Not happy in Florida -- any advice? (little long, sorry)

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WG - I’ve always meant to ask you - what brought you guys to Tampa? If you DH is working at Disney, why not Orlando? 🤷
 
WG - I’ve always meant to ask you - what brought you guys to Tampa? If you DH is working at Disney, why not Orlando? 🤷
*lol, my job. The ‘base’ is in Tampa, offices all over though. But, I was asked to come here. My dh works in the itinerary dept in Tampa…so it’s close for him. Imagine if he worked in Orlando? 😛 EM–I think because you have been here a while, and have established roots, it’s a different thing for you. Maybe? *
 
  • EM–I think because you have been here a while, and have established roots, it’s a different thing for you. Maybe? *
Oh, without a doubt! - I totally see where you’re coming from.
I’ve just always been curious how you ended up down there… 🙂

Just another crazy thought - what about other neighborhoods that would keep your kids in the same schools and may be more neighborly and friendly? 🤷 Have you noticed any really neat areas nearby that may offer more?
 
My husband and I can’t wait to move to Florida! We just purchased a house a near Naples and after living all our lives in New York and Massachusetts we NEVER EVER want to live through a New England winter again. This past winter was a rough one!

It may be a little easier for us as the kids are grown (and are excited they will have a warm place to visit) and unfortunately I lost my mother and dh lost his father within a few months of one another, so there is nothing keeping us up north.

Now, if I can only talk hubby into retiring a few months earlier…:tanning:
 
*We live in an area that we like, I just think that it’s transient here, in general. There are many subdivisions, that the foreclosures are mounting…many are investors who wanted to jump on the housing bandwagon, five years or so ago, when things were booming.

I don’t like when I get like this, I feel negative, and perhaps, that is what the devil wants…I talked to my husband earlier, and he asked me if I wanted to move back to Pittsburgh, that he would do that, if it meant the kids and I would be happier. Thing is, my daughter is very happy here. I am not miserable here, just not into it. I think part of it is, my husband’s work. Just too many hours, working weekends…I am taking less hours this summer, to help with that, so I can match a working day for me, with one of his off days, during the week. Maybe that will help.

No place is perfect. I tell myself this also. I think if it were just one thing, I might think differently. But, combined with a myriad of issues, it just makes it harder.
I don’t like when I’m like this. :(*
 
My husband and I can’t wait to move to Florida! We just purchased a house a near Naples and after living all our lives in New York and Massachusetts we NEVER EVER want to live through a New England winter again. This past winter was a rough one!

It may be a little easier for us as the kids are grown (and are excited they will have a warm place to visit) and unfortunately I lost my mother and dh lost his father within a few months of one another, so there is nothing keeping us up north.

Now, if I can only talk hubby into retiring a few months earlier…:tanning:
Naples…it is nice there. My nephew lives there. I hope you enjoy it. Yeah, maybe a little different…since your kids are grown. I know that NE gets tons and tons of snow, too…I think Pittsburgh had a rough winter. I remember looking at some news footage of some of this year’s storms, and I admit, I didn’t miss THAT part of living there. I hope you enjoy it here…
 
Hi whatevergirl !
here’s the (name removed by moderator)ut of a daughter of an officer who used to travel a lot… In order to “root” us, my parents had bought a house in the South of France, where we spent every vacation, so that we had a sort of “base”, even though we were living here and there depending on where my father was sent.
That worked great ! 👍

When I was 13, we came back from Germany, where 2 more siblings were born. My father retired, and, had we settled in this dearly loved house, we would have lived in a house quite next to a big town which had grown so much in the meantime that getting there now took quite a while.
This house was therefore clearly unsuited to the needs of a 7-children family with teenagers needing to get anywhere quite soon (and a bus network not reaching so far), therefore before moving back from Germany, my parents sold our “childhood” house and bought another one, bigger, and above all very close to the city.

I’m 22, going on 23. We (the elder siblings, and above all my elder brother, who was 15 at the time, quite your son’s age) still say how much we loved this house, and went on complaining how we missed it for years.
Childhood memories never fade, you know, and idealizing the past is soooo much tempting !🤷 Yet, honestly, even if every time we happen to drive on the road before “our” house we slown down and have a look at it, even if some of us (I won’t tell names :p) still consider buying it back when the time has come to settle on a house… moving was really the best decision, it enabled us to grow up and live our teenager years !

