'Pearls in need of polishing'-paedophiles

[hoping4more]

So our priest says Sunday that (I’m paraphrasing) ‘the church has had many abusers yet they are sinners too, and are pearls in need of polishing’.

Normally he is pretty hard lined against sin but I guess he is trying to keep people in the church who are disgusted with all this, but this seems like an awful way of doing it.

Thinking about emailing him, but still unsure of how to present this other than

‘your words meant to keep people in the parish are driving us away’

 

[TK421]

Dioceses ought to have a committee that deals with abuse or suspected abuse. Contact them and/or reach out to the USCCB and ask for resources related to the subject to support the parish and offer them to the pastor, adminstrator, etc. Finally, offer up a brief prayer or a Rosary for your intention.

Peace.

 

[pnewton]

Your priest is correct. Sin diminishes but does not remove that part of us that is precious and of infinite worth to God. The moment we fail to see this in any other person, regardless of sin, then we are at direct odds with Jesus who died for these men as much as he did for anyone.

The truth does sometimes drives people away, but this truth is also a great hope for those who think they have sinned too much to come back to Church.

 

[Neithan]

That kind of language can give the impression that those men could be rehabilitated and remain in the priesthood, which is disturbing. While the truth of the gospel remains for people who commit grave sins, some kinds of disordered inclinations, which can lead to grave scandal (causing serious harm to vulnerable souls), exclude a man from being fit for the priesthood: pedophilia is obviously one such disorder. Preachers should be extremely careful not to insinuate otherwise.

 

[nicholasG]

‘the church has had many abusers yet they are sinners too, and are pearls in need of polishing’

I don’t think sex abusers are pearls.
How about sympathy for the abused and not the abuser.

 

[FiveLinden]

Child sex abusers can and do stop. This can be greatly helped by professional psychological help in peer-reviewed programmes. I know of no evidence that religious counselling and advice alone leads to lower recidivism although it’s entirely possible it is helpful.

But a ‘former’ abuser should never, ever, be allowed unsupervised contact with children. Not because he (nearly all are male) will offend again but because the risk that he will do so is much higher than a level of acceptable risk. A ‘former’ offender who does not get this is not really a ‘former’ offender. They have not recognised the reality, personal and social, of what they have done.

One way to increase risk to children is to reject, ostracise and isolate ‘former’ offenders. While they need to be kept away from children for everyone’s safety as well as human respect, they need to be treated decently and fairly and given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. Without this chances are they will return to their former behaviours. Life-long contact with psychological services is also important. Decisions on offenders who have children need to be made on a case-by-case basis looking at whether they pose a risk to their own children. Err on the side of extreme caution.

People who are untrained in the treatment of child sex offenders or unschooled in the literature, such as priests giving sermons, should take extreme care in what they say.

Surely the Church could create some standard messages that promote safety and advise against the use of ‘pearl’ metaphors that are easy to misinterpret?

 

[ReaderT]

I don’t think sex abusers are pearls.
How about sympathy for the abused and not the abuser.

What he means is, deep down everyone has the Image and Likeness of God (the “Pearl”) although we can smear mud over that pearl with our sins. Still, anyone can clean up their life, and sin can never remove that Image from us.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Appallingly poor choice of words.

Clerical sex abuse is deeply disliked in the United States, and any attempt whatsoever to defend the perpetrators is never going to be well-received, even if it does contain a kernel of truth.

Just out of curiosity, did anybody walk out? I might have.

 

[jeannetherese]

Your priest is right. We need to pray for sinners and extend them forgiveness. Of course it is also reasonable to help deliver them from opportunities of additional sin by isolating them from children.
Perhaps they might best serve the church doing paperwork in cubicles in buildings utilized by other adults and praying privately.

 

[ZemD]

Pedophiles have extremely high recidivism rates. They will always come into contact with children in society. At grocery stores, parks, beaches, movies, etcetera. And thus they will continually be a threat to children, no matter how much psychological treatment they receive.

I hope your preist meant well, I would call him and speak to him about it.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I doubt he meant “they’re great guys apart from all the child rape.” My guess is he meant “even though they’ve done horrible things, they’re still human beings made in the image of God.”

 

[FrankFletcher]

Child sex abusers can and do stop. This can be greatly helped by professional psychological help in peer-reviewed programmes. I know of no evidence that religious counselling and advice alone leads to lower recidivism although it’s entirely possible it is helpful.

But a ‘former’ abuser should never, ever, be allowed unsupervised contact with children. Not because he (nearly all are male) will offend again but because the risk that he will do so is much higher than a level of acceptable risk. A ‘former’ offender who does not get this is not really a ‘former’ offender. They have not recognised the reality, personal and social, of what they have done.

