Political views and marriage--has yours been affected?

[just_me_1]

oh no! I think I’m in your situation, only I’m more in line with your husband! The whole obama situation has me obcessed, DH lets it roll off his back. We don’t argue about it, but it keeps me in a bad frame of mind which does strain our relationship. I can’t keep myself from listening to rush and those guys (I don’t want to change that!) but DH thinks I shouldn’t. He thinks it gets me more worked up or frusterated. I dunno. I can sympathize, and if it’s any consolation, it should get better in a few years.

I would suggest, if it was me, to go on a vacation without the darn radio. go camping, get way away. and maybe gently point out that you’re on vacation from the world… that includes obama and his administration. a beer and a backrub couldn’t hurt either, to get things relaxed.

 

[whatevergirl]

oh no! I think I’m in your situation, only I’m more in line with your husband! The whole obama situation has me obcessed, DH lets it roll off his back. We don’t argue about it, but it keeps me in a bad frame of mind which does strain our relationship. I can’t keep myself from listening to rush and those guys (I don’t want to change that!) but DH thinks I shouldn’t. He thinks it gets me more worked up or frusterated. I dunno. I can sympathize, and if it’s any consolation, it should get better in a few years.

I would suggest, if it was me, to go on a vacation without the darn radio. go camping, get way away. and maybe gently point out that you’re on vacation from the world… that includes obama and his administration. a beer and a backrub couldn’t hurt either, to get things relaxed.

**Oh I hadn’t thought of a backrub, and a beer…that is actually a good idea.

We leave for vacation on Wed…I’m hoping that seeing his mom, and visiting brothers and sisters, seeing old friends…it should be fun…

God bless you as you try to wean yourself from the Obama-mediaized world we live in, too! **

 

[jwashu]

Yea you are probably right about the porn… but you got my point

I think you and DH getting away will be great, I know my wife and I need a break from the boys sometime soon ourselves.

A friend of mine, who does listen to Rush etc… at lunch went to Hawaii for 2 weeks last year and was so much happier when he came back because he got away from everything. Work AND the politics of the election.

I personally get way to wrapped up myself trying to point people to the middle so I’ve had to bow out in that regards a lot. People on the right seem to get angry and say someone isn’t patriotic if you don’t agree with them and liberals just think everyone who doesn’t agree with them are stupid, heh. The truth is definitely somewhere in the middle.

Have a GREAT time during his vacation!

Joe

 

[ChristinaM]

I think I may be more like your DH. I’m a political junkie, love to read all the big conservative blogs. I do worry quite a bit about Obama and his policies. My DH is rather conservative, although I would describe his views as more libertarian. He’s not Catholic so issues like abortion are not as vital to him. He does agree that it is wrong but thinks it is impossible to make abortion illegal. We have debated over that a time or two. Now his parents, I NEVER discuss politics with them. His mom donates to NARAL and PP. I love my MIL but needless to say that is not a topic of discussion between us - although I do pray for her conversion.

I will say this, though…when I come home to my DH that’s like my “safe space.” I’m in grad school so the whole day I’m surrounded by people who are way more liberal than me. (Except for a handful of students that happen to be from Texas, haha!) I get to hear all about how Sarah Palin is dumber than a stack of bricks, “right wingers” are full of hate, blah blah. When Obama was coming here to ND it was VERY uncomfortable for me because all my coworkers were complaining about “those crazy anti-abortion people” and I didn’t have the guts to speak up unfortunately. Needless to say I avoid discussing politics with most of them. I kind of end up venting to DH by default. Maybe that’s the case for your husband?

Thing is though, life is too short to be going around fretting over everything Obama does. Yes, we need to be concerned, especially when the policies affect us as Catholics. But for me, sometimes I need to back off the blogs, and even the Politics section of CAF. I can feel myself getting so angry I can’t see straight…and I know that is not healthy. God is in charge - I figure he can take care of worrying over our country’s incompetent leaders for a while.

 

[shannyk]

ugh. i agree with whomever said that those guys, the Rush’s and Olberman’s and Beck’s are like toxic waste coming out of the radio or TV. ALL cable news is blocked in my home and I do NOT listen to any political radio. Just pure toxic waste IMHO, and fear mongering.

