Not liking the pastor at my church

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I’m sorry your parents aren’t supporting you in this. Aside from all the good advice here, can you show them something from the internet that talks about unwanted touching and respecting personal space? Maybe that would get them to change their minds.
 
Yeah, you could say, "Pray for me, Reverend, I just found out that all the boils I got are from MRSA. Problem solved.
 
Does a simple sentence like: “Mom/Dad/Priest, I don’t like being hugged by other people than close family members/grandparents etc? Can you respect that? A handshake is an acceptable greeting in our culture.”

Since the OP is a minor, it is likely that he/she is getting used to growing from a child´s body into an adult´s body. It is very common that teenagers are not feeling comfortable in their own bodies due to their, sometimes very quick, body changes. There are those guys too that hardly say a word for 6 months due to their voice cracking when speaking before it settles. Relationships change when going from child-adult to adult-adult.
 
If this has not been a huge issue in your family so she would know what you are talking about, you might try asking your mother what to do about a guy who is always trying to hug you when you don’t want to be hugged.

In this day and age, your mother should say who is trying to hug you when you don’t want to be hugged?!?!?!

Then you can answer, well, you know, Mom. The priest when we go to church.

If she sees it as a problem not connected to the church first, she might understand the problem better.

ETA: too many people have been raised to believe you have to be “respectful” in this way. It is not true that we have to be respectful when people are not being respectful of us, but we do not have the social niceties in place yet to deal with it, so refusing seems rude to people.
 
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Annie said:
ETA: too many people have been raised to believe you have to be “respectful” in this way. It is not true that we have to be respectful when people are not being respectful of us, but we do not have the social niceties in place yet to deal with it, so refusing seems rude to people.
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As Catholics we are shocked that people still subscribe to this kind of thinking, because the implementation of the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People has lead to widespread education of parents and those whose volunteer work puts them in contact with children and young people. After renewing that training for a decade or so we wonder how there is anyone out there who doesn’t know this stuff! There are no Roman Catholic priests in the US who would dare do what this pastor is doing! His whole staff would know they have a duty to report him to the bishop.

I continue to be amazed about how many youth sports organizations have not learned from the example of the Catholic Church, the Boy Scouts, and so on. It boggles the mind. No, the abuse of children is not something that happens to someone else. It can happen to anyone who doesn’t know better than to give predators opportunities. Even if this priest is as innocent as the parents think, just having a priest who teaches all the children that they have no standing to resist unwanted hugging from the pastor is going to make his staff a plum position for anyone with bad intentions! If he is not a predator, his example is still just ASKING for a predator to come in and exploit the environment he’s creating. Apparently, the Anglicans in some parishes are as slow as the youth sports leagues to figure out that they’re not exceptions to human nature.
 
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PetraG said:
If he were a Catholic priest whom we all know has been taught about the danger that teaching children to submit to unwanted touching can do, his bishop would thank you very much for the heads-up. As for other clergy, they don’t have an excuse for not wising up faster than this man has.
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Anglican’s also have a program in place.
 
I heard something amazing last night from Dr Larry Richards, which is that priests can’t even spend a long time in the confessional with a young person as that might be a bad thing happening or seen that way.

Which is possibly why some young people are having trouble getting. Help from priests in the confessional.

I agree so much with what you are saying about this Anglican priest’s actions. It is actually rude at best, and insane in this day and age.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Anglican’s also have a program in place.
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The OP might want to look into what policies her diocese has that may be being ignored.

Honestly, I would be very concerned about a clergyman who knew a child didn’t want to be hugged who would even let her parents talk him into ignoring her wishes. That is not the way normal adult men act around children. He may not be a perpetrator of abuse (beyond the boundaries we know he is knowingly crossing, I mean), but something is “off” there.
 
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