One way to increase risk to children is to reject, ostracise and isolate ‘former’ offenders. While they need to be kept away from children for everyone’s safety as well as human respect, they need to be treated decently and fairly and given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. Without this chances are they will return to their former behaviours. Life-long contact with psychological services is also important. Decisions on offenders who have children need to be made on a case-by-case basis looking at whether they pose a risk to their own children. Err on the side of extreme caution.

People who are untrained in the treatment of child sex offenders or unschooled in the literature, such as priests giving sermons, should take extreme care in what they say.

Surely the Church could create some standard messages that promote safety and advise against the use of ‘pearl’ metaphors that are easy to misinterpret?

Some interesting claims here. But studies of child sex abusers are limited, as many are never reported. And just as I don’t want to be friendly with those who beat children, I also have no interest in being friendly with those who abuse children sexually.

 

[mythbuster1]

Send them to a penal colony in Alaska to spend their days in the oil fields. Pedophiles can certainly be rehabilitated as long as you keep them away from children, but they must not be reintegrated to ordinary society.

 

[redcatholic]

Sounds tone deaf at best. The only things priests should be publicly saying is informing about safety and how evil abuse by priests is. Probably it was the Sunday with the reading of the pearl of great price. But no one should be talking about “polishing” a priest. Period. See, the problem isn’t that there are tons of abusers everywhere, it’s the ignorance of even the good priests about the problem. A more appropriate point would have been the parable if the weeds and the wheat and justice perfectly applied by God at the end.

 

[TK421]

Pedophiles have extremely high recidivism rates. They will always come into contact with children in society. At grocery stores, parks, beaches, movies, etcetera. And thus they will continually be a threat to children, no matter how much psychological treatment they receive.

I hope your preist meant well, I would call him and speak to him about it.

While I don’t doubt the recidivism rates, I am also 100% positive that this is partially because pedophiles are openly despised pretty much everywhere and anywhere without mercy, and without that emotional support and with that constant beatdown, that opens them up to past behaviors. Mainstream society perpetuates pedophilia, just like we perpetuate other crimes as well. We can change that attitude now or we can change it in Purgatory

Psychology isn’t a hard science but that is one of the few things that is etched in stone and is absolutely irrefutable. No emotional / moral support = far higher rates of repeated behavior.

And of course, this is all in light of Linden’s post. An offender must be in lifetime contact with the authorities and with counselors and must never be trusted with children ever again. But if we openly despise that person or harass them, we will answer for it because we are contributing to the problem of pedophilia at that point instead of helping.

Peace.

 

[Lucy_1]

they are sinners too, and are pearls in need of polishing’.

This is scandalous wording. Also, I had a priest who would often say “only 5% of priests in the Church are sex offenders.” Guess who was arrested for that very thing? And I never would’ve guessed it. I have noticed several protestant pastors who preached against homosexuality came out as gay, or those who preached the prosperity gospel were found with their hands in the coffers. I am obviously making no judgements, or casting aspersions about your priest, but just want to put it out there that sometimes those who preach about something a lot are often guilty of it.

PS I have a nagging feeling that there might be something sinful about this comment, but I can’t put my finger on it, so I will delete it if it causes offense.

 

[Wesrock]

It’s true enough that they need to repent and strive for perfection, too. This can be difficult to discuss tactfully, though. Not impossible, but one can come across as defensive.

 

[BartholomewB]

So our priest says Sunday that (I’m paraphrasing) ‘the church has had many abusers yet they are sinners too, and are pearls in need of polishing’.

What do you mean, “paraphrasing”? What did he actually say?

If those were the priest’s actual words, then I agree with @HomeschoolDad that it was an appallingly poor choice of words, and I agree, too, with @Neithan that the priest is giving the impression – either intentionally or inadvertently – that he wants pedophile priests to be allowed to remain in the active priesthood.

However, since you’re only “paraphrasing”, we don’t know exactly what it was that the priest said. What is his view (as far as you can tell) of pedophile priests being allowed to remain in the priesthood?

 

[Lea101]

Child sex abusers can and do stop. This can be greatly helped by professional psychological help in peer-reviewed programmes. I know of no evidence that religious counselling and advice alone leads to lower recidivism although it’s entirely possible it is helpful.

I’ve actually heard the opposite. That they tend to fall back in. Currently there’s no proper ‘program’ for such individuals.

 

[Lea101]

100% positive that this is partially because pedophiles are openly despised pretty much everywhere and anywhere without mercy, and without that emotional support and with that constant beatdown, that opens them up to past behaviors.

Would you be friends with a convicted pedophile though? I can’t imagine having a relationship with someone who has to constantly be in touch with the authorities, counsellors and can’t talk to children because there is a high chance of him scarring an innocent child. Most people wouldn’t want to even speak to them.

This doesn’t sound very Christian of me, I know.