Let me not get on a soapbox here, but people need to remember these guys are in the entertainment business, and after ratings. Everyone is better off forming their own opinions about the world and the news and their NEIGHBORS!! GAH is that is one thing that gets me riled up it’s how these guys pit people against each other based on stereotypes and FEAR. A Christian does not pre-judge, a Christian gets to know people without all this BS in their head. Honestly these guys like nothing more than to fuel the us against them mentality. They love it, they thrive on it. It’s truly disgusting.

Ok off box…Sharon your DH probably has the best of intentions and feels very deeply about these issues, that’s admirable considering all the apathy in the world. How about directing him to delving more into Catholic social teaching? That way he can make informed thoughts and decisions in light of Truth instead of in light of what Rush Limbaugh says. Catholic social teaching is rich and beautiful and for me the most interesting aspect of Church teaching to delve in to.

Here are most of the teaching documents.

I think it’s also wise to remember that talking about the president and his family in a way that is…uncharitable, is not OK, and is gossip. Discussing and criticism the minutia of their loves and how they raise their children etc. is not right, from a person to person perspective. He may be accountable to us as our president, but we are still ultimately accountable for our behavior and reactions. We might not have voted for him, or agree with him, but we need to take responsibility for how we react to someone we dislike being president. more importantly we need to pray and give it to God. Frankly if anything good comes out of ANY presidency, it’s because of HIM not these men, because lets face it, they are pretty much a bunch of loonie toons!

I have to give my props to Mrs Obama BTW, she looked so nice and MODEST (God forbid) when she visited the Vatican, and wore a veil to boot! (especially considering the Catholic Nancy Pelosi did not wear one…just sayin’)

 

[JPUSC]

Sounds like Sarah Palin is tired of ultra-conservatives too. Good for her. :clapping:

The former Republican vice presidential nominee said she plans to write a book, campaign for political candidates from coast to coast — even Democrats who share her views on limited government, national defense and energy independence — and build a right-of-center coalition.

“I will go around the country on behalf of candidates who believe in the right things, regardless of their party label or affiliation,” she said during an interview published Sunday in The Washington Times.

…

Yet she’s already reminding audiences of her bipartisan and family-oriented appeal.

“People are so tired of the partisan stuff even my own son is not a Republican,” Palin said. Like his father, 20-year-old Track Palin is registered as “nonpartisan” in Alaska, she said.

news.aol.com/article/sarah-palin-stump-for-democrats/567777?icid=main|main|dl1|link7|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fsarah-palin-stump-for-democrats%2F567777

 

[Phemie]

In 33 years of marriage DH & I have probably rarely supported the same candidate - I say probably because the only one I can be sure of is the one on whose campaign we both worked.

Of course in Canada the political situation is very different, with many more parties and a very different way of electing a Prime Minister from the way the President is elected. I’ve never belonged to a political party and have voted ‘candidate’ rather than ‘party’ in 90% of elections. IOW, I vote for the candidate regardless of his party – the candidate we worked for was running for the Conservatives but I would have supported him regardless of which party he ran for.

When it comes to politics DH and I do not discuss and we rarely even share with the other who we decided to vote for. It was the same in my family growing up, Mom & Dad never divulged who they’d voted for, telling us it was nobody’s business and encouraging up to make up our own minds based on what we learned about the candidates. The motto was always “Don’t vote for a party, vote for the best candidate for your riding.”

 

[SaltySirena]

WG, I think his anger is really fear. Fear makes him feel unmanly, so he turns it macho and shows it as anger.

I’m fearful, too. I’m scared my kids won’t have the same America I did. If Obama gets his way on everything he wants, The United States will be unrecognizable! Government will own and run everything, our borders will not exist in any real sense, our economy will be destroyed in service of environmental policies for a problem that does not exist, and an open, active racist, and 2nd Amendment hater, seems to be about a day from being confirmed to the Supreme Court.

How can we not be fearful?!

I agree your husband should not be taking it out on you. Totally unfair. He needs to listen to Rush’s humor. It seems he’s ignoring that part! Rush uses humor to try and relieve us from the fear and anger for awhile. And he constantly reminds his listeners that this country is too resilient to be brought down by one bad President. Seems your husband is tuning out those parts through his own bitterness filter. If he can’t listen without doing that, then maybe he should give it up.

