On the Tiber’s Shore II

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Oh wow, that’s a good update! Not all that long till the start of Lent now either. Hope it all goes well.
 
Judging by how these past few months have been, I’ll be very, very lucky if I’m confirmed by Easter 2021 😜

Still hanging in there, by the sheer grace of God (and thanks to a few good and devoted friends).
 
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Anything worth having, is worth working for…

Hang in there. You can still enjoy and worship at Mass. Again, anything worthwhile is not easy or quick. This not like joining a club, signing your name and you are in. This is serious stuff and needs to be taken with utmost examination.
I am really taken back by christian friends of mine that ridicule(in a somewhat nice way) on why the Church(RCC) makes it so hard to join… It does not make it hard to join, it just takes it very seriously…
Prayers to all!

PS - when things get tough, look to the early martyrs of the Church and read what they went through, puts things in perspective…
 
Thank you 😊

Actually, the Church is making this as easy as she can for me. It is the church for which I work now, my spouse and – above all – my own fears which are complicating things so much…
brianjmc1 said:
You can still enjoy and worship at Mass.
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Yes. I don’t know where I would be without Mass and Adoration.
 
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Praying for all swimmers. Even the ones that are just getting their feet wet.

Peace!!!
 
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OddBird said:
Anyone have good resources to recommend about canon law ? Not so much the code itself as its history.

I’m asking because canon law is a contentious issue here, both at home and outside in ecumenical relationships. The requirements for the reception of the Eucharist and the Sunday obligation in particular are huge sources of conflict, with some people (including my husband) fuming about a “legalistic” and “life-killing” approach of the faith. I never know how to react, particularly as I don’t feel I’m treading on solid ground when discussing canonical issues.
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I’m not enough familiar with Canon Law to be of use, but @1ke likely can shed light on your questions.

1ke, if you read the next few posts, perhaps you can help with understanding.

@Donald_S
 
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Hi, I started this thread (Husband’s unannulled first marriage - #20 by YourNameHere) and can no longer comment because it has been closed, so I will comment here.
Simply put, I have decided to dedicate myself to the Protestant church for now. As illicit as my marriage may be to the Catholic Church, we are still married and have a family, and based on the dynamics of said marriage it is best that I remain Protestant for the time being. It may not be the healthiest marriage (as one person in my old thread commented), but it’s the marriage I’ve got, so I need to make the best of it. My husband and I are in the process of finding a new Protestant church, which will hopefully bring us closer together. We no longer sleep in the same bed and I’m not sure I still love him, but I am determined to keep things together and pray that our marriage will improve with time.
As I’ve prayed about returning to the Catholic Church, I have also come to realize that the church and I have some long-standing ideological and moral differences that we may never come to an agreement on. I don’t see this changing anytime soon, and I probably should get these beliefs changed before I make any attempt to join the Catholic Church.
Thanks to everyone who tried to help in my previous thread. Maybe we’ll meet again here some other time.
 
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Please don’t disappear! Keep talking to us in order to keep your fingers on the pulse of what’s going on and to receive encouragement. Most all of us have horror stories of our own, either current, or in the past. We need each other in order to keep on keeping on! 😇
 
I’m posting here to encourage those in the process!

I was born and raised atheist in Utah; had a radical conversion to Christ in my early 20’s. Married a pastor’s son. Spent 20 years happily involved in about 8 different non-denominational charismatic churches. I didn’t hate Catholicism, just thought it was stuffy and superstitious.

A few years ago we were hit with major family trauma involving our first born child and my in-laws. My husband and I fell into intense grief. We consulted christian counselors and pastors, group therapy; many kind people tried to help us, but just couldn’t. Meanwhile, two of our other kids landed in Catholic school, just because it was the best choice near our house. I started attending daily Mass when I dropped them off each morning. I just wanted to pray and grieve; the solemnity of the building was very soothing; I sensed dignity in my suffering there.
The 30-something priest was holy, kind, full of love for people. I sensed the Holy Spirit in him. Many of his homilies were prophetic words for me. I made an appointment to talk to him; Was he charismatic? (Turns out, Yes) Did God tell him he was giving me prophetic words? Was it ok for a protestant to go to mass and just sit in the back? I found a rosary in the gutter; I plopped it in his hand and asked ‘what am I supposed to do with this?’
It took me 4 months (researching and agonizing) to decide to become Catholic. The priest then arranged an off-track RCIA for me to attend with 2 other people. I already believed 98% of the catechism. After 6 months in RCIA, and a very intense couple of confessions, I was confirmed on a weekday Mass. I’ve been a Catholic now for a few months.
My extended family are still all atheists. My husband, my kids and my in laws are still non denominational christians. I live in a hyper-liberal city. It was, and is, 100% lonely uphill climbing to be a Catholic.
I became a Catholic because I couldn’t deny the Holy Spirit leading me there, and I couldn’t deny historical church facts. Above all…the Eucharist. There aren’t adequate words. I attend Mass daily, like I breathe air daily. I can’t imagine my life without the consolation of the Eucharist. It’s made me love my husband, my family, my enemies. It’s concretely my ‘personal relationship with Jesus’ . I feel I can face any tragedy in life as long as I can partake of Him.
 