From your posts we can gather your moving to Florida has had great consequences. Of course if an opportunity to get even better came around, you could consider it. But “getting back to the good old days”, although so alluring, is rarely THE thing to do… you would probably realize you have outgrown these “old shoes”…🙂
 
Hi OLHope;

Yes, a storefront. Well, many suburban pockets pop up here and there. There is a section between where I live and the next parish, that lacks a parish. There is one that is a highway’s away, and I just couldn’t stomach the bongo drums, and irreverance, no kneelers, etc…I felt like I was at a seminar, not a mass, sadly–there. But, this current parish that we recently joined, is great. Takes place in a funeral home chapel, and because we’re still on the smaller side, we are moving to a store front. (until the church is built) I am praying that this parish stays reverent, but it depends on if they can put in some makeshift kneelers, etc…to at least give it a ‘feel’ of a church. Florida is not really a haven for tradtional Cathlolics, if you ask me. Every few miles, in any town, one could find a Catholic church in Pittsburgh. That has been a HUGE change for me. I was so excited when googling our area before we moved a few years ago, to see that there were closeby Catholic parishes, but until you actually live in an area, you don’t know how it will be. It’s just night and day from our parish experiences in PA. However, we do feel connected with this parish, so that’s been a blessing.

Regarding my sister, and where she lives. My sister and I are very different. She loves the beach, and while I like it, I don’t care about it like she does. I have much lighter skin than she does, and frankly, I had a mole removed that was precancerous this year, so the beach doesn’t interest me like it used to. My sister also has long term friendships where she lives. That is HUGE. She has been here for a very long time. When I was 17, we all moved from NJ to Boca Raton, a beautiful place, but ugh. That place is boring, and snobby. Truthfully, my sister over the years, has become materialistic, I know she is growing out of that. We both grew up in money, so I also struggled with it, but living in an environment that breeds snobbery and materialism…I just don’t know how she lives there, frankly. I enjoy visiting, but I just find the it to be a bit fake. But, what keeps her there, is that she has longterm friendships, and her oldest son is there.
**
My younger nephew, who now teaches at a college in New Orleans, said it best…‘South Florida is little more than people driving around in their bmw’s and mercedes, trying to get to PF Chang’s.’ haha That always makes me laugh. He hated it there, but he loves New Orleans. Hey, I love nice things. But, to live for them? No.**

I will have to wait and see. I just wish that I could feel settled, and I pray that God brings forth a message as to what we should do…one that is crystal clear.
You are a homebody. I do not fair well with the sun either, I get those sunspots on my lower neck that are the ones that go jet black, so I have to keep a time limit on the sun. My hair and eyes are a strong brown dominant color, but my skin is as pale and pasty, only meant for God’s intention’s to be all covered up! LOL 😛

It is only understood that PA is home to you because that is comfort, you know where everything is and how everything is done. You are a stable person, whereas your sister may be more prone to the climate as you said, or just has the ability to pick up and move anywhere and be able to adapt, flighty, but not in the negative sense.

I have only been to FL once, my sister and I chose Miami, it seemed real fun for girls our age in our early 20’s, the church seemed pretty conservative, but sparce. I went because of a Will Smith song, believe it or not. Too young for Ft. lauderdale, to old, for disney, and too unpretentions and humble for Palm Beach (which I hated btw). Florida is nice, but maybe not real family oriented as many may think about Florida. It seems to be sectioned off like much of the states already is. Kids…, hmmm I really cannot recommend children grow up there, I Am recalling this thread: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=71397 where I remembered not too many happy campers in FL as well.

My sister wanted to go on vacation somewhere, she is a snob, and FL tends to attract some element of snobbery there. Nothing I can do about it. Argh, I have to accept her, as she is. Blah!😦 She has been better about it since. It is a long learning period for her.
 
Hi whatevergirl !
here’s the (name removed by moderator)ut of a daughter of an officer who used to travel a lot… In order to “root” us, my parents had bought a house in the South of France, where we spent every vacation, so that we had a sort of “base”, even though we were living here and there depending on where my father was sent.
That worked great ! 👍

When I was 13, we came back from Germany, where 2 more siblings were born. My father retired, and, had we settled in this dearly loved house, we would have lived in a house quite next to a big town which had grown so much in the meantime that getting there now took quite a while.
This house was therefore clearly unsuited to the needs of a 7-children family with teenagers needing to get anywhere quite soon (and a bus network not reaching so far), therefore before moving back from Germany, my parents sold our “childhood” house and bought another one, bigger, and above all very close to the city.

