Parent of a pregnant minor

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johnphilip1972 said:
Okay…I’m disgusted at the thought of my 15 year old daughter having sex. Shame on me. I am in total awe of your superiority. Perhaps one day I can be as perfect as you. :bowdown:
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Nobody can be as perfect as me :rolleyes:

You seem quite certain in your ideas etc so why bother coming on forums? You post this on a public forum and there are going to be people who disagree with you.

My mum probably doesn’t like the thought of me having sex and I’m married!
 
johnphilip1972 said:
Okay…I’m disgusted at the thought of my 15 year old daughter having sex. Shame on me. I am in total awe of your superiority. Perhaps one day I can be as perfect as you. :bowdown:
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What a way to respond to someone who is basing their remarks on what you said in the first place. :rolleyes:
Superiority is not the Catholic way and you know it. And sex is not disgusting either. It’s procreative.
People come to CAF seeking validation for their position. You have gotten it from some, less so from others. But you asked, and people are free to read your OP as written.
I’m sorry you are so angry. I’m sure all who have posted are keeping you and your daughter in their prayers.
 
This thread is full of feel good stories from people who know someone from a similar situation and how they are so happy about the child being part of their life. I’d be thrilled with a grand baby! I have 5 girls, I’d be over the moon to have a grandson! I’d be thrilled to have a granddaughter too! But my reasons for this would be purely selfish. And this child should not be kept from the chance to have a happy, stable life with married, capable parents because I want to do fun grandpa things. My feelings, my daughter’s feelings-none of these are paramount in this situation. What is paramount is what is best for the baby! Will it be sad and difficult for my daughter and the entire family? Absolutely, that’s why adoption agencies offer counseling. I see the pro-abortion crowd spout how pro-life people only care about the baby while it’s in the womb, I’m starting to see that in some of these posts.

What I haven’t seen is someone say “I was adopted and wish my teen mother had raised me herself instead. Having married parents who could afford to raise me and wanted me more than anything sucked.”
 
johnphilip1972 said:
This thread is full of feel good stories from people who know someone from a similar situation and how they are so happy about the child being part of their life. I’d be thrilled with a grand baby! I have 5 girls, I’d be over the moon to have a grandson! I’d be thrilled to have a granddaughter too! But my reasons for this would be purely selfish. And this child should not be kept from the chance to have a happy, stable life with married, capable parents because I want to do fun grandpa things. My feelings, my daughter’s feelings-none of these are paramount in this situation. What is paramount is what is best for the baby! Will it be sad and difficult for my daughter and the entire family? Absolutely, that’s why adoption agencies offer counseling. I see the pro-abortion crowd spout how pro-life people only care about the baby while it’s in the womb, I’m starting to see that in some of these posts.

What I haven’t seen is someone say “I was adopted and wish my teen mother had raised me herself instead. Having married parents who could afford to raise me and wanted me more than anything sucked.”
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“sucked” you say?
OK, I’m out.
There are plenty of kids who wish to high heaven that their birth parents wanted them despite their loving adoptive parents. When you spent your whole life wondering who she was, and why she gave you away. Hmmmm I think there’s a program called The Locator about this very subject.
If you are convinced that you are right, then so be it. But people do care about your daughter and that baby since you brought it here. The fact that you are so defensive is telling. It really is.
May Our Lady watch over this precious child forever.
 
johnphilip1972 said:
This thread is full of feel good stories from people who know someone from a similar situation and how they are so happy about the child being part of their life. I’d be thrilled with a grand baby! I have 5 girls, I’d be over the moon to have a grandson! I’d be thrilled to have a granddaughter too! But my reasons for this would be purely selfish. And this child should not be kept from the chance to have a happy, stable life with married, capable parents because I want to do fun grandpa things. My feelings, my daughter’s feelings-none of these are paramount in this situation. What is paramount is what is best for the baby! Will it be sad and difficult for my daughter and the entire family? Absolutely, that’s why adoption agencies offer counseling. I see the pro-abortion crowd spout how pro-life people only care about the baby while it’s in the womb, I’m starting to see that in some of these posts.