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Why, may I ask, are Catholics so interested in bringing non-Catholics into the fold, in a way Protestants aren’t? I’ve been told by Catholics that I lack a “full understanding of Christianity” because I am not one of them. I would never tell a Catholic that.
 
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I know some pretty joyful Protestants. I am trying to become one myself (aka “bloom where I’m planted,” since this is where I need to be right now).
 
It must be nice to have this kind of religious background, CajunJoy. I am trying to create that for my daughter, using the tools available to me. I do find it interesting that no Catholics seem to have anything positive to say about my desire to keep my marriage intact. I thought that was a good thing?
 
Rlmcc83, I think I need to apologize for hijacking your thread! I am new to CAF. I thought it was a general ‘crossing the Tiber’ thread. After reading your comments, I think I offended you. I’m sorry for that and I’ll start a new thread elsewhere.

I will say a couple things about your comments.
  • I have known, loved, prayed with and had amazing fellowship with MANY protestants over 20 years. I would never disparage their individual lives or faith or lovely churches. I was pushed to an existential crisis, where no one could help me and I was exhausted by the endless choices in Protestantism. Out of desperation God led me to the vast cloud of witnesses (living and dead) centered around the Eucharist. That is where I finally found consolation- beyond what any human could offer me. Wonderful as those humans were.
  • I was also a loudmouth about Jesus when I first became a believer. I think the Holy Spirit gives people the courage and joy and itching desire to talk about Jesus. And His beautiful universal Church.
  • I’ve been blessed with a very difficult marriage. My husband disagreed with me about Catholicism. I became one in order to stay with him. How’s that? Because I needed the power of the sacraments to keep loving him in a Christlike way, without fear and bitterness. My marriage has vastly improved since I started going to confession, because I clean up the garbage in my own heart before I blame my husband for my misery. Also, having embraced suffering as an essential tool God uses to shape me, I’m learning to believe my hard marriage is actually a blessing. It’s the fuel that drives me to the Healer of my heart. Which ain’t my husband!
  • All my Protestant friends with hard marriages got their divorces. I was on my way as well. There was no end in happy, nice people who told me that it’s not God’s will for me to suffer in a hard marriage (no, I’m not an abuse victim- all respect to those who are- that’s a different story than this).
 
Hi Jamieleah, i know your comments were not directed at me personally, so no worries.
The biggest difference between the two of us, is that I’m guessing your husband wasn’t married to someone else before he married you. Unfortunately, mine was, and my spiritual life is paying for it dearly. You can read some details about our situation in the link I posted upthread. Simply put, it doesn’t matter how much comfort or help I derive from the Catholic Church, as long as he refuses an annulment of his first marriage I will never have access to things like the Eucharist and Reconciliation. Given the reality of our marriage, and his personality and needs, it is truly for the best that I learn how to accept my situation and move on. It is the hardest thing in my life, but something I need to do.
 
rlmcc83 said:
Why, may I ask, are Catholics so interested in bringing non-Catholics into the fold, in a way Protestants aren’t?
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In my experience, it was more of the other way round. I know many evangelical protestants who go to Timor Leste (catholic nation) for mission to preach the gospel. Most of the protestants I met, were highly evangelical and they believe there is a black/white, either you are right or wrong. Recently, met couple of bible presbyterians and they told me they disagree with catholicism but they still wanted to invite me to bible study on fridays and church on sundays.

On the other hand, I have seen catholics taken a more passive approach to evangelism. Went to a teaching mass and the speaker was talking about wanting catholics to be more willing to be equipped with the knowledge to share the gospel and reach out to more, while showing statistics that catholics evangelise less than evangelical protestants.
 
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Please stay in touch. This doesn’t mean it will never happen - perhaps, just not now. God knows your heart and it may in time resolve some, if not all, of your issues. If possible, drop in for Adoration when you can. It is open for all.
 
Thank you. I do like adoration. I wish I knew why God led me to the Catholic Church when I can’t be let in, but I may never find out.
 
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