Pope Francis on Divorce and Remarriage

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Both of your parishes are wrong. There is no reason to abstain from communion as long as there is not adultery happening between you and your boyfriend. The second one is double-plus-wrong by encouraging you to marry invalidly.

You will unfortunately have to separate from your current romantic relationship until the annulments are final. You are a married woman and you need to comport yourself like this in order to be in agreement with the Church. I am disheartened to hear that your past relationships caused you so much grief. But I realized not so long ago that there comes a time when one must sometimes decide between romance and God. Romance is a fleeting thing that does not necessarily lead us on the path to personal holiness. It can only be pursued as a holy vocation to marriage, and right now that vocation for you is in disrepair and needs resolution before you can move forward in life. It will take a lot of patience and self-sacrifice and you will need to ask yourself if this is the cross that you must take up to follow the Lord.
 
I do think the church has to have more compassion If a husband or wife has been left because of adultery . Why should the innocent party be denied communion if they remarry. Why should they be condemned to a life of celibacy through no fault of their own.I dont think our lord would want this.
 
Elizium23 said:
But I realized not so long ago that there comes a time when one must sometimes decide between romance and God.
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This is the pivotal point. I wonder how many divorced/re-married couples are sincerely willing to place *God *before partner. It is, after all, a matter of their salvation. Whatever the sacrifice needed to correct a sad situation, it is, nonetheless, of their own making. How unfortunate that bad choices in life hurt not only ourselves, but others as well. Having said that, I do believe God will honor the sincere heart and our Lady, Un-doer of Knots, can certainly make the way smooth.
 
I do think the church has to have more compassion If a husband or wife has been left because of adultery . Why should the innocent party be denied communion if they remarry. Why should they be condemned to a life of celibacy through no fault of their own.I dont think our lord would want this.
 
Burdock said:
I do think the church has to have more compassion If a husband or wife has been left because of adultery . Why should the innocent party be denied communion if they remarry. Why should they be condemned to a life of celibacy through no fault of their own.I dont think our lord would want this.
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For the reason that the act of remarriage makes the “innocent” party no longer innocent. Marriage is a holy vocation and it should be taken seriously. The innocent party is free to live a chaste life until the time of a declaration of nullity or the death of her spouse.
 
Im not saying it shouldnt be taken seriously. But it is not right that remarriage should make the innocent party not innocent.
 
Burdock said:
Im not saying it shouldnt be taken seriously. But it is not right that remarriage should make the innocent party not innocent.
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If they remarried after a divorce, then they are an adulterer. Christ Himself made that very plain and we have no authority to contradict Him. Matthew 19:3-9 ; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18

St. Paul wasalso pretty clear on this and specifically noted that the command comes from God Himself
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife
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1 Cor 7:10-11
I dont think our lord would want this
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In light of Christ’s own words on the subject, on what do you base this statement?
Why should they be condemned to a life of celibacy through no fault of their own
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I think I see part of the problem, you consider a life of celibacy to be some sort of punishment.

Remember, Marriage is a SACRAMENT. And, like all Sacraments, it’s whole purpose is the Sancification of the recipients. When a man and a woman receive the Sacrament, it is a covenantal bond to help the other achieve Salvation. That is the whole and entire point the Sacramental Grace which accompanies marriage.

Yes, in some marriages, that convenant will result in great hardship on the behalf of innocent parties. But is that not a participation in the sufferings of the most perfect Innocent Victim of all, Christ Himself. Does it not bring about the Graces that the Sacrament itself entails.

How many of the Saints were wronged in Marriage ( St. Monica is a great example).

Also, look at the model of the convent between God and Israel. Look at all the times that Israel played the harlot and rejected him, idolized other gods. So now if you REALLY want to understand how God views the separation of convential bonds and how patient the wronged spouse should be, look towards God Himself. And then figure out what He wants from a wronged spouse.
 
Yeah, it’s this kind of hard line heartless by the book cling to the doctrine no matter what thinking that led me to seriously and nearly succeed btw commit suicide -eight- times rather than seek a divorce. Because there seems to be no love and foregiveness in those that run Christ’s church and ironically proclaim His Gospel of Love from the pulpit. I find it ironic that a murderer could confess his sin and receive communion and all the rich politicians like Ted Kennedy and Pelosi and Gray Davis all have sinned against the church including divorces but we take a pass on rich and powerful Catholics… Let’s beat up on a simple couple who are not having sex who are trying to honor God and the church and let’s make them pariahs. Because that’s apparently the intent of scripture :confused:
 
So many people, Catholics included, are infected with the notions of modern society that conjugal love is an inalienable human right, that sex without consequences is a pleasure which all of us deserve and that we cannot be burdened with love, marriage or children unless we exercise our personal right to choose. This is the path of Population Control and a Culture of Death. But the Church lives a Culture of Life.

