Parent of a pregnant minor

[Rau]

Well call the Vatican police and put me in handcuffs. Really? Exception? You can state that until the cows come home and if we had to do it over again, YES, we would. There is a wonderful 9 yr old little fella in a loving home with two “stable” parents vs. a young, uneducated, unskilled woman, pining after a druggie who could care less and his idea of a good time is doing drugs, living in filth and talking smack. As a matter of fact, when the counselor went to him to sign away his rights, his father, yes, his father, told him “YOU ARE SIGNING THOSE PAPERS!” His parents and stepparents came to our home and thanked us for sticking to our guns and giving this CHILD a life. The bum in the last nine yrs went on to father two more children, by two different women and at the age of 34, has done absolutely nothing with his life. Yeah, I want that dirtbag in my life for the rest of my life. NOT HAPPENING!

Yep, that’s the life for a child alright? Sorry, bud, I think more of the CHILD than what my princess wanted. She came around after we told her what kind of life, the innocent would live and we made it CLEAR, we were not raising another child. (oh, and I had a hysterectomy at 31, so it wasn’t happening for us)

Perhaps you might simply have said the situation you were dealing with was indeed “exceptional” and left it at that?

 

[Julianna]

Perhaps you might simply have said the situation you were dealing with was indeed “exceptional” and left it at that?

Naw…this person would still hammer me.

The OP is on track in my opinion.

 

[fpt]

Well call the Vatican police and put me in handcuffs. Really? Exception? You can state that until the cows come home and if we had to do it over again, YES, we would. There is a wonderful 9 yr old little fella in a loving home with two “stable” parents vs. a young, uneducated, unskilled woman, pining after a druggie who could care less and his idea of a good time is doing drugs, living in filth and talking smack. As a matter of fact, when the counselor went to him to sign away his rights, his father, yes, his father, told him “YOU ARE SIGNING THOSE PAPERS!” His parents and stepparents came to our home and thanked us for sticking to our guns and giving this CHILD a life. The bum in the last nine yrs went on to father two more children, by two different women and at the age of 34, has done absolutely nothing with his life. Yeah, I want that dirtbag in my life for the rest of my life. NOT HAPPENING!

Yep, that’s the life for a child alright? Sorry, bud, I think more of the CHILD than what my princess wanted. She came around after we told her what kind of life, the innocent would live and we made it CLEAR, we were not raising another child. (oh, and I had a hysterectomy at 31, so it wasn’t happening for us)

I am not against the adoption, of course. The adoption process is not immoral and it is very useful. It is a very charitable invention for the children.
The first purpose of the adoption is to permit to children, without parent, for different reasons, of getting parents and a family. The institution of adoption is made, firstly, for orphans and not for the adopting persons. This natural institution is for the orphans and so on because she gives them a family and co.

The adoption of a baby of a unmarried teenage mother has to be seen **like the ultimate solution and the possible last solution. **The adoption has to be chosen, only, **like the last solution, after having to try to explore the others. **

Before choosing the adoption, all the other possibilities for keeping the baby with the mother must have to study, in the details with all subtleties, objectively speaking, in a catholic sacrificial spirit, in my humble opinion.

 

[PhiloMed]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

 

[PrincessRenae]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

It definitely makes it clear how many different types of families are out there. My parents were very strict, and it was always made clear to me that I would not be supported if my decisions or mistakes went against their values. Being disowned was a legit fear in our household.

 

[fpt]

I am not against the adoption, of course. The adoption process is not immoral and it is very useful. It is a very charitable invention for the children.
The first purpose of the adoption is to permit to children, without parent, for different reasons, of getting parents and a family. The institution of adoption is made, firstly, for orphans and not for the adopting persons. This natural institution is for the orphans and so on because she gives them a family and co.

The adoption of a baby of an unmarried teenage mother has to be seen **like the ultimate solution and the possible last solution. **The adoption has to be chosen, only, **like the last solution, after having to try to explore the others. **

Before choosing the adoption, all the other possibilities for keeping the baby with the mother* must have been studied***, in the details with all the subtleties, objectively speaking, in a catholic sacrificial spirit, in my humble opinion.

The morality of the happiness and the morality of christian catholicity within the family **versus **the morality of fear or scariness within the family!!!