I’m 22, going on 23. We (the elder siblings, and above all my elder brother, who was 15 at the time, quite your son’s age) still say how much we loved this house, and went on complaining how we missed it for years.
Childhood memories never fade, you know, and idealizing the past is soooo much tempting !🤷 Yet, honestly, even if every time we happen to drive on the road before “our” house we slown down and have a look at it, even if some of us (I won’t tell names :p) still consider buying it back when the time has come to settle on a house… moving was really the best decision, it enabled us to grow up and live our teenager years !

From your posts we can gather your moving to Florida has had great consequences. Of course if an opportunity to get even better came around, you could consider it. But “getting back to the good old days”, although so alluring, is rarely THE thing to do… you would probably realize you have outgrown these “old shoes”…🙂
*Hey, I should tell my husband we’re moving to France! 😃 Truly, that sounds like a really great plan your parents had. Thanks for sharing this.

I think you’re right, I don’t know if we’ll go back to Pittsburgh. But, what I realize is that I took so much for granted there–my non-transient and trustworthy neighbors, my Catholic friends and communities, Catholic parishes…I just got used to it, and when you move away from that, it can really hurt when you can’t find it elsewhere. I do believe moving to Florida was God’s will…just not sure what to make of the way I’ve been feeling. *
 
I’ve lived in Florida for most of my life and it still doesn’t feel like home to me. We moved here when I was in first grade, I’m a first year grad student now! You’re right it’s really hard to find reverent churches but they are there, even if they are hard to find. Since your husband has a job at Disney I believe you’re in South/Central Florida instead of Northwest Florida like I am… a lot of the problems I have with living here is the humidity and the lack of anything to do, whereas in your area it sounds like there is much more to do but I promise you that not everyone in Florida is rude or backstabs people, but the thing is that Florida is in a transition period, it’s sorta kinda not really part of the Bible belt anymore but it’s not mainly Catholic or anything else either and because of that a lot of problems tend to crop up with people in certain areas of Florida. Over all the entire state is basically geared toward tourism and getting people to buy as much as they can. Definitely take it to prayer and maybe open up to one of the more trustworthy parishioners at the Church you finally found.
 
Tell your husband… will make for some fun ! 😃
so at last, this move enabled you to open your eyes on some of God’s gift… and maybe this is His plan: entice you to realize how precious these things are, and to think of a way you could recreate them where He sent you?
 
You are a homebody. I do not fair well with the sun either, I get those sunspots on my lower neck that are the ones that go jet black, so I have to keep a time limit on the sun. My hair and eyes are a strong brown dominant color, but my skin is as pale and pasty, only meant for God’s intention’s to be all covered up! LOL 😛

It is only understood that PA is home to you because that is comfort, you know where everything is and how everything is done. You are a stable person, whereas your sister may be more prone to the climate as you said, or just has the ability to pick up and move anywhere and be able to adapt, flighty, but not in the negative sense.

I have only been to FL once, my sister and I chose Miami, it seemed real fun for girls our age in our early 20’s, the church seemed pretty conservative, but sparce. I went because of a Will Smith song, believe it or not. Too young for Ft. lauderdale, to old, for disney, and too unpretentions and humble for Palm Beach (which I hated btw). Florida is nice, but maybe not real family oriented as many may think about Florida. It seems to be sectioned off like much of the states already is. Kids…, hmmm I really cannot recommend children grow up there, I Am recalling this thread: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=71397 where I remembered not too many happy campers in FL as well.

My sister wanted to go on vacation somewhere, she is a snob, and FL tends to attract some element of snobbery there. Nothing I can do about it. Argh, I have to accept her, as she is. Blah!😦 She has been better about it since. It is a long learning period for her.
EXACTLY! Someone who understands me! Have we met? :ehh: lol

*Well Florida isn’t all bad…my sister is here, EM from CAF is here, tampagrl from CAF is here 😃 and there are many good people here. I just find it to be a little snobby too. I enjoy shopping like the next woman, I enjoy nice things, but I’m not a snob over it. I don’t see a lot of faith and values being lived out here. I don’t want to judge, but it’s just been my observation. (except in our parish, the people there I think are flown in from another state) 😃 The thing is people where we lived up north had money, but they weren’t in foreclosure and driving around in a mercedes…there is this element of living way beyond one’s means here in Florida, and pretending to be wealthy. I just don’t get that. It’s sad to me. If you have money, great. But, don’t overextend yourself, until you’re up to your eyeballs in debt, and then brag about all the things you ‘own’ to everyone. That’s a tired scene here, frankly.

