People not wanting babies

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MiserereMei25

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Am I in the wrong for getting annoyed by people who talk about babies like they are a nightmare to have? I feel like most of my peers (even Christian peers) these days would rather have dogs over babies.
I had someone at work say that they would rather wait 5 years to have a baby because they can’t handle the spit up and diapers…
 
So lead by example. Many people have ideas about kids, particular if they are young or inexperienced, but their minds change over time. When I graduated college, I didn’t think I’d get married until I was in my 30s. A week later, I met the man I married (at 23) and started having kids with (at 25).

Plus, you never know what people are actually going through and whether they are covering up some other pain.
 
Having a baby is tough for some families.

That is reality.
Reality is my husband and I have less sleep, less free cash, less time for ourselves, more responsibility, more bills to pay, and more stress. That is a direct result from having children.

It would be resonable to see why that does not sound appealing for a lot of people.

It’s also tough for people to envision a life with children if they haven’t had any yet.
The tendency to see the negative and not the positive.

I was convinced I would never have kids when I was in my early twenties. Then I met my husband and all of that changed.

If a person is not in a solid relationship, does not have a secure job, has a lot of financial responsibility at a young age (student loans, credit cards)…the idea of having a kid is probably the farthest from their mind.
 
I think that people who complain about babies generally are the type who complain about everything. That being said, I was thinking outloud in the lunchroom about whether all laundrey really needs to be put in the drawers, or whether I could just make life easier and put all the children’s school clothes in hamper, since we know they’re just going to wear them every week and then take the outfits out throughout the week. I explained that I needed to make less work for myself and a coworker told me that if I wanted less work, I should have less children. I explained that I actually like the children, it’s just the chores that I want to go.
 
MiserereMei25 said:
People make children sound like they’re a burden
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To some people, children really are a burden. They don’t like them and they don’t want any. There isn’t anything wrong with that. Parenthood isn’t for everyone. We shouldn’t encourage people who have no interest in having children to have them.

Think of it this way. That person who is saying they don’t like kids today, may be the doctor who spends all of their time studying and improving their skills, only to save your life via a necessary surgery 15 years from now. All that time, effort, and investment you are spending on your kids, they may be investing in learning and serving others through medicine.

The world is a big place and there is room for everyone. We wouldn’t want everyone to have the same desires in life. It would mean we would all be like each other, and there would be a lot of empty places and “holes” that wouldn’t get filled.

If someone says they don’t like or want kids, say something like “Well, it certainly isn’t for everyone. It is a real calling!” and leave it at that.
 
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Pray for them Misereremei. Allow your annoyance to lead to prayer. We struggled with infertility and I could never understand people who thought negatively about their infants and children. It depends on the lens we look through.

A mother with 5 and struggling to feed 5, with another on the way will look at it differently if she starts thinking of how to house feed educate clothe and raise them all.
 
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I get irked by that too.

Children are a blessing, and some people have a harder time seeing that.

I have 3. It’s been the most difficult endevour of our lives, but of course they’re the best part of my life.

There have been hard times. One of my children is in Heaven now, but on Earth, he had a lot of difficult health issues that definitely seemed more like a curse than a blessing.
However, he has been the biggest blessing of my life and the lessons I learned from raising him for the short time I could are the most valuable blessings I have.

So yeah, I have a hard time understanding why people complain about kids after going through what we have.
But I try to be understanding.
 
the media makes women want to pursue careers instead now, so by the time their establish and ready, their eggs will be dried up
 
Sorry, this bugs me too. It’s insulting to mothers who work, and God-forbid, enjoy their careers.

Women can have a career. There is very little either/or. In fact, most women do both.

I come from a very long line of career women who took the time to advance their careers and have children. My great grandmothers, grandmothers and aunts all worked. My mother owned a business when she had me and my sister.
She wanted more but had to have an emergency hysterectomy when she was 32.
My sister is a regional manager for a store she started working as a cashier. She’s a mother of 2 very active, little boys,

I work full time and love my career. I hated being a stay at home mom when I did it early on with my babies.
I have three children and I am far from done. I still have 7-8 years of fertility left.

I will be happily teaching my daughters you can do both and you should try to do both if it makes you happy.
 
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i say its the cost of living. households need to be 2 incomes to survive in much of the world
 
MiserereMei25 said:
Am I in the wrong for getting annoyed by people who talk about babies like they are a nightmare to have? I feel like most of my peers (even Christian peers) these days would rather have dogs over babies.
I had someone at work say that they would rather wait 5 years to have a baby because they can’t handle the spit up and diapers…
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I have always kind of worried about people that dislike kids, but I think it is more because of how many parents these days allow their kids to behave. If you are only exposed to a handful of badly behaved kids, you probably would be hesitant to want kids too.

Preferring an animal over a baby is kind of weird, but I do like animals and have pets. It’s sad when I see people that think of their pets as their kids, but now I think it is a sign that they do want to sacrifice and care for someone dependent on them and that is positive. They may be wanting children but unable (embarrassment could make them say otherwise), they could be lonely, or maybe they just think of kids as the brat next door that cusses at everyone they see (it happens unfortunately).

Your coworker may be serious, but what would be different about all that in 5 years? Could they mean that in 5 years they would have a marriage, a higher job position with more pay/benefits? Could they be struggling to conceive and will be planning to adopt then? Who really knows for sure. I just know in 5 years, babies will still be spitting up, crying, pooping, and doing baby things. So the wait makes no sense for those reasons.

Don’t know if it’s wrong to be annoyed or not. I try to not let other people offend me. I try to think of reasons someone may say things hurtful as a cover for their hurt. That said, my husband used to have very ugly comments from fellow soldiers about having too many kids, “fixing that problem” (which is stupid because our kids were adopted), being irresponsible, etc so I know their are jerks out there. I’m old (47) and just had a baby. Talk about ugly comments from people! So yeah, I go back to worrying about anyone that dislikes kids. They seem angry about a lot in life.
 
Perhaps. But even in those places there are many single income families that make life work for their family. I work and so did my mom, I find it very normal for parents to work. But I think it is ideal in many ways to have one of the parents available to drop work if needed for the sake of family harmony.
 
I know lots of families where one parent has a “career”, while the other “works”. There are jobs out there that are flexible for parents who need to take time off for their families. Substitute teaching is one example. My mom often juggled multiple “works”, in order to make enough money to live on, but also to have the flexibility to actually run the house and parent.
 
Exactly what I mean. Yes, I think it is the ideal. My dad was like your mom and my mom had the career
 
I know some career women with kids as well, and after maternity leave was over they had to leave their kid with someone else, usually daycare. my buddy makes an hour exactly what his daycare costs. it’s a shame more women aren’t content being stay at home moms imo. instead a lot of kids have some mean daycare worker that leaves them to break bones or daycare fight clubs, which have been in the news recently.
 
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