E
eaManwe
Guest
Hello everyone. I thought for a while about what I should write. I’ve got many more feelings than words, but I think that my voice needs to be heard, because I have a feeling that others are feeling the same way. 
I’m a 19 year-old male college student (second year). My father is and always has been a strong man, whom I love and loves me. A man who taught me what being a man is really about - strong, grounded in the love of christ, humble, giving, kind, and courageous. My mother is loving, nurturing, and encouraging. My entire family has an extremely strong love for Christ, for his Church; Catholicism. My parents are everything I could possibly ask for in parents. I’ve experienced homosexual desires since I was 12 or so, almost exclusively. I do not act feminine. I tried therapy for 4 months or so, to no effect. I have not acted on my temptations with anyone, in any way.
Short conversion story: At age 14, I learned of the church’s position on homosexuality while at the same time having many athiest friends who gave me many questions and critiques of the church. After feeble, childish prayers that were no more than asking God to do a magic trick to prove he existed, I decided I didn’t want to believe in Him. That lasted for about 3 weeks. It was pretty horrible. Anyway, my parents found out about my athiesm - and they sent me to youth group, somewhat against my will. At my parish youth group, I experienced a genuine love from the youth minister and volunteers, who helped show me the love of Christ. On a retreat, when I was 15 years old, I gave my life to Christ, and told him that no matter what, I’d do my best do to what he wanted in my life. For a long time, I felt called to the priesthood. I got involved in the Church as best I could. And here I am, 4 years later, still giving back to the church. (My primary ministry is youth ministry, actually, giving back to the ministry that brought me to Christ… hopefully showing youth the same love that I was shown.)
Okay, so now you know a bit about me. Here are my thoughts.
To be honest, I feel rather … vocationless. I can’t get married. And now, it has been decided for me that I can’t become a priest. Therefore, there is only one option left: single life. I dont know guys, this doesn’t feel right. Is not a vocation a discernment process? At the vocation talks I’ve heard, there is always the theme of “don’t be stuck with your default vocation.” They mean that one shouldn’t just automatically assume that they’re going to be married. They should explore all possibilities and really discern their calling. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
This line is the one that disturbs me the most:
A “serious personality disorder”? I don’t understand.
I’m going to be honest - I feel a little bit lost here. I will always be true to my Lord and I will always adhere to the Church’s teachings, but… I’ve never felt more strained than this. Honestly, it feels like rejection. The spirit that seemed to be with the CCC’s teaching on homosexuality seems to be devoid here.
I’m a 19 year-old male college student (second year). My father is and always has been a strong man, whom I love and loves me. A man who taught me what being a man is really about - strong, grounded in the love of christ, humble, giving, kind, and courageous. My mother is loving, nurturing, and encouraging. My entire family has an extremely strong love for Christ, for his Church; Catholicism. My parents are everything I could possibly ask for in parents. I’ve experienced homosexual desires since I was 12 or so, almost exclusively. I do not act feminine. I tried therapy for 4 months or so, to no effect. I have not acted on my temptations with anyone, in any way.
Short conversion story: At age 14, I learned of the church’s position on homosexuality while at the same time having many athiest friends who gave me many questions and critiques of the church. After feeble, childish prayers that were no more than asking God to do a magic trick to prove he existed, I decided I didn’t want to believe in Him. That lasted for about 3 weeks. It was pretty horrible. Anyway, my parents found out about my athiesm - and they sent me to youth group, somewhat against my will. At my parish youth group, I experienced a genuine love from the youth minister and volunteers, who helped show me the love of Christ. On a retreat, when I was 15 years old, I gave my life to Christ, and told him that no matter what, I’d do my best do to what he wanted in my life. For a long time, I felt called to the priesthood. I got involved in the Church as best I could. And here I am, 4 years later, still giving back to the church. (My primary ministry is youth ministry, actually, giving back to the ministry that brought me to Christ… hopefully showing youth the same love that I was shown.)
Okay, so now you know a bit about me. Here are my thoughts.
To be honest, I feel rather … vocationless. I can’t get married. And now, it has been decided for me that I can’t become a priest. Therefore, there is only one option left: single life. I dont know guys, this doesn’t feel right. Is not a vocation a discernment process? At the vocation talks I’ve heard, there is always the theme of “don’t be stuck with your default vocation.” They mean that one shouldn’t just automatically assume that they’re going to be married. They should explore all possibilities and really discern their calling. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
This line is the one that disturbs me the most:
As ministers in what capacity? Does this include lay ministries?The text, which was approved by Pope Benedict at the end of August, says that homosexual men should not be admitted to seminaries even if they are celibate, because their condition suggests a serious personality disorder which detracts from their ability to serve as ministers.
A “serious personality disorder”? I don’t understand.
I’m going to be honest - I feel a little bit lost here. I will always be true to my Lord and I will always adhere to the Church’s teachings, but… I’ve never felt more strained than this. Honestly, it feels like rejection. The spirit that seemed to be with the CCC’s teaching on homosexuality seems to be devoid here.