While I do like hanging out at home, I do love the mall, restaurants…and having friend time at backyard bbq’s…I guess is just took it for granted up north. Probably should have waited until my son graduated high school to make a decision. Hind sight…always 20/20.*
 
Seek not after earthly pleasures and delights, for this desire is demonic and it leads to ruin. Goodness is not measured by joy or comfort but by the effect it has on your soul. Obviously, living in Florida is nagging your family. Many people enjoy Floria for its earthly pleasures and delights, and yet, it leaves them feeling sad and depressed, or, it makes them feel a false joy and peace, a joy and peace that can only satisfy the flesh but not the soul. The hole of the heart God alone can fill. I encourage you to, first of all, entrust yourself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and visit Him in the Tabernacle. I encourage you, second of all, to try to find another place to live, one with less pleasures and delights and more good people and love.
 
*Thank you Eucharisted. I should spend time with the Blessed Sacrament, and I have not been. I feel a little spiritually dry lately. I will try to do this very soon. Thank you! *
 
EXACTLY! Someone who understands me! Have we met? :ehh: lol

*Well Florida isn’t all bad…my sister is here, EM from CAF is here, tampagrl from CAF is here 😃 and there are many good people here. I just find it to be a little snobby too. I enjoy shopping like the next woman, I enjoy nice things, but I’m not a snob over it. I don’t see a lot of faith and values being lived out here. I don’t want to judge, but it’s just been my observation. (except in our parish, the people there I think are flown in from another state) 😃 The thing is people where we lived up north had money, but they weren’t in foreclosure and driving around in a mercedes…there is this element of living way beyond one’s means here in Florida, and pretending to be wealthy. I just don’t get that. It’s sad to me. If you have money, great. But, don’t overextend yourself, until you’re up to your eyeballs in debt, and then brag about all the things you ‘own’ to everyone. That’s a tired scene here, frankly.

While I do like hanging out at home, I do love the mall, restaurants…and having friend time at backyard bbq’s…I guess is just took it for granted up north. Probably should have waited until my son graduated high school to make a decision. Hind sight…always 20/20.*
thank you for clarifying that we weren’t all snobs here in FL…lol…😃
We’re all entitled to our opinions, but FL is full of good people and unless you live here for an extended period of time, you can only generalize. Like I mentioned b/f I was b&r here, so it’s all I’ve ever known. But it’s like how NY has a reputation for the people being rude…I have found the exact opposite on my visits. However, if you’re from a small, one-traffic light, oh-hum town, then dropping into the middle of Manhattan I could see where one might perceive the people as rude as they rush past hailing a cab or dashing down into the subway. That’s just the way of the city, but everytime I’ve been, the people have been very nice.

I can agree w/some level of snobbery here in FL. I do agree w/you that ppl seem to live above their means here, too…BUT, it also depends on where you live. For example, the county just north of me, about a 30 min drive, is flat-out farm lands. I’m talking big red barns with cows, goats & sheep. Farms for veggies and fruits, and the only way you get to them is off a dirt road. There are MANY parts of FL that are still very rural and people tend to forget that b/c no one goes there! LOL! But the ppl there are quite humble. FL is WAAAY more than Disney or South Beach. There are some awesome, very quiet, remote, gorgeous places here.

I know I’m getting a little off topic, but I think you just have to give more of this to God and realize that in your particular area you might feel out of place, but I suggest you hit up the local AAA and get a guide book - ROAD TRIP!! 😃 St. Augustine, Ave Maria (yes, that’s name of the city AND university) are both inspiring places. Naples is beautiful too. Maybe God is calling you to come out of your home-body shell and explore? I’m more of a home -body too, so I know that sometimes God has to pull us kicking and screaming, but just trust that He has you where you are for a reason. Maybe it’s to bless the life of someone at your parish or your work - who knows… 😉
 
Move to Arkansas… it’s right in between your territories 🙂

Seriously though… I live in a small town outside of Little Rock. We have 3 colleges (1 large University, 1 small Baptist college and a Methodist College that consistently ranks as one of the best in the nation).

Public schools are good and our Parish School is fantastic. We have a large parish with many different groups of varying commitment - a place for everyone IMHO and there is a much smaller Parish with a truly fantastic Priest (as is ours) about 15 miles away.

In less then an hour I can get to shopping in Little Rock (it’s not NY but it’s nice) and we have ample shopping and places to eat here too. It’s a dry county (no Alcohol) but we do have some private clubs (and KoC!) if needed.

