I keep asking myself, why is it so difficult for some, not all, of today’s Catholics to recognize Divine Revelation in the first three chapters of Genesis. Could it be that for the last 60-70 years, a rough estimate, some, not all, teachers including clergy have moved away from teaching basic, foundational Catholic doctrines?
What a great question! My own experience, in coming to the conclusions I had made, appeared to set me appart from basic, foundational doctrine. But here is how my experience unfolded.
I met the love of my life at a Newman retreat, where we were both eventually active on the core team. When we celebrated the sacrament of matrimony, I committed to loving and remaining committed to her
unconditionallly. I went through every thing she could
possibly do to me, and decided that I would remain loving her and committed to her no matter what. (In my own words today, this was setting the primacy of Love over the workings of my conscience.)
That was step one. Step two happened because at the first year of our marriage, I was at the height of my Catholic zealotry. I condemned people right and left. I even went to a priest and asked why the Church does not do more to stop evildoers. The priest, in his wisdom, saw my condition, and had these words for me. He said, “It is not to condemn or condone, but understand.” (In my own words today, this is a means of working through the acceptance/condemnation activity of the conscience to find a deeper truth). Did the priest set me in the wrong direction?
So, this is what I did. I sought to understand everyone I condemned, one at a time. And as I understood, my ability to forgive others followed. If the priest had simply told me to forgive everyone, I would have exercised a child’s forgiveness, a “stop being angry” forgiveness. This new forgiveness, that included understanding, was a much deeper forgiveness, a forgiveness that sees that I am no different from anyone else, a forgiveness that gave me the understanding of how I could do what even my worst enemies could do. I forgave everyone, including all of the worst evildoers in history, including myself, and including every
part of myself that I condemned, still using the wise words of the priest. I had found a new, deeper way of loving God. It was a fascinating experience, and
I came to an end point. The end point, for me, was when I forgave
everything within the realm of my own awareness. I am not saying I am “done”, though, because there are still subconscious items to deal with, and those still surface occasionally.
But what happened to me was that every tiny bit of perception of a “force of evil” simply disappeared. It was like half of the universe vanished. With God’s help, I learned how to love everyone without condition.
Looking back, step one was crucial.
I sought the experiences of other people; were there others who experienced this? No one I knew. But I found my own experience, mainly my conclusions, voiced in St. Augustine’s
Confessions, even though I could see that he very much struggled with forgiving some people, including himself. I could mostly relate to his newly found non-dualism, monotheism.
So, have Catholic priests steered me wrong? No, I have been given the gift of forgiveness through the words of a Catholic priest, and I cannot put my experience in reverse. In addition, the words of Cardinal Ratzinger and St. Basil posted on this thread reveal to me that my experience is indeed a genuinely Catholic one.