I have made my choice!!! I am catholic: only natural love, only natural goodness, only the catholic charity are the keys.

 

[masondoggy]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

It bothers me too. And I take offense to the insinuation that a young, uneducated, unskilled woman can’t be a good mother and doesn’t have every right to raise her children.
I was that young, uneducated, unskilled woman and I have been a great mother. I have sacrificed all the things that will be meaningless in eternity and focused on the things that will. My babies have had a wonderful life and I have absolutely no regrets. I wouldn’t trade them for all the financial and career success in the world. THEY are what matter. NOT money. NOT success.

Last week, my 15 year old daughter scared the life out of me when she told me her period was 3 weeks late. I had a lot of time to think in the 12 hours it took for me to get her home and take a pregnancy test. Yes, I was scared and disappointed. I was angry. I felt like I was going to puke the whole day. But even aside from all of those feelings and thoughts about how this would change all of our lives, all I cared about was finding a solution that was best for BOTH my daughter and this innocent baby. I can’t imagine separating her feelings with the baby’s best interests and saying that one doesn’t matter over the other one. And the one thing that I was adamant about the whole day was that I did not my daughter to have to live with any regrets. I love her and I can’t imagine forcing her to live with that kind of pain.

And even though DH and I have moved well beyond the diaper stage and I’m ready to start my own career soon (I will finally finish nursing school next year after putting it on hold to stay home with my kids), the last thing I want to do is raise another kid. But DH and I would not have hesitated to take that child in and give it a stable, loving family home to grow up in if that was what our daughter wanted. Our family would have stuck together because that is what families do.

 

[fpt]

The family is holy, the family is natural, the family is first, the links of the blood are first and eternal. The biological family** is the rule of principle**, all has to be done in order to maintain her. The sacrificial efforts for keeping the baby with the mother must be attempted.

If she does not give up her baby for adoption, what will you do as parents after the birth? What will be your reaction as catholic parents and like catholic grand-parents?** I hope so the best for the young mother, for the young father, for the new baby, for the grand dad, for the grand mum and for the young aunties and all the family. **In family, the rules are the love and the solidarity.

 

[Julianna]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

Unbelievable Really?

How about being “real”.

I love my daughter and the OP loves his daughter. When an innocent life is in the picture, that LIFE becomes primary. And some of you people claim to be pro-life…geez louise.

 

[PhiloMed]

We are pro-life.

We’re also pro-respect of life and human dignity to not refer to our children and their struggles in this way on a public forum.

 

[SpidersfromMars]

I just can’t believe how many posters have had 14/15 year old children who’ve had pregnancies/pregnancy scares. Although it’s not surprising when you consider how kids seem to be getting started younger and younger…I stumbled across this online teenage forum a while ago and there were all these 13 year olds posting about sex What is wrong with the world, seriously.

 

[SpidersfromMars]

Not happening on my watch. Call it heartless, call it cruel, but my husband and I were not willing to take up the cause. There are millions of infertile couples out there praying night and day for a child, while some little self centered snit thinks mommy and daddy are not only going to take up the slack, but are going to put “their” lives on hold, until their little princess finds prince charming. She who waits for her prince, cleans up after his horse. Become a woman, before you become a mother.

Sounds like you have a lot of issues with your daughter besides this pregnancy…I would die if my mother ever talked about me the way you talk about her. What are you so angry about anyway?

 

[Xantippe]

I just can’t believe how many posters have had 14/15 year old children who’ve had pregnancies/pregnancy scares. Although it’s not surprising when you consider how kids seem to be getting started younger and younger…I stumbled across this online teenage forum a while ago and there were all these 13 year olds posting about sex What is wrong with the world, seriously.

The social science on this is that teens are having less sex than they used to and later.

 

[SpidersfromMars]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

Yeah, and then they wonder why their children seek love and validation elsewhere.

 

[Julianna]

We are pro-life.

We’re also pro-respect of life and human dignity to not refer to our children and their struggles in this way on a public forum.

ummm…unless you are NSA you have no clue who I am or what my life is like.

The OP has a situation…he is at wits end. With the help of those on this thread, he is working on a solution. I see it as a win-win.

