I really didn’t want to get into a debate about whether or not priests should be married. I have my own opinion on that issue but that’s neither here nor there. My problem is simply trying to see the logic here. If the church has no problem in allowing exceptions to the rule (I’m only referring to the Roman Rite here), why not just allow all Roman priests to marry and have done with it? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander (so to speak).
Certain non-Catholic denominations are very similar to Catholicism (sometimes so similar that it is only non-Catholic because the Anglican communion does not have valid Holy Orders as recognized by the Catholic Church- and there are, sadly, plenty of Anglican parishes that act more Catholic than some Catholic ones).
The Church admits converts who were pastors in certain denominations to Holy Orders if they see fit to do so. They get a lot of media attention (both secular and Catholic), and they are usually exceptional priests. The Church ordains them because they know they are going to be exceptional- just like if the Church were to ordain someone who is blind, a condition which makes a person irregular for holy orders (and requires a dispensation from Rome if they are to be ordained). If there is something that would normally ban someone from being ordained, there had better be something VERY special about the person- special enough to convince the bishop that he shouldn’t pass this one up.
The priesthood has more theology behind it than the pastorate in non-Catholic denominations. The priest is a spouse of the Church, and he is to imitate Christ in a unique way (because Christ is the spouse of the Church). Just as Jesus denied himself to the point of suffering every pain imaginable and ultimately dying on the Cross, so must the priest deny himself totally for the Church. How can a man be totally devoted to the Church, and be totally devoted to his family at the same time? Since the Church sees fit to ordain married men in the East, and in certain special cases in the Latin Rite, it must be possible for some men to do this. I know I sure wouldn’t be able to- and I don’t know any priest who would be able to, or any husband and parent who I think would be able to. The best priests I have known have said many times to me how much they love celibacy, how much they respect it as a vocation, and how they couldn’t imagine doing all they do as a priest while trying to be a good husband and father. The best examples of husbands and fathers I have known have said the same thing about being a priest.
I know the Eastern Churches allow married priests and have done so for a very long time- perhaps as long as those Traditions have been around. I don’t know their reasons for doing so- I’m a Latin Catholic- there’s too much I still need to learn about my own Tradition to think very much about someone else’s Tradition (although I can certainly appreciate it). Celibacy is a beautiful vocation- and one that’s largely underappreciated in our culture today (even among faithful Catholics). Thankfully, the Church still greatly appreciates it- and it looks like it’ll be around for a very long time.
Imagine the following scenario:
A man who happens to be a priest is home alone with his child. The child falls and has life-threatening injuries. He needs someone to comfort him and take him to the emergency room. His mother isn’t around and nobody else is around to help, for some reason. Still this child’s life is in danger- he needs their undivided attention- and a good father will give it without question.
He takes the child to the emergency room (for whatever reason calling an ambulence won’t work- remember this is just an imaginary scenario- so we don’t complicate things, let’s just assume the son needs his father and nobody else will do). While on the way, they pass a car accident (yes, I’m stealing this example from the Fishers of Men Video and combining it with my own- it’s a wonderful example of the selflessness and dedication that a good priest and a good father shows and I highly recommend the video to people who are curious about the priesthood, or question some of the disciplines of the priesthood). A person is dying. He stops what he is doing- totally denies himself- and runs to the scene (much like the father who ran to where his injured son lay in the preceding paragraph) and gives the dying person the Sacraments. What if that priest had been the father trying to take his child to the emergency room? What kind of father would he be if he not only denied himself, but his own son- to save someone else? Our Father in Heaven did that, but somehow I don’t think he asks us to (he may test us as he did Abraham with Isaac, but I don’t think He ultimately asks us to make that sacrifice).
Some people are exceptional enough to be both a priest and a husband and father. In the cases of those who aren’t, somebody suffers because of it. The stereotypical “preacher’s kid”- the rebellious child who is nothing like what one might expect when raised under the teachings of their parents (who should be examples to the rest of the community) didn’t become a stereotype for nothing. I have known many of them. They can’t go on vacations because their dad works every weekend. They get caught smoking or drinking and there’s a huge scandal over it (when the kid may not have ever professed to have convictions against those things at all). They get sick of having “church people” over all the time for dinner, and going to their houses, and going on every retreat and youth group activity. The list can go on and on. I would be very careful if I were a bishop (and I am sure the bishops who ordain them are) before allowing a married man with a family to become a priest.
Personally, I don’t believe priests should be married. I don’t believe a person can be fully commited to 2 vocations. A married person has to make their family their priority, a priest makes his parish his priority.A priest should never have to choose between his family and his parish.
).
