I’m sorry but I didn’t speak of either of those situations. I was speaking of a marriage blessed under God in a Catholic church that lasted 30 year and produced 5 children having to be annulled as it should have never happened, meaning those children should have never really been conceived in that marriage. Not the best feeling I have had in my Catholic life. My mother chose not to annul the marriage and never remarried living 40 year alone.
Nobody thinks the children should not have been born once the marriage happened. There was nothing sinful about the marriage, and nothing wrong with children being born of it. God specifically created you.
There is no requirement to get an annulment. However, until one does, in God’s eyes, they will always be married to that other person. The validity or invalidity of a marriage is an adult issue that should not be put on the children’s shoulders.
It sounds like your mother was in a lot of pain and took it out on you and your siblings. That sounds aweful. But, what was done to you was not in line with Church teaching.
Nobody is talking about putting anything on children’s shoulders. Children do it to themselves - and they know a lot more about what’s going on than we think they do. They also have emotions that we ‘rational’ adults don’t necessarily think about. I have a close friend who was an adult when her parents divorced - she still felt like her identity was shattered because of it. I have another friend who will never seek an annulment (and has left the church - not just for that reason) because she does not want to send her kids the impression that she and their father did not have a marriage. She questions how you teach children that marriage is a commitment if you deny the marriage even happened?
I am sorry I assumed wrong. Not getting an annulment was the right thing for my mother. If I ever face the same thing, and wanted to remarry I guess I would have to leave the Church because I would never get an annulment.
I think many of you are getting stuck on this concept of the ‘worth’ of the children. That they think they shouldn’t be here because the marriage was not valid. That’s not what I’m getting at. Children whose parents are broken up suffer so much having the two people who gave them life, who make up two parts of them, at odds with each other. Do you have any idea what it must be like to perform in a dance recital and only be able to go out to celebrate with one part of your family? My husband left a week before my daughter’s first birthday - she has no memory of us being together. But my kids can look at the wedding pictures and see that there was a time when we were in love and happy together and at least feel like they are part of that. Then the Church comes along and says - ‘no - not even that moment was valid in the eyes of God.’ Ouch!
I completely agree with him.
A declaration of annulment is saying that a marriage never happened. So how can God see the two as “married” when they never were?
A CIVIL annulment says that a marriage never happened. That is not what the Church teaches. Valid or invalid speaks of whether or not marriage vows may be broken. There are some pretty high standards to meet for a valid marriage. There are likely countless couples that upheld their wedding vows until death that were in marriages that could be considered invalid due some defect or another.
For those people who went to their death unknowingly in a life long invalid marriage, you’re saying God still sees them as married, until this particular couple gets an annulment, in which case God stops seeing them as married, even though God may already know its been invalid from the beginning.
That is because you’re twisting it into knots. God knows when a marriage is invalid (breakable), but that doesn’t mean people see it. If a couple wishes to uphold their vows regardless of the validity of their marriage, they can certainly do that. God does not penalize people for not knowing something.
The teaching on marriage comes from God, not men.
Gen 2: said:
Glad to hear it
Me too