If you are bothered by threads where people are in crisis in their personal life, perhaps the Clubhouse threads would be a better solution for you. Just sayin…

My daughter and scumbag were in crisis. A LIFE was hanging in the balance. The QUALITY of that LIFE is primary. My daughter could not provide. The innocent wins out. Simple.

Yes, teens have kept and raised their babies just fine. But 98% “struggle”. Here is the rub. Why make the innocent “struggle” along with you?

I refuse to watch Teen Mom…as this perpetuates the belief that Juliet’s have the maturity to carry on…and reading the news media, most of the these girls are not doing right by their child and the Romeo’s just give up and move on. Why? Because they can. Juliet made it easy for them to do so. Child support, yeah, my daughter would have raked it in with an unemployed druggie. Remember, those who bring the action to court, have to pay. Where is that money tree?

 

[masondoggy]

I just can’t believe how many posters have had 14/15 year old children who’ve had pregnancies/pregnancy scares. Although it’s not surprising when you consider how kids seem to be getting started younger and younger…I stumbled across this online teenage forum a while ago and there were all these 13 year olds posting about sex What is wrong with the world, seriously.

Yes, it is very disturbing. But then again, look at all the sexual content in the media. It has gotten so rampant and graphic even in the last 5 years. It’s everywhere. Unless you take your kids out into the middle of nowhere and isolate them from the world, it’s impossible to protect them from it even if you pitch the TV in the house. It’s no wonder these kids are buying the goods that have been sold to them.

 

[masondoggy]

And some of you people claim to be pro-life…geez louise.

Wow.

So those of here who value the young mother as much as the innocent baby aren’t pro-life? This is one of these biggest gripes that pro-aborts use against the prolife community. “They only care about the baby, the heck with the mom”. Don’t know how many times I’ve heard that.

Maybe they’re right.

 

[fpt]

I am a catholic lay person about this particular topic. I am not cathar, not jansenist, not puritan, not victorian, not anglican, not protestant, not externalist, non judgmentalism, not muslim, not jewish of The Old Testament, not christian orthodox, not in favor of christian heresies and not in favor of ideologies.

I promote of the natural goodness, of the Catholic Charity, of the natural biological filiation, of links between the family generations, of the catholic forgiveness, of the second chance, of the family generosity, of the natural solidarity…etc. The power of money, the power of the wrong heresies, the power of the wrong ideologies have to be fought with courage and force.

I am in favor of the natural family, of the conjugal love, of the natural biological filiation, of the civilization of Catholic Charity. I am pro-life, I am against the contraception, and I am against the abortion. I am against the sexual education at school: the sexual education has to be done by the parents or by catholic priests, by catholic nurses, by catholic physicians, by catholic educators and by catholic psychologists with the official and explicit agreement of parents. The parents have to give their agreements to the contents of this sexual education. The parents are the bosses about that.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IN THE CATHOLIC WAY

 

[Radish]

What shocks me most in this thread is the very cavalier manner in which two of the parents here speak about their young, pregnant children. It really disturbs me. Clearly their real opinion of their children is that they are untrustworthy worthless pieces of garbage.

It sure sounds that way.

 

[Julianna]

Yes, it is very disturbing. But then again, look at all the sexual content in the media. It has gotten so rampant and graphic even in the last 5 years. It’s everywhere. Unless you take your kids out into the middle of nowhere and isolate them from the world, it’s impossible to protect them from it even if you pitch the TV in the house. It’s no wonder these kids are buying the goods that have been sold to them.

Totally agree! Yes, it is very disturbing. Sex…is no longer sacred and personal…it’s a free for all. Although I am a 70’s child…I believe…wait for it… women have been very irresponsible with their sexual freedom…not taking into account…that “we” bear the children. I believe the woman has the yes or no card…and sadly, it is she that ends up bearing the responsibilty. Whereas the man, is, “Hey, if you’re going to turn on the tv, I’m going to watch.” As women we have given too much of our sexual freedom away, that man, being man is like, “ok, whatever”.

As a teen in the 70’s the excuse at high school was, gee if you don’t have sex how will you know if he is going to be any good? Really, what does that have to do with it?

Do I think we need to be prudes? No, we need to smarten up. We can predict if our man is going to up and leave, but we need to remain in sync with skills and education…not just if he leaves or cheats…but if he should pass away suddenly, we need to have a plan.