Ok so I told them (some major ranting)

[Stella_Matutina]

What gets me the most is that he didn’t offer any apology at all. He came over to my house acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong and obviously expressed that he was upset about our son not having his last name.

Being a good father starts before birth. OF COURSE HE WOULDN’T HAVE HIS LAST NAME. He was too late. He has a chance to catch up but it seems like he has no idea how much he has already done to wrong his child.

I’ll pray that he is able to gain some insight about this. I’ll also pray that maybe a family member can step in and take on a male presence in your son’s life. Do you have any brothers? father? cousin? Maybe mentioning this to your son’s godfather that your son may need a male role model.

 

[jenlovesyu]

Being a good father starts before birth. OF COURSE HE WOULDN’T HAVE HIS LAST NAME. He was too late. He has a chance to catch up but it seems like he has no idea how much he has already done to wrong his child.

I’ll pray that he is able to gain some insight about this. I’ll also pray that maybe a family member can step in and take on a male presence in your son’s life. Do you have any brothers? father? cousin? Maybe mentioning this to your son’s godfather that your son may need a male role model.

Thank you Stella for your advice and especially for praying for him. I don’t have brothers but I’m pretty sure my dad is already on board to set an example for my son. Thanks for suggesting that I talk to my son’s Godfather too! It crossed my mind but for some reason didn’t register. He should be a great role model for my little boy.

 

[iluvmybabies]

First of all, they should be glad you even told them! EVEN THOUGH YOU WAITED TILL THE BABY WAS BORN! WHO CARES! THIS BABY IS YOUR CHILD AND YOU HURTING YOUR EX DOESN’T GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO NOT BE PART OF THE BABY’S LIFE! He chose to walk away from the baby not you and you decided to let his famiy know so they should be thankful! AND NOT BE BITCHING AT YOU AS IF YOU ARE THE BIGGEST SINNER IN THE WORLD!

As kindly as possible speak with her and let her know you appreciate her opinion but this is your child and since there is NO FATHER IN THE PICTURE that you will do WHAT YOU FEEL AND THINK IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD! GOD bless you for having your child, for loving your child and for even letting this poor innocent’s child’s unloving father’s family in the picture! they are extremely blessed! Let me tell you!

I know that if you were my son’s ex and told me you both had a baby and he walked away from you for whatever reasons, I am not stupid and blind nor will I accept the little victim thing with my son about it a baby takes 2 to make and 2 to raise, if he chooses not to be part I would talk to my son and make sure he takes responsibility for his actions wether he likes it or not, if he chooses not to take part at all and walks away from the family I would not allow him near that child no matter how badly it hurts…It’s called tough love until he starts earning the love of the mother of the child and the child and family all over again…

You can forgive but you dont have to forget and you don’t have to accept such behaviors…

His mother has no right on telling you what to do and you need to tell her that…

I know easier said than done…

My future inlaws since they found out about the baby are willing to “tolerate my kids and myself!” Ridiculous…They don’t even believe I am pregnant, they think fiance told them so that they could get us Christmas gifts as if I wanted to talk to them or hear from them again after all the bs they have put me through?! What do I look like insane?

Anyhow, sorry if I seem to angry I just don’t think it’s fair when a mother is trying to do the best for her child that she gets bombed on…

Just hang in there…you are doing well! God bless you and keep your head up!

And don’t be afraid to talk to this woman and to remind her that you contacted her without a need or want…

 

[joandarc2008]

I don’t want to sound like a feminazi but…

Men are sometimes slow. Yours seems real slow on the uptake here. However, better late than never. If I were you I would make very sure you don’t depend on him until he shows he is dependable.

After being involved with a grandparent custody issue with my dh and my step daughter (they have adopted her) but he is still daddy and it is weird but we all seem to have different roles that work so hey whatever as long as she is loved, happy, and raised in the Catholic Faith I would recommend the following:

1. Start a diary - keep it on your computer- it will save you typing it later. Anytime you have contact with them document it - especially if you make plans, keep plans, don’t keep plans, make decisions, go against decisions, have confrontations, or your parenting is criticized.
2. Set ground rules in writing for being around YOUR child. Send these with confirmation receipt in a loving manner via email. Keep both rules and confirmation receipt and any discussion of said rules with diary. Also keep any emails with the diary.

This may sound bad but this way if you ever have to go to court everything is at your fingertips in an organized manner and there is no “He said, she said” or “She said, she said.” There is also no claiming, “I didn’t know she felt that way.”

Good luck and God bless you for choosing life.

 

[DJgang]

I haven’t read everything … but whoa! She finds out and meets her grandchild for the first time and all she can do is tell you how weak you are!

Set those boundaries now!

I’ll read the rest of the thread later.

Prayers for you.