The teaching of the Church is that sex is a holy privilege shared by couples for two purposes: their unity and the procreation of children. Contraception perverts the latter end while adultery perverts the former end. The Church has given us, for our “hardness of heart”, several means to escape imperfect marriages, because human beings are frail and sinful. But the fundamental teaching is of matrimony as a vocation, a life’s calling, and we enter into it solemnly with vows before God, His ministers, and all His people. It is no less serious than an ordination or a religious profession. In a similar way that a priest offers sacrifice on the holy altar of the Eucharist, a married couple enjoys the marital embrace in a totally loving, self-giving manner which reflects the love of the Holy Trinity. Someone with a prior bond of love to a living person cannot properly give of himself in this way, he is gravely impeded.

I write this as a single layman with no obvious vocation at present. When I was young, marriage was a daunting responsibility which I shirked. Now that I am mature, it is increasingly difficult for me to find an appropriate spouse, because I have formed strict ideas about what makes a lifelong relationship, and furthermore I have decided that my love for God is stronger than my love of sex or women, and so any human relationship is naturally going to be subordinated to my love of holiness. I don’t resent the Church for “condeming me to a life of celibacy”, indeed I recognize that all my own choices were the ones which put me in this position, which is not permanent or unfixable. So those who are divorced and remarried, or considering remarriage, are in my most earnest prayers, because I can sympathize with the difficulty with which they approach a life of holiness.
 
I think each case should be looked at.If my husband decided to leave me for someone else and divorce me against my wishes, does that mean I am expected to remain single for the rest of my life.
 
Burdock said:
I think each case should be looked at.If my husband decided to leave me for someone else and divorce me against my wishes, does that mean I am expected to remain single for the rest of my life.
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No - the rest of his life.
 
Well im sorry but that is not right.The church has to have more compassion.
 
[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 5:27-32[/BIBLEDRB]

I find it extremely interesting that I went searching for the verse about cutting off your hand lest it send you to Hell, and found it nestled in between teachings on marriage. Therefore Christ’s message to us is clear: if we are attached to something in this world that weighs us down in sin, we need to let go and pursue a path to personal holiness and glorification of God.

If your husband divorces you, and for some reason a declaration of nullity is denied, then the best advice is to release yourself from attachment to sexual activity because God is choosing another path for your life. Perhaps a divorce is the way of compassion - some of us need a shattering life change in order to re-evaluate our priorities and calibrate them toward the Lord.

Furthermore let us not forget the true meaning of compassion. True compassion is not letting us get what we want, but consideration for the welfare of all of society. And a marriage is the essential building block of a family. A married couple who divorces is not only wounding their own bond but the familial bonds that were forged among their relatives, and more importantly the bonds of their very own children to their parents. Children of divorce are wounded, torn, suffer divided loyalties, lies and gossip, and abuse. Children of a divorce are robbed of their father, mother, or even both. Divorce is worse for children than homosexual “marriage”. This is why the Church speaks so forcefully against it and why her relative silence at the liberalization of divorce policies across the world is so harmful to society in general. It is one more nail in the coffin known as the Culture of Death.
 
I find these attitudes very difficult.Also the churches attitude to contraception. I became a catholic in 2010 my husband does not share my faith and at 50 obviously we wouldnt want to have another child. So are we supposed to abstain?
 
Burdock said:
Well im sorry but that is not right.The church has to have more compassion.
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I refer you again to the example of God and Israel.

Read Jeremiah 3 and ask yourself; would it be better for us to follow God’s example, or for God to have followed what you propose?

How is it not compassion itself to follow the example of God Himself?
 
Burdock said:
I think each case should be looked at.If my husband decided to leave me for someone else and divorce me against my wishes, does that mean I am expected to remain single for the rest of my life.
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You can seek an annulment. But yes, if one spouse deserts the other that does not change the marital condition. You are still married. You are not single.

Because of the hardness of their hearts, Moses permitted divorce and remarriage. But Jesus said this is against what God has designed. He was very clear about this. So don’t get mad at the church, get mad at Jesus for not endorsing Moses’ compromise.

As someone who is living a chaste life while her husband lives with another woman I can assure you, life is still worth living even if you sleep alone for the rest of your life.
 
I have read jeremiah 3. Things were very different then. I still feel that the innocent party should not be treated like that.
 
Im with you carajentzen. As I said every circumstance is different. People are so blblinkered on here.
 
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