Pictures Of Deceased

[OutinChgoburbs]

bapcathluth:

There is a very funny scene in the Pat Conroy book The Prince of Tides where the grandmother takes her grandchildren with her to the funeral home to pick out a casket. She gets in a bunch of coffins to try them out. She powders her nose, and has the kids take her photo in several of them to see which one she looks best in. Has anybody else read that book?

Yep. It was a hoot.

 

[LittleDeb]

While I am not personally against the photographs I did have an experience as a child that turned me off of them.

I was around 8 years old and my family was visiting a great-grand-aunt. At the time I had no idea how to discern ages so I didn’t know the age of this particular lady. When we walked in this aunt nearly went into shock at seeing me. She kept going on about how much I looked like her “dear Barbara.” There was a painting on the wall of a young girl who indeed looked very much like me. I didn’t really understand what the deal was or why this woman was fawning over me. I let her because it would have been impolite to say anything.

Anyway, long story short, I got a headache while we were there and needed to lie down. They put me in their “guest room.” It was in there that I saw the picture framed on the dresser of this young girl (about my age) in her casket. In that photo we looked exactly alike. Same time frame and everything. I thought she had just died or something.

It wasn’t until years later that I discovered that Barbara had died a few years before my own mother was born. She was born in the 30’s and this was the 70’s. While I can respect the desire for photos and like viewings for closure, I have never really been able to let go of this particular incident.

Sorry I hope this wasn’t too weird but it has really stuck with me.

 

[Debbie]

cheddarsox:

I am surprised by how many find the taking of such photos inappropriate or disturbing. I was raised Catholic, and the norm was two full days of visitation with an open casket. …

The human body does not suddenly become something unpleasant or awful at the moment of death. Most of us are very attached to our loved one’s bodies as well as their souls.

cheddar

I’m with you, cheddarsox. My MIL just died and one of my first thoughts the day of the vigil was if I should take her picture. I didn’t b/c the casket was only open for a couple of hours at church. It was the first death I had been around where there wasn’t a couple of days viewing in a funeral home.

I also don’t understand why someone would be so freaked out to see someone in a coffin and definitely fail to see the comparison to pictures of a woman giving birth.

God willing I’ll be blessed to be in an open casket someday (rather than having died from some terrible, mutilating accident) and I certainly hope people don’t run screaming at the sight of me!

Debbie

 

[amcalabrese]

Lilyofthevalley:

Does your family take pictures of deceased loved ones? It seems my father’s side of the family takes pictures the deceased at the funeral viewing.
If your family practices this, is it ethnic or simply an old custom?

I have nbever heard of that before. I did not allow it at either of my parents’ wakes, and have never heard of someone doing it.

What has become a tradition (and one that I like) is that people make a collage of photographs to display at the wake. At my Mom’s wake, I also had my parent’s wedding picture displayed and a subway she appeared in 20 years before.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Lilyofthevalley:

Does your family take pictures of deceased loved ones? It seems my father’s side of the family takes pictures the deceased at the funeral viewing.
If your family practices this, is it ethnic or simply an old custom?

**We had friends that did this many years ago. Their first born son was killed in an accident and they had pictures of him on the coffee table. They were second generation Italians and told me their family has done this for generations.

Must admit it freaked me out as I had never heard of this prior to then. I am Swiss/German.
**

 

[amcalabrese]

We had friends that did this many years ago. Their first born son was killed in an accident and they had pictures of him on the coffee table. They were second generation Italians and told me their family has done this for generations.

Must admit it freaked me out as I had never heard of this prior to then. I am Swiss/German.

My family is (I am second generation US born) Italian and I never heard of this.