Like the phrasing here
I have knows guys who are mature in that age-group and might warrant my attention, were I single, yeah. Now, not every guy who is 15-16, mind you, but there have to be a few out there statistically.
But ya got me, I’d rather be looking for an older guy, than a younger one, this is true. But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
If you were thinking of having a career as a lawyer, or military officer, and taking the first steps in one of those directions, and wanted to know how to achieve your goal and what a successful career in the field is like, who would you ask for advice? Would you ask someone in law school or boot camp, or would you ask a person who practiced law or had been in the military
for a few years?
Do you know any people around your age that have courted for a couple of years where the boy is three years younger than the girl? Do you know any who courted for four or five years and ended up married?
I have been watching this mating game go on for decades, have been to a lot of weddings,kids weddings and kids friends weddings and probably have met hundreds of married couples in my life. I have never met any that got together and dated through adolescence where the woman is a few years older than the man. There may be some out there, but I never have known of any. Do any of the posters out there know any?
Do you honestly know any girls your age who have gone out with boys three years younger? Among your girl friends have you ever known an eighteen year old who told you she had a crush on a fifteen year old boy, told you she thought that a high school sophmore was really cute and wanted to go out with him?
There is a reason the situation is often reversed.
Previous posters have commented that girls mature earlier than boys. Girl’s bodies and brains develop faster. They are adults younger. They are sexually mature at a younger age and they have a limited time of fertility. They are interested in boys earlier than boys are interested in girls and generally one who is a little older and more mature and is closer to being ready to support a family.
What 15 year old boy do you know right now that you would be interested in romantically? Conversely, what percentage of young women do you know who are interested in guys a couple of years or so older?
My guess is that most of the adult posters would say serious dating, courtship, should be postponed until a bit later, for both sexes. The attraction may be there at 16, but people in this day are not prepared to marry and take care of a family until later when they finish school and become employable.
Why start your engine if you can’t go anywhere? Its difficult for normal healthy people to control their hormones the more time spent together (years) being in a romantic relationship. That includes you. The temptation is to get sexually started early and statistics say when that happens, things generally do not work out well. Most, the majority of teenagers who date for a couple of years, including church goers are sexually active with all its risks. That is what the the numbers say.
You are right that generations ago people got married at 18. That is not practical today. Early to mid 20s is, so why start courting or dating when marriage is impossible for years?
Being young and in the courtship stage of life can be pretty exciting. It is also a dangerous time of life. There are lots of pitfalls and we can see many broken lives and marriages and children hurt by divorces, many unwed mothers, kids with no fathers, stds and abortions. This is serious damage and it all starts with dating. People get hurt badly. Adults who have been through this period, some with bruises and wounds, try to reach back and help young people who are going through it, to get through those years safely and without too much damage and pain.
Serious dating when marriage is not possible for years is not advisable. That goes for you also. It poses a lot of risk and temptation. Sexual self control is difficult for most people at an age when hormones are powerful. The longer the courtship period the more difficult it becomes.
I have four daughters. My wife and I discouraged them from starting romantic relationships until they were out of high school. They kept busy with sports, hobbies, school and church. They had lots of friends of both sexes and did not spend all their time tied up with one person. Most of them went to the world youth days and met a lot of people and some made lifetime friends from all over the country. They were free to grow and learn about themselves and life and develop their own interests for a few in between years until they were ready for adult life.
That may not be for everyone, but by being romantically entangled and spending most of your time with the same person through most of high school you miss out on a lot.
I not bad at making friends with people, but a little friendly advice on how to make good solid friendly relationships certainly won’t hurt. Thanks.
Anyway, today I got to hang out with her a little more, we watched our local church league All Star game, it was fun. I learned a few more things about her. She wants to be an art therapist, what the heck is that:shrug: . She said her friend told her about it and that she doesn’t really know what they do, geez what’s up with that:shrug: Anyway how can I take things I learn about her, like this for example, and build on that to make a good friend? Thanks:thumbsup:
If my teenage son was obsessing and strategizing this much over one girl who he never dated a day, who is out of high school especially, I would start to worry about why he is spending so much of his time on something like this. Not that I’m worried about you–but be careful that you don’t allow this to become an obsession…friendship or not. I think if you want to be her friend, so be it, but do it *without alternative *reasons. Ask yourself, if she is dating someone else, if you will feel jealous as her friend, etc…If you would be jealous, you might not be able to be a genuine friend to her, because it’s not really friendship that you’re seeking. Know what I mean?