Are you saying that the Mass as described in the OP is just as reverent as say a church where the large crucifix is visible to the entire congregation during the Mass, the Mass is said properly and with no abuses, etc? That said, I do not believe that quality of music has much to do with reverence. However, I do think that Protestant hymns do
not belong at Mass. The hymns at Mass should be Catholic and clearly so.
Hotchkiss didn’t say anything of the kind. He (she?) was pointing out that in his experience, there are plenty of reverent Masses available if you look for them.
I would expect that the cantor, EMHCs, Lectors, etc would dress up a bit for Mass. I’m not sure what a Carrhart jacket is, but I don’t think it’s a sportscoat. The servers could have been worse…flip flops! But I do agree they should be wearing black dress pants and regular leather shoes with black socks.
The music you mentioned wouldn’t be my choice, but a lot of the traditional hymns we sing are also used by the Protestants. One of my Lutheran friends was at my house on a Saturday night and I was trying to learn a song for the next day. She knew it by heart and the composer was a saint, but I don’t remember who. Those pop type tunes aren’t suitable for Mass.
My parish and the church where I sing are both newer churches, one built in about 1965 and the other about 1978, but they have crucifixes, kneelers, and stations on the wall. I know there are churches without kneelers, but except for when we used to be so crowded we had to have Mass in the cafeteria using folding chairs (in the 60s and 80s) I’ve never been to Mass where people didn’t have a place to kneel.
As for Communion in the hand, you’ll find a lot of arguments here about that. It is an acceptable practice in the US at this time, so that was not an abuse.
I’ve been to a few Teen Masses by accident and I don’t like them, so I generally avoid them. OP, you seem to be happy with your regular parish, so I’d just chalk that particular Mass up to experience and stick with your own Mass.