What I haven’t seen is someone say “I was adopted and wish my teen mother had raised me herself instead. Having married parents who could afford to raise me and wanted me more than anything sucked.”
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I think what you are failing to see is there are good and bad stories on all sides. Some kids are rightly adopted and have wonderful adoptive parents, others have horrendous times with abuse. Some are adopted and spend their life looking for answers, some are so happy with their adoptive family, they don’t need to. You can find all sorts of stories, good and bad…it seems to me as if you are specifically searching for one particular story to justify your position. If you loo, there are plenty of successful teen mums out there. I know. I work with some.

Adoption isn’t a bad thing if it’s done for the right reasons. None of us are against adoption. I’m not. What I am against is a parent being disgusted at his daughter…I had an extended relative be physically disgusted at me for something different (my weight) .that person is no longer a part of my life as I knew then that what they called “love” wasn’t love. I didn’t need a poisonous person in my life and this relative was posionous. what I am against is you in your anger (which I can understand) making all the decisions instead of sitting down as a family, hugging your daughter and talking it ALL through…the bad points, the good points. Talk about ALL options not just adoption. This way your daughter will feel supported and if adoption is what is decided on TOGETHER, it will help her through the anguish of losing her child which she will still feel even if she decides on adoption.

Taking your frustrations out on forums isn’t going to get you anywhere other than painting a bad picture of you to us…remember all we see is what you write.
 
johnphilip1972 said:
This thread is full of feel good stories from people who know someone from a similar situation and how they are so happy about the child being part of their life. I’d be thrilled with a grand baby! I have 5 girls, I’d be over the moon to have a grandson! I’d be thrilled to have a granddaughter too! But my reasons for this would be purely selfish. And this child should not be kept from the chance to have a happy, stable life with married, capable parents because I want to do fun grandpa things. My feelings, my daughter’s feelings-none of these are paramount in this situation. What is paramount is what is best for the baby! Will it be sad and difficult for my daughter and the entire family? Absolutely, that’s why adoption agencies offer counseling. I see the pro-abortion crowd spout how pro-life people only care about the baby while it’s in the womb, I’m starting to see that in some of these posts.

What I haven’t seen is someone say “I was adopted and wish my teen mother had raised me herself instead. Having married parents who could afford to raise me and wanted me more than anything sucked.”
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The problem is that you can’t guarantee a happy, stable life with married, capable adoptive parents, even if your daughter chooses very wisely.

You have so much more control over ensuring that this child has a good upbringing if your family provides that upbringing in-house. It’s not at all selfish to do that.
 
johnphilip1972 said:
What I haven’t seen is someone say “I was adopted and wish my teen mother had raised me herself instead. Having married parents who could afford to raise me and wanted me more than anything sucked.”
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People in the adoption rights movement do say that kind of thing, particularly if their placement was not a success.

I think that some of those people are over-romantic about the biological family (lots of people who grew up with married biological parents aren’t crazy about them), but yes, they do exist.
 
This is why I admire Islam: they can honour kill such daughters.

However, that would be a sin (though I don’t know why, if it weren’t, what do you think I’d do?) – I don’t advise it.

You can, on the other hand, disown apples that have rolled far from the tree. She’ll probably say that’s ‘so not Christian of, you evil Hitler (along those lines, she chances are, might not even know who Hitler is yet, if at all)!’
 
KonstantinS said:
This is why I admire Islam: they can honour kill such daughters.

However, that would be a sin (though I don’t know why, if it weren’t, what do you think I’d do?) – I don’t advise it.

You can, on the other hand, disown apples that have rolled far from the tree. She’ll probably say that’s ‘so not Christian of, you evil Hitler (along those lines, she chances are, might not even know who Hitler is yet, if at all)!’
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This post has been reported.