Remind him that it took Carter to get us Reagan. That should soothe a rabid, fire-breathing conservative. I know it helps me a little when I feel bleak.

 

[mary_bobo]

WG, I think his anger is really fear. Fear makes him feel unmanly, so he turns it macho and shows it as anger.

I’m fearful, too. I’m scared my kids won’t have the same America I did. If Obama gets his way on everything he wants, The United States will be unrecognizable! Government will own and run everything, our borders will not exist in any real sense, our economy will be destroyed in service of environmental policies for a problem that does not exist, and an open, active racist, and 2nd Amendment hater, seems to be about a day from being confirmed to the Supreme Court.

How can we not be fearful?!

I agree your husband should not be taking it out on you. Totally unfair. He needs to listen to Rush’s humor. It seems he’s ignoring that part! Rush uses humor to try and relieve us from the fear and anger for awhile. And he constantly reminds his listeners that this country is too resilient to be brought down by one bad President. Seems your husband is tuning out those parts through his own bitterness filter. If he can’t listen without doing that, then maybe he should give it up.

Remind him that it took Carter to get us Reagan. That should soothe a rabid, fire-breathing conservative. I know it helps me a little when I feel bleak.

 

[dulcissima]

We don’t have TV anymore in our house. It just brings so much more peace. I hate cable news. I think FOX is the worst, not necessarily because of their content, but because of the audio assault. Don’t listen to the words, just listen to the way that they bombard their listeners. It’s obscene. My kids now complain when they have to spend time at someone’s house that has that on.

I just read my news now, and I try to get it from a variety of sources. It helps you to weed out the garbage.

As for the security costs for the president, the issue is not any different for the Obamas than it was for any other president. When I lived in Maryland I knew a couple of people who were secret service agents. Presidents, regardless of political party, are not our hostages. They get to take vacations, catch up with friends and family, and be involved in the world around them. I would seriously question the motivations of anyone who wanted to make a big deal out of that. Think about it; those who want to rob you of your peace and make you feels so unsettled probably don’t have anyone’s best interest at heart.

 

[Teen4Christ]

Radio shows are filled with extremists on both sides. Lots of political tv shows as well, I think people should just stop watching the extreme liberal or extreme conservative ones, it just fuels anger.

 

[SaltySirena]

Yeah, I have to agree that ranting about the cost of security for Michelle Obama when she goes shopping is a bit much. They had to do the same for Laura Bush, who DID NOT wear any cheap dresses to formal events (at least one Oscar de la Renta stands out in my mind). She is the spouse of the President, she is entitled to that protection, and everyone needs to shop sometime. As for her $600 tennis shoes… I am sure they used personal money for those, of which they have a great deal. I find it personally hypocritical for people who are demanding that every struggling middle class American turn out their pockets to support their liberal social agenda to spend that kind of money on tennis shoes, and then give basically nothing to charity… but that’s another thread.

 

[SaltySirena]

Radio shows are filled with extremists on both sides. Lots of political tv shows as well, I think people should just stop watching the extreme liberal or extreme conservative ones, it just fuels anger.

Well, thankfully YOU are not the arbiter of our speech or airwaves.

Thank God for the First Amendment.

You think these shows you dislike fuel anger. Well, that is your moderate bias speaking there. Many people listed to the shows for what they are, and do not go off ranting or acting out anger toward anyone.

And besides:

“Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.”
-Barry Goldwater

 

[whatevergirl]

Yeah, I have to agree that ranting about the cost of security for Michelle Obama when she goes shopping is a bit much. They had to do the same for Laura Bush, who DID NOT wear any cheap dresses to formal events (at least one Oscar de la Renta stands out in my mind). She is the spouse of the President, she is entitled to that protection, and everyone needs to shop sometime. As for her $600 tennis shoes… I am sure they used personal money for those, of which they have a great deal. I find it personally hypocritical for people who are demanding that every struggling middle class American turn out their pockets to support their liberal social agenda to spend that kind of money on tennis shoes, and then give basically nothing to charity… but that’s another thread.

*lol–exactly. I said to my husband, oh, yeah, and the Bushs were shopping at Walmart, right?

