Older? Catholic? Looking for a husband or wife?

[jeannetherese]

I think God made us to be a pair, and the Church from the beginning values that or marriage. The relationship between God and his Church is parallel to marriage. The relationship is a covenant, a marriage contract to love and support, respect and uphold to allow “the bride” (Church) to flourish and be fruitful. Marriage is a Sacriment. If it is not to encourage marriage, then I got all the extra reading I have done dead wrong.

If, as you argue, the relationship with God and his Church is parallel to marriage, and you are His Church, then those rejecting him for another are, in a sense, cheating on their marriage.
Perhaps your insights in this matter will help you to encourage others to be faithful as the bride of Christ.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am sad to hear of, “older single Catholics leaving the Church”… I am older, single and just getting here.

I am not sure it is necessarily just older and single that are leaving. Pretty sure there are some marrieds and plenty of young people that are leaving as well.

Don’t let that discourage you, Frank. The next few months are going to be something different for you with Lent coming up. You are almost ready to cross the Tiber!

 

[Fraevo63]

@1ke

Your implications to the OP that they were “whining” was rude and completely unnecessary. Do you communicate with fellow Christians this way face to face? I hope not.

 

[QwertyGirl]

Wow. I asked for simple advice and got so many unhelpful comments. And some unkind ones. I wanted to help others by gleaning helpful insights to encourage people to remain th the Church. I would encourage some of the commenters to try saying these things to someone’s face. I intend to seek advice to help, not condemn or criticize. Shame on some of you.

I must say I, too, am disappointed at the lack of empathy expressed in some of these comments. Stunned, actually. We (collective we; as in the human race) are supposed to look after eachother, aren’t we?

When someone expresses loniliness, it means they are lonely. It is nothing to shame or blame them about. True, there may be steps we can take to alleviate our loneliness (such as starting a club or ministry) but that doesn’t mean a lonely person is less lonely in this moment.

I agree, many of the things posted here are not things one would say to the face of an older stranger in their congregation who raised the issue.

Let’s be a little kinder, please. You can deliver whatever message you like, but you can also be kind in the way you do it.

 

[choosyone]

I am aware of the fact that people of all ages are leaving. I was asking for feedback on a more narrow subset, not denying validity of concern of others leaving.

 

[Irishmom2]

And I was responding to another poster that it is nothing that is limited to older, single Catholics, as he is soon to be converting to Catholicism.

 

[choosyone]

That is precisely what causes me distress. Jesus showed us how to walk the walk. That means being a 24/7 Catholic. Taking our faith outside the walls of the church and ministering empowered by the refueling grace of the Eucharist. Life is not pristine and Satan is busy indeed. If we never take Him into the world as the body of Christ, if we don’t do works of mercy, then we fail the mission he assigned to those that are baptized and share in His Kingship. We are His arms and legs. We are the mouthpiece of the Holy Spirit. I guess being a convert is different, indeed.

 

[1ke]

I didn’t say the OP was whining. I don’t think the OP is whining. I think that the people the OP was quoting are.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I am sad to hear of, “older single Catholics leaving the Church”… I am older, single and just getting here.

We don’t all leave, so take heart. I happened to walk in on a Mass that was the wedding of an older widow and widower a few months ago last year. A few months later I happened to walk in on a joint memorial Mass the couple were having for both their deceased spouses. I am sure this sort of thing happens frequently.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I hear there are a lot of really beautiful churches in Detroit.

I’m particularly taken with the ICKSP one by the highway coming into town. Frank, have you ever been to that one? I want to go. (I’m not from Detroit so it will take me a while to get back up there again, I have been up to Fr. Casey’s shrine.)

 

[Fraevo63]

@Tis_Bearself

I just started on my Journey Home in September of 2018 and really only know the parish I have been a member of since then so no.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Yes, I know you said you were without transportation right now too and it’s winter. Maybe when it gets nicer out and you are able to get around.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

A lot of greener grass someplace else talk. Grass is greener over there! Grass is greener across the river! Grass is greener in Columbus! … ad infinitum, ad nauseum …

I’m single too. There is no specific vocation for single people though I suppose I could have been a deacon. It is either the married life or the religious life. The rest of us are laiety, that’s it, nothing special, we’re not special unless we bear children or dedicate ourselves to religious life, that’s how civilization moves forward and the Church has been extraordinarily crucial to that. So I give it all over to the Lord. My problems are first world problems. Which is to say I don’t really have problems. The persons with real problems are the ones living check to check and struggling to put food on the table.

Look at what you can do for others, not at what they can do for you. If you look at every interaction as a potential door to a relationship, you are guaranteed to be disappointed. Change your attitude. And pray.

 

[Allegra]

We never met on church property anyway. We usually met in a restaurant or pub, occasionally a winery. This was a local subgroup on the Catholicmatch website for people who lived in our area.

 

[Norseman82]

Then start a ministry.

And when you see a hungry, homeless person in the freezing cold who needs food and shelter for the night for their very survival, do you tell them that they should start their own food pantry or soup kitchen and to build their own homeless shelter?

 

[Norseman82]

A question to ponder is whether Christ established His church as a matchmaking service for singles or, perhaps, as something more?

the Catholic Church exists for the purpose of the salvation of souls and the administration of the sacraments. It’s not a social club or a dating service and it was never intended to be one

We go to a Catholic Church to worship God and receive the Eucharist. That’s all. Everything else is fluff. It’s nice fluff, but it’s fluff. You are going to have to fulfill your social life elsewhere, I’m afraid.

This type of “head in the sand” reaction is missing a key point - being single can be an occasion of sin. Read 1 Cor. 7. Surely removing occasions of sin counts as working for the salvation of souls - much more than talking about global warming.

 

[Norseman82]

What will keep Catholics in the Church is awareness of the Real Presence or Our Lord, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Blessed Sacrament.
Perhaps you might focus upon evangelization about the Real Presence as a means of addressing your concern about some who leave?

On paper, that should be true. However, if you remember the story of Jacob and Esau, when one is really famished, one will sell one’s birthright for a mess of pottage.

 

[BoomerangToo]

This type of “head in the sand” reaction is missing a key point - being single can be an occasion of sin

Your entire life is an occasion of sin. It’s not the Church’s responsibility to remove every temptation for it’s parishioners.

 

[Norseman82]

Your entire life is an occasion of sin. It’s not the Church’s responsibility to remove every temptation for it’s parishioners.

Come on…I think you know what I’m talking about (at least I hope you do)…let’s get this discussion back on track.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I think this whole “church must provide social life” or “church must provide dating partners” keeps hitting bumps when discussed because there are a lot of Catholics who manage to have a social life to the level we like, or enough dating to satisfy us, without needing their parish church to do more than it’s already doing.

It’s a case of, “Hey, I’m fine over here so I’m not sure why you need extra help/ aren’t just dealing with it like I did”.