I have a suspicion, Konstantin, that you will not be around long. Telling the OP that you think killing his daughter is morally acceptable is not going to get you far on these forums. :rolleyes:
 
pensmama87 said:
This post has been reported.

I have a suspicion, Konstantin, that you will not be around long. Telling the OP that you think killing his daughter is morally acceptable is not going to get you far on these forums. :rolleyes:
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I said I was against it because it’s a sin.

Go on and report me.
 
Some of these posts are ridiculous :confused:. Obviously it is your right to post what you wish but really? I’m a bad father because I didn’t specifically say how many times since this indecent I hugged my daughter? Honor killings? Bottom line, children can’t raise babies. And I do believe my daughter is coming around to seeing the cold hard truth of it all. 👍 Thank you for your continued prayers!
 
pensmama87 said:
This post has been reported.

I have a suspicion, Konstantin, that you will not be around long. Telling the OP that you think killing his daughter is morally acceptable is not going to get you far on these forums. :rolleyes:
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A very recently banned poster often posted pro-Islam too…

And even if this isn’t the reincarnation of Cackles, judging from the post history it’s another virginity obsessed troll.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
A very recently banned poster often posted pro-Islam too…

And even if this isn’t the reincarnation of Cackles, judging from the post history it’s another virginity obsessed troll.
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Virginity-obsessed troll?

You people, and by that I mean, Catholics, not ‘you’, don’t ‘obsess’ about it enough – which is why too many of your sons and daughters are pregnant or get someone pregnant at 14, get divorced, embrace other beliefs and so on.
 
I posted on this thread a while back, and am sad to see how it has evolved. To the OP: I don’t judge your initial post or you in a negative light. You are disappointed (as I would be) that your daughter is in this situation. As her father, I’m sure you had hopes and dreams for her (as we all have for our children) that didn’t include becoming a mother at 15! I always prayed that my children could achieve their dreams in life- and tried to help them accomplish this. I also feel that you were perhaps still a little shocked and angry when you posted originally. This is part of the stages of grieving. As a good dad, I think that you’re trying to do what is best for your daughter and for the baby. What shocks me is how others are attacking you. And what saddens me most is some people’s negative opinions on adoption. I’ve heard from pro-abortion people that they would rather abort than face the pain of adoption! :eek: WHAT??? That is such a ludicrous statement- yet many of these posters are acting like adoption is a painful and wrong choice. How very un-Catholic of them! Adoption, if that is the decision made by your daughter, is an unselfish and loving choice- and one that should give her comfort. As I stated earlier, Catholic Charities will keep a baby diary for her should she want to check on the baby. They will support her, no matter what her decision. It is a wonderful and Christian and MATURE person who prayerfully discerns what is best for her baby’s future- and adoption is a loving choice, one that places the baby in a stable home with a mother and father while allowing your daughter the opportunity to achieve her full potential and dreams. I think, rather than a bad decision, it is actually a win/win.
 
johnphilip1972 said:
Some of these posts are ridiculous :confused:. Obviously it is your right to post what you wish but really? I’m a bad father because I didn’t specifically say how many times since this indecent I hugged my daughter? Honor killings? Bottom line, children can’t raise babies. And I do believe my daughter is coming around to seeing the cold hard truth of it all. 👍 Thank you for your continued prayers!
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I’d ignore that one post, they are likely a troll.
 