I have to run, but will get back later. I have read through everyone’s replies…THANK YOU! To the poster who said it could be about fear…you are right. Fear and anger are closely related, and I think that my husband doesn’t like feeling out of control–who does, though, right? But, because Obama came out of left field (no pun) we don’t know much about him, so we feel vulnerable. I just keep asking my husband to pray pray pray. We may not be in control…BUT GOD ALWAYS IS. *

 

[Teen4Christ]

Well, thankfully YOU are not the arbiter of our speech or airwaves.

Thank God for the First Amendment.

You think these shows you dislike fuel anger. Well, that is your moderate bias speaking there. Many people listed to the shows for what they are, and do not go off ranting or acting out anger toward anyone.

And besides:

“Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.”

                                       -Barry Goldwater

Hardly a moderate, I’m pretty far to the left. I’m not talking about all radio shows, there are some good ones that are conservative and some good ones that are liberal, i’m just saying I’d rather not listen to a show that makes horrible comments about people.

Back on topic, people shouldn’t let political views effect their love for one another and their relationship.

 

[masondoggy]

Politics was not something DH and I discussed very much before we got married. But we actually discovered that we agree on just about everything. I think there are even a few issues he has influenced me or maybe even changed my mind over the years.

We talk a lot about Obama and the state of our country in this house but a lot of it is joking around and laughing. What else can ya do? Sometimes it’s healthier to laugh than sit here and get angry and stressed about something that we can’t change.

My parents, on the other hand, have become complete opposites. My dad is a die-hard democrat (ya know, the democrats are for the little guy philosophy). My mom used to be but that gradually changed as the party abandoned their roots and became the party of death (in my opinion). Things did get a little heated with them around election time because she got so frustrated with my dad because he was going to vote for such a pro-abortion candidate. It really upset her and they had quite a tift over it.

 

[LongingForLight]

I agree with this 150% The Left Wing radio guys were hard on Bush but that was after he spied on us illegally, ran up a national debt (with no job increases to show it, only deaths), started an unjust war etc… and even then they weren’t as hard as the right wingers are on Obama.

I agree with the rest of your post (about having no Catholic party, etc.) , but disagree with this part. Just before the Bush vs. Kerry elections, I attended a Halloween party that culminated with a decapitation of a Bush effigy. The hate in the room (hundreds of people, and not a political event, just in a very liberal area of the country) almost made me physically ill. I was definitely shaking afterwards - I think I was actually in physical shock.

This was part of my political de-conversion from being a pretty solid liberal / Democrat to being middle of the road, The other major incident occured around the same time but spanned months, and involved discrimination against me as the sole Christian at my workplace - because those “dumb Christians elected Bush.” Incidentally, I voted Kerry after a great deal of thought, and this time I voted McCain. I still like the things I always liked about liberals, but I’m less likely to whitewash their putrid side now. Radical liberals can be just as hateful as radical conservatives. I heard the greatest anti-Bush rhetoric after his re-election, and have yet to hear anything so foul about Obama. At least, nothing so foul and hateful that is blatant falsehood (besides that he is the anti-Christ, I’ve heard that a number of times, but don’t think anyone takes it seriously to decapitate Obama’s effigy).

 

[Jay82]

So, at dinner recently, my husband asked me if I heard that Obama’s wife bought a $600 pair of running shoes. I said, no I hadn’t heard that. He said…what do you think about that? I said, who cares. He flipped…who cares? You SHOULD care, that’s our tax dollars. I said, you don’t know that our tax dollars are buying their clothes, they were successful prior to getting into office. He replied, Our tax dollars are going to all the bodyguards she needs when she goes on her shopping sprees, which are often. I said, Oh, and Bush was a saint, eh?

And then, we’re off…
*

I tend to have more conservative views, but that is the kind of a ridiculous example which I could definitely see mentioned by someone like Rush, Hannity, etc. I have a friend who is a secret service agent and they are paid to work their shift regardless of whether the first lady sits in the White House or goes out to do any sort of activity. With the exception of special events/travel, the costs are generally very static. To complain about extra tax dollars going to ‘protection’ because of some life style choices is not accurate. If she decided to fly to France to buy the shoes, that is a different story. Palin caught a lot of unnecessary criticism for her wardrobe choices too. In the grand scheme of things, little issues like this are meaningless.

ugh. i agree with whomever said that those guys, the Rush’s and Olberman’s and Beck’s are like toxic waste coming out of the radio or TV. ALL cable news is blocked in my home and I do NOT listen to any political radio. Just pure toxic waste IMHO, and fear mongering.