In less than an hour I can also get to multiple different lakes to swim, ski or fish. In less than 30 minutes I can get to multiple hiking trails etc…

Crime is low, housing prices are CHEAP compared to FL or PA ($85-105 sq ft for new custom builds) etc… The power and cable company (along with sewage, water, garbage) is locally owned and CHEAP.

We have a Fortune 500 Company here in town, multiple around the state, a new HP Call center being built and the new HQ for a Natural Gas company in town…

The neighborhood I live in use to be one family farms of one of the parish members so it’s one of the few places in the South where we will see St. Francis and Our Blessed Mother in numerous flower beds 👍

Jobs aren’t overflowing… but they are here. Personally I couldn’t think of anywhere else I would want to raise my family.

I have visited FL a great deal and one of my best friends lives there because that is where is wife is from… it’s nice but it’s even hotter than AR and at least we usually have a chance for snow and 4 good seasons each year.

I agree about the drivers down there too… CRAZY!

Joe
 
…I agree about the drivers down there too… CRAZY!
Now that’s true!!! LOL!! Especially S. FL - Miami, Ft. Lauderdale…seriously, forget expensive theme parks for your thrills. Then of course, there’s the ever famous FL driver - you know the one, on the interstate, in the far left lane, doing 55 with the blinker on, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone is flying past them and honking…I get behind that person every single day! 😃
Now that it’s Summer, it rains about every afternoon - every single flipp’n year this happens, but for some reason people always seem surprised, and this is reflected in their driving. I would *love *to have snow here, but can you imagine the trauma this would cause our drivers?! LOL!
 
I don’t have any real advice, other than something kind of vague: perhaps you need to do something yourself, rather than wait for it to just come to you… like a ministry, or like Eucharisted said, more time with the Blessed Sacrament… You said you felt that God really wanted you to move to FL. Well, maybe it was because you are meant to do something here? You’re meant to give to FL, not for FL to give to you?

I don’t get these feelings very often, but occasionally I get the idea that God wants me to tell someone something… so there you go. But don’t rely on me, for goodness sake. 😛 Pray about it yourself, and I’ll pray for you, too. 👍

As an aside, don’t worry about your son not wanting to drive, I didn’t get my full license until I was 17 myself, and plenty of people wait even longer. I think it’s good that he’s conscious that he can get into SERIOUS trouble and danger when driving. Perhaps he doesn’t feel ready for that responsibility yet. I know I didn’t, and I live in a very low-traffic area. :o
 
EXACTLY! Someone who understands me! Have we met? :ehh: lol

*Well Florida isn’t all bad…my sister is here, EM from CAF is here, tampagrl from CAF is here 😃 and there are many good people here. I just find it to be a little snobby too. I enjoy shopping like the next woman, I enjoy nice things, but I’m not a snob over it. I don’t see a lot of faith and values being lived out here. I don’t want to judge, but it’s just been my observation. (except in our parish, the people there I think are flown in from another state) 😃 The thing is people where we lived up north had money, but they weren’t in foreclosure and driving around in a mercedes…there is this element of living way beyond one’s means here in Florida, and pretending to be wealthy. I just don’t get that. It’s sad to me. If you have money, great. But, don’t overextend yourself, until you’re up to your eyeballs in debt, and then brag about all the things you ‘own’ to everyone. That’s a tired scene here, frankly.

While I do like hanging out at home, I do love the mall, restaurants…and having friend time at backyard bbq’s…I guess is just took it for granted up north. Probably should have waited until my son graduated high school to make a decision. Hind sight…always 20/20.*
Ha! Probably not. I have heard this before. I think when you had a thread about working from home and this thread put the rationale that you love making the most of things at home. I get to work from home, too. Which allows me to do so much, I pay things off better and actually save money however I am wanted to create more projects, which leaves me a tad overwhelmed. As long as you get to go the office every now and then, that’s good, too, at least to get out. If you are already doing that and dread walking through the workplace doors, ouch, bad sign about the vibes at work. If you’re a writer, being in a hostile environment crashes your focus and concentration because people are just so uppity and ignorant.

Oooo the malls in Miami, there was this she-she frou-frou mall, you could not walk in a shop and just say, “I’m just looking” without waving your designer wallet. I walked the mall aisle just staring at the shops afraid to go in. I had never seen a snob mall before, lol. If I only had my camera, I would have taken pics of the salespeople snub faces. Hilarious! At least I was entertained over there for sure.

No one should brag about the things and money they have, not important, and that can attract the wrong kind of people. It is pretty sad how people want to falsify their life to justify themselves. Have you met any other CAF counterparts by chance there yet? As I said in another thread, seems some people here are pretty connected.
 
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