl:
“But why is not attending the wedding seen as a ‘condemnation’?”
–Do you really need to ask? As to why, the reason non-attendance would be seen as a condemnation is due to a) the unique nature of weddings (this is not a family picnic); b) the reason for not going is rooted in a personal disapproval of the event; c) the close ties to the groom (this isn’t a second cousin, twice removed, who the OP last saw 3 years ago; and d) the fact that, people being human, the guests will assume that given a, b, & c, the non-attendance will be perceived as a condemnation,
'Why does one, ANYONE, have to attend every event to which they are invited?"
–They don’t…but your brother’s wedding is hardly “every event.”
–Americans have, by and large, lost the concept of “appropriate behavior” and its corollary, “doing your duty,” Many are caught up in the concept of whether “going is a sin,” or, for that matter, whether anything is a sin. However, some actions are simply morally neutral – but they “need doing.”
An example, to me, of a morally neutral event which nevertheless “needs doing” is attending the funeral of a close relative. I knew a young lady (30s, i.e., not a teenager) who never really expended any effort to see her grandparents. They sent her cards, called her, etc., but she never really made much time for them, When they got sick, she never visited, saying she “couldn’t bear to see them like that.” Then, when they died, she wailed, bawled, cried her eyes out…and spend 20 minutes at the funeral. Do I think what she did was a sin? No. Do I think what she did was inappropriate socially, disrespectful, etc.? Yes, I do. I don’t buy the claptrap of “funerals are hard.” Sure they are…but we go, because its appropriate, and “needs doing.” Brother’s wedding is the same,
“And while I’m at it: where do you get that we are called to love and lead others by love and not condemnation?”
–From Jesus, what’s where. Jesus commanded us to love everyone - sinners, those who hurt us, etc., especially. We are never commanded to condemn.
“In some cases, condemnation is the best way to show love.”
–Sorry, that is a complete cop-out. It is way, way too easy for many people to sit in their ivory towers, condemning others around them, while smirking and saying, “I’m showing them love by condemning them!” It’s a cop out because love and condemnation are diametrically opposed. We don’t show love by condemning, just as we don’t EVER show love by violence, neglect, hatred, etc. In fact, I would think that lots and lots of people who are “whited sepulcres” reason that they are loving others by condemning them - which is, of course, facially absurd.
As to the examples of buying cigarettes or alcohol for addicts, that is not what’s being discussed here. You know that.
As for literally anyone else who thinks “going is a sin” under these circumstances - a) the OP’s brother (close relative) is having b) his first and presumably only marriage c) to a Christian woman on presumably her first marriage; d) in a Christian church; which is e) presumptively valid. You think ATTENDING that wedding is a SIN? OH PUHLEEZE. Get your heads into the real world, and quit being so judgemental of people…and, while you’re at it, live the Gospels and show a little LOVE.
“But why is not attending the wedding seen as a ‘condemnation’?”
–Do you really need to ask? As to why, the reason non-attendance would be seen as a condemnation is due to a) the unique nature of weddings (this is not a family picnic); b) the reason for not going is rooted in a personal disapproval of the event; c) the close ties to the groom (this isn’t a second cousin, twice removed, who the OP last saw 3 years ago; and d) the fact that, people being human, the guests will assume that given a, b, & c, the non-attendance will be perceived as a condemnation,
'Why does one, ANYONE, have to attend every event to which they are invited?"
–They don’t…but your brother’s wedding is hardly “every event.”
–Americans have, by and large, lost the concept of “appropriate behavior” and its corollary, “doing your duty,” Many are caught up in the concept of whether “going is a sin,” or, for that matter, whether anything is a sin. However, some actions are simply morally neutral – but they “need doing.”
An example, to me, of a morally neutral event which nevertheless “needs doing” is attending the funeral of a close relative. I knew a young lady (30s, i.e., not a teenager) who never really expended any effort to see her grandparents. They sent her cards, called her, etc., but she never really made much time for them, When they got sick, she never visited, saying she “couldn’t bear to see them like that.” Then, when they died, she wailed, bawled, cried her eyes out…and spend 20 minutes at the funeral. Do I think what she did was a sin? No. Do I think what she did was inappropriate socially, disrespectful, etc.? Yes, I do. I don’t buy the claptrap of “funerals are hard.” Sure they are…but we go, because its appropriate, and “needs doing.” Brother’s wedding is the same,
“And while I’m at it: where do you get that we are called to love and lead others by love and not condemnation?”
–From Jesus, what’s where. Jesus commanded us to love everyone - sinners, those who hurt us, etc., especially. We are never commanded to condemn.
“In some cases, condemnation is the best way to show love.”
–Sorry, that is a complete cop-out. It is way, way too easy for many people to sit in their ivory towers, condemning others around them, while smirking and saying, “I’m showing them love by condemning them!” It’s a cop out because love and condemnation are diametrically opposed. We don’t show love by condemning, just as we don’t EVER show love by violence, neglect, hatred, etc. In fact, I would think that lots and lots of people who are “whited sepulcres” reason that they are loving others by condemning them - which is, of course, facially absurd.
As to the examples of buying cigarettes or alcohol for addicts, that is not what’s being discussed here. You know that.
As for literally anyone else who thinks “going is a sin” under these circumstances - a) the OP’s brother (close relative) is having b) his first and presumably only marriage c) to a Christian woman on presumably her first marriage; d) in a Christian church; which is e) presumptively valid. You think ATTENDING that wedding is a SIN? OH PUHLEEZE. Get your heads into the real world, and quit being so judgemental of people…and, while you’re at it, live the Gospels and show a little LOVE.