Let me not get on a soapbox here, but people need to remember these guys are in the entertainment business, and after ratings. Everyone is better off forming their own opinions about the world and the news and their NEIGHBORS!! GAH is that is one thing that gets me riled up it’s how these guys pit people against each other based on stereotypes and FEAR. A Christian does not pre-judge, a Christian gets to know people without all this BS in their head. Honestly these guys like nothing more than to fuel the us against them mentality. They love it, they thrive on it. It’s truly disgusting.

Ok off box…

Well said Shannyk, I personally do not like any of the talk shows conducted by Rush, Oberman, Hannity, etc. Just like you said, they are out for ratings and popularity. They are in a business and they want to make money. In doing so, they portray a message which is sensationalized and twisted to gain viewership of people who feel the same way and people who disagree (I know many people who despise the aforementioned 3 people, but will watch/listen to the shows - Same goes for Howard Stern). I feel like they are all negative and polarizing figures. These hosts are divisive people and spread general negativity even if they are presenting valid points.

I have an uncle much like whatevergirl’s dh who I worked with when I was younger doing construction work. We had a radio and he would insist on having WFAN on so he could hear Hannity and Rush. For many summers I listened to close to six hours of those guys if I couldn’t convince him to turn on a baseball game. Anyway, the stuff they say at times and the manner in which they present it, is down right awful. Even when I agreed with them, it bothered me to hear them talk about the issue in a way that would only push moderate folks away from their view point. From my limited exposure to Oberman, he is the same way…too bad he didn’t stick to sportscenter… I liked him then, now I change the channel immediately if I see him on the tv.

On a side note… I have a work phone number quite similar to radio/tv talk show that talks about a lot of controversial issues. Whenever their is something ‘major’ being discussed, I get many wrong number calls and voicemails from people who think they are calling the show. The messages are some of the most hate filled and ignorant things I have ever heard (not worth repeating)… it is really disappointing to realize people still think like that.

It is because of that and other things that I feel shows like Rush, Hannity, Oberman do a lot more harm than good.

 

[pacoenelsaco]

Well geez, I started reading the first paragraph of your first post thinking “Well, he’s just upset about Obama being president and wants to be up to date on everything he does. Solely for the purpose of being informed on what our President is doing and what his intentions are.” But as I read on I came more across the impression of “…Ok…This guy sounds a tad bit obsessed!”, lol.

I mean if it’s really getting bad enough to the point where he’s talking about Obama EVERY day and it’s really starting to annoy you, then I would prolly sit down with him and have a one on one conversation explaining how you feel. And let him SERIOUSLY know that it bothers you but in a nice, calm, and understanding manner. Look him in the eyes, hold his hand, speak gently to him, and just let him know that you love him and that you married him. Not him and Obama, lol. So you don’t need to know about Obama everyday. It’s good to be informed, but not obsessed. And I’m sure he’ll understand and he’ll realize how important it is to you once you let him know. I’m pretty sure he loves you and if it’s that important to you, then he’ll stop. But if he doesn’t, then I’d say take it to a counselor, u know?

I mean I can’t stand Obama. The only good thing he’s done that I’ve heard of is putting up that anit smoking bill or whatever that was. Everything else I hear from him just makes my blood boil. So I understand how he feels, but he just needs to let it go a bit.

 

[MercyMia]

Part of your husband’s ire towards Obama may be a feeling of helplessness. He probably feels like as the man and head of the household, he is suppossed to be protecting his family and providing a secure future for them. He may feel that Obama is removing that capacity for him because of the direction his taking the country in. When he speaks out against Obama or liberal agendas that he feels threaten his values, he feels like he is at least taking some control towards the situation. So, in a way his seemingly harsh words may actually in his mind be a way of protecting his wife and kids in the only way he really knows how at the moment.
I think it is great that you at least share your Catholic faith, that is greater than any other bond!