marbleartist said:
I posted on this thread a while back, and am sad to see how it has evolved. To the OP: I don’t judge your initial post or you in a negative light. You are disappointed (as I would be) that your daughter is in this situation. As her father, I’m sure you had hopes and dreams for her (as we all have for our children) that didn’t include becoming a mother at 15! I always prayed that my children could achieve their dreams in life- and tried to help them accomplish this. I also feel that you were perhaps still a little shocked and angry when you posted originally. This is part of the stages of grieving. As a good dad, I think that you’re trying to do what is best for your daughter and for the baby. What shocks me is how others are attacking you. And what saddens me most is some people’s negative opinions on adoption. I’ve heard from pro-abortion people that they would rather abort than face the pain of adoption! :eek: WHAT??? That is such a ludicrous statement- yet many of these posters are acting like adoption is a painful and wrong choice. How very un-Catholic of them! Adoption, if that is the decision made by your daughter, is an unselfish and loving choice- and one that should give her comfort. As I stated earlier, Catholic Charities will keep a baby diary for her should she want to check on the baby. They will support her, no matter what her decision. It is a wonderful and Christian and MATURE person who prayerfully discerns what is best for her baby’s future- and adoption is a loving choice, one that places the baby in a stable home with a mother and father while allowing your daughter the opportunity to achieve her full potential and dreams. I think, rather than a bad decision, it is actually a win/win.
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I really do appreciate you taking the time to post this, your words truly do help!
 
johnphillip,
This is a tremendous cross to bear. I have no advice or wisdom for you, only thoughts and prayers for your family.

FWIW, I definitely read your frustration, but never personally sensed a lack of love and I got your hope for the best possible outcome.
 
marbleartist said:
I posted on this thread a while back, and am sad to see how it has evolved. To the OP: I don’t judge your initial post or you in a negative light. You are disappointed (as I would be) that your daughter is in this situation. As her father, I’m sure you had hopes and dreams for her (as we all have for our children) that didn’t include becoming a mother at 15! I always prayed that my children could achieve their dreams in life- and tried to help them accomplish this. I also feel that you were perhaps still a little shocked and angry when you posted originally. This is part of the stages of grieving. As a good dad, I think that you’re trying to do what is best for your daughter and for the baby. What shocks me is how others are attacking you. And what saddens me most is some people’s negative opinions on adoption. I’ve heard from pro-abortion people that they would rather abort than face the pain of adoption! :eek: WHAT??? That is such a ludicrous statement- yet many of these posters are acting like adoption is a painful and wrong choice. How very un-Catholic of them! Adoption, if that is the decision made by your daughter, is an unselfish and loving choice- and one that should give her comfort. As I stated earlier, Catholic Charities will keep a baby diary for her should she want to check on the baby. They will support her, no matter what her decision. It is a wonderful and Christian and MATURE person who prayerfully discerns what is best for her baby’s future- and adoption is a loving choice, one that places the baby in a stable home with a mother and father while allowing your daughter the opportunity to achieve her full potential and dreams. I think, rather than a bad decision, it is actually a win/win.
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The OP’s daughter is not weighing adoption vs. abortion. She’s weighing keeping her baby vs. adoption, and at the moment, she’s leaning toward keeping the baby. There’s nothing “un-Catholic” about wanting to keep your own baby and there’s no Catholic teaching requiring adoption of the children of young unmarried mothers.

Adoption can’t be a mature and loving choice if it’s the only choice available.
 
Xantippe said:
The OP’s daughter is not weighing adoption vs. abortion. She’s weighing keeping her baby vs. adoption, and at the moment, she’s leaning toward keeping the baby. There’s nothing “un-Catholic” about wanting to keep your own baby and there’s no Catholic teaching requiring adoption of the children of young unmarried mothers.
Adoption can’t be a mature and loving choice if it’s the only choice available.
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Please re-read my post a little slower. I never said any of these things! Of course the OP’s daughter isn’t considering abortion! I never said that she was!! And of course there is no Catholic teaching requiring adoption of the children of young unmarried girls. I never said that there was such a teaching.🤷 I said that **if it is the daughter’s decision **adoption can be a wonderful, mature and loving choice that not only places the baby in a stable family with a mother and father who want it very much but also allows the daughter the opportunity to reach her full potential and achieve her dreams. Those are GOOD things and not against Catholic teaching.
 
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