OCD Discussions

[Jessica01]

I used two different scales , and whenever I visited my sister All I could think was of using her scale to compare it to the weight I got on my two scales! I literally would pretend to be interested in our conversation for a few minutes and took whatever excuse I could to go to her bathroom to use the scale there. And believe me, if I had had 20, I would have used them. I used to be just as afraid of muscle gain, especially when I started running. I remember that when people used to warn me that dieting just burned my muscle, I was secretly happy about this.I also used to do this thing where whenever I layer down Inwould try to feel my hip bone? If I could feel it a lot, I would think that I was “good” and if I couldn’t I would start to panic. Also, I constantly measure my wrists. I still do this one. If I can wrap my index and thumb around my wrist and still have a gap between them and my actual wrist, I am “good”. And collar bones! I constantly make sure I can see/feel them. Mirrors were an issue too. I had to constantly check them. I knew where every mirror was in the stores I went to, and I would always make my way to one of them while I was there to “make sure” I looked fine.

 

[Jessica01]

Okay, this is a little different, but I am curious now too to see if you have this other one. I used to be really into finding the shapes of things. Like, when I found out about face shapes I spent hours looking them up and comparing the images to my face. I would use measuring tape, rulers, everything to measure my face. I would ask others to tell me what face shape they thought I had. When I would go cut my hair, I would be itching to ask her what face shape she thought I had ( and this was every time, with different hair dressers). Needless to say, I was devastated if they gave me the wrong answer. Body shape too. I had my mom measure me countless times, and I would measure myself too. Then I would go online, put the numbers into a special calculator for body shape and calculate it. When I would get my “shapes “ I would google “ people with oval face shapes” or whatever face shape I was convinced I had that day ( same for body shape) , and I would base my hairstyle, clothes, everything on what I saw. I also would ask people to look at me in the mirror and tell me if that is actually what I looked like in real life.

 

[Jessica01]

Yes it does. It’s crazy when you see how OCD affects every area of life. Thank you for sharing those. Now I see that the illness was a factor behind all the things I was doing.

 

[Arwing]

Some of the quirks of individual cases are admittedly interesting in a way.

When mine was at its worst I had an absurd number of “rules” I needed to follow which obviously I knew even at the time were pretty much arbitrary. Thankfully it’s loosened up a lot since. But it is indeed crazy just how widespread the effects of the obsessions are.

 

[Jessica01]

A priest once told me “ OCD is all about feelings” and it is. The more sensible, sensitive, or emotional your disposition is, the more fertile the soil for OCD to take root in.

 

[Jessica01]

It’s insane

 

[Jessica01]

Those of us who also measure our wrists
It’s this insane idea that we have to be perfect isn’t it? That is the driving force behind this thing. We can’t just be healthy, we have to be in perfect shape, we can’t just be good Catholics, we have to Saints, we can’t just be good enough in any area. It has to be perfect.

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

It’s this insane idea that we have to be perfect isn’t it? That is the driving force behind this thing. We can’t just be healthy, we have to be in perfect shape, we can’t just be good Catholics, we have to Saints, we can’t just be good enough in any area. It has to be perfect.

Bingo…spot on.

I see this a lot in mainstream society also…this idea of achieving perfection. It’s rampant in the alternative health industry. I’m a massage therapist and boy, the amount of integrative nutrition and pseudoscience (not to mention new age) stuff that goes on here is mind boggling…for a while I was sucked in to it (not the new age part). There’s this idea of control in this industry…if I only take this herb/vitamin, or use this concoction or avoid this food…I’ll achieve perfect health. All of this isn’t isn’t surprising given my obsession with perfection. But slowly I’ve come around to admitting that I will never be perfect…never…only God is perfect and He knows that I’m not…and He loves me anyway. Remembering this has been a lifesaver.

 

[margaret42]

Especially if you don’t have the same OCDs. I don’t know how far you’ve advanced, but if some one is doing a ritual you used to do, you might wonder why you ever did it in the first place

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

Yep, either that or if it’s the same thing I used to do (or something similar) it might trigger it again. So it’s almost like a defense mechanism for me to be slightly angry at these people. They remind me of something I struggle so much with. Luckily my religious OCD issues have subsided (for the present…I’m hoping they stay away!)
but my germ and sickness phobias are pretty high. sigh…can’t all the parts of OCD be in remission at the same time?!

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

I can also identify with everyone here who is struggling with weight issues. There seems to be a high correlation/comorbidity between OCD and anorexia, bulimia and/or orthorexia (not technically an official diagnosis but pretty darn accurate IMO).

I have been able to finally lose weight following a low carb diet…now I’m afraid of gaining it back…afraid of eating too many carbs, afraid of getting fat again…perfectionism strikes again

 

[margaret42]

yes, among my weigh hang-ups include eating disorders such as just what you said-anorexia and bulimia. A therapist told me they had a connection with OCD

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

hmmm… I definitely assess my feeling about things. I’f I’m feeling good I think that maybe I’ve got my life under control for a change…honestly I need to learn to let go and let God…and that thought is honestly scary.

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

I definitely fall more on the orthrexia side of things…I love food too much and hate (rather I fear) throwing up. But the guilt I feel from eating something “wrong” or “not healthy” gets to me and I’m tired of it…I wish I could have a healthy relationship with food. To compound the issue, I truly do have issues with poor blood sugar regulation so low carb really is a good way for me to go regardless of weight issues.

 

[Brolph]

I sympathize with the struggles faced by you and your daughter. OCD can cause much unnecessary suffering. I think it is particularly difficult for us Catholics as it may lead to scrupulously.On a side note please be careful with the Zoloft as it can cause many adverse side effects if taken for too long a period of time. I’ve seen many people for whom Zoloft appeared to be a great help for OCD and anxiety depression but adversely affected them in other ways. Be especially careful when tapering off SSRI’s like Zoloft.

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

Oh I agree…I’m already considering weaning her off it…Im not noticing a huge difference anyway and some of the side effects aren’t nice.

 

[margaret42]

“Frosting”?

 

[margaret42]

The cycle for me started with repetitive behavior, for whatever reason-causing anxiety- but still thinking it was a good thing to do.

 

[margaret42]

Jessica,
I hope I didn’t offend you by saying that my sisters would call the police, if I told them I “measured my wrists”. I was just referring to the fact that I also do this. Even worse is the scale issue! 20 scales is a bit much!

 

[margaret42]